Daughters Who Dare

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.When I began this podcast journey, I thought I had already earned an Honorary PhD in Narcissists. (haha) I have always been interested in learning, understanding and - on a deeper level - soul searching.But, I have had so many lightbulb moments over the past three years. Guess what? I’m still learning. Things have changed. Life has changed. I have changed.It was as if I had shared pieces of my story jigsaw throughout my life and then - this podcast - enabled me to set up a rather large, invisible table, collect all of those pieces and assemble them to create my very own, personalised jigsaw. What did I see? Who did I see?All will be revealed.

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.Have you heard of the game ‘Never Have I Ever’? I have watched others play it. It tends to become an opportunity to unleash secrets or an open mic confessional booth. Yes. People could opt out, lie or not join in the first place. No one can force you to release your closeted skeletons.In this episode, I created my own version. I discuss - very honestly and openly - the parenting choices I made (and make) in spite of the ways I was parented. If you’re not a parent…that’s okay…as there is still a lot to learn.Even though I was told and taught otherwise, I have always believed that it was possible for me to be a parent…a good parent.Perfect parent I am not.Proud parent I am

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.As children raised by narcissists, we are in survival mode for the long haul…basically for a lifetime. Along the way, we encounter many individuals with many opinions on how we should deal with narcissists, how we could manage them and how they would cope if in our shoes.I have listened to many shoulds, coulds and woulds. They are allowed to have their opinions. God knows I have my own. However, when they decide to add a cliché or two into their advice or words of wisdom, I could scream.It’s the reason that I named this episode, “It Makes You What?.” Can you guess the cliché? Tune in to find out if you were right.

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.Most days, I don’t think about my multiple narcissistic parents AT ALL. That may be difficult to believe, but it’s true. I said most days for a reason. Every now and again, it’s ALL that I can think about.What causes those ‘every now and agains,’ you ask? Well…in this episode I tell you about those causes, how I learned to deal with them and, most importantly, live with them.Unfortunately for me, when these ‘every now and agains’ happen, I am not alone. I am joined by several demons and to this I say, “Welcome to the demon reunion.”The triggers are real. The trauma responses are real. But, choosing humour and choosing to describe these events as demon reunions helps me to explain just how crazy it can feel sometimes. 

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.Everyone has feelings.That may sound like a simple, obvious fact. But, the older I get, the more I realise just how complicated that statement truly is.Everyone does have feelings and we often try to simplify them. In a Sunday School lesson, many years ago, I used paper plates to represent four of them…happy, sad, angry and surprised. If I had to teach that lesson today, I would run out of paper plates, my pens would run out of ink and the lesson would last for days.As children raised by narcissists, feelings can be overwhelming for many reasons. We have to learn how to carry them, hold them and sit with them - all of them - on our own. So often, the feelings get so heavy…too heavy.In this episode, I encourage all of us to reach out and ask someone to sit with us and to sit with all of our feelings. It’s so important to remember that we are not alone. 

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.I’m being honest when I say I had many dreams of running away, planning my escape and even being adopted. For the first 21 years of my life, I wanted to be anywhere but home…my very own Alcatraz. Some of you may be thinking, “Why run away? Why escape or imagine being adopted?” My answer is simple. Survival was my only option. How sad is that? No child should have to go through life wishing for a Plan B. I wanted out, but I didn’t have options…or so I thought.In this episode, I ask you to imagine 13 year old me hypothetically going through the daunting process of ‘divorcing my parents,’ which is known as emancipation in the USA.What if? I’m American. Could that have been a choice for me as a minor?Tune in to hear what emancipation entails and what my chances would have/could have been.I may not have legally divorced my parents but I have successfully escaped my own narcissistic Alcatraz! I’m free!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.In this episode, I want to talk about TRUST. To many listeners, that five letter word - TRUST - may sound like a swear word. I get it. With our experiences…with our trauma…with our narcissistic parents…why would we EVER want to trust someone?Well, I am here to say, “Let them in. Dare to let people in. Dare to trust. Dare to trust me.” I know how incredibly hard that is, especially since those individuals you were told to trust and taught to trust betrayed you, hurt you, traumatised you, rejected you, controlled you and the list goes on and on.Trusting others can lead to rejection. I know that all too well. However, in most cases, it results in healthy, loving relationships, with people who become your chosen family. You deserve to be happy and to be loved. Push past the fear and let them in. Trust me.

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.Coming home, after an annual visit to my birth family, USED to be an exercise in healing and rebuilding. My husband and a handful of friends (those in the know) would reach for the mop and bucket, along with the glue. Each year they would willingly mop up all of my tears and help me gather the broken pieces of my heart, patiently supporting me as I put myself back together. But, the most recent homecoming, around one month ago, was different. Although it was the second time that I had visited the USA without seeing my birth family, this return became an epiphany moment for me. It’s as if - when those plane wheels touched down on the runway - my heart cracked wide open and I could see just how much gratitude I was holding inside.Since then, I have been sitting in that gratitude. I no longer sit in a puddle of tears and a pile of broken pieces. Long may it last!Let’s just say (or shout!), “I threw the mop away!”

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.One lesson I learned…very early on…was that Life doesn’t stop just because you have some figuring out to do. Being raised by narcissists can be compared to living with grief. Life doesn’t stop for that either.Whether living with narcissists or living with grief, you never get over it, it’s not a competition with others experiencing it, there are no rewards for surviving it and no two experiences are the same.But, what if you are sailing several ships through several shit storms at the same time? You can only sail one ship at a time, right? Well, that may be true on open waters! I can’t say the same for dealing with multiple narcissistic parents.Fortunately, for younger generations, there is a global community, terminology, definitions and loads of information. No one needs to sail alone anymore…even those of us sailing several ships simultaneously…in shark infested waters.That gives me such hope!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.As a child raised by narcissists, it is far too easy to remember the difficult stuff. There are good times. There are happy memories. But…connecting that happiness to those who inflicted so much pain can be very confusing for the mind and heart!Why should I credit any of my narcissistic parents with my happiness? Gratitude feels wrong and uncomfortable. I mean…imagine praising your kidnapper. Wrong! I can’t deny the happiness, but it can make the hurt sting even more. It isn’t surprising to say that love looks strange when offered by a narcissistic parent. The love is conditional…so any happiness is tarnished with any or all of those conditions. There was happiness. I can’t erase that.But, was it genuine? Was I really happy?