The Discomfort Practice with Betsy Reed

A member of Embodied Leadership Lab told Betsy recently, "You're always in transition. It's what I like about you. It's why I'll follow you anywhere." It was offered as a gift. Her chest braced anyway, a small flinch right under the sternum. That gap between what was offered and what was received is today's episode. Because "transition" and its cousins (can't settle, can't commit, flaky) have been used against her before. Sometimes kindly. Sometimes with a tilt of the head that says, "Bless her, she still hasn't sorted herself out." So Betsy turns the picture around. Nobody watches a surfer read the swell and says, "Wow, they're really bad at standing still on land." Yet that is exactly the judgement we make of people who live in motion: we measure moving water by the standards of the shore. She doesn't stop at the triumphant version, though. Some days Betsy would love a fixed shore, somewhere everyone already knows who she is and she doesn't have to explain herself again. Being on the water all the time is tiring. You're exposed to the weather. And there's another layer, because a man in motion is called a visionary while a woman in motion is more often called unsettled. She talks about dating, about the silences and the not-knowing, and how the mind fills the gap with the harshest story available... a story, not a fact. If you've ever been called restless, changeable or flaky, this one is for you. The episode ends with a practice: stand up if you can. Soften your knees. We'll do the practice together... In this episode, Betsy explores: - The flinch: why a compliment about being "always in transition" landed as an accusation in her body - The script most of us were handed (train, pick a lane, collect the markers, retire) and why a common path is not the measure of a person - The surfer: why transition is a different kind of stability, one that lives in the body rather than in the postcode or the job title - What a surfer actually has: choosing the wave, letting a hundred pass, then committing with everything, and why that is research and service, not flakiness - Where it still stings: the days she'd trade the water for a fixed shore, and holding both truths without tidying either - The extra layer for women, and what we do with silence when there is no feedback loop - A body practice for balancing on moving ground, and a different reply to "you can't settle": not defence, but curiosity - Your turn: where in your own life are you on moving water and calling it a failure? -- The Discomfort Practice explores the uncomfortable edges where personal growth, leadership, embodiment and systems change intersect. Follow Betsy for more reflections on living out loud, trusting movement as intelligence, and what happens when you stop judging your balance by the standards of the shore.   Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen - and a five-star review always helps Follow Betsy's writing on Substack: www.substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy - coaching and consultancy: www.embodiedleadershiplab.com Check out Embodied Leadership Lab membership: www.patreon.com/c/embodiedleadershiplab  

Six years ago, in a small Barcelona flat during the brutal COVID lockdowns, Betsy started a podcast about discomfort. Her work had vanished, she couldn't leave the house, and it felt like the universe was holding her on her back like a puppy until she stopped squirming. Back then she believed discomfort was something you got through. It ended, you got a calm patch, and then the next one arrived. Now she's recording the opener to Season 6 in October 2026, with a summer of chemotherapy behind her and a few newly arrived eyebrows (you should have seen the situation a month ago). Her relationship with discomfort has quietly turned inside out. It isn't a finish line you cross once. It's the texture of life, and she's learning to hold it with open hands... most days, at least for today. This season shifts focus to "embodied leadership in the wild" - how people lead from the gut, the heart, the senses and the nervous system, not just the MBA framework. Expect more solos, less scripting, a little less polish, and video for the first time, which is deeply uncomfortable for her. Expect weird questions too, like "Where do you feel that in your body?" Don't get hung up on the word leader. If you're not leading your own life, who is? Whether you've been here since season one or pressed play thirty seconds ago, you're welcome exactly as you are, nervous system and all. In this episode, Betsy explores: - Why she started The Discomfort Practice during the Barcelona lockdown, and what she believed discomfort was back then - How an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis and a summer of chemo rewrote that belief: discomfort as rhythm, not a chapter that closes - Why she's doing more solos, less scripting and video for the first time (and the compliment she's learned to take: "I like listening to you waffle out loud") - What embodied leadership actually means, and why "I'm not a leader" doesn't get anyone off the hook - How a leader's nervous system patterns show up in their culture, what fractals have to do with it, and where Mike Tyson comes in - Why this season's guests will be asked about the body, and why checking in with how you feel is intelligence, not weakness - Launching the Embodied Leadership Lab in June, at the start of chemo, and the unexpected gift of a membership community - Your turn: if leadership is a practice before it's a performance, what are you practising right now? The Discomfort Practice explores the uncomfortable edges where personal growth, leadership, embodiment and systems change intersect. Follow Betsy for more reflections on embodied leadership, living out loud, and what happens when you stop trying to get through discomfort and start learning from it.   Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen - and a five-star review always helps Follow Betsy's writing  on Substack: substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy - coaching and consultancy: www.embodiedleadershiplab.com Embodied Leadership Lab membership: www.patreon.com/c/embodiedleadershiplab

In this solo episode, the final one of Season 5, Betsy doesn't try to tidy six years of the show into something resolved. Every neat version she drafted felt like a lie, so this is the untidy one, left hanging on purpose. The real throughline of the season wasn't the guest list, it was becoming visible, whether the episode was about that directly or not. She started Season 5, then paused it for nearly a year. She came back to it with a completely different life underneath her. She didn't resolve her discomfort with and desire for more visibility. She just got more honest about not having resolved it. And recorded more solos than she has in any previous season. And here's what's actually shifting. She's been through a cancer diagnosis and is still in treatment - and will be for some time yet. Her work landscape has cracked open too, bringing real financial discomfort alongside new clarity about how she wants to work and with whom. Embodied Leadership Lab is real now. Not a someday thing. A thing with a name and a door. Season 6 will have new territory: embodied leadership in the wild, discomfort as something that shows up in the body in real time, not just a concept discussed with guests. She's walking into it the way she's walked into every uncomfortable thing on this show, before she's got the ending, before she's privately practiced showing up perfect. In this episode, Betsy explores: What Season 5's real throughline turned out to be, underneath the guest list Why she paused the season for a year, and what came back different when she returned to it The shift she's not hiding: a cancer diagnosis, ongoing treatment, and a work landscape that's cracked open in hard and clarifying ways Why Embodied Leadership Lab stopped being a someday thing What's staying exactly the same going into Season 6, and what's turning up in volume The question she's leaving open: how real is too real, and where confessional tips into everyone else orbiting your emotions A closing practice to sit with: what's one thing that's currently over but not quite over for you, and can you let it just be what it is? The Discomfort Practice explores the uncomfortable edges where personal growth, leadership, embodiment and systems change intersect. Follow Betsy for more reflections on visibility, reinvention and building a life, and a body, that can hold the truth of what's actually happening. Follow Betsy on Instagram: @thebetsyreed Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen - and a five-star review always helps Join her on Substack, Voice Notes from the Edge: substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy - coaching, the Embodied Leadership Lab membership on Patreon, community circles, and People Like Us dinners across Europe: www.embodiedleadershiplab.com

In this solo episode, Betsy comes back to a line she's been circling for months - since being diagnosed with cancer. She records this episode on the other side of a summer of chemotherapy, which she didn't know was coming when she first jotted down notes for this episode. She bites into Anthony de Mello's line "life is a feast but most people are starving to death."  This isn't a recovery story. It's not "here's what cancer taught me," tied off with a bow. It's Betsy asking the same question mid-feast that she asked in March, post-cancer diagnosis, pre-surgery, pre-chemo: are you feasting, or are you starving in a room full of abundance? In this episode, Betsy explores: What it costs to keep choosing the feast when circumstances get harder instead of easier "Starvation consciousness" - the stories that convince us we're in famine when we're not: not enough, behind, wrong country, wrong timing Why abundance was never about the conditions. It's about what you let yourself taste The direct line between nervous system regulation and whether life feels vivid or flat The difference between numbing pain and actually metabolising it Why presence doesn't require the threat to be gone, and why that's the uncomfortable part What it costs to want things fully when wanting itself feels risky Why she refuses to sit here and politely starve The discomfort practice for this week: Notice where you're starving in the middle of abundance. Where are you postponing joy? Where are you numbing instead of tasting? Where are you pretending not to want what you actually want? And where might life already be offering you something you're afraid to receive? Just take one bite... The Discomfort Practice explores the edges where growth, truth and aliveness meet, the places we usually avoid, but where our real lives actually begin. If this one landed, send it to someone who needs the reminder that life can still be vivid in the middle of not knowing. How to get more of Betsy: Substack, Voice Notes from the Edge: https://substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy - coaching, Embodied Leadership Lab membership, community circles, and People Like Us dinners across Europe: https://www.embodiedleadershiplab.com and https://www.patreon.com/embodiedleadershiplab Subscribe to the podcast and leave a five-star review  

This is an unusual episode of The Discomfort Practice. For six years, Betsy has only recorded solos when she's felt in creative flow, with thoughts already framed. This one is different. She's a week late posting, and instead of waiting for the mood to arrive, she's recording from inside it: chemo has gotten hard, a client canceled projects and wiped out her planned summer income and another piece of work fell through yesterday; she's newly and suddenly in menopause - with a nervous system that has lost its usual brakes; it's been 100 degrees in southern Spain for days with a month of heat still ahead; she's bald from chemo and her feet hurt all the time (but she still has to walk her dog); and she's mostly alone with it. And kind of over it. But not yet through it… This is the edge of her own discomfort practice, and she decided that's exactly what belongs on the podcast. Not a lesson extracted afterward. Not a tidy insight. Just what it sounds like to turn on the mic without knowing when any of this ends, or what it's for. She gets a little weepy, which is not something she would have been brave enough to post even six months ago. But this is Betsy, living life out loud and welcoming others to do the same, whatever state they're in. In this episode, Betsy explores: Why she's recording this solo without waiting to feel "in the mood," and what that shift is teaching her What it's actually like to be a week behind on the podcast because life didn't cooperate Chemo, sudden surgical menopause, and a nervous system with no brakes left Financial crisis, cancelled work, and not having the energy to reinvent her business again Deep summer heat in Spain, and losing rest as a coping tool just as she needed it most The loneliness of long stretches without real human contact, even while being cared for Sitting with the question "what's the lesson in this?" and not forcing an answer Being the homework for the Embodied Leadership Lab — living out loud as the method, not just teaching it A line from the late poet Andrea Gibson, who wrote from her own chemo chair: measuring a life by width, not length Pema Chödrön's words on the "off-center, in-between state" as the actual practice, not an obstacle to it The Discomfort Practice explores the uncomfortable edges where personal growth, leadership, embodiment and systems change intersect. Follow Betsy for more reflections on reinvention, craft, uncertainty and building a life that feels vividly alive. How to get more of Betsy: Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen - and a five-star review always helps Subscribe to Betsy's Substack to get more of her thoughts, in writing: substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy, through 1:1 coaching and Embodied Leadership Lab membership: www.patreon.com/embodiedleadereshiplab and www.embodiedleadershiplab.com  

In this episode of The Discomfort Practice, Betsy is joined by Claire Carpenter - coach, social innovator, entrepreneur, and founder of Scotland's Centre for Social Innovation, The Melting Pot - for a conversation about what it really costs to build something before the world even has language for it. Claire founded The Melting Pot nearly twenty years ago, long before coworking became mainstream and before "social innovation" became a buzzword. Together, Betsy and Claire explore the loneliness, creativity, exhaustion, identity shifts, and deep purpose of being an early pioneer - particularly in the social impact world. They talk candidly about burnout, leadership, the hidden emotional cost of sustaining mission-driven work, and the uncomfortable reality that many nonprofit structures may inadvertently prevent the very change they exist to create. This is a conversation about building community, surviving systems that weren't designed for humans, and what happens when the people trying to make the world better forget they are human too. In This Episode What it feels like to create something before people understand why it matters The early days of coworking and social innovation in Scotland Why pioneering often means spending years swimming against the current The emotional and relational cost of building mission-driven work Leadership, burnout, and learning to care for yourself while caring for a vision How COVID changed Claire's perspective on charities and social impact structures The tension between purpose and exploitation in the nonprofit world Why having your ideas copied is often a sign you've succeeded The shift from building organisations to coaching the humans inside them What social innovators need beyond passion and resilience Final thought: Claire leaves listeners with a challenge she never imagined her younger self would say out loud: "Don't set up a charity." Thoughtful, honest, occasionally spicy, and full of hard-earned wisdom, this is a conversation between two women who have spent decades building things at the edges of leadership, culture, and social change. About Claire Carpenter Claire Carpenter is a coach, social innovator, and entrepreneur with more than thirty years' experience helping people and organisations navigate change. She is the founder and former CEO of The Melting Pot, Scotland's Centre for Social Innovation, and one of Europe's pioneering coworking communities. Today she works with leaders, entrepreneurs, and purpose-driven organisations to help them overcome challenges, lead more sustainably, and create meaningful impact without sacrificing themselves in the process. Find Claire Website: www.clairecarpentercoaching.com Connect With Betsy Subscribe to the podcast and leave a five-star written review wherever you listen to podcasts - it genuinely helps get The Discomfort Practice out into the world. Read and subscribe (don't just follow) Betsy's Substack: @thebetsyreed Work with Betsy - coaching, Embodied Leadership Lab membership, community circles, and People Like Us dinners across Europe: embodiedleadershiplab.com and betsy-reed.com 

What happens after the brave thing? Not six months later. Not when the results are in. Immediately after. In this solo episode of The Discomfort Practice, Betsy reflects on what happened in the hours after launching the very first Embodied Leadership monthly Members' Lab in July 2026. The session itself was deeply moving, but not long after the room closed and her nervous system finally let go of months of holding, an old pattern came rushing in: the urge to burn it all down, disappear, and hide before anyone could reject something deeply personal. Something that truly matters to her. Rather than trying to fix or fight the thoughts, Betsy did what she teaches others to do: she observed them. Because sometimes we're not just teaching the work. We ARE the homework. And, as Betsy has found, in her work teaching embodied leadership, she most often IS the homework for things she passes on to others. In this episode, Betsy explores: Why old narratives often surface immediately after moments of courage The gap between what the body is experiencing and the story the mind creates How exhaustion can muddy the truth Why self-sabotage often arrives disguised as "being realistic" What it means to witness your patterns without becoming them A simple practice for noticing the story that appears after you do something brave If you've ever launched something, had a vulnerable conversation, taken a risk, or finally put yourself out into the world, only to immediately want to retreat, this episode is for you. Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen to podcasts. Work with Betsy Betsy is the founder of Embodied Leadership Lab, where she works with leaders, teams and organisations to develop embodied leadership, nervous system intelligence and capacity and more personally sustainable ways of leading in complexity. Check out Embodied Leadership Lab membership on Patreon Find out more about the work at www.embodiedleadershiplab.com  Subscribe to Betsy's Substack: @thebetsyreed

In this solo episode of The Discomfort Practice, Betsy answers a comment a friend once made — "You never talk about having hobbies" — by unpacking why that's true, and what it reveals about how she actually relates to her own life. The answer isn't that she's hobby-less. It's that she doesn't experience her life as something to escape to something better. She experiences it as a craft — a container she's devoted to, refines, and is shaped by in return. And lately, that craft has had to make room for something she didn't choose: chemotherapy. This episode is about what happens when rest, receiving and doing less become the most demanding practice you've ever undertaken — and why a culture obsessed with visible effort has no real language for the mastery that looks like slowing down. In this episode, Betsy explores: Why she doesn't have 'hobbies' and what that has revealed to her about her relationship to her own life. The difference between a 'hobby' and 'craft' - and why it's not about doing more. How chemotherapy, rest and receiving have become part of her 'craft' of living, not interruptions to it. Why visible effort gets rewarded and invisible work, like healing, integrating and surrender, doesn't. Defining 'letting life carry you' as a different kind of strength. Plus a closing mantra / question to sit with: where are you treating something as an interruption when it can actually be part of making your life a 'craft'? The Discomfort Practice explores the uncomfortable edges where personal growth, leadership, embodiment and systems change intersect. Follow Betsy for more reflections on reinvention, craft, uncertainty and building a life that feels vividly alive. Follow Betsy on Instagram: @thebetsyreed Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen — and a five-star review always helps Join her on Substack, Voice Notes from the Edge: substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy — coaching, the Embodied Leadership Lab membership, community circles, and People Like Us dinners across Europe: www.embodiedleadershiplab.com

In this episode of The Discomfort Practice, Betsy is joined by Katherine Wela Bogen - scholar, activist, storyteller, and self-described "joyful little freak" - for a conversation that refuses to stay in its lane (in the best possible way). Katie, as she's known to her friends, is a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology researching the intersections of bisexual identity, sexual trauma, sexual functioning, and kink. She has published more than 30 peer-reviewed papers, hosts the political podcast Superhumanizer, and has just released her debut novel Queering Him -  the first in the Avra and Kiran trilogy. They talk about the particular loneliness of being a multi-hyphenate; the tension of being a storyteller who is also a rigorous scientist and a justice activist; growing up queer and Jewish in rural Connecticut; the grassroots, intergenerational nature of rural queer organizing; purity culture in activist spaces (yes, that purity culture); and why the internet may be doing something genuinely sick to our capacity for human connection. Oh, and they coin a new term: queer-narc. You're welcome. This is a rich, wide-ranging, deeply honest conversation about sovereignty, disruption, and what it means to hold a fully realized identity in a world that keeps trying to flatten you. In This Episode The tension of being a scholar-activist-storyteller,  and why each community will always think you're betraying the others How the skills we sharpen to keep ourselves safe become our superpowers Signing a "closeting contract" at boarding school, and what that taught Katie about using intellectual excellence as a shield Growing up queer and Jewish in a majority-Christian rural Connecticut town, and the casual antisemitism that surrounded her Holocaust-survivor grandfather How rural queer activism works - whisper networks, safe parents, rainbow sidewalks painted in the dark, and the teachers whose doors you know are open Activist perfectionism and online purity culture: "Why are you being such a cop?" Impact vs intent,  and why a well-meaning neighbour is not your enemy Katie's debut novel Queering Him: two flawed, bisexual adolescents asking the hard questions about desire, kink, fetishization, and queerness,  and why readers who want to cancel fictional teenagers might want to look inward What the kink community models about accountability, community repair, and anti-carceral approaches to harm COVID, the digital age, and what we've lost by moving so much of human life onto a screen Final thought: Don't let the internet take your humanity from you. About Katherine Wela Bogen Katherine Wela Bogen (she/her) is a bisexual, Jewish scholar-activist and storyteller whose work sits at the intersections of consent, kink, pleasure politics, and self-advocacy. She is currently completing her doctoral degree in clinical psychology (NIH-funded research on bisexual identity, sexual trauma, sexual functioning, and kink). She has published more than 30 peer-reviewed papers and hosts the political podcast Superhumanizer. Her public-facing platform is k.w.bogen, where she reaches over 500,000 followers with millions of monthly views. Her debut novel Queering Him - the first in the Avra and Kiran trilogy - is out now. Books two and three follow in January 2027 and January 2028 respectively, with two spin-off novels to follow. Find Katie: Instagram / social: @k.w.bogen Podcast: Superhumanizer Novel: Queering Him (Avra and Kiran trilogy, Book 1) -  available wherever books are sold   Links Mentioned Queering Him by Katherine Wela Bogen (Avra and Kiran trilogy, Book 1) Podcast: Superhumanizer Katie mentioned sharing academic articles on queer rurality in shownotes; check her social platforms for those links   Connect With Betsy Follow Betsy on Instagram: @thebetsyreed Subscribe to the podcast and leave a five-star written review - it genuinely helps get The Discomfort Practice out into the world. Read Betsy's Substack, Voice Notes from the Edge: substack.com/@thebetsyreed Work with Betsy - coaching, the Embodied Leadership Lab membership, community circles, and People Like Us dinners across Europe: embodiedleadershiplab.com  

In this solo episode of The Discomfort Practice, Betsy reflects on the deeply inconvenient timing of becoming wildly, viscerally alive in the middle of grappling with mortality. A few months after a cancer diagnosis and before chemotherapy has even begun, she finds herself blindsided by something she genuinely did not expect: a crush. Not a sensible attraction. A full nervous-system hijack. The kind that turns a self-aware adult woman into a fluttery teenage disaster because someone walks into a room. But beneath the humour is something deeper. This episode explores what happens when the body you've suddenly begun relating to through fear, uncertainty and medical language unexpectedly remembers desire, curiosity, embodiment and aliveness. It's about eros as life force. About mortality sharpening beauty. About the absurdity and sacredness of still being emotionally movable in the middle of the unknown. It's definitely existential, ya'll. In this episode, Betsy explores: Why a crush feels strangely healing during a cancer diagnosis Mortality, identity and the fear of becoming untethered from yourself Erotic aliveness as animating life force The nervous system's refusal to become purely practical Why being deeply affected is sometimes evidence of being deeply alive The Discomfort Practice explores the uncomfortable edges where personal growth, leadership, embodiment and systems change intersect. Follow Betsy for more reflections on reinvention, eros, uncertainty and building a life that feels vividly alive. Follow Betsy on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thebetsyreed Subscribe to The Discomfort Practice wherever you listen to podcasts Join her on Substack at The Betsy Reed: substack.com/thebetsyreed Work with Betsy: www.embodiedleadershiplab.com