Fit Club for Dads

This week I’m sharing with you some of the massive changes coming to the podcast, and the way in which we serve the men in our community. We’re gearing up for an explosive and growth orientated 2023. Not just in terms of business, and the amount of men we aim to make a difference for, but also growth in ourselves. With each new level comes new challenges, and we’re excited to overcome the ones ahead of us next year! Are you?

One of the men who joined us for the most recent Unbreakable Man Retreat spoke about how he hated letting people down. He spoke about how he really took it to heart when someone gave him negative feedback. So much so that it was having a serious effect on his life and his mental health. Towards the end of the retreat the same man said he was going to commit to “Not giving a f&%k about what others thought of him”. Which got me thinking… If we want to create the best outcome for ourselves, should we care what other’s think? How should we deal with the opinion of others? Whether you struggle with this, or whether you don’t give a single crap about what anyone else thinks of you… This episode is for you.

I’m writing this after having just returned from the latest Unbreakable Man Retreat. As the name suggests the retreat as about becoming an Unbreakable Man, because the way I see it, if I can give men the confidence and skills they need to not give up on the things that matter the most to them then there’s nothing they won’t be able to build for themselves! Now the very first element of becoming Unbreakable is about doing the work required to find our purpose and direction in life. What do we actually want? Not just this week, month, or year, but for the foreseeable future? And what things must we accomplish to create that future for ourselves? If we don’t know where we’re going then anything and anyone can take control of our lives, because we don’t even know what the hell we should be doing with it! So we did a lot of writing, writing down the things that matter to us, and what we wanted our lives to look like. It turns out that this seemingly simple task is actually quite difficult. And it highlighted just how little clarity so many of the guys had about how they wanted their future to look. No wonder many of them felt stuck in their lives! But once they got into this exercise and with a lot of back forth between themselves, myself, and the leadership team every man experienced the confidence that came with feeling a little bit clearer about what they wanted and what they needed to do to get it. So my question to you is: If you're aiming to make some serious changes in your life, do YOU have written goals?

This one’s a bit controversial… Because it challenges the idea that a man must always self-sacrifice for his family. Excuses are some of the biggest killers of dreams. I’ve heard them all from so many men over the years. And the best excuses are always the ones that no one can argue against, because they’re often wrapped in good intentions. It’s becomes socially unacceptable to call someone out on this particular excuse, Because even insinuating that a parent may need to put their own needs before their family’s from time to time is seen as anti-social and wrong. The guilt trip many men (and no doubt women) feel as a result causes them to accept situations they’re unhappy with. And eventually this excuse becomes an easy way for a guy to give himself a pass on solving his own personal problems. Now before any of you blow your lid, I invite you to hear me out and listen to the episode. And then if you still think I’m a clueless idiot feel free to let me know in the comments!

One of the core values of Unbreakable Man (My new Men’s Coaching Brand) Is Camaraderie. It might be easy to think of fit, strong, and confident men is guys that don’t need any help, But nothing could be further from the truth. The men who are the most the successful across the widest range of key areas in life are men who surround themselves with other men who do the same thing. In order to become the fittest, strongest, and most confident man we can be we’re going to need solid advice, accountability, and genuine friendships with men on the same journey. I believe the quality and depth of connection in our masculine support networks is a crucial part of becoming the best men we can be. If you don’t believe me, or you want to know more about how you can create a network like this too, then listen to this episode!

I can recall several occasions over the last 4 years running my coaching business successfully But struggling to find the courage to “take the next step“ to grow it further. Every attempt I made felt half hearted, like I was trying to keep one foot in the door of the nice comfortable situation I had created for myself, Whilst simultaneously trying to get excited about the next stage, whatever that was at the time. I lacked certainty in taking that plunge and consequently when difficulty arose (as it always does with such things) I always went back to what I knew. Currently I’m in the middle of a big rebrand, and the biggest change to my business since its inception in 2018 And despite all the work that lies ahead, all the expense the various changes require, and all of the likely hiccups along the way… I’m not remotely deterred. I feel confident in this decision, and therefore I’m proactively making moves today to ensure this transition happens. The old me would have doubted himself and procrastinated as a result. But my certainty in the path I have chosen has given me the courage to take on this challenge! Today’s episode is about how you can use this to change the way your life looks too.

Last Sunday I competed in my latest Brazilian Jiu Jitsu comp. My third comp so far, and my second as a blue belt (with many more to come). If you’ve never been in a fight I can tell you it’s a nerve wracking experience, or at least it is for me. So much so that at my last comp my nerves completely destroyed my ability to perform my best. Have you ever had that experience? Where you fail to do as well as you know you can purely because you let your nerves get the better of you? And if you have experienced that before didn’t it annoy you that you got inside your own head, Losing the match or missing the mark on a project, not because it was outside of your current ability, but because you worried yourself sick about it? Confidence under pressure is an absolutely key skill to have if you want to be the best man you can be. If this is something you want to develop then this episode will be worth your time.

This is a topic that I feel very strongly about. Because I think that if we’re all really honest with ourselves the reason we don’t succeed is because we’re afraid. It takes a brave man just to admit that, let alone change it. Most of us make excuses about why we’re not where we want to be, or claim that we’re ok with where we are. I’ve certainly done both of those things before myself. But if truth be told there are absolutely things we would like to see change and improve in our lives. We may be able to feel comfortable with where we are, but for me personally it’s hard to escape the feeling that one day I’ll look back and regret not going for those things I really wanted, and there may not be any time left to change it. So this episode is all about silencing that inner coward, so that we can become the kind of man who does the work to make our lives the way we want them. It’s about ignoring the little voice in the back of our minds that encourages us to make, and/or fail to make, decisions based on our fear of rejection, failure, and loss. If you know this is something you do (even if you would never admit it) then you are the exact man this episode is for.

I was having a very interesting conversation over coffee with one of the men I coach earlier this week And he shared a great lesson with me about motivation, and how to create it. That’s CREATE IT. Not wait for it. Not look for it. But how to flip yourself from an unmotivated to a motivated state. Whilst I don’t believe motivation is absolutely necessary when it comes to getting things done. It is a lot easier to do the hard yards when you feel motivated. So today I want to share with you a strategy and a way of thinking about motivation to help you feel more of it in your life, So you can become a better man.

“An interesting title” I’m sure you’re thinking… “What is a gum nut?” “Do I even want to know…” might be your second thought haha To you I say grow up! A gumnut is the seed of a gum tree. And it has an interesting property that ensures that it only grows in the most fertile ground. In this episode I want to share the lesson the gum nut has to offer us as men. And how it’s growth journey is much like our own.