Before You Go

Although roughly 80% of people say they want to die at home, our culture and healthcare systems rarely make that possible. What happens when a community comes together to reclaim the work of dying with less fear, more love—and even a little bit of fun? In this Season 4 episode of Before You Go (the official podcast of ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying), host Natalie Buster welcomes back Season 2 favorite Dawn Walsh, Executive Director of The Lily House, a social model hospice home (Omega Home) nestled in the pines of Wellfleet, Massachusetts, on the tip of Cape Cod. Celebrating the third anniversary of The Lily House, Dawn shares the "Lily House magic" that brought their sanctuary to life—from a hospice patient who had no one left to hold her hand, to a visit to ABODE in San Antonio, to Sandy Wonders bequeathing her own Cape Cod home at a local Death Cafe. Dawn and Natalie explore why community-led end-of-life care is a form of radical social activism, how live deck concerts and ice cream parties inspired a grieving son to say "I didn't know dying could be so much fun," and how high schoolers, college students, and young grandchildren are transforming our culture's relationship with mortality through sacred after-death care and shrouding ceremonies.⏱️ Episode Chapters & Timestamps00:00 – Welcome back Dawn Walsh, Executive Director of The Lily House (Wellfleet, MA)02:33 – Celebrating 3 years of "Lily House Magic" & welcoming their first resident, Janice Grace04:41 – From arts administrator to death doula: The lonely hospice patient who sparked a vision08:58 – How a visit to ABODE & a Death Cafe led Sandy Wonders to bequeath her Cape Cod home14:11 – Reclaiming death as social activism: "Less fear and more love, because the work of dying belongs to all of us"17:46 – The 3 pillars of cultural change: Care, Community & After-Death Care (Shrouding & Home Wakes)20:09 – "Don't die 'til you're dead!": Why a resident's son said, "I didn't know dying could be so much fun"22:44 – Advice for anyone called to start an Omega Home in their own community25:03 – Why our hearts and souls are hungry for shared mortality26:37 – Multi-generational impact: How teenage & college volunteers (Rosa & Maddie) hold space for death30:47 – Young grandchildren helping shroud their grandfather at the bedside33:22 – Keeping your cup full: 8-hour beach reading days on the Cape Cod National Seashore35:26 – Reimagining obituaries: How The Lily House newsletter shares the story of both life and dying38:46 – "What do you want to do before you go?" (Big Bend, the Milky Way & Lifetime National Park Passes)The Lily House (Wellfleet, MA): https://lilyhouse.org (Sign up for their monthly newsletter to read their resident life & death tributes!)Watch Dawn’s episode from Season Two of Before You Go: https://youtu.be/HQw1PdStYHM?si=laOzo9NX_aBf3nq9Omega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRg🔗 Connect & Learn More This episode was sponsored by Countryside Memorial Park: https://countrysidememorialpark.com/Podcast edited by Make Your Day Richer.Disclaimer: At ABODE, we believe death is not a medical event, and we are not medical professionals. The views shared on this podcast are personal opinions and should not be taken as medical advice.#BeforeYouGoPodcast #TheLilyHouse #OmegaHomeNetwork #EndOfLifeCare #AfterDeathCare #Shrouding #HomeFuneral #DeathDoula #CapeCod #ContemplativeCare #DeathPositive

When a loved one passes away, what do we do with the cherished treasures, China sets, and mementos they leave behind? And how can a small community come together to provide free, home-like end-of-life care when hospitals and nursing homes are full and caregivers are burned out?In this episode of Before You Go (the official podcast of ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying), host Natalie Buster sits down with Laci Graham, Executive Director of Laurel House Comfort Care Home in Newark, New York.Laci shares the heartwarming origin story of Laurel House—sparked in 2013 when founder Pat Albrecht saw a young mother and her children struggling in a sterile hospital setting and convinced a hospital executive to donate a building. They also dive into how Laurel House survived the COVID-19 pandemic by launching "Angel's Attic," a 100% volunteer-run, 100% donation-based boutique shop that gives loved ones' treasured collectibles a second life while funding the home's mission. Plus, Laci and Natalie reflect on the sacred full-circle privilege of caring for former hospice volunteers at the end of life and the supportive power of the Omega Home Network.00:00 – Sponsor: ABODE's Death Cafe (abodehome.org)00:20 – Welcome to Before You Go with host Natalie Buster00:50 – Introducing Laci Graham, Executive Director of Laurel House Comfort Care Home02:30 – The 2013 origin story of Laurel House: A young mother, a hospital visit & a donated building05:31 – Community ownership: When neighbors see their donated couches & curtains in the home06:46 – How "Angel's Attic" was born during COVID—and how loved ones' treasures fund comfort care10:53 – Letting go of mementos, Precious Moments & holiday China sets with purpose15:21 – Serving a smaller county: Addressing caregiver burnout, hospital limits & financial gaps18:07 – Why volunteers are the true frontline family (and staking a claim on their favorite rooms!)21:37 – Full-circle caregiving: The emotional privilege of caring for our own hospice volunteers22:47 – Laci's journey from senior living food service to hospice nurse to Executive Director28:15 – Finding your people: The sisterhood and support of the 48-home Omega Home Network32:48 – Filling our cups: Family dinners, camping in the Adirondacks & coffee with friends35:45 – How to connect with Laurel House Comfort Care Home & Angel's Attic36:40 – "What do you want to do before you go?" (Books, musicals & singing Omega!)Laurel House Comfort Care Home (Newark, NY): https://laurelhousecomfortcare.orgOmega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRgPodcast edited by Make Your Day Richer.Disclaimer: At ABODE, we believe death is not a medical event, and we are not medical professionals. The views shared on this podcast are personal opinions and should not be taken as medical advice.

In nursing and medical school, providers are trained to "fix, fix, fix"—rarely pausing to ask how we care for someone when curing is no longer the goal. And what happens when a patient wants to pass away peacefully at home, but home isn't a realistic option?In this episode of Before You Go (the official podcast of ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying), host Natalie Buster welcomes Sara Milliken (ICU Nurse) and Rachel Butler (Palliative Care Nurse Practitioner). Together, they are the co-founders of Ars Moriendi, an emerging "visioning" social model hospice home (Omega Home) in Fredericksburg, Virginia.Named after the 15th-century Latin text meaning "The Art of Dying," Ars Moriendi is on a mission to make compassionate end-of-life education, grief care, and community support accessible to everyone. Sara and Rachel share how a Saturday morning conversation at Panera sparked their nonprofit journey, why they shifted from a medical hospice concept to a social model home through the Omega Home Network, how they bring advance directive education to unhoused communities and halfway houses, and why death doulas are the sacred "bookend" to birth doulas.00:00 – Sponsor: Bertsch & Boze Elder Law (San Antonio, TX)00:45 – Welcome to Before You Go with host Natalie Buster01:15 – Introducing Sara Milliken & Rachel Butler, Co-Founders of Ars Moriendi02:06 – From the ICU & Palliative Care to Panera: The 3 patient struggles that sparked a movement05:09 – Discovering the Omega Home Network & shifting from a medical to a social model09:36 – Breaking the "fix-it" mindset in healthcare & finding kindred spirits11:25 – Community outreach: Teaching advance directives to adults over 18, the unhoused & halfway houses14:50 – What Ars Moriendi ("The Art of Dying") means and its 15th-century origins17:08 – Real advice for starting a nonprofit hospice home (501(c)(3) perks, fundraising & networking)24:23 – How to keep your cup full in end-of-life work (Hammocks, hot baths & guest bartending)28:13 – The Sacred Bookends: How Death Doulas mirror Birth Doulas32:17 – How to connect with Ars Moriendi & licensing ABODE's Death Doula curriculum35:45 – "What would you like to do before you go?"Ars Moriendi (Fredericksburg, VA): https://www.amshome.orgOmega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRgEpisode Sponsor: Special thanks to Bertsch & Boze Elder Law in San Antonio, Texas — Assisting seniors, helping families. https://www.assistingseniors.com/Podcast edited by Make Your Day Richer.Disclaimer: At ABODE, we believe death is not a medical event, and we are not medical professionals. The views shared on this podcast are personal opinions and should not be taken as medical advice.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of death, military loss, and suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 in the US and Canada.How do we honor the stories of service members, veterans, and the families who love them—especially when military culture often teaches us to stay stoic and hide our pain?In this episode of Before You Go (the official podcast of ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying), host Natalie Buster sits down with Elizabeth Coplan (Founder of Grief Dialogues) and Dr. Qwynn Salazar (suicidologist, death doula, and veteran end-of-life care advocate). Together, they discuss uniting to bring the trauma-informed, immersive theatrical experience "In Honor" to San Antonio—Military City USA—during Muertos Fest, October 23 and 24, 2026.Elizabeth and Qwynn share how serendipity brought them together alongside Operation Solace’s Maria Gonzalez, how interactive art like the military ribbon ceremony helps survivors bear witness to their loved ones' legacies, and why talking openly about death and funeral wishes (yes, including Willie Nelson and Beyoncé playlists!) allows us to live fuller lives before we go.Join Grief Dialogues and ABODE for two unforgettable evenings of remembrance, music, personal narratives, and healing:Dates: October 23rd & 24th at 7:00 PMLocation: The Radius Center, San Antonio, TXTickets & Info: https://griefdialogues.com00:00 – Content Warning & Sponsor: Grief Dialogues presents In Honor01:06 – Welcome to Before You Go with host Natalie Buster01:36 – Introducing Elizabeth Coplan & Dr S. Qwynn Salazar02:58 – Personal ties to San Antonio ("Military City USA") & Muertos Fest04:09 – How the stars aligned with Maria Gonzalez and Operation Solace08:11 – The origin story of Grief Dialogues & transitioning to immersive theater13:04 – How Qwynn manifested working in theater & processing grief through art17:04 – Rethinking Memorial Day: Honoring all veterans, families, and caregivers19:46 – The power of the colored military ribbons & shared vulnerability23:18 – Why "Sorry for your loss" falls short & who In Honor is made for26:33 – Trauma-informed theater: On-site clinicians & breaking military stoicism31:05 – Filling our cups: Diamond art, decoupage, and advising playwrights on death35:05 – Normalizing death talks: Funeral playlists & "Just In Case" bags38:16 – Event shoutouts: Operation Solace, ABODE, and UTSA Arts39:28 – "What do you want to do before you go?"Grief Dialogues: https://griefdialogues.comWatch Elizabeth Coplan’s episode from Season Three: https://youtu.be/WXy-tX-Ifns?si=RtWwEZe5h3uZi3yJFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRgSpecial Thanks to Our Sponsors & Partners: Grief Dialogues, Operation Solace, ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying, and UTSA ArtsDisclaimer: At ABODE, we believe death is not a medical event, and we are not medical professionals. The views shared on this podcast are personal opinions and should not be taken as medical advice.#BeforeYouGoPodcast #GriefDialogues #MilitaryGrief #Veterans #SanAntonio #MuertosFest #EndOfLifeCare #DeathDoula #ImmersiveTheater #MentalHealthAwareness

In this episode of Before You Go, host Natalie Buster sits down with Jackie Council, Executive Director of Vincent House—a two-bedroom Omega home situated in the rural farm country of Wayland, New York. Serving upstate New York's Finger Lakes region since 2000, Vincent House provides compassionate, cost-free comfort care for individuals with a prognosis of three months or less.Jackie shares the home’s unique origins—from community members purchasing a vacant Catholic convent for just one dollar to becoming an essential refuge in a rural resource drought. She discusses how a deeply committed, intergenerational volunteer base powers their daily resident care, the creative and intuitive therapies they incorporate, and why honoring each person’s unique life story transforms end-of-life care into a celebration of humanity.From Convent to Comfort Care: How a local doctor, church members, and neighbors transformed an empty convent into a peaceful, two-bedroom home for the dying.Bridging the Rural Gap: Overcoming transportation barriers and limited in-home services across multiple rural counties to offer a safe alternative to hospitals.The Intergenerational Volunteer Family: How over 100 volunteers ranging from age 16 to 92 run resident care shifts, design gardens, bake treats, and build community connections.Holistic & Intuitive Care: Enhancing traditional comfort care with Reiki, massage therapy, an emotional support dog named Marvin, creative art grief circles, and community drum sharing.Honoring Life Stories: Writing personal guest bios, celebrating milestones, conducting pinning ceremonies for military veterans and nurses, and creating space for families to stay together.Learn more & connect:Vincent House: https://vincenthouseny.org/Omega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRg

In this episode of Before You Go, host Natalie Buster sits down with Miles Gloetzner, founder and executive director of Inhora—an Omega home providing compassionate end-of-life care in Albuquerque, New Mexico.Miles shares his journey from an 11-year nursing career in the VA system to opening a non-medical, community-supported home for the dying. He discusses the story of Inora’s very first guest, Gerald, the Latin roots behind the name "Inhora" (meaning "at the hour"), and how shifting from an anarchist punk rocker to an executive leader has deepened his belief in human goodness and servant leadership.Key Topics Covered:The Origin of Inora: How a late-night journal idea grew into an Omega home welcoming those who slip through institutional cracks.Gerald's Story: Welcoming an unhoused brother and sister from along the Rio Grande and transforming an isolated passing into a communal experience of love and reconnection.The Heart of Volunteers: How community members—from local business owners and teenagers to a neighborhood meteorologist—bring life, presence, and dignity to the bedside.The Role of End-of-Life Doulas: Why Inhora piloted an end-of-life doula program, the unique space doulas hold, and how they bring ritual, presence, and grief support without duplicating medical or chaplaincy roles.Beauty as Care: Centering the end-of-life experience around art, music, kitchen scents, and the human senses.Learn more & connect:Inhora: Website: inhora.orgOmega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRg

In this episode of Before You Go, host Natalie Buster talks with Kendra Deja, Executive Director of Solace Friends in Madison, Wisconsin. Solace Friends is an Omega home uniquely dedicated to providing compassionate, dignified end-of-life care exclusively to individuals experiencing housing insecurity and terminal illness.Kendra shares the decade-long journey of bringing Solace Friends to life—from its founding inspiration by palliative care physician Dr. Ann Catlett to opening its doors as a licensed adult family home. She discusses the nuances of operating under state regulations, meeting residents without judgment through harm reduction principles, and the profound gift of holding space during the sacred transition between living and dying.The Mission & Model: Why Solace Friends focuses specifically on unsheltered individuals facing terminal diagnoses, and what it means to be licensed as an adult family home in Wisconsin.Origin Story: How hospital discharge realities prompted Dr. Anne Catlett to co-found Madison Street Medicine and pursue a dedicated home for vulnerable community members.Radical Acceptance & Harm Reduction: Welcoming residents with severe mental illness, substance dependencies, or justice involvement when other facilities say no.Unforgettable Moments: Heartfelt resident stories, including two sisters reunited after 50 years and a peaceful final chapter with young daughters.Sustaining the Caregiver: Kendra’s 30-year journey in end-of-life care and the philosophy of mutual support that keeps her cup full.Learn more & connect:Solace Friends: https://www.solacefriends.org/Omega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRg

What happens when families face the physical, emotional, and financial exhaustion of round-the-clock end-of-life care? In this episode of Before You Go, host Natalie Buster sits down with Kelley Scott—Founder and Executive Director of Clarehouse, an Omega Home in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Emeritus Executive Director of the Omega Home Network.Kelley delves into the modern caregiver crisis and discusses her co-authored research published in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Medicine, which explores how care settings directly shape the quality of death and life for patients and their loved ones. From the origin story of Clarehouse in a modest Tulsa apartment to the expansive, community-funded 10-bedroom sanctuary it is today, Kelley shares how social model hospice homes relieve the heavy logistics of caregiving so families can return to simply being family.In this episode, we discuss:A reminder to support ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying during San Antonio’s “The Big Give” annual fundraising eventThe misconceptions around medical hospice coverage and the hidden social burdens of dying at homeKey findings from research comparing end-of-life care in private homes, nursing facilities, and social model homesHow practical caregiver education and goals-of-care conversations empower families to make informed, regret-free decisionsMemorable stories of celebrating life, milestones, and joy at ClarehouseDaily mindfulness, sustainable self-care, and the "householder model" of spiritualityKelley’s personal answer to the question: What do you want to do before you go?Learn more & connect:Clarehouse: clarehouse.orgRead Kelley’s article in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Medicine: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/10499091261452647?download=trueOmega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRg

What does it mean to truly live fully until we die? In this episode of Before You Go, host Natalie Buster sits down with Beth Hoey, newly elected Board President of the Omega Home Network and long-time champion of Francis House, an Omega Home in Syracuse, New York.Together, Natalie and Beth explore the vital role of social model hospice homes—compassionate, community-supported residential homes that provide 24/7 care to individuals in their final days at little to no charge. Beth shares the origin story of the Omega Home Network, the growing need for home-like end-of-life care amid the nationwide caregiver crisis, and how volunteers bring presence, dignity, and unexpected moments of deep joy to residents and their families.Plus, hear about upcoming community events at ABODE, reflections on the sacred gift of slowing down at the bedside, and even a preview of a brand-new Omega Home Network theme song!In this episode, we discuss:Details on ABODE’s upcoming Open House and Fall Friend-raiser leading into San Antonio's The Big Give day of fundraisingWhat a social model hospice home is and how it bridges the gap alongside hospice agenciesThe history, mission, and membership tiers of the Omega Home NetworkAddressing the societal taboo around talking about death, dying, and griefFinding balance, processing grief, and replenishing your cup as a caregiverBeth's answer to the core question: What do you want to do before you go?Learn more & connect:Omega Home Network: omegahomenetwork.orgFollow ABODE Contemplative Care for the Dying: https://abodehome.org/Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abodecontemplativecare/Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ABODEcontemplativecareFind us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpWnI9mG4f5rzdDT2tC2fRg

We're back and this season we're introducing you some of our friends in the Omega Home Network!