Boozer & The Brain

Kon’nichiwa, min’na! Welcome once again to the wonders of Japan; specifically, the wonders of that cosy, feathered little nest we call Hitachino. Today we’re going to be sampling the magnificently-named delights of DaiDai and Anbai, a couple of fruited beers of varying style from these cheeky sake brewing masters (who also quite enjoy brewing delicious beer from time to time when the mood strikes). That’s about all there is to say on that, to be honest, but now it falls upon me to finish with some form of utterly terrible joke… ummm… oh, crap, I’m drawing a blank. Better create a diversion so I can make my escape. Beermander, Drinkachu, I choose you!

Oh. My. God. Yes, people. This is not a drill. It’s happening. It’s… ANOTHER TRAPPIST EPISODE! Aaaaaaaahhh! It’s time for us to delve deeply, delectably, and definitely not at all suggestively into the alluring line-up of Chimay Pères Trappistes - the brewing arm of Scourmont Abbey - as we taste three of their core range, taking in the Dorée/Gold, the 150, and the Red. It’s Trappist beer, you know the drill by now: brace yourselves for some hardcore dribbling, borderline toadying and not-at-all unwarranted apotheosis. Bless you, my children, and praise be to Dionysos for the gift of Trappist ale! Drink, then, wherever you may be, for I am the Lord of the beer, said he…

Goodness me, we’re on a new brewery roll! What’s that? ANOTHER one?! Well, aren’t you lot spoiled, huh?! Today we’ll be enjoying a couple of beers by Left Handed Giant Brewing! Not only that - we’ve only gone and got hold of a couple of their 7th birthday beers! Why yes, thank you, a pat on the back would be lovely. So please do listen to us professionally* review This is the Way Belgian Pale and We Celebrate Dark Ruby Mild - to be clear, yes, that is the beer’s name. Yes? Oh, you were expecting this to finish with a joke? Um… your face? Does that count…? *not at all professionally - Ed.

How many? 71?! Oh, my… ah. Wait. That’s the name of the brewery. Two actual beers. Ok then. Thank God. So anyway, welcome everyone to another brand new brewery episode! Woohoo! We’re really cranking those out at the moment; well done us. In this episode we’ll be hoping not to hit a sour note with two beers from 71 Brewing’s Fruition series: Blackcurrant Apple Crumble and Rhubarb Punch. They sound pretty delish, right? You’d better tune in then. Go on. I won’t tell anyone. Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die, terrapin stickle me if I lie. And if you got that reference, then… well, there’s no actual prize, per se, but we love you very much. That’s the REAL prize. Hey, how dare you call us cheapskates…!

Into the wild blue Yonder we go! It’s a new brewery episode - hooray! - and what’s more, both of the beers are collabs - hooray! From Somerset’s own Yonder Brewing we present to you Tropical Gose (with show favourites New Bristol) and Ritual Union (with aptly-named coffee grindery, Girls Who Grind Coffee). Right, that’s all the pertinent information out of the way, you’ll be expecting me to finish with a joke, so excuse me for just a moment while I think of a really good one… *hurried fading footsteps*... *slamming door*... *car engine starting*... *tyres screeching*... *aeroplane taking off*... *dial tone*...

I’ll give you three clues to guess today’s brewery: 1. Sussex. 2. Small. 3. Batch. Oh, bugger, I’ve given it away there, haven’t I? Yes, it’s an always-welcome return for one of our mutual favourites today, our absolute top pick of all the small batch dessert stout specialist breweries from Sussex! It’s a surprisingly large field… (Ed. No, it isn’t, stop being silly) Anyway, it’s just the two from them this time, but don’t think that the smaller quantity means we’ve skimped on quality! Oh no! We’re just as terrible as ever! So, we promise to stay Topical this week and not get into any Sticky (Toffee) situations as we sample these delights! Dear me, even I’m appalled by that.

There was a cerulean darkness rolling in from the stormifying sea… a lone voice echoed across the mist, screeching out bone-chilling tones of doom as her ethereal form swept, hauntingly glowing, through the gathering night towards the shore… also, she was carrying some beers with her… it was THE WHITE HAAAAAG! Yeah, anyway, so we’ve got three Irish beauties for your aural delectation today: the Púca Dry Hopped Lemon Sour Pineapple, the Spree Series Super Split Orange Ice Cream Ale and the Glas Milkshake IPA Peaches & Cream. Wowzer, you’re getting your five a day with that fruity line-up! Disclaimer: Boozer & the Brain definitely does not condone you attempting to glean your daily vitamin and mineral intake from beer. Wink wink.

Hooray, it’s time to Play! And goodness knows, today we are connecting with our inner children, because this is the Tooth Fairy’s dream: the veritable diabetes-in-a-can that is the Gingerbread & Rainbow Choc Frosted Sugar Vanilla Stout is followed up by the nostalgia-tastic Cereal Milk & Chocolate Marshmallow and Coconut Beer. Who could say no to that?! Well, only grown-ups. Thankfully, there are none of those around here!

NEW BREWERY TIME! Christ, I love these… it gives some meaning to my existence! Today we’re exploring DEYA as they inform us that I Do This All the Time - good for them - and that they are Saturated in Strata. Which sounds like a euphemism. No, bad Brain, no! Naughty! Ugh, ok, fine; I’ll be sensible. Um… wow, struggling to imagine how that works, actually. Beers this week, new brewery, for the podcast not in real life, good nice, much fun everyone, listen please thank you. Goodnight!

Oh no. We’re about to have a puntastic prelude again, aren’t we?! Yes, unfortunately we’re reviewing Staggeringly Good again as we sample their wares: I Didn’t Ask for a Monster (I see - are you alright?), Bloo Goo Roo Wrecker (seriously now, are you ok?!) and Un-Bongo Wrecker (right, well that’s just plagiarism, isn’t it?!). Here we go… *sigh*... brace yourselves… tune in to find out if they are indeed staggeringly good! Ed. Come on now, Brain, you made that exact same joke last time! Let’s vary it up a bit, huh? Jesus, you’re losing your touch. Well, what little you had to begin with, anyway.