Every Number One Ever

This week the halls of ENOE towers are stuffed to bursting with record breakers, awful Christmas songs featuring MCs, mid 00s dance tunes (I shan't use the word "banger" here), 50s schlock, and perhaps even a Beatles number. At least its eclectic I suppose? You'd get bored if they were all good ones.

Dear listener, this episode will leave you gagged and appalled at Craig's confession of wrongdoing and duplicity! We can only apologise to Mr Scrivens for the hurt and emotional trauma such an admission of guilt might bring to the fore. We would like it known that the behaviour of Mr Lowe does not reflect on the law-abiding nature of ENOE productions. Plus, sharp beards, a holiday song, and a little bit of hepatitis.

This episode arrived late into your feeds. Guess why? Yes dear listener, thats right. I fell asleep. At one point my hammy hands rested on my keyboard and typed "lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" for seven pages. But what you can do eh? Better late than never. Once you've heard it you may have wished I'd have slept for longer.

I should say that, whilst this is a lovely bit of nonsense from us this week, it is also perhaps a little... blue? Not the boy band. Its all a little risqué so be warned. Also, are those the mellifluous tones of Ainsley we hear? And will our sticky friend return? 

You might get whiplash from the bizarre switchback turns we have to make in this pod. It couldn't be more all over the place! Also, Matt brings an offensive weapon to the office, Liam channels the spirit of Mae West and we find out that Craig doesn't like 'em long. Wuss.

Ouch! This week we're faced with "a load of modern ones" - thats the luck of the draw I guess. Will we bash them to death as you'd expect? Or are we slightly more nuanced? You tell me. Plus, there's a spider.

There was a lot of talk about willies, crotch framing, and other nethers stuff this week. Not our finest our as far as decorum is concerned. But we do learn some facts and chat some nonsense as per usual, and Craig fails to say names.

Its a good job that this week is the week that includes Halloween, because you wouldn't actually believe that this episode went down the way it did. It was bizarre! And there is frankly nothing I can do by way of explanation to mediate expectations or otherwise prepare you for whats about to go down. Good luck.

Today we've been given a ticket to visit the smoking room at the houses of parliament (not capitalised, they don't deserve it), we learn about dynamo and do some mild character assassination, and we all feel better knowing what to do and not to do with your ex. Enjoy!

The level of chaos is somewhat higher than usual in this episode. No idea why. Maybe it was a full moon? Or maybe now that we're two thirds of the way through we've all gone a bit demob happy. Anyway, this is the episode where we take Ariana to task about some of her 'image' choices, we get a list song, AND Liam shares the dullest fact known to man.