Fertility Cafe

What does a surrogacy journey look like when you and the parents cannot speak the same language? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is MaKayla, a mother of four who runs a small farm in Florida and carried a baby boy for international intended parents who did not speak English. Every conversation across the entire journey went through a translator. Her husband travels for work and was out of the country for much of it. She talked about surrogacy with her husband for years before a neighbor going through her own journey finally showed her what it actually looked like. This conversation covers a process that moved faster than she expected, including being matched with her intended parents before she had completed a single piece of screening. It covers learning her baby’s sex and name from his parents rather than a doctor, because she wanted it to be theirs to tell her, and the conversation she insisted on having through a translator when they told her they did not want to be in the delivery room. She talks about what she asked the nurse to do the moment he was born, cutting the cord herself, and the five months she spent pumping and donating milk afterward. She is now beginning a second journey, this time with someone she calls family. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear how to set expectations and protect yourself while still giving a family everything, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I would have done it for free just for that moment." -- MaKayla What You’ll Learn ● How a neighbor going through her own journey turned years of talk into a decision ● Why she took over her own injections, and the routine that made them painless ● What it meant to be matched with intended parents before screening had started ● How a translator shaped every conversation of the journey ● Why she deliberately set her expectations low, and what she counted as a bonus ● Why she did not want a doctor to be the one to tell her the baby’s sex Guest Bio MaKayla is a gestational surrogate and mother of four who lives on a small farm in Florida. She carried and delivered a baby boy for international intended parents, communicating with them through a translator for the length of the journey, and stays in touch with them today. She is now in the early steps of a second journey. She talks openly about how she set expectations and protected herself emotionally while still giving the family everything she had, because she believes women considering surrogacy deserve a realistic picture rather than a polished one. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand how to hold boundaries and expectations while carrying for someone else. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes U.S. Surrogacy for International Parents https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-93-u-s-surrogacy-for-international-parents/ When IPs Don’t Want a Relationship https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-75-when-ips-dont-want-a-relationship/ Surrogate Stories: Three Journeys, No Sugarcoating  Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to Mikayla and her family(00:01:01) - Her own pregnancies(00:02:11) - Deciding to become a surrogate(00:04:31) - Doing her own injections(00:05:41) - Choosing the agency and fast matching process(00:08:04) - Screening, psych evals, and clinic coordination(00:09:23) - The match call with international intended parents(00:10:35) - Husband's military travel and involvement(00:13:08) - Embryo transfer day(00:13:57) - The two week wait and early testing(00:15:41) - Ultrasounds and finding out the baby's gender(00:17:37) - How the pregnancy went and her kids' reactions(00:19:20) - Balancing the farm, family, and surrogacy appointments(00:21:48) - Staying organized and managing communication across language barriers(00:22:55) - Setting expectations for the relationship with parents(00:25:51) - Meeting the parents and the birth experience(00:28:19) - Delivery, cutting the cord, and meeting the baby(00:29:43) - Hospital discharge and the baby's big size(00:33:00) - Compensation and how it was used(00:34:35) - Deciding to become a surrogate again(00:35:51) - Hopes for the next journey with new intended mother(00:36:52) - Current status of the second journey(00:37:20) - Common misconceptions about surrogacy(00:38:18) - Advice for women considering surrogacy(00:39:39) - Reflections, regrets, and emotional closure(00:41:48) - Ongoing contact with the family and closing thoughts

A note for listeners: this episode includes frank discussion of pregnancy loss, a selective reduction, and the death of an infant. What does surrogacy look like across ten years, three journeys, and outcomes nobody plans for? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Jessica, a three-time gestational surrogate and mother of four whose first journey began about ten years ago, before much of the regulation that exists today. She was introduced to surrogacy through family, met her first intended parents within an hour of the first phone call, and said yes before she fully understood what she was agreeing to. This conversation covers a first journey that took five transfers, a pregnancy the clinic misread, a decision that was not hers to make, and a delivery she drove herself to while in labor. It covers what happened to that relationship afterward, and what she learned years later about that family. Her second journey was, in her words, the way a surrogacy journey should go. Her third brought her back into the industry through a job interview that turned out to be something else, an agency she walked away from, and twin girls born early in a hospital that did not yet have her paperwork. It also brought a loss she is still working through. Jessica does not tidy any of it up. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want the version nobody puts in a brochure, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I don’t sugarcoat things. It’s not who I am." -- Jessica What You’ll Learn How she was introduced to surrogacy and why the first yes came so fast What the process looked like a decade ago compared to today Why her first journey took five transfers to reach a pregnancy The pregnancy her clinic misidentified, and how it was eventually found What her contract said about the number of transfers she had agreed to How it felt to agree to something she did not want, and why she agreed Guest Bio Jessica is a three-time gestational surrogate and mother of four who began her first journey roughly ten years ago and has since carried for three different families across two countries. Her journeys have included repeated failed transfers, decisions she did not want to make, relationships that ended badly and relationships that lasted, and loss. She speaks about all of it without softening it, because she believes the sanitized version of surrogacy does prospective surrogates no favors. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what can go wrong, why the safeguards exist, and what she would do differently. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes When Third-Party Goes Wrong https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-45-when-third-party-goes-wrong/ The Dark Side of Surrogacy & Egg Donation https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-68-dark-side-of-surrogacy-egg-donation/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook ht... Chapters (00:00:00) - Intro: The Surrogate Series and Jessica's Story(00:01:09) - Jessica's Own Pregnancies(00:02:20) - How Jessica Became a Surrogate(00:05:15) - Family Reactions to Surrogacy(00:08:00) - First Journey: Meeting Intended Parents and Screening(00:09:52) - First Journey: Failed Transfers and Ectopic Scare(00:12:06) - First Journey: Retained Tissue and More Transfers(00:14:10) - Getting Pregnant With Triplets(00:16:28) - The Reduction Decision and Its Emotional Toll(00:20:19) - Autonomy, Compensation, and Surrogate Mindset(00:22:23) - First Journey Pregnancy and Boundaries With IPs(00:24:52) - First Journey Delivery and Aftermath(00:28:57) - Fallout and Disconnect After First Journey(00:30:36) - Deciding on a Second Journey(00:33:57) - Second Journey: Pregnancy and Delivery(00:36:00) - Staying in Touch and Tragic News(00:38:28) - Chance Encounter With First Intended Father(00:41:17) - Processing Guilt and the Boys' Future(00:43:40) - Considering a Third Journey and a Shady Agency(00:48:06) - Walking Away and Being Pulled Back In(00:51:36) - Setting Up the Third Journey Safely(00:54:10) - Canada Fertility Clinic and Lax Regulations(00:57:00) - Third Journey: Transfer and Twin Pregnancy(00:59:37) - Building a Close Relationship With Third Journey Parents(01:01:36) - Hardest Pregnancy: Twins at 40(01:04:13) - Early Delivery Due to Elevated Blood Pressure(01:08:54) - NICU, Parentage Paperwork, and Early Concerns(01:11:01) - Noticing Disconnect With Intended Parents(01:15:29) - Pumping Conflict and Shift in Relationship(01:17:28) - Parents Leave Early Against Advice(01:20:49) - The Devastating Phone Call(01:23:00) - Grief, Anger, and Blame(01:26:44) - Separating From the Intended Parents(01:28:54) - Final Reflections and Advice for Future Surrogates

What happens when agency after agency turns you down, and you keep going anyway? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Rachel, who delivered twins in 2015 after being matched three times and declined by several agencies before that. Her answers to the termination and selective reduction questions on the applications were the reason for the automatic denials, and it took another agency telling her so before she understood why. She and Eloise have known each other for more than a decade, and this conversation covers ground the two of them have been over privately for years. Rachel walks through the first match that ended in a miscarriage and a couple who could not afford to continue, the second that ended before it began, and the third, a local couple who had been trying for roughly eight years. She talks about the awkward first dinner, the beta number so high she asked how many were in there, the New Year’s Day bleed that turned out not to be what she feared, and a delivery where the placentas would not detach. Afterward: a doctor who told her he would never clear her to carry again, a two-week checkup where she insisted something was wrong and was told she was missing the babies, a hemorrhage on her husband’s birthday, and a hysterectomy a year later. She is also candid about the one thing she would change, which is not the journey but the contract. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear the whole arc, including the parts that come long after the babies go home, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I didn’t give the baby away. They weren’t mine." -- Rachel What You’ll Learn Why she was drawn to carrying for someone else before she had her own children Why several agencies declined her application automatically, and how she found out How she thinks about the termination and reduction clauses surrogates are asked to sign Why she preferred to carry for strangers rather than someone she knew What happened with her first two matches, and how close she came to quitting What repeating screening and psych evaluations three times over was like Guest Bio Rachel is a gestational surrogate and mother of two daughters who carried twins for a local couple through Family Inceptions, delivering in 2015 after two earlier matches ended without a baby. Her delivery and the months that followed brought complications that ultimately ended her ability to carry again. She talks about all of it openly, including what she would negotiate differently, because she wants women considering surrogacy to understand the full arc rather than only the delivery room. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand what can go wrong, what protections to ask for, and what the relationship can look like a decade later. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com @rachelraymondrealtor Related Episodes Self-Advocacy and Third-Party Reproduction: Your Voice Matters https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-84-self-advocacy-and-third-party-reproduction-your-voice-matters/ Surrogacy and Egg Donor Insurance: Complete Guide to Coverage and Protection https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-122-surrogacy-and-egg-donor-insurance-complete-guide-to-coverage/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? ... Chapters (00:00:01) - Introduction and Guest Background(00:01:01) - What First Sparked Interest in Surrogacy(00:02:25) - Application Denials and Selective Reduction Stance(00:03:48) - Deciding to Become a Surrogate(00:06:38) - Setting Boundaries on Termination(00:09:10) - First Two Failed Matches(00:11:17) - Meeting the Third Couple and Building Trust(00:17:20) - Screening, Psych Evals, and the Process(00:18:56) - Husband's Role Through the Process(00:20:30) - Medication Protocol and Embryo Transfer(00:24:03) - Positive Pregnancy Test and Scare(00:27:33) - Learning It Was Twins(00:28:51) - Pregnancy Experience Carrying Twins(00:32:18) - Relationship with Parents During Pregnancy(00:33:14) - Daughters' Reactions and Funny Public Moments(00:37:17) - Birth Story and Delivery Day(00:40:07) - Delivery Complications and Hemorrhaging(00:42:54) - Post-Birth Infection and Hospital Stay(00:46:49) - Staying Connected with Intended Parents After Birth(00:48:25) - Relationship with Twins as They Grow Up(00:50:30) - Normalizing Surrogacy for Kids(00:53:04) - Reflecting on Emotional Experience and Family Joy(00:55:59) - Long-Term Health Issues and Hysterectomy Decision(00:57:24) - Contract Gaps and Compensation Issues(01:02:54) - Comparing Experiences and How Surrogacy Has Evolved(01:05:20) - Regrets and Gratitude Looking Back(01:08:30) - Misconceptions About Surrogacy(01:11:07) - Advice for Women Considering Surrogacy(01:13:45) - Praise for Family Inception Agency Support(01:17:20) - Value of Working Through an Agency(01:19:58) - Closing Thoughts and Sign-Off

What if the thing that decided your agency was not the compensation or the process, but who got to do the choosing? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Sydni, a single mom of two girls and a daycare center director in Alabama. The idea came to her during a fasting season at her church, when she went in asking what more she was supposed to be doing with her life. She sat with it for three days, then started researching, filling a notebook with every question she could think of before she ever spoke to an agency. This conversation covers what she found when she called around. The agencies near her told her that her profile would go out and someone would let her know when a couple picked her, and that did not sit right with her. She wanted to be part of that decision. She also noticed which questionnaires got an instant reply and which one took a few days and came back personalized. Sydni talks about the second profile she opened, the letter inside it that brought her to tears, and a first transfer that worked. Then the birth: a March snowstorm in Alabama, tornado warnings where her intended parents live, an intended mother with thirteen backup travel plans, and Sydni sitting in triage taking pictures and joking around at five centimeters dilated. Only one person was allowed in the operating room, and she gave that spot to the baby’s mother instead of her own sister. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what to ask an agency before you commit to one, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "There is not a compensation that can cover what you are putting your body through." -- Sydni What You’ll Learn ● How the idea first came to her, and why she waited three days before saying yes ● What her thirteen-year-old already knew about surrogacy, and where she learned it ● How she explained it to a five-year-old, who became her loudest supporter ● The question she asked every agency, and the answer that ruled several out ● What a fast questionnaire response told her, and what a slow one told her ● Why she chose an agency rather than going independent Guest Bio Sydni is a gestational surrogate, a single mother of two daughters, and a daycare center director in Alabama. She carried and delivered a baby for intended parents she chose herself after reading their letter of intent, and the two families remain close. She is candid about what surrogacy asked of her as a working single parent, about what she looked for in an agency before she trusted one, and about the additional considerations she weighed as a Black woman choosing to carry a pregnancy for someone else. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to know what to look for, and what to ask, before choosing who to do it with. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-88-what-to-look-for-in-a-surrogacy-egg-donation-agency/ Eggs Over Easy: Black Women & Fertility https://t... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to Sydney and the series(00:00:41) - Sydney's own pregnancies(00:01:33) - Hearing the call to surrogacy(00:03:27) - Sharing the decision with family(00:05:28) - Researching and preparing before committing(00:06:22) - Telling her daughters about surrogacy(00:08:48) - Balancing work and surrogacy(00:10:40) - Finding and connecting with intended parents(00:13:15) - Choosing an agency over going independent(00:15:05) - Why Family Inceptions stood out(00:17:56) - Qualifying and the screening process(00:19:31) - Contracts, medical clearance, and building trust(00:21:41) - Transfer day(00:23:25) - The two week wait and early testing(00:25:53) - Relationship with intended parents during pregnancy(00:28:33) - Support system during the pregnancy(00:29:29) - The birth story(00:34:46) - Delivery day and meeting the baby(00:36:57) - Recovery after C-section(00:38:23) - Postpartum emotions and body changes(00:39:37) - Ongoing relationship with intended parents(00:41:22) - Experience with Family Inceptions as an agency(00:42:59) - Comparing agencies and feeling valued(00:45:53) - Being a Black woman navigating surrogacy(00:49:21) - Addressing assumptions about compensation(00:50:38) - Closing thoughts and gratitude

What happens when what a surrogate wants for a birth and what the intended parents need are not the same thing? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Gabby. She and her wife have been together seventeen years and have two sons, one carried by each of them. When they decided their own family was complete, they set a calendar reminder for a year out to be sure, and when it went off they both said the same thing. Gabby went on to carry for two intended mothers in another state, and got pregnant on the first attempt. This conversation covers a match call that felt like first date jitters and ended with both couples saying yes before anyone hung up. It covers the contract clause Gabby questioned and then accepted once she understood the fear behind it, the twenty-week scare where her wife told her plainly that this was not her baby to make decisions about, and the hardest disagreement of the journey: Gabby wanted an unmedicated birth, her OB recommended an induction that was not strictly necessary, and the intended mothers were desperate to control what could be controlled. She talks about how they worked through it, what happened in the delivery room that she did not expect, and the request the family made of her on Mother’s Day. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand what it really means to carry someone else’s child and someone else’s decisions, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I’m more proud of being a surrogate than anything else in my life." -- Gabby What You’ll Learn ● How she and her wife each carried one of their own sons before she became a surrogate ● The calendar reminder they set to decide whether their family was complete ● How knowing three surrogates from her high school class shaped her agency choice ● Why she wanted the screening process to be as thorough as it was ● What she was looking for in intended parents, and what she was not ● Why both sides said yes on the match call without sleeping on it Guest Bio Gabby is a gestational surrogate, wife, and mother of two sons, one of whom she carried and one carried by her wife. She delivered a baby girl for two intended mothers in another state and is now the child’s godmother. She talks openly about the sacrifices a surrogacy journey asks of a whole family and about the moments where she had to set aside what she wanted, because she believes the honest version of this does more good than the version people see in the news. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand the decisions, the compromises, and the relationships that a journey actually involves. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes Body Autonomy For Surrogates and Egg Donors https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-43-body-autonomy-for-surrogates-and-egg-donors/ Bringing Equality to Reproduction https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-99-bringing-equality-to-reproduction Surrogate Stories: What Postpartum Feelis Like Without a Baby Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction and guest background(00:00:49) - Gabrielle's own pregnancies and journey to surrogacy(00:02:11) - Deciding to become a surrogate(00:04:43) - Choosing an agency and screening process(00:08:21) - What Gabby looked for in intended parents(00:09:28) - The match call and instant connection(00:13:07) - Medical screening and appointments before transfer(00:14:09) - Transfer day emotions(00:16:54) - The two week wait and positive test(00:18:47) - Celebrating milestones and parents' past loss(00:20:44) - Deciding what to share during pregnancy(00:21:30) - A scare and hospital visit(00:24:08) - Growing friendship with intended parents(00:25:25) - Navigating disagreements and compromises(00:27:01) - The induction decision and conflict(00:30:59) - Fears about induction and birth choices(00:32:58) - The birth and handing over the baby(00:35:42) - Postpartum recovery and ongoing relationship(00:37:19) - How her sons experienced the surrogacy(00:40:17) - Would she do it again(00:41:27) - Advice for future surrogates(00:43:12) - Addressing stigma and misconceptions about surrogacy(00:46:28) - Closing thoughts and thank you

What do you do when a surrogacy journey ends before it starts, and you decide to try again anyway? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Christina, a gestational surrogate and mother of two who came to surrogacy as a calling after foster care and adoption did not feel like the right path for her family. She expected her husband to need convincing. He said yes immediately. This conversation covers her first match, which ended after a chemical pregnancy, and how she processed grieving a loss that was not hers to grieve while talking herself out of blaming herself for it. It covers the phone call where she was crying to her agent about her doubts when the profile of her eventual intended parents landed on that agent’s desk. She talks about doing the extra legwork to help reserved intended parents feel included, choosing an epidural so she would not shut them out of their own child’s birth, and the postpartum surprise nobody warned her about: a body running on adrenaline for a newborn who was not there. She is now preparing for a fourth transfer, a sibling journey for the same family. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear how a journey can go sideways and still be worth it, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "Go in hopeful, but go in with hands wide open." -- Christina What You’ll Learn ● Why surrogacy became the path when foster care and adoption did not feel right ● How her husband responded, and why it surprised her ● Why shared beliefs were non-negotiable in a match, and how that narrowed the search ● What a chemical pregnancy looked like across three sets of beta results ● What it is like to grieve a loss that belongs to someone else ● How her first match ended, and what she wishes she had been prepared for Guest Bio Christina is a gestational surrogate and mother of two who first heard about surrogacy in 2020 and pursued it once her own family felt complete. Her first match ended after a chemical pregnancy. Her second, through Family Inceptions, ended with a healthy baby boy and a family she has stayed close to since. She is now preparing for a sibling journey for the same intended parents. She speaks openly about the losses, the recovery, and the mindset she leaned on, because she believes the stories that go well rarely get told. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account of a journey that included loss, a broken match, and a family built at the end of it. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes What Surrogacy Really Feels Like: A Candid Conversation https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/what-surrogacy-really-feels-like-a-candid-conversation/ Mental Health & Family Building with Lori Metz, LCSW https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-44-mental-health-family-building-with-lori-metz-lcsw Surrogate Series: Two Journeys, One family https://thefertilitycafe.com/podca... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to Christina's Surrogacy Story(00:01:01) - How Surrogacy First Came on the Radar(00:02:56) - Husband's Immediate Support and Family Calling(00:04:18) - Explaining Surrogacy to Her Kids(00:06:07) - Family and Friends' Reactions(00:08:00) - Why She Chose Surrogacy Over Foster Care or Adoption(00:09:23) - First Match and Unexpected Pregnancy Loss(00:13:21) - Processing Loss and Learning to Let Go of Control(00:15:47) - Finding the Second Match(00:17:42) - Building Connection with Intended Parents(00:23:48) - Navigating the Relationship Dynamics(00:28:44) - The Delivery and Birth Experience(00:30:42) - Impact on Her Own Children(00:31:58) - Physical and Emotional Recovery(00:36:35) - Addressing Feelings of Loss or Depression(00:41:16) - Responding to Criticism and Exploitation Concerns(00:44:32) - Experience Working with Family Inceptions(00:46:04) - Advice for Women Considering Surrogacy(00:48:19) - Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

What does a surrogacy journey actually look like from the surrogate’s side, including the parts nobody warns you about? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Ashley, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried both babies for the same family through Family Inceptions. Ashley walks through all of it: why she chose surrogacy, the agency that made her feel like a number, the couple who flew to Charleston just to have lunch with her, and the pregnancies that made her sicker than she has ever been in her life. This conversation covers what drew Ashley to surrogacy after her own family was complete, why she left one agency before finding the right one, what matching and screening actually involved, and how she got through hyperemesis in both pregnancies. She also talks about the things surrogates rarely say out loud: a panic attack on the operating table, postpartum depression that did not hit until six weeks out, and what going home to an empty house felt like when the family flew back to London. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account from someone who has done it twice, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "Surrogacy is not scary. Surrogacy is amazing." -- Ashley What You’ll Learn ● Why Ashley chose surrogacy after deciding she was done growing her own family ● What made her walk away from a large agency before her journey ever started ● What matching actually involved, from the intro video to the first video call ● What the screening process looked like and how much an advocate handles for you ● What hyperemesis was like in both pregnancies and what did not work to treat it ● Why she decided mid-C-section that she would do it all over again Guest Bio Ashley is a two-time gestational surrogate who carried both of her surrogate babies for the same intended parents through Family Inceptions. She lives in the Charleston area with her husband and their three children, works remotely full time, and remains close with the family she carried for. She speaks openly about the physical and emotional realities of surrogacy so that other women can make informed decisions before they begin. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a full, first-hand account from someone who has been through two journeys and stayed close with the family she helped build. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-becoming-a-surrogate/ How To Talk To Your Family, Friends & Employer About Becoming a Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-90-how-to-talk-to-your-family-friends-employer-about-becoming-a-surrogate/ Surrogate Stories: A loss, a Rematch, and a Fresh Start https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-a-loss-a-rematch-and-a-fresh-start/<... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to the Surrogate Series(00:01:11) - Meet Ashley: Two-Time Gestational Surrogate(00:02:41) - What Sparked the Decision to Become a Surrogate(00:05:20) - Convincing Herself and Choosing an Agency(00:07:58) - Telling Kids and Family's Reactions(00:12:03) - Employer Support and Deciding to Do It Again(00:15:29) - First Agency Experience vs Family Inceptions(00:17:19) - Screening Process and Paperwork(00:18:15) - Matching with Tom and Charlie(00:21:27) - Screening Details and Considering Independent Surrogacy(00:24:19) - Transfer Day and Bonding with Charlie(00:27:06) - The Two-Week Wait and Positive Test(00:28:39) - Severe Hyperemesis During Pregnancy(00:30:33) - Nesting Instincts During Second Pregnancy(00:31:43) - Public Comments and Reactions to Her Pregnant Belly(00:34:29) - C-Section Recovery Experience(00:37:22) - Panic Attack During Second C-Section(00:39:58) - Unexpected Early Delivery and Rush to Hospital(00:44:38) - Birth Plan Realities and Readiness to Deliver(00:45:59) - Postpartum Depression After the Final Journey(00:48:25) - Coping and Finding Purpose Again(00:51:54) - Compensation and How It Was Used(00:53:11) - Misconceptions About Surrogacy(00:54:54) - Reflections and Any Regrets(00:56:08) - Experience with Family Inceptions and Closing Thoughts

What does it take to stay in a surrogacy journey when almost none of it goes the way you pictured? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Taylor, a wife, a mom of two, and a gestational surrogate who has now matched with three different families. She wanted to be pregnant again without adding to her own family, so she went looking for an agency founded by a Black woman, typed exactly that into Google, and found Family Inceptions on the first try. This conversation covers all of it. Her first journey with international intended parents, the failed first transfer that became her first experience of loss, and the decision to go again with the same couple, which ended in a healthy baby and an intended father the hotel staff had to wake up to get him to the delivery room. Her second journey, which ended before it began when the transfer did not take and the couple could not continue. The rematch that followed, and the couple she is with now, close to her and her husband in age, who want a relationship that lasts. Taylor is also blunt about compensation, about what she says to women who tell her they would do it for the money, and about what it has meant to her to be a Black woman going through this process. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what it takes to keep going when a journey does not go to plan, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "It is the most challenging yet most rewarding experience I think you’ll ever have." -- Taylor What You’ll Learn ● Why she wanted to be pregnant again without adding to her own family ● Why she searched specifically for an agency founded by a Black woman ● How she explained surrogacy to a husband who did not know how it worked ● What her parents said, and what changed her mother’s mind in the delivery room ● What a failed first transfer felt like, and why she blamed herself at first ● Why she chose to go again with the same couple after the loss Guest Bio Taylor is a gestational surrogate, wife, and mother of two who applied to become a surrogate in 2020 at twenty-seven. She carried and delivered a baby for her first intended parents, navigated a loss and a rematch on her second journey, and is now beginning again with a couple she and her husband feel especially connected to. She shares her journeys publicly in part because she wants other Black women considering surrogacy to see that it can go well. Outside of surrogacy she is usually found with a crochet project in her hands. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account of what happens when a journey takes turns nobody planned for. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes The Nitty Gritty of Compensation in Third-Party Reproduction https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-77-nitty-gritty-of-compensation-in-3rd-party-reproduction/ A Spouse’s Perspective on His Wife Becoming a Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-12-a-spouses-perspective-on-his-wife-becoming-a-surrogate/ Surrogate Stories: She... Chapters (00:00:00) - Introduction to Taylor and the Surrogate Series(00:00:59) - Taylor's Own Pregnancy Experiences(00:03:52) - Discovering Surrogacy and Finding an Agency(00:06:03) - Talking It Over With Husband and Family(00:08:15) - Family and Work Reactions to Surrogacy(00:09:43) - State of Surrogacy Awareness and Regulation(00:11:50) - First Journey: International Parents and Early Miscarriage(00:14:13) - First Journey: Successful Delivery and Sweet Moments(00:17:23) - Recovery After the First Journey(00:20:35) - Kids' Reactions to the Surrogacy Process(00:22:22) - Second Journey: Setbacks and a New Match(00:25:50) - Building a Special Connection With New Intended Parents(00:27:55) - Choosing Intended Parents Across Journeys(00:35:38) - Addressing the Money Misconception(00:39:13) - Pushback on Surrogacy Bans and Misinformation(00:42:09) - Sharing Her Journey and Representation for Black Surrogates(00:48:03) - Advice for Women Considering Surrogacy(00:51:14) - Common Misconceptions and Funny Questions(00:53:47) - Where to Follow Taylor and Closing Thoughts

What does surrogacy look like when everything actually goes the way it should? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Amy, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried for two different families through Family Inceptions. Amy works in healthcare, where colleagues talked openly about infertility long before she ever considered surrogacy herself. She and her husband are foster parents. She has four children of her own. Both times she carried, she delivered a family their second child, which she describes as giving them a sibling as much as a baby. This conversation covers the years Amy spent thinking about surrogacy before she acted on it, the children’s book that made her intended mother feel the match was meant to be, and why she turned down matches where the connection was not there. She talks about two very different deliveries, one so fast the father did not make it and one long enough that everyone was in the room, and about the questions her healthcare coworkers asked most. She is also direct about the misconception that bothers her most: that a surrogate and her intended parents are in an employer and employee arrangement rather than a friendship. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear from someone whose two journeys went well and who is sad to be finished, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I became a surrogate because I’m a happy, healthy pregnant woman and I wanted to share that." -- Amy What You’ll Learn ● Why Amy thought about surrogacy for years before she pursued it ● How working in healthcare shaped what she understood about infertility ● Why she specifically wanted to carry for families who already had a child ● What her match calls felt like, and why she said no to some of them ● What the screening process asked her to think through before matching ● How she and her intended parents handled communication during both pregnancies Guest Bio Amy is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed both journeys through Family Inceptions, carrying a second child for each of two families. She works in healthcare, is a foster parent alongside her husband, and is a mother of four. She speaks about surrogacy openly and often, including with coworkers and her own teenagers, because she believes more women would consider it if they understood how the process actually works. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a clear-eyed account of what a well-matched, healthy journey looks like from start to finish. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Related Episodes Why I Chose to Become A Gestational Surrogate https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-89-why-i-chose-to-become-a-gestational-surrogate/ Surrogate Logistics: Travel, Timelines, and Support https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-112-surrogate-logistics-travel-timelines-and-support/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over... Chapters (00:00:33) - The Surrogate(00:01:00) - Surrogacy Is For Real(00:04:46) - The Surrogate's Journey(00:06:15) - Amy on Her Surrogacy Journey(00:07:51) - The Matching Process(00:10:07) - The Process of Surrogacy(00:11:37) - On The Intended Parents' Relationship During Their Pregnancies(00:12:43) - Surrogate's Message for Family(00:13:44) - What was it like at work? Surrogacy talk(00:15:12) - Surrogate Baby's Birth(00:18:31) - Surrogacy Is a Terrible Experience(00:20:44) - On Her Choice to Have a Baby Early(00:21:39) - What Makes a Surrogate So Special?(00:23:50) - What Do You Think Is The Biggest misconception about Surrogacy(00:28:48) - Surrogate's Journey Through Family Inceptions(00:29:48) - Amy Surrogate's Advice for Others

What changes when you carry for your best friend, and then do it again for a family you have never met? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Alyssa, a two-time gestational surrogate from small-town Iowa who did it two completely different ways. Her first journey was independent, for her best friend, a family that had already lost a child. Her second was through Family Inceptions, for intended parents on the other side of the country whom she met on a match call she compares to a blind date. This conversation covers how she raised it with her husband on the drive home from a date night, how she told two daughters at very different ages, and how she vetted agencies from Facebook groups before she ever picked up the phone. Alyssa is candid about the difference between doing everything yourself and having someone else handle it, about the beta test that made everyone think the pregnancy was over, and about the postpartum blood pressure scare that put her in an ambulance three days after delivery and eventually led to a hysterectomy she is still making peace with. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear both the independent route and the agency route from someone who has done each of them, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "These were never my babies. It was all their embryo." -- Alyssa What You’ll Learn How a friend’s family crisis turned surrogacy from an idea into a decision What it is like to carry independently versus through an agency, from someone who did both How she brought it up with her husband, and what he said the second time How she explained surrogacy to a preteen and to a curious seven-year-old How she vetted agencies from Iowa and why she chose one in Atlanta What a match call with total strangers actually feels like Guest Bio Alyssa is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed one independent journey for a close friend and one agency journey through Family Inceptions. She lives in a small town in Iowa with her husband and their two daughters. She talks openly about what surrogacy asked of her body and her family, including the postpartum complications that followed her second delivery, so that women considering it can decide with the full picture in front of them. This episode is for women who are weighing surrogacy and want an honest, first-hand account from someone who has carried for both a friend and a stranger and seen how differently the two can go. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Alyssa on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alyssamcnally22 Related Episodes Postpartum After Surrogacy https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-65-postpartum-after-surrogacy/ What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-88-what-to-look-for-in-a-surrogacy-egg-donation-agency/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team t... Chapters (00:00:00) - What Women Carry Second Time(00:00:52) - What Did You Know About Surrogacy(00:04:41) - How A Surrogacy Made Her Baby(00:07:06) - The Secret to Having a Surrogate Baby(00:13:07) - The Secret to Surrogacy(00:15:41) - The Surrogacy Match Call(00:18:39) - Surrogacy Surrogacy: The First Journey(00:23:23) - Tamara Surrogates on Being a surrogate(00:27:37) - Did Your Blood Pressure Rise During Your First Delivery?(00:33:24) - I Had A Hysterectomy After Having 4 Babies(00:37:09) - What Do You Think Is The Biggest misconception About Surrogacy(00:42:43) - What Do You Wish Women Know About Surrogacy?