Hotter Together with Joel Monteleone

On July 15th, Brian sat in the Italian Dolomites writing a list of who his future wife would be. That same day in Japan, Nathalia pulled a temple fortune that said the person she'd been praying for was coming. Twenty four days later they matched on Hinge. Ten months later they were engaged.This one isn't luck. It's two people who got clear on what they wanted, changed how they lived, and then built a life on purpose.Key Discussion Points• Writing down your future partner, for real• Her sister's line that ended the corporate grind• Ending generations of neglect in one family• The 130 pound loss she never shared• Quitting the week her boss pushed back• The "what do you cost" money talk• Head of the house, she's the neck• Their yearly couples vision retreat, step by step• Same team, mad at the problemFollow Brian: https://www.instagram.com/brianluebben/?hl=enFollow Nathalia: https://www.instagram.com/nathalialopez/Follow Joel: https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/?hl=enTimestamps00:00 to 03:00 · Your biggest investment isn't your money03:00 to 05:18 · Why "it comes when you're not looking" made him furious05:18 to 07:55 · "You were here, but you weren't here"07:55 to 10:54 · The generational cycle that stops with him10:54 to 17:28 · Cancun at three weeks, against her parents' wishes17:28 to 24:38 · The fortune and the list, both dated July 15th24:38 to 27:59 · The vision board that came 80% true27:59 to 32:11 · The 130 pounds she never talked about32:11 to 36:43 · A viral video, a warning, and a resignation36:43 to 39:05 · "What do you cost?" The $4K a month talk39:05 to 44:03 · He's the head. She's the neck.44:03 to 50:06 · Newly engaged and secretly updating her resume50:06 to 58:12 · Inside their yearly couples vision retreat58:12 to 60:35 · How a spouse becomes a tax superpower60:35 to 63:22 · Not mad at each other, mad at the problem

Eric and Pippa Plantenberg know what a marriage looks like when it drifts apart. Eric spent ten years in a first marriage that never worked. Pippa spent 24 years in hers before losing her husband to a brain tumor just weeks after his diagnosis. Both came out the other side determined to help other couples build marriages strong enough to meet whatever life brings. Now, as authors and coaches, they guide engaged couples through the conversations most people never think to have before the wedding, so the marriage can last long after it.Key Discussion Topics: The seven conversations every engaged couple needs before they say “I do”Why people get coaches for everything except marriageHow to catch misalignment at two degrees, not twentyWhy repair and amends are the real superpower in a relationshipThe worst vow advice online, and how to write vows that actually mean somethingFollow Eric: https://www.instagram.com/ericplantenberg/?hl=enFollow Pippa: https://www.instagram.com/cheriplantenberg/?hl=enWork with Eric and Pippa: www.abundantlivingretreat.comwww.themarriageofalifetime.comwww.vowmastery.comFollow Joel: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/?hl=en⁠Timestamps0:00-1:10 - Eric and Pippa coach engaged couples on marriage, not the wedding.1:10-3:51 - Both were married before, and Eric went zero for ten.3:51-9:30 - Pippa’s 24-year marriage: four kids, no time, and slowly drifting.9:30-12:12 - A Sunday headache, a glioblastoma diagnosis, and six weeks until he was gone.12:12-16:31 - Six months earlier, she told a retreat she needed to work on death.16:31-18:38 - A year of grief, then the fear came back with Eric.18:38-21:22 - The worst night: a meditation on death, a shattered glass, Pippa fainting.21:22-25:12 - Why couples need to stay aligned as they keep reinventing themselves.25:12-29:56 - Free diving injuries, old triggers, and why they refuse to drift.29:56-36:17 - Conversation one: why do you actually want to be married?36:17-39:17 - Why people get coaches for everything except marriage.39:17-42:08 - Conversation two: values, and why every argument is really about them.42:08-46:31 - Trusting yourself, and the communication rules they throw out.46:31-48:44 - Alignment: it’s two degrees, then six, then twelve.48:44-51:25 - Repair, amends, and commitment, and how all of it becomes your vows.51:25-55:04 - The worst wedding vow advice online, and what to write instead.55:04-58:07 - Fill your own cup first, and the day Pippa found her yes to free diving.58:07-1:02:43 - Why the best marriages are better than ever and the average is worse.1:02:43-1:07:31 - One piece of advice for men, and one for women.1:07:31-1:08:43 - Where to find Eric and Pippa and their book.

Chandler Bolt built Self-Publishing.com into a real business, then met Aubree at a house party where three different friends tried to set them up without knowing it. What followed was a breakup, a cross-country move, a future-planning night held together with sticky notes on his living room windows, and a marriage that changed how he leads his company.Key Discussion Points: The referral strategy Chandler used to meet Aubree instead of dating appsAubree's "cab light" theory of why some relationships never moveThe night Chandler realized he had a plan for everything except herHow marrying Aubree made him a better, more empathetic CEOThe children's book Aubree kept secret from him for over a yearFollow Chandler: https://www.instagram.com/chandler.bolt/Follow Aubree: https://www.instagram.com/aubreebolt/Follow Joel: https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/Timestamps0:00–2:04 — He's built a personal brand doing the most in public. She lives a private life. 2:04–6:57 — Three different friends tried to set them up. None of them knew about the others.6:57–9:06 — A guy in a pineapple shirt and an overeager wingman nearly cost him his shot.9:06–12:29 — They danced on a rooftop for hours, and he texted her back the very next day.12:29–15:06 — He was done with LA. She wasn't ready to follow him anywhere.15:06–18:00 — She drove him to the airport for his move, then ended things right after.18:00–20:35 — Her theory: men are cabs. If the light's not on, you get out.20:35–23:06 — She sat him down and told him straight: no plan means no her.23:06–25:12 — He didn't propose. He covered his windows in sticky notes instead.25:12–30:20 — Why you should never take relationship advice from someone who's single.30:20–34:22 — If your friend group just trashes their husbands, that's a red flag.34:22–38:17 — Marrying her changed how he leads an entire company.38:17–41:06 — His right hand at work quit, and it broke something open in him.41:06–45:06 — She never once cared what he was worth, and that's exactly why he trusted her.45:06–47:23 — She kept an entire book hidden from him for a year.47:23–50:54 — Their real dream: land outside Austin, family close enough to walk to.50:54–58:40 — His last piece of advice: love isn't a feeling you wait for.

Fabi and Chase both got their heart broken before they found each other. This episode is about what happens when you stop chasing love and start becoming the person who can hold it, and the wild, specific signs that show up when it's finally real.Key Discussion Points:- Why trust starts with yourself, not someone else- The vision board that manifested him first- Getting triggered is not a red flag- Choosing couples therapy before saying I do- Her cervix healed after doctors said noFollow Chase: https://www.instagram.com/chasefinlay/Follow Fabi: https://www.instagram.com/fabiennefinlay/ Follow Joel: https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/Time Stamps: 00:00 to 03:03 — Second chances at relationships03:03 to 04:43 — The choice point that decides everything 04:43 to 05:14 — The moment Chase triggered her completely 05:14 to 06:26 — Divorced at 36 with a cancer diagnosis 06:26 to 08:25 — Why life is rigged in your favor 08:25 to 14:17 — Manifesting him with a vision board 14:17 to 16:17 — She was deleting Bumble when she found him 16:17 to 22:04 — Six minutes at 7:30am or it's not happening 22:04 to 26:08 — Become the list instead of chasing it 26:08 to 30:18 — The swipe that changed both their lives 30:18 to 32:19 — A tarot card, a lion, and a wild sign 32:19 to 44:18 — Why instant chemistry can be a red flag 44:18 to 48:12 — Choosing couples therapy before the wedding 48:12 to 52:03 — The letter that revealed she was pregnant 52:03 to 58:01 — Her cervix healed and doctors were stunned

Brody and Kendall are both multimillionaire entrepreneurs who coach thousands of people on relationships and business. This episode is what happens when two people who teach this for a living actually have to live it, blended family, two companies, and a calendar that has to hold it all.Key Discussion Points:- How dating a fellow entrepreneur kills loneliness- Why breadwinner women struggle to find love- The VIP day that became a relationship- Slowly integrating into a blended family- The calendar that runs two empiresFollow Kendall: https://www.instagram.com/kendallstrampel/Follow Brodie: https://www.instagram.com/brodiekern/Follow Joel: https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/Timestamps:00:00 – 01:40 What changes when you date a fellow entrepreneur01:40 – 04:24 Finally having someone who just gets it04:24 – 07:10 Letting go of the sole provider role07:10 – 09:14 Coaching 1,200 men, and his own two kids09:14 – 11:51 Why breadwinner women struggle to date11:51 – 14:06 The VIP day that started everything14:06 – 16:01 Inseparable within days, together a year and a half16:01 – 18:18 The hardest archetype to date in18:18 – 20:59 The masculine feminine pendulum20:59 – 24:00 Letting her be what she needs, without making it weird24:00 – 26:24 The volcano and the grounded one26:24 – 28:56 What it actually took to attract this28:56 – 33:15 Meeting his kids, and choosing to want more33:15 – 37:21 The slow, deliberate build into a blended family37:21 – 39:46 The shared calendar behind two businesses and two kids39:46 – 43:23 What becomes possible in a truly great relationship43:23 – 49:26 Business as personal development

Andrew hired Steph as his men's relationship coach. Six months of friendship later, they started dating and never looked back, until they broke up completely during the hardest year of her life. This episode is a real look at what security actually costs, and what it takes to rebuild it.Key Discussion Points:- How hiring a coach became a relationship- The health crisis that changed everything- Why they broke up to come back stronger- Talking to men honestly about sex- What real security looks like day to dayFollow Stephanie: https://www.instagram.com/stephanieganowski/Follow Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/peluso.andrew/Follow Joel: https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/Timestamps :00:00 – 02:22 Dating a sex coach, never bothered by it02:22 – 05:17 Why other men mocked her career, he didn't05:17 – 09:10 Family, and losing his mom early on09:10 – 12:11 How they actually met: he hired her12:11 – 14:30 The books and conversations that rebuilt him14:30 – 19:15 The apology nobody else remembered19:15 – 24:23 A hard conversation is like an orgasm24:23 – 27:59 What men actually need to ask in bed27:59 – 32:11 Where real security comes from32:11 – 35:13 Her body broke down, so did they35:13 – 38:19 The breakup, and the program that changed her38:19 – 41:24 I want him, I don't need him41:24 – 45:16 What men actually go through in dating45:16 – 49:36 Social media's gender war49:36 – 53:13 Play, jingles, and their dog Pico53:13 – 58:39 Home, the future, staying accountable

Courtney landed a Forbes feature, spoke at Cannes Lions, and had the best month of her business ever. All while pregnant. Her husband Lucas walked away from academic medicine the same year. This episode is proof that waiting to feel ready is the fastest way to waste your life.Key Discussion Points:Marriage as career leverageRefusing to wait until readyDelegating outside her top prioritiesThe chore war that changed thingsZero tolerance for kids as excusesWhy boring is actually the biggest complimentFollow Courtney:  https://www.instagram.com/courtlynnjohnson/Follow Lucas: https://www.instagram.com/lifeofflowpodcast/Follow Joel: https://www.instagram.com/joel_monteleone/Timestamps:00:00 – 01:55 The pregnancy that hit at her career peak01:55 – 04:26 Full send: never waiting to be ready04:26 – 08:13 20 percent capacity: pregnancy's priority filter08:13 – 09:48 A road trip, a surprise sonogram in Pensacola09:48 – 12:43 Pregnancy's psychedelic side, nobody warns you12:43 – 16:04 The moment it hit Lucas: becoming a dad16:04 – 20:48 Controversial take: coach your partner or not20:48 – 23:35 Why it's called Hotter Together23:35 – 27:43 She knew from his Hinge profile27:43 – 31:31 The book that started a chore war31:31 – 33:03 I make money for my baby33:03 – 34:50 Throwing up mid call, still showing up34:50 – 37:56 Blaming your kids for unlived dreams37:56 – 41:43 It's real when the relationship gets boring41:43 – 45:39 The tantra retreat that defined their roles