245. Insensitivity

This week’s inquiry begins by noticing all the movements of life. Relationships, jobs, houses, cars, kids, wellbeing … everyday stuff. Do you experience any resistance just hearing that list? If you do, we invite you to follow along with an inquiry on the likely cause of that stress: believing the thought, “I have to keep it all going.” Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Does this thought bring peace or stress into your life? If it’s stressful, it might be worth a second look.

This week’s episode holds space for one of the main fears that can come up when we’re experimenting with inquiry and getting free: the fear of being insensitive. As Tom points out, deep down nobody wants to be insensitive to the suffering that goes on in this world. And when we reach states of openness and freedom ourselves, sometimes the fear that shows up is hurting other people by not joining them in their misery. Through a vulnerable health-related share and an exploration into the possibility that everything – everything – works out in the best way possible, that sparks the conversation about how sensitivity fits into the equation of personal liberation, we invite you to join in on The Work.

Do you notice within yourself a tendency to approach life from a place of resistance? Resistance to what you don’t want to experience, resistance to what appears to oppose you, or resistance in its other form: effort. Often we hold tightly to resistance as if it’s the only thing between us and utter disaster. Or just living an experience we don’t like. But could it be that our resistance is the only thing between us and relaxation? And that the only thing effort truly brings into our lives is stress? As Katie says, don’t believe it. Find out for yourself. Follow along in this week’s episode exploring our habit of resistance.

“If I receive, I owe something in return.” This thought is drilled into us from the very beginning with the teaching of “pleases” and “thank yous,” but is it true? It can be so easy to slip into the current of belief in this thought, because that’s the way the world seems to work. But might it work differently if we didn’t believe that receiving and owing go hand-in-hand? And more importantly, what is it like on a personal level believing that it’s true that we can’t receive without owing something in return? Could it be that nature doesn’t live by rules of owing and earning? Have any of us ever actually earned the incredible abundance of the sun? Or the devotion of the chair that holds us up? Maybe those are clues to the nature of life, and therefore the nature of us.

Byron Katie does not want people’s approval. She has no interest in manipulating people out of the way they see her. She wants them to think the way they think. According to Katie, that’s love. In this episode, Tom guides a meditation around noticing wanting approval. Noticing what it’s like living in the world of holding tightly to that desire, and noticing what it’s like being free of it. Could it be that it doesn’t matter what anyone is thinking about me? We invite you to follow along in this inquiry with situations in your own life where you notice attachment to being approved of.

Often we can experience the fear that if we follow our heart’s desire, we will end up hurting people we love, or causing disasters, or being reckless, or any number of miserable outcomes. This week’s brave share is an inquiry into that fear. What if the people in your life already see you as reckless and irresponsible? What if you think you might be showing up that way too? In the world of obligation, permission and justification, it becomes impossible to see with clarity. If you’ve been there (or are there now) we invite you to follow along and undo some of that confusion, and come into an experience of total freedom.

Do you ever have a situation show up in your life that feels less than ideal and think, “I didn’t sign up for this”? A partnership isn’t like the beautiful image we thought it would be, a child gets sick, a job isn’t what you hoped for, difficult communication arises. Or just this being human thing doesn’t feel like a choice you made freely. All the challenges feel like way too much. It’s impossible to rise to any occasion. It’s impossible to be really happy. Welcome to the world of the thought – “I didn’t sign up for this” – that this week’s episode takes a long hard look at. We invite you to follow along with whatever situation brings this belief up for you, and find out who you are without it. Could it possibly be true that we have signed up for everything we’ve ever experienced?

In this inquiry on the thought, “who/what I am is not beautiful,” Tom says that when we discover our beauty it changes our relationship with everything. What’s it like in the world of seeing ourselves as unbeautiful creatures? How do we show up? How do we treat ourselves? These are the questions that arise in this beautiful inquiry, along with their profound answers. Could it be time to allow ourselves to consciously experience being beautiful?

This week’s episode looks at some words from awakened masters on the vanity of the Universe, of the God/Creator/Consciousness that uses existence to experience itself. It also looks at some of our reactions to those words. A common response to the idea that there is no separation, or as Katie puts it, that there is only One, can be a fear of loneliness. As if there only being One means it’s a cold, lonely existence. Hand-in-hand with that fear can be a fear of not being enough, that sense of inadequacy that seems often so integral to the human experience. Could it be that we are the Oneness expressing and enjoying itself? And could it be that the experience of that aloneness isn’t a lonely one after all?

Tom likes to say there’s two main religions on this planet: “There’s right and wrong,” and “If you get it wrong it’s serious.” This week’s episode focuses on the first of those commonly held beliefs and – through The Work – questions it. When we enter question 3 and look at how we react, what happens when we believe the thought, we’re done looking at whether it’s true or not. We are purely experiencing the effect of believing that it is true. So even if this thought has been drilled into you by parents/school/society/what have you, you have the freedom to look at your own experience and notice through the natural intelligence that shows up within us in inquiry what truly helps you show up the way you’d like to in life. Does the religion of right and wrong support you? If yes, you’re free to keep it. If it hurts in any way, you’re free to question it and follow along in this popcorn-style inquiry.