CAOS

In this video and podcast, Alan discusses how reference to the 'bystander effect' doesn't apply to bullying allegations because bullying is a subjective experience, seen by 'bystanders' in different ways, without necessarily seeing a clear 'perpetrator/victim' interaction, unlike for the usual application of the idea for crimes and other more clearly distinguished situations.  While many do not see bullying as subjective, particularly if they feel they have been a victim of it, it is unlikely that all 'bystanders' will agree or perhaps even notice, unlike for a more clearly noticeable event like a crime or murder in which the Bystander Effect was originally identified. The damaging outcome of applying such an idea can also mean people who feel bullied then feel betrayed by those nearby and thus more isolated when it is an unrealistic expectation to have in the first place that all present will notice such events happening, and further still, interpret them in the same way. This is the article Alan is referring to in the video: https://theconversation.com/bullying-why-most-people-do-nothing-when-they-witness-it-and-how-to-take-action-181746 This is the YouTube video of the original podcast.  Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

In this video and podcast Alan comments on the prevalence of many support services that are described as 'client-led' or 'person-centred' but in practice are not.  Often the priority focus is on fulfilling system outcome targets or practitioner agendas or both and the client's experience of the process is secondary. One of the ways this is de-prioritised is in the approaches to measurement of the 'success' or effectiveness of the service which will often also be system or practitioner defined and decided 'for' the client or 'about' them and their qualitative experience of the process is not considered. Alan outlines in the video the many ways in which this important distinction shows up. To watch the YouTube video of this podcast visit this link: https://youtu.be/ycxGMpyJ4RU Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

In this podcast I am joined again by Melloney Guiver, The HR Lawyer, to discuss psychological safety at work, in particular the many crossovers between the 'ethos' of some approaches to mediation and the themes and intentions of promoting psychological safety at work, as particularly highlighted by the work of Amy Edmondson and Timothy Clarke. If you'd like to watch the YouTube video of this podcast please go to this link: https://youtu.be/TgXOWdvIJkk Chapter headings as follows:  00:00 Introductions to mediators and establishment of topics for discussion within the theme of Psychological Safety at Work   07:30 Themes for discussion: Where some models of mediation and the ethos of psychological safety 'meet'; Diversity and Inclusion - how mediation practices and a psychologically 'safe' experience of workplaces can support useful discussions in these areas; The link between effective health and safety support and whether. the approach is 'parent-child' or 'adult-adult'. 09:05 Where mediation and psychological safety 'meet' 28:40 Health and Safety and Welfare at Work - policies, implementation. Relevance to Psychological Safety at Work. 42:40 Diversity and Inclusion - how mediation practices and a psychologically 'safe' experience of workplaces can support useful discussions in these areas. 54:15 On to a broader discussion about various aspects relating to the 3 main themes. 01:00:35 The delusion that a manager or leader should have the skills and capacities to 'give' or 'deliver' psychological safety 'to' staff and how that 'parent-child' expectation means such beliefs will inhibit its development in a workplace. 01:21:30 Review of topics and end... Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music:  All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200 Song: Gently, Onwards Artist ELPHNT : Album: Gently, Onwards : Licensed to YouTube by: YouTube Audio Library

WHAT IS EFFECTIVE ACTIVE LISTENING?  How to practise effective active listening.  This podcast explores the importance and application of EAL in 3 main areas:  1. Effective Active Listening for supporting conflict resolution  2. Effective Active Listening for supporting people with mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and other challenges  3. The relevance of Effective Active Listening for Psychological Safety at Work - how interactions that support and promote psychological safety at work can include an awareness of what constituted effective active listening. The video of this podcast has some visual annotations so if you would like to watch it on youtube this is the link: https://youtu.be/gij5VlRPq80 Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict.  Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Why psychological safety requires an ‘adult-adult’ approach and not ‘parent-child’.   In this video and podcast, Alan discusses the risks to an environment of psychological safety at work when the approach taken is a 'parent-child' one. He outlines features of commentaries that he has come across that can imply people at work start with a 'blank slate', having no real conception or awareness of their own capacity for developing their own psychological safety at work.  But people will always bring their own awareness and capacities for this whether they label it as psychological safety or not and so to use an approach that can suggest it has to be 'created for' employees and team members rather than for them to develop and grow it for themselves, together, as peers is akin to a 'parent-child' approach rather than an 'adult-adult' one.    Alan looks at two ways in which he has seen this and characterises them as 'the blank slate' idea and the  'It's organic, not linear' critique.  This is the link to the video interview referred to at 4:15 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O-CbvTfcqk  Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.  He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Listening Skills to Support People with Mental Health Challenges. Are You Witnessing or Assessing?   In this video and podcast Alan talks about the distinction between listening to people who feel vulnerable in order to 'witness' their personal difficulties, possibly mental health challenges, and listening in order to 'assess' them for some further action such as signposting, diagnosing or prescribing.    Both types of listening are important but it's also important for the person being listened to, to understand which they are to experience. There is sometimes a risk that being listened to in order to be 'assessed' can lead people to feel they are losing control of their situation and they are being 'told' or directed to do something as a consequence of their difficulty, and sensitivity to this possibility is important.    Listening as 'witnessing' is providing a respectful 'space' in which they can share their sense of vulnerability or despair or worries without any risk of it being 'taken over' but simply with the intention of giving that person a chance to 'be with themselves' and their difficulties with the support of someone being with them, alongside them but not intervening in any way.   Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.  He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS Outro Music:  Gently onwards, youtube free music library

How Mediation Skills Promote Psychological Safety at Work – Personal Challenges for Leaders   In this video and podcast Alan outlines two main characterisations of 'psychological safety' by pioneers in the field - Amy Edmondson and Timothy Clark. He then goes on to outline how the mediation skills and practices and 'ethos' would seem to be strongly aligned with optimising the possibilities for psychological safety, even if a 'leader' and team members will not be present as mediators.   Mediation is a process that promotes effective communication and creativity in response to a conflict and while not all teams will have relationship breakdowns in the way that most situations that involve mediation will, the essence of psychological safety would seem to point to the same aim.  If you'd like to watch the YouTube video of this podcast please visit this link: https://youtu.be/_pFXA-xpR28  Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.  He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Exploring the 3 ways to Create Psychological Safety at Work – the Role of the Leader   This video and podcast is another in the journey of exploring the concept and implementation of supporting 'psychological safety at work'.  I have based the exploration on Amy Edmondson's description of the 3 main ways in which this can be possible in organisations if leaders can carry through those 3 aspects.   The more I explore the concept of psychological safety at work and the foundations for it being possible that are put forward by Professor Amy Edmondson and others, the more I see many similarities to the underlying thinking and communication practices of mediators and conflict coaches and to the CAOS models of mediation and conflict coaching which are processes designed to support more effective communication and  creativity in response to conflict.    Chapters: 01:10 The content and focus of the video/podcast  02:25 Professor Edmondson's characterisation of Psychological Safety, then moving into the 3 ways that she says leaders can 'create' psychological safety at work  03:50 Introduction to the 3 ways starting with: 1. Frame the work as a learning problem not an execution problem  08:26    2. Acknowledge your own fallibility  10:07.   3. Modelling curiosity - how mediation and conflict coaching practices strongly align with the means by which this is achieved.  12:24  Review of the 3 ways and issues and questions that arise in relation to the actual carrying through and development of them 'in reality'. The language used, such as, can a leader 'create' a feeling of safety for others and what does that capacity imply - a level of dependency that might in itself be 'unsafe'?  17:48 The importance of understanding what are effective questions that support an atmosphere of curiosity and open and 'psychologically safe' discussion. How this links to way no. 1 of 'framing work as a learning problem'.   21:05 What is the 'reality' of Psychological Safety at Work being created? 23:25 Some questions and 'loose ends' to finish off with. Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes and organisational conflict, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.  He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict.  Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Psychological Safety at Work sounds a GREAT idea!  BUT! Some Questions for Amy Edmondson + others...   Psychological Safety at Work is a concept developed by Amy Edmondson Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School. Many of the practices that she says will support the development of a sense of Psychological Safety at work are reflected in mediation skills practices, which is not surprising given that some of the ways Professor Edmondson characterises the concept is 'permission for candour', accepting mistakes or even failure in teams, acknowledging our own fallibility, framing work as a learning problem rather than an execution problem. All of these characterisations resemble the purpose of mediation as a process that supports creativity in response to conflict, seeing it as an opportunity for learning, change and growth.    BUT, in this video and podcast, Alan shares some questions about the 'reality' of being able to create or support psychological safety at work. In much that is said about this concept there remains little about the actual practices and behaviours that leaders and teams and organisations use to introduce it. This risks the possibility that it remains a 'great idea' but does not prove practical to implement without clarity about what these behaviours need to be and why.    There also seems to be a lot of emphasis on 'leaders creating' psychological safety but little about how others also need to be involved in this, and recognition of policies that limit the wider possibilities across an organisation for psychological safety to become part of its culture.    Here is the link to the video on youtube from which this podcast is taken: https://youtu.be/FkWNh8i6oZQ Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland  Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html  Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html  Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com  Books and ebooks:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316  A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221  CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Mediator/Conflict Coach: How to resolve disputes with neighbours: Podcast 3: It’s long term and entrenched In this video and podcast Alan goes through the typical kind of experiences and 'journey' that someone who has a dispute with their neighbour may follow based on his experiences of working in neighbour mediation for over 15yrs of his time as a Mediator and Conflict Coach in London in the UK. This is the third of 3 videos and podcasts on the topic, designed to address the considerations and challenges that can arise at different stages of the 'life' of a neighbour dispute: Video/Podcast 1: The early stages - this looks at the considerations and experiences people may have at the first/earliest instances of a problem arising.  Link to YouTube video of this: https://youtu.be/uhnJpv3KFMc Video/Podcast 2: It's now a complaint - this video looks at the kinds of issues to consider once the dispute has been formalised into some form of official complaint  - link to the YouTube video of this: https://youtu.be/fDZZ8nFnnrM Video 3/Podcast: It's long term and entrenched - this video looks at the kinds of experiences people may have when a dispute with neighbours has become long term, perhaps 2-3 years or more, even as long as 10 years and the ways in which people may respond and resort to legal processes, or experience or carry out violence or abuse as a result of the stress and frustration - link to the YouTube video of this:  https://youtu.be/utBca020pHg Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com Books and ebooks: The Simple Effective Skills of Conflict Resolution e-book https://www.communicationandconflict.com/conflict_resolution_skills.html How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro. Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200