Everyday NLP Bites

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt In this last podcast of Season 5 I look at comparisons. Comparisons, especially unclear ones, take us down a blind alley. Whether it is willing ourselves to do something ‘better’ or someone else telling us to - how do we know we have got there or measure our achievement ? The end result is often disappointment and blame. What would happen if we stopped doing this to ourselves or others ? By being claer what we are comparing with we can measure and celebrate success. In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Comparative Deletions – watch or listen to find out more ! “Winners compare their achievements with their goals.” Nido Qubein Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE  'Everyday NLP' Click HERE 

“ʺThey are all the same!ʺ Is the cruelest gallows humankind ever built.” ― Lamine Pearlheart, Author How often to we talk about groups of people with the implication that they are all the same and think the same ?  ‘They’ ‘The government’ ‘Management’ ‘ the Council’ or more vaguely still ‘some people’.  In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as an Unspecified Referential Index. They are commonplace ways of speaking ,but what’s the effect on the point we want to make, our credibility or even the impact on our own thinking? How more effective or happier might we be by being clear who we are referring to? Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE   'Everyday NLP' Click HERE

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin, Actor Being specific can be exhausting in conversation ….and yet without it there possibilities of misunderstanding are huge! What more could we learn if we asked more questions of others, or noticed when we aren’t being clear? In NLP Meta model these are referred to as Unspecified Verbs and Simple Deletions Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE  'Everyday NLP' Click HERE 

“Vague expression permits the hearer to imagine whatever suits him and what he already thinks in any case.” Theodor Adorno German sociologist, philosopher and musicologist In this podcast my focus is on ‘fat’ words – words which potentially contain different meanings to different people and as a result can lead to misunderstandings. They require us to ask more questions to really understand what some one is saying….and yet you have to notice them first. E.g. you might ask me what I mean by ‘misunderstandings’ !!! In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Nominalisations. Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE   'Everyday NLP' Click HERE 

“Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.” Richard Bach Spiritual Writer In this podcast I look our self-imposed rules, when we say we must or mustn’t  do something,  or that we can or can’t. Often we  say these things without considering if they are true……….and I wonder what would happen if we did question them ? And of course we also pass these 'rules' onto others too ! In the NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Modal Operators of Possibility or Necessity. Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE  'Everyday NLP' Click HERE 

“All generalizations are false, including this one.” Mark Twain In this week’s episode I look at the effect of generalizations where we use words like all, everyone, no one, always, never etc. In NLP Meta Model these are referred to as Universal Quantifiers. But what impact do they have on the point we may be making or indeed on ourselves and others ? Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE  'Everyday NLP' Click HERE  https://www.florencemadden.co.uk/IntentionImpactAmazon https://florencemadden.co.uk/EverydayNLPAmazon

“Science, like art, religion, commerce, warfare, and even sleep, is based on presuppositions.” — Gregory Bateson, anthropologist and social scientist This week’s language pattern is where what is said assumes something to be true without question, referred to in Meta Model as Presuppositions. Many of our assumptions are correct or beneficial …. but when they aren’t they can impair the choices we make or our relationships with others. On the other hand if we ask ourselves ‘Who says?’, we might just reconsider ! Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ?  My books are available on Amazon: 'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE   'Everyday NLP' Click HERE 

“People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.” Andy Rooney Writer and Humorist This week’s language pattern is when we reach a conclusion that does not necessarily follow from the facts, but fits with the narrative in our head. This is referred to in Meta Model as a Complex Equivalence. What if we reconsidered and asked ourselves ‘How do these facts mean what we suppose – could there be another conclusion?’ Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon: 'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE 'Everyday NLP' Click HERE

"If you own this story you get to write the ending." – Brené Brown This week’s language pattern is when we blame other people or situations for how we feel or what happens to us.  In NLP Meta Model this is called  Cause and Effect. When we make other people responsible we abdicate our own responsibility and hence control. Does it have to be this way? Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ?  My books are available on Amazon: 'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE  'Everyday NLP' Click HERE

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.” ― Isaac Asimov! This week’s language pattern is when opinions are expressed as if they are a fact.  Referred to in the Meta Model as a ‘Lost Performative’ i.e. what is lost is whose opinion is being expressed.  We are surrounded by other people….and ourselves of course, expressing an opinion without owning it or acknowledging even, that it is ONLY an opinion ! How much more authentic and persuasive could we be if we did ? Want to find out more about personal effectiveness and NLP ? My books are available on Amazon:  'The Intention Impact Conundrum' Click HERE  'Everyday NLP' Click HERE