Attune IN

When a child goes quiet, or won't meet your eye, it's easy to read it as rudeness or refusal but often it's not.I'm joined by ⁠Emma Woodhouse⁠, neurodevelopmental specialist and co-director of ⁠Compass Psychology⁠, to talk about connecting with a child whose brain works differently, and why adjustments that help an autistic child are often helpful for non-autistic children too!Emma previously worked at The Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience at King's College London, the Anna Freud Centre and the National Autism Unit. She has completed more than 2k+ diagnostic assessments and is a qualified integrative counsellor and BACP member. As she puts it, there is "nothing that's exclusive to autism or ADHD": every trait we assess for turns up across the wider population too.We talk about connection as something you track and test rather than assume, why eye contact can be effortful or even painful to hold, and the difference between a child who doesn't feel comfortable telling you how they feel and one who doesn't know how to.We also get into:Why "what did you do at school today?" so often gets you nothing, and when to ask insteadDeep pressure versus light touch, and reading a child's sensory worldAlexithymia: when a child struggles to name what they feel insideModelling the repair, saying sorry, asking for help, getting it wrong out loudThe game controller as a way in when talking head-on won't workThis conversation explores neurodevelopmental frameworks including autism and ADHD, alongside concepts such as sensory processing, interoception and alexithymia. These are discussed as educational ideas for understanding how different children experience the world, not as diagnostic tools. Alexithymia in particular is a descriptive term rather than a clinical diagnosis. Nothing in this episode constitutes clinical advice, and no episode can assess or diagnose an individual child. If you have concerns about your child's development or wellbeing, please consult your GP or a qualified professional.Get Connected: ⁠Connect on LinkedIn⁠⁠Follow on Instagram⁠⁠Attune IN®⁠Go deeper:Attune IN®: Connection science for parents. Mental wellbeing for the long game. Self-paced guidance by Dr Gauri, a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3. Are you a parent looking for the science of connection? Or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation? Go to ⁠⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

You think your teenager is being deliberately difficult, but what looks like "attitude" is a brain still wiring up and an identity working itself out by pushing against yours.I'm joined by ⁠Dr Jon Goldin⁠, FRCPsych, consultant in child and adolescent psychiatry, to talk about the still-developing teen brain and what changes about parenting through the adolescent years.Jon recently retired from ⁠Great Ormond Street Hospital⁠ after 21 years as a consultant, and was joint training programme director for the GOSH and Royal London Higher Training Scheme in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for 10 years. He was vice chair of the ⁠Royal College of Psychiatrists⁠' Child and Adolescent Psychiatry faculty from 2017 to 2021, and was awarded RCPsych Psychiatric Communicator of the Year in 2022.We talk about why the prefrontal cortex is still under construction well into the twenties, what Jon calls rubber tyre boundaries that flex without breaking, and the quiet reframe he offers parents: when children are behaving in difficult ways, they're often having a difficult time.We also get into:A one-line reframe Jon offers parents when their child seems "deliberately difficult", which changes the question without changing the boundaryWhy phones charging in the kitchen overnight are worth the argument, and why parents have to model it firstA short listening exercise that takes the heat out of screen-time arguments without either side backing downBeing your child's parent and not their friend, and what makes that easier to holdWhy Jon doesn't use the word "projection" with teenagers, even when that may be what's happeningGo Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent/practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

Sometimes your child shows you what they can't yet say through a drawing, a game, or a story they keep coming back to.I'm joined by ⁠Professor Dominik Havsteen-Franklin⁠, art therapist and Vice President of the ⁠European Federation of Art Therapy⁠, to talk about play as the language children use before words, and what changes when a parent picks up a pen and joins in.Dominik is Professor of Practice (Arts Therapies) at Brunel University London, where he leads research on the role of the arts in wellbeing and resilience, including a large-scale NIHR-funded trial on arts therapies. He continues to practise as an art psychotherapist and clinical supervisor in the NHS.We talk about the line game, a drawing exercise Dominik uses with his own children, Edward Tronick's still face research on how parents and infants find each other, and what happens when a child's play becomes the way they make sense of what's hard to say.We also get into:Drawing each other's portraits: what eye contact does that small talk can'tWhy a child's play often returns to the moment just before something difficultBessel van der Kolk on feelings that get stuck, and where Dominik thinks they go nextDominik on the unconscious as a language we don't yet speak fluentlyWhy drawing "in your own way" matters more than drawing it 'right'Go Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent or practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

The mid-morning slump. The after-school raid on the biscuit tin. The snappiness before dinner. How much of it starts on the plate?I'm joined by ⁠Tina Lond-Caulk⁠, known to many as The Nutrition Guru, to talk about the link between food and mood and how what our children eat shapes the way they feel, focus and sleep.A registered nutritionist (BSc Hons) with 25 years' experience across Harley Street practices and the Lanserhof clinic, Tina is the Bloomsbury bestselling author of ⁠Eat Well and Feel Great⁠ and founder of the nationwide Food for Life schools programme, speaking to tens of thousands of students a year. We talk about the gut-brain connection, why the after-school slump often has more to do with breakfast than you'd think, and how small, doable changes tend to land better than a big overhaul.We also get into:The breakfast that decides whether a child hits the mid-morning wallHow to spot an ultra-processed food on the packet without a nutrition degreeOmega-3, the "smash fish", and what to do when your child won't touch oily fishWhat a night out does to a teenager's gut, sleep and developing brain, and how to raise itThe "nip and flip", Tina's tool for helping a child talk back to their inner criticThis conversation explores nutritional science and its links to mood, focus and emotional wellbeing, and references research including the SMILES trial. These are discussed as emerging and evolving areas of science, not settled fact, and nothing in this episode constitutes clinical, medical or dietary advice. Supplements and dietary changes are not a substitute for professional care. If you have concerns about your child's diet, mood or a specific health condition, please consult your GP or a registered dietitian or qualified health professional.Go deeper:Attune IN®: connection science for parents. Self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3. Mental wellbeing for the long game.Are you a parent looking for the science of connection? Or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation? Go to ⁠attunein.co.uk⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

"We're not born knowing how to parent well," says Professor Mick Cooper. "It's things we need to learn, like anything else."I'm joined by ⁠Professor Mick Cooper⁠, chartered psychologist and father of four, to talk about the space between being too soft and too strict, and why landing there is harder than anyone lets on.Mick is Professor of Counselling Psychology at the ⁠University of Roehampton⁠, a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, and an internationally recognised author whose books include "Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy". Much of what he shares, he says, comes as much from raising his own children as from the research.We talk about the three parenting styles and the authoritative-like middle, warm and loving while still holding boundaries; why unconditional acceptance doesn't mean no boundaries; and the difference between judging what a child does and judging who a child is.We also get into:Bowlby's secure base, and why conveying love comes before everything elseThe quiet cost of casting one child as "the clever one" and another as "the fun one"The emotional work of accepting a path you didn't hope your child would takeThought traps, and why your child might take it from a therapist but not from youEmotional literacy as a life skill, and how early you can startThis conversation explores ideas from counselling and psychotherapy, including attachment theory, cognitive behavioural approaches to unhelpful thinking patterns, and the concept of defence mechanisms. These are offered as educational frameworks rather than clinical guidance, and are not presented as one-size-fits-all answers. Nothing in this episode constitutes clinical advice. If you are experiencing significant mental health difficulties, please consult your GP or a qualified mental health professional.Go Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent or practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠attunein.co.uk⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

Therapy is one hour a week. That leaves 167 hours where most people don't get support.I'm joined by ⁠Lara Gregorio⁠, licensed clinical social worker with over 25 years in behavioural health and founder of ⁠4C Mental Health⁠, to talk about why community might be the missing piece in emotional wellbeing and how we teach our children to sit with their feelings rather than rush to fix them.Lara shares how becoming a parent reshaped her understanding of support, and why a quote from a high school English teacher has guided her parenting more than her clinical training. We talk about the difference between allowing emotions and managing them, why children can't process boundaries when they're emotionally flooded, and the simple neurobiological tools that can help the whole family regulate.We also get into:Why your child might have only heard you once, even though you've said it a hundred timesThe 90-second truth about every emotion, and what keeps it alive after thatConnection before correction: why timing changes everythingQuick regulation tools from DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) that any parent can use"Be the stick": a whitewater rafting metaphor for riding out emotional stormsGo Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self-paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent/practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

Under stress, most of us don't parent the way we want to. We parent the way we were parented.I'm joined by ⁠Dr Florian Ruths⁠, consultant psychiatrist and medical psychotherapist, to talk about schema therapy and what parents actually carry from their own childhoods into the moments that test them.Florian is clinical lead of the ⁠Maudsley Medical Psychotherapy Service⁠ and co-leads the Maudsley Schema Therapy Service, where he is an accredited trainer, supervisor and practitioner in schema therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy. He was London principal investigator on the international multicentre trial of group schema therapy published in ⁠JAMA Psychiatry in 2022⁠.We talk about why parenting is an act of courage, the trap of unrelenting standards (what he calls "mission impossible"), and the simple reframe of kind limit setting: treating our children with the respect we'd extend to a neighbour.We also get into:Why our default parenting mode shows up under stress, and how to notice it before it leadsWhy parenting is one thread in a child's story, not the whole storyUnrelenting standards at work plus unrelenting standards at homeHow tone of voice and facial expression shape the inner voice a child carriesSeeing our children as individuals, not extensions of usGo Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent/practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

Your child does something small and suddenly you're reacting in a voice you barely recognise. What set you off usually isn't what's in front of you.I'm joined by ⁠Dr Abrar Hussain FRCPsych⁠, consultant psychiatrist and accredited cognitive analytical therapist, to talk about the iceberg behind your child's behaviour and how often what sits underneath points back to something in your own childhood.Abrar leads a specialist NHS service for functional neurological disorders, is an EMDR Europe accredited practitioner, and is a co-architect of the model behind ⁠HOSA Institute⁠ (Nervous System Economy). He is course director for the London-based MRCPsych CASC programme and trains psychiatrists across the UK.We talk about reciprocal roles from cognitive analytical therapy (CAT), the moments a parent's own childhood enters the room, and Abrar's framing of parenting as a relational gym: the place your own patterns get a chance to be met differently.We also get into:"Authentic self" versus "defence": Abrar on when a child's anger is one or the other"Core pain" in CAT, and the moment a parent's deeper hurt gets activated by a child's small refusalThe 8 Cs of Self in Internal Family Systems, and why there are "no bad parts"Abrar's pause-and-breathe practice for the moments that catch you off guard at homeWhy the most useful preparation for parenthood starts with youGo Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent or practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

In this episode, I'm joined by ⁠Lou Lebentz⁠, founder of ⁠The Voyage®⁠, to talk about trauma, how it lives in the nervous system, and the impact it can have on the way we connect with our children.Lou breaks down the four aspects of trauma, from the events we can name to the things we absorbed without realising; and explains why almost everyone is carrying some form of stress or trauma. We talk about the different sides of ourselves that show up in new parents and when we're parenting. We cover what it takes to feel regulated alongside your child, and why guilt doesn't belong in the conversation.We also get into:Safety, feeling seen, and feeling soothed: what every child (and adult) needsThe traffic light system: green, amber, red, and what happens to connection in eachWhy your social engagement system switches off when you're activatedBoundaries that land vs boundaries that don'tThe difference between guilt and responsibilityGet Connected:⁠⁠Connect on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠Attune IN⁠®⁠Go Deeper:Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent or practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠⁠attunein.co.uk⁠⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify.

I'm joined by ⁠Natasha Silver Bell⁠, founder and CEO of SilverBell Global, to talk about creating a calm home and why the work starts with the parent's own rhythm.Natasha is a mother of three and leads SilverBell Global's family-centred care programmes including LifeTeams, Care Navigation Plans, and the annual East Meets West restoration retreat at Castle Ashby.She is co-founder of ⁠Youth Prevention Mentors⁠ and Inservice Foundation, ambassador for Partnership to End Addiction, and Vice President of NCADD/Westchester's board.We talk about "slow down, where's the fire?", the hidden "what about me" that sits under most morning rushes, and why giving a child ownership of their homework belongs in the same practice as giving them a quiet hallway when they come through the door.We also get into:Why the calm in the home starts with the parent who walks in firstChild-led afternoons: when children set the terms of the hour after schoolA memory from her daughter's primary school years that changed how she comes home nowAutonomic wellbeing in the family living room, from ⁠Deb Dana⁠'s workWhy "failure to launch" gets the direction of the problem wrongGo Deeper:Attune In® delivers connection science education for busy parents.The Attune In program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3.If you are a parent looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit ⁠attunein.co.uk⁠ for more info.Originally published on Spotify