Awake at 3am | Motherhood & Sleep

For six months, Brynn’s partner Sabrina was getting up to Ina 8 times a the night, while Brynn slept in the spare room and spent his days feeling useless. Naps only happened in the pram or the car, so one of them was always walking for two to three hours a day so she would sleep. Bedtime could take up to two hours, and Sabrina was up eight times some nights. He didn’t tell his mates, because what could he say? Nothing he tried made it better, and he didn’t believe there was a fix.This is our very first dad on Awake at 3am, and he explains what sleep deprivation looks like from the other side of the bed: watching someone you love run on empty and not knowing where you fit.In this episode we talk about:What it’s really like to become a dad, and the surprise of how much your life changes before your baby even needs youThe 4 month sleep regression that “should have passed”, and the six months of survival mode that followedWhy dads often stay quiet about sleep deprivation, and why Brynn didn’t think there was anything to sayHow Brynn took the lead on sleep training, including the nights Sabrina stayed next doorThe first night, which took 21 minutes, and what happened by night threeWhy a dad working from home sees everything, and what that did for their relationshipThe bond that grew between Brynn and Ina once she could sleepBrynn’s advice for any dad who thinks there’s no solution“It’s actually so much easier to be on your laptop than being a parent.” This is a conversation every mum has been waiting for, and it’s one for every dad too. If you’ve ever wanted to say “please listen to this” to your partner, send them this episode.Chapters06:30 Becoming a dad16:09 When sleep fell apart18:16 Spare room, pram naps and driving in circles26:56 Why dads don’t talk about it37:25 Night one: Brynn takes the lead49:30 Working from home and seeing it all53:40 The bond with Ina1:01:03 Advice for new dadsAbout BrynnBrynn is the founder of By Storm Solutions, an operations partner business that helps small businesses grow and thrive. He is dad to Ina and lives with Sabrina and their dog Ernie.Learn more about BrynnWebsite: By Storm SolutionsInstagram https://www.instagram.com/bystorm.solutionsMentioned in this episodeSabrina’s own story is in Ep 32, where she shares what this time looked like for her. About Awake at 3amReal stories of motherhood, sleep and survival, hosted by infant sleep consultant Sophia Masur and mum Jess Zids. Follow us @awakeat3am.podcast.

Jessica had already spent more than a year surviving on broken sleep with her first baby, Noah. So when her second baby, Portia, started waking hourly too, she knew she'd eventually need help.What she didn't expect was to spend $1,000 on a sleep consultant, follow the advice for weeks, and end up feeling more exhausted, more defeated, and more alone than when she'd started.Jessica is a mum of two, and she'd spent months following a sleep consultant online before deciding to trust her with Portia's sleep. But what she thought would be personalised support became a generic sleep guide, hours spent patting her daughter in the cot, and a growing feeling that she was just another number.In this episode, Jessica shares what happened when she finally confronted the consultant, why she kept questioning herself when the advice wasn't working, and how difficult it was to trust someone else after that experience. She also talks about the guilt of having a second baby, the loneliness of motherhood without family nearby, and what finally changed when she found an approach that worked for Portia.This episode explores:Sleep deprivation and the toll it takes on maternal mental healthCo-sleeping, breastfeeding and hourly night wakesThe pressure to accept exhaustion as part of motherhoodHaving a second baby and the guilt that comes with itNavigating motherhood without family support nearbyChoosing a sleep consultant and trusting professional adviceWhat happens when sleep support doesn't go to planThe emotional and financial cost of seeking helpGentle sleep training and finding an approach that works for your familyThe importance of personalised support and sleep educationRebuilding confidence in yourself after a difficult experienceIf you've ever paid for help that left you feeling worse, questioned yourself when the advice wasn't working, or felt like you were failing at something everyone else seemed to manage, this conversation is for you.

Sarah had no idea that stopping breastfeeding could leave her feeling so low, and nobody had warned her. She only found out when she Googled it.Sarah is a mum of two under two, and for months bedtime with her toddler, Charlie, could take up to three hours, sometimes ending in screaming tantrums while she had a newborn in her arms. She’d tried two sleep consultants, car rides and the TV, and people kept telling her the gentle approach she wanted wasn’t possible.In this episode, Sarah talks about the post-weaning low that hit when she stopped breastfeeding, which she compares to her postnatal depression, and why she thinks more mums should be told it can happen. She also shares how role-playing with toy trucks during the day helped prepare Charlie for his own room, how bedtime went from hours to around an hour and a half on the very first night with his dad in the room, and how it now ends with “Mummy working” and straight to sleep.This episode explores:Post-weaning depression and the hormone drop after stopping breastfeedingMood changes after weaning with a history of postnatal depressionTwo under two: looking after a toddler and a newbornGentle sleep training for toddlersToddler bedtime battles and bedtimes that take hoursUsing role play to prepare a toddler for sleep changesMoving a toddler into their own roomBreastfeeding to sleep and parental preference at bedtimeBed sharing and co-sleeping with a toddler and a newbornPartner-led bedtime and settlingMum guilt, and stepping away for five minutes when you’re overwhelmedIf you’ve ever been told the gentle way isn’t possible, or felt strangely low after stopping breastfeeding and had no idea why, this conversation is for you.Follow at Awake at 3am and Sophia’s Sleep School for more real stories of motherhood, sleep and survival.

Lory had a Taylor Swift playlist for labour. A birth version, and a separate one for a C-section, just in case.What she didn't plan for was her blood pressure spiking to 190, an emergency caesarean, and 24 hours in and out of consciousness while her newborn son went to NICU without her.Lory is a mum of one, and she thought the hardest part would end there. It didn't. Months later, she was diagnosed with postnatal depression, after telling herself for weeks that she was "so good at masking" how she felt that even she didn't notice how bad it had gotten. Then, just as she started to recover, she learned her husband John had been diagnosed too, after a moment that broke her heart: their baby smiled at him, and he couldn't smile back.In this episode, Lory shares what preeclampsia actually looked like from the inside, how a couple can end up fighting over who's "doing it harder" when they're both drowning, and how couples therapy became the thing that held their family together when neither of them could.This episode explores:Preeclampsia and emergency caesarean birthPostnatal depression and antidepressant medicationPaternal postnatal depressionAdult ADHD diagnosisMasking mental health struggles, even from yourselfResentment and disconnect in a relationship after babyCouples therapy and relationship repairReturning to work after maternity leaveIVF and fertility treatmentIf you've ever felt like you had to hold everything together while the person next to you was falling apart too, or you've masked how you're really doing so well that even you stopped noticing, this conversation is for you.Follow us at Awake at 3am and Sophia's Sleep School for more real stories of motherhood, sleep and survival.

Some nights, Sabrina was waking every thirty minutes to an hour.She'd assumed she'd hit the jackpot, a newborn sleeping eight hours a night, barely one wake. Then four months hit, and it never really stopped. By seven months, some nights she was waking six to ten times. She told herself it was teething. It wasn't.Before any of that, Sabrina spent ten years chasing a diagnosis for pain doctors kept dismissing. Stage four endometriosis, found only after a routine 45-minute surgery turned into eight hours on the table.In this episode, Sabrina shares what it actually took to fall pregnant after that diagnosis, the night she sent a photo of herself to two friends because she couldn't say out loud that she was struggling, and the unusual setup she and her partner used to finally get her daughter sleeping through, one that involved a spare apartment two floors down.This episode explores:Stage 4 endometriosis and delayed diagnosisTrying to conceive after endometriosis surgeryNewborn and infant sleep regressionsFrequent night waking and feeding to sleepPostpartum mental load and isolationRecognising when you need to ask for helpSleep training when breastfeeding is the only thing that worksPartner-led settling and parenting through sleep trainingIf you've ever been too exhausted to say the words "I'm not okay," or you're stuck wondering whether your baby's sleep is ever going to change, this conversation is for you.Follow Sabrina here and follow us at Awake at 3am and Sophia's Sleep School for more real stories of motherhood, sleep and survival.

For three months, Jess convinced herself the night terrors would just pass.Every night, roughly two hours after bedtime, her daughter Floss would start screaming, kicking, thrashing, eyes wide open, completely unreachable. Sometimes it happened every thirty minutes until 1am. In the morning, she had no memory of any of it. Jess's own GP had never heard of a link between night terrors and tonsils.In this episode, Jess shares what actually led her to push past "wait and see," the nasal spray that worked for a month and then stopped, the moment an ENT said her tonsils were graded a three out of four, and the brutal, unexpected recovery that had her convinced, days after the surgery, that they'd made a huge mistake. Because it doesn't get better in three days. For Jess and Floss, it took closer to a month, and then everything changed.This episode explores:Night terrors in toddlersToddler sleep and frequent night wakingTeeth grinding and night sweats in childrenRestless, disrupted sleep and its causesENT referrals and long wait timesSurgery recovery in young childrenWhen to push past "it's probably nothing"Mood, appetite and behaviour changes tied to poor sleepIf your child has unexplained night terrors, grinds their teeth, sweats through the night, or wakes up looking like they've been through a storm, this conversation might be the one that changes what you ask your GP next.Follow @awakeat3am.podcast and @sophiassleepschool for more from todays episode and for daily sleep tips!

This episode discusses infant loss, extremely premature birth, and a newborn's life-threatening illness. Please take care while listening.Hannah carried her daughter out of the hospital in her arms. Olive had died two days earlier, at 22 weeks, after Hannah's waters broke and her medical team told her there was nothing more they could do.Hannah is a midwife and mother of three girls. After a normal first pregnancy, her second ended when her cervix failed at 22 weeks, too early for her daughter Olive to survive. Hannah and her husband made the devastating decision to let her go peacefully rather than pursue interventions with almost no chance of a good outcome, and spent 24 hours with her before saying goodbye.Two years later, her third daughter Nora was born at 28 weeks after months of preterm labour and a second cervical stitch. Nora survived, but contracted meningitis three separate times in her first months of life, spending weeks in NICU and undergoing multiple surgeries before finally coming home well.In this episode, Hannah shares what it actually looked like to carry a pregnancy knowing her baby wouldn't survive, why she started making ceramic urns by hand for other bereaved families, and how she found her way back to feeling like herself after loss most people can't imagine surviving.This episode explores:Infant loss and pregnancy loss at 22 weeksCervical insufficiency and cervical stitchExtremely premature birth and NICUMeningitis in newborns and premature babiesRetained placenta and postpartum complicationsGrief, memory making and honouring a baby who diedExplaining loss to an older siblingRebuilding a family after infant lossIf you've experienced the loss of a baby, are navigating a high risk or extremely premature pregnancy, or simply want to understand what this kind of grief actually looks like, this conversation will stay with you.Support is available.🇦🇺 Red Nose Grief and Loss Support: 1300 308 307 SANDS Australia: 1300 072 637🇺🇸 Star Legacy Foundation 🇬🇧 Sands UK: 0808 164 3332Follow Hannah and Olive & Kin, and follow us at Awake at 3am and Sophia's Sleep School for more real stories of motherhood, sleep and survival.

I googled how long until sleep deprivation could kill me.Natalie spent three years trying to become a mum through unexplained infertility and IVF. Then her husband's epilepsy meant that after their son Arlo was born, she had to survive every single night alone, because for him, sleep deprivation isn't just exhausting, it's medically dangerous.Arlo wasn't sleeping. Ten, sometimes eleven times a night he would wake. Natalie was diagnosed with postnatal anxiety, started counselling through the Gidget Foundation, and still found herself Googling how long a person can survive on almost no sleep, genuinely afraid of the answer.In this episode, Natalie shares what it actually took to get help, why she turned down three personally recommended sleep consultants and went with her gut instead, what the first night of sleep training looked like when her husband physically could not be in the room, and how her marriage was tested under the weight of resentment neither of them wanted to feel.This episode explores:Unexplained infertility and IVFHigh risk pregnancy and gestational diabetesEmergency c-section and birth traumaPostnatal anxiety and postpartum mental healthEpilepsy and sleep deprivation risk in a partnerFrequent night waking and contact nappingSleep training when one parent can't helpModified Ferber and space soothingGidget Foundation counselling and perinatal supportResentment and relationship strain in early parenthoodIf you've ever felt like the only person carrying the night alone, or wondered if you're the only one who's googled something that dark, this conversation will change how alone you feel.To learn more about today's episode follow us at @awakeat3am.podcast and @sophiassleepschool for more real stories of motherhood, sleep and survival.

Jamie tried everything to get her daughter to sleep. Rocking. Feeding to sleep. Singing. An item of her own clothing in the cot. Nothing worked for longer than a month.Jamie is a mum of two, soon to be three, and has spent the last three years trying to understand why the sleep training that worked for her son in two nights did nothing for her daughter. She tried a gentle, non cry it out method from a bestselling sleep book that had worked perfectly the first time. She tried mother's group advice, desperate late night Facebook posts, physios and chiropractors. Some nights her daughter woke more than a dozen times, and the one thing left on the list wasn't a method at all. It was her daughter's tonsils.In this episode, Jamie shares what it actually took to get her daughter's toddler sleep under control, from an ENT assessment that revealed enlarged tonsils and adenoids, to the moment she called the surgeon in tears, convinced she was making the wrong call. We also talk about the undiagnosed postpartum depression she didn't recognise in herself the first time around, the one her husband had to name for her, and how a completely different second baby forced her to throw out everything that worked the first time.This episode explores:Toddler sleep and frequent night wakingEnlarged tonsils and adenoids affecting sleepSigns your child may need an ENT assessmentTonsillectomy and adenoidectomy in toddlersSleep training that works for one child and not anotherUndiagnosed postpartum depression and postnatal depressionPostpartum anxiety and identity loss in motherhoodMouth breathing, snoring and poor sleep quality in toddlersManaging a newborn, a toddler and working full timeSecond and third pregnancy after postpartum depressionSetting boundaries as a working parentIf you've ever wondered whether your toddler's tonsils could be the reason nothing else has worked, or you've suspected you had postpartum depression and no one confirmed it, this conversation is for you.Follow @awakeat3am.podcast and @sophiassleepschool to learn more about infant sleep!

Can you trust your sleep consultant? Jess and Sophia unpack what parents should know before seeking help with their baby’s sleep. Jess shares her experience of being badly let down by a sleep consultant, while Sophia explains the red flags she sees in the industry and what parents should look for when choosing someone to support their family. They also talk about sleep deprivation, maternal mental health and why finding the right support can change everything.|