449. Coaching Hotline: Obsessing Over Sexual & Romantic Rejections

When you’re replaying a breakup, imagining a different version of yourself your partner might have loved more, or worrying that someone is “settling,” the problem isn’t the relationship, it’s the way your brain is using other people’s opinions to try to regulate your self-worth. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about rejection and attraction that illustrate how quickly your mind will outsource your value to someone else’s thoughts. I break down why your brain becomes so invested in mental rehearsals, fantasies, and what-ifs, and how those patterns keep you from seeing your actual emotional life clearly. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/449Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Confidence isn’t a magic spell, and it’s not something you’re born with. Over the course of one year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence – self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-belief and self-actualization – to create any outcome you want in your life. From the incredibly concrete (get promoted to VP) to the most ineffable (love myself more), these four skills will get you where you want to go. Join me for A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Click here to grab your spot or learn more: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/life

When you imagine yourself in the future, what do you see? Are you meditating at 5 a.m. before diving into the picture-perfect morning routine? Are you living by the beach with a business that makes money while you sleep? Are you making holiday cookies with your kids without ever spilling flour all over the floor? In this episode, I'm breaking down a crucial distinction that most self-help exercises about connecting to your future self completely miss: the difference between your future self and your fantasy self. You'll learn specific ways to check whether you're connecting to a helpful future self who has actual advice about your growth, or if you're indulging in a fantasy that keeps you stuck. Learn more about A Confident Life here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/aconfidentlife/ Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/448Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Playing with your preschooler should be fun, right? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that dig into common parenting frustrations. The first tackles how to show up authentically when your preschooler's bossiness during play triggers irritation. The second explores managing all those thoughts about how children "should" behave. You'll learn practical ways to reframe your irritation, understand what being "authentic" really means in parenting, and get curious about those inherited beliefs about how kids should act. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/447Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

There’s one thing that determines whether you can create the life you want: Your confidence. When you believe you can’t, you won’t.When you believe you can, you will.  Teaching you how to believe you can is what we do best. And it's what I will be doing in our brand new, year-long program, A Confident Life. Join me for a free, live Q&A to discover if A Confident Life is the next right step for you. To sign up for the Q&A call, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/qa-callMentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

If you have big goals for 2026 but no idea what thoughts your brain actually needs to think to create them, this episode will give you a much clearer map. I’m breaking down the kinds of thought patterns that keep you stuck in body insecurity, imposter syndrome, dating frustration, family tension, or money anxiety and how to use the four Confidence Compass skills to shift those patterns for good. No matter what your goals are, you will hear at least one thought you can borrow and apply immediately to the area of your life you want to evolve next. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/446Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confidentMentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

In this Coaching Hotline episode, you'll hear two listener questions that will feel familiar if you have ever wondered why your new thoughts seem to “stop working” or why believing you can handle future challenges feels harder than it should. I break down what is really happening underneath that experience so you can see it with a lot more clarity. I also talk about the mental spiral that happens when someone else’s unmanaged mind feels irritating, and why that reaction is more revealing about your own thought patterns than you think. If you have ever felt stuck between what you know intellectually and what your brain insists on believing, this episode will show you how to shift that dynamic from the inside out. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/445Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

If you could become the fullest version of yourself, what would that even look like? After coaching thousands of women for nearly a decade, I can tell you this is the real question beneath every goal, every dream, and every moment of frustration. We all want self-actualization, but most of us stay stuck not because we lack ambition, but because we have never been taught the skill that makes self-actualization possible. In this episode, I explain why self-actualization has nothing to do with your circumstances, your upbringing, your bank account, or the state of the world. It comes from learning how to act on possibility instead of waiting for certainty. I teach you how to move your threshold for action from probable to possible, and why this shift is essential if you want to grow into your future self. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/444Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confidentMentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

What happens when you’re stuck between wanting more for yourself but not knowing how to get there? In this week’s Coaching Hotline, I dive into how to break free from the confusion and indecision that come with craving something bigger, but not knowing what that actually means for you. I also address the all-too-common habit of complaining and why we so often turn to others for validation, even when it doesn’t actually help us move forward. You’ll learn how to swap complaints for empowering thoughts and why trying out a “complaining diet” is a game-changer for shifting your mindset. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/443Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

We hear a lot about self esteem these days. Why it matters, how to get more of it, and what it means when you feel like you do not have enough. Most people think that improving their self esteem will automatically make them more confident, but to create real and lasting confidence, they are missing something essential: self belief. In this episode, I am breaking down the difference between the two and explaining why self belief is the skill that actually moves your life forward. You will also learn why your brain resists confidence in the first place and how to work through the fears that keep you playing small. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/442Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confidentMentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!