Baywatch Rookie School

Morgan Thrapp, Michael Eisen

A podcast where 2 men—who have never watched Baywatch before—try and watch Baywatch!

88 Episodes

Your Favorite Magic Crime
8/10/2022
1:33:10
S4E17: Falcon ManifestoPsst Hey kid, you an elbow vegan? Well don't worry any longer, because starting today, we have a solution for you! It's BeyondWenus. Tastes just like real wenus, but made entirely from discarded Baywatch plot pointsMorgan's Rating: 4Michael's Rating: 4Episode discussion starts @14:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:14:38.Assorted show notes:@06:32 Michael forgot he made a movie in college too. That brings the count up to 4.@12:55 A Geocities interview with Jacqueline Collen.@24:32 Please do not Google "Sonic Inflation" on a work computer.@36:40 The Dahir Insaat Earthquake Bed.@01:26:40 Peacock's Insane Christmas Movies.Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
Two Other Jabroni Lifeguards (ft. Eric Maccoux)
7/27/2022
1:49:12
S4E16: Mirror, MirrorWell I suppose it's time we finally tell you. Michael and Morgan are actually the same person. In case you haven't figured it out, Morgan is obviously the horny twin and Michael is the research twin.Eric's Rating: 6Morgan's Rating: 7Michael's Rating: 7Episode discussion starts @24:13. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:11.Assorted show notes:@48:09 A reminder of what the octopus looked like@01:34:52 The Oreo burger@01:35:22 The banana pizza@01:36:01 Eric says that they don't eat the cannibal sandwich in Wisconsin but this twitter account begs to differArt by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
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A Folder in Firefox Called "Morgan's Mom" (Ft. Parker Phend)
7/20/2022
1:24:52
S4E15: Coronado del Soul Part 2If there's horny ghosts, in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Baywatchers!Parker's Rating: 1.5Morgan's Rating: 2Michael's Rating: 2Episode discussion starts @06:47. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:56.Assorted show notes:@01:17:03 The tweet in question@01:17:25 The recorded follow-up to that tweetArt by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
The Wind is Just A Horny Ghost (Ft. Parker Phend)
7/13/2022
1:46:50
S4E14: Coronado del Soul Pt. 1Beef boys! Exciting news! We're hosting our first Baywatch Rookie School Con at the Coronado del Soul. In order to register, you just need to become a ghost and buy tickets from the spooooooky gift shop. Don't worry, this gift shop does have an exitParker's Rating: 4Morgan's Rating: 5Michael's Rating: 6Episode discussion starts @27:11. Post-episode discussion starts @01:36:04.Assorted show notes:@49:53 Said montage. @50:51 Here is the debut. As well, here is the peak.@01:11:03 Morgan's choice.@01:11:27 Parker's choice.@01:12:05 Michael's choice.Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
Wrap It Before You Slap It
7/6/2022
1:28:46
S4E13: Red Knight It's the end of Ben! We are not sad to see him go, even if this is a particularly bad sign off. Come and join us on the beach for a reunion of the Red Knights (or more like the Red Tights amirite???). Also Morgan finally gets a Godfather.Morgan's Rating: 5Michael's Rating: 2.5Episode discussion starts @22:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:40.Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
Cook According To Box Directions
6/29/2022
1:16:57
S4E12: Second Time AroundWe're back! Morgan's back from vacation, so we're recording the episodes we don't have any guests for. Baywatch is hitting it's stride in Season 4, which means they've stopped writing interesting episodes and are just recycling their formulasMorgan's Rating: 3Michael's Rating: 4Episode discussion starts @18:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:18.Assorted show notes:@22:55 Hasslehoff Devouring His Cheeseburger by Goya@23:48 Stills from Baywatch the Animated Series (if only it existed)@33:44 Conversion rates for 1993@01:08:11 Robert Kardashian's Cream of Wheat@01:09:22 Lauren Conrad's Tequila Shot@01:09:48 The Nicole Brown Simpson Chicken NachosArt by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
Fishin' For Dick (Ft. Jon Brence)
6/22/2022
1:47:35
S4E11: The Child InsideIt's time for a Very Special Episode starring a young Republican gymnast. Baywatch doesn't completely bungle depicting the Special Olympics, so that's nice. They didn't do a good job, but it's not as bad as we fearedJon's Rating: 9Michael's Rating: 7Morgan's Rating: 3Check out Jon's portfolio at: https://kawaiiguy.com/ and watch their Twitch streams at: https://www.twitch.tv/kawaiiguy.Episode discussion starts @29:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:32:23.Assorted show notes:@26:20 The Michael Phelps meal@31:01 The fakest rock ever@37:18 Hobie's tribute to vegetables@45:35 The Garfield Pizza as well as a picture of Garfield Eats@46:07: The founder of Garfield Eats@47:44 More pics from Jon related to Garfield Eats@54:17 The music from the original montage set to the video from the remasterArt by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
He Who Should Not Be Wahoo'd (Ft. Homecoming)
6/15/2022
2:07:36
S4E10: Tower of PowerBaywatch is back on it's racist shit, so that's fun. Homecoming is also back, that's actually fun! We talk about graffiti and introduce a new segment, our Pier ReviewHomecoming's Rating: 0.5Michael's Rating: 1Morgan's Rating: 1.5Episode discussion begins @22:34. Post-episode discussion begins @01:56:41.Assorted Show Notes:@01:05:37 The album Michael is referring to.Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
Intersectional Cannibalism (Ft. Tristan)
6/8/2022
1:56:15
S4E9: Ironman BuchannonIn a shockingly horny episode of the podcast, we spend far too much time (and also not nearly enough time) talking about old Nickelodeon Game Shows. #ReleaseTheSnyderCutOfBaywatch #PleaseDontActuallyDoThat #IDontWantSynderFansOnMyCase #NumberOneCheerWorthyMoment.Michael is drunk this episode. Please ignore how while he is drunk, he pounds the table a lot. Or just accept it. We're not your dad.Tristan's Rating: 3Michael's Rating: 6Morgan's Rating: 4Episode discussion starts @30:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:44:38. Assorted show notes:@04:40 I am suspicious this is not Chip Hipkins@20:40 The Playboy cover that got this police officer fired from the NYPD@25:06 15 questions with Yasser Arafat@32:20 The Pam Anderson mixtape@01:18:43 The situation Mitch is in that Morgan is describing@01:35:36 This is the remastered montage with the music from the original airingArt by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.
Lars von Trier's Baywatch
6/1/2022
1:28:18
S4E8: Submersion. CW: Talk of child death.Well, this is a heavy one, so it's a little hard to write a good joke description. Mitch deals with PTSD after almost failing to save a kid and we try to find ways to talk about it while making the show still listenable. How did we do? You tell usMorgan's Rating: 7Michael's Rating: 8Episode discussion starts @21:58. Post-episode discussion starts @01:13:09.Assorted Show Notes:@01:22:35 Picture Michael is referring to about SwedenArt by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

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A company from

Baywatch Rookie School

Morgan Thrapp, Michael Eisen

88 Episodes

Your Favorite Magic Crime

Two Other Jabroni Lifeguards (ft. Eric Maccoux)

A Folder in Firefox Called "Morgan's Mom" (Ft. Parker Phend)

The Wind is Just A Horny Ghost (Ft. Parker Phend)

Wrap It Before You Slap It

Cook According To Box Directions

Fishin' For Dick (Ft. Jon Brence)

He Who Should Not Be Wahoo'd (Ft. Homecoming)

Intersectional Cannibalism (Ft. Tristan)

Lars von Trier's Baywatch