People Skills Truths No One Told You with Debra Fileta

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    Have you ever wondered if you can really hear God, or if that's only for the "super spiritual"? You're not alone. If you've ever questioned whether you're missing something, today's conversation will feel like a deep exhale. I’m talking with Pete Greig about hearing God in real life: why it feels hard, how to know if it’s truly Him, and sorting through confusion, delusion, or even deception—without spiraling. We dig into his book How to Hear God: A Simple Guide for Normal People. What I love—it's practical, grounded, and hopeful. If you’ve ever whispered, “God, are You speaking to me?” this episode is for you.   Timestamps:  (05:42) - Talking to God Is Natural—Why Does Listening Feel So Hard? (12:21) - The ABCs of Discernment: How to Recognize When God Is Speaking (17:50) - The Difference Between God’s Word and His Personal Whisper (21:10) - Why Dreams and Visions Mattered in Scripture (26:14) -  Lectio Divina: A Simple, Practical Way to Slow Down and Actually Hear God WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:    How to Hear God: A Simple Guide for Normal People Pete’s App Recommendation - Lectio 365 App Pete’s Song Recommendations - Red & The Land of the Living Pete’s Movie Recommendation - Belfast The Uplift app is here! Try it free for 30 days. I hope you loved this episode! 🎉If you haven’t already, make sure you tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so you never miss an episode. And yes—we’re on YouTube now too! If the show has been a bright spot for you, leaving a review or a few stars is such a gift. It truly means the world to me. Take good care of yourself, and keep showing up with joy. Share this episode with a friend who might enjoy it too! xo, Alli

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    When you set out to do something meaningful, distractions arise. Suddenly, reorganizing the junk drawer, researching new supplements, or learning about kangaroo development becomes urgent. The instant we prepare to stretch ourselves, productivity flares up everywhere except where it truly matters.   That’s resistance. And it’s sneaky. It doesn’t always show up as fear; sometimes it masquerades as productivity—color-coding your pantry before you open your laptop counts. Other times, it takes on a spiritual or strategic tone, suggesting that extra thought or planning is needed.   Resistance wants to block meaningful work. When you feel it, name it and act. Choose your next step and begin now.   Timestamps:  (03:22) - Why Resistance Almost Always Shows Up the Moment You Decide to Do Something That Actually Matters (04:31) - Your Brain Is Wired for Safety, Not Calling (06:56) - Why Resistance Gets Louder the Closer You Get to Breakthrough (08:34) - Even Jesus Felt the Weight of Resistance (09:15) - How to Move Forward When Resistance Is Trying to Take You Out   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:    Wise Woman Era Alli’s Product Recommendation - Jigsaw Health Electrolyte Supreme Start your Free 30-day trial of Uplift!   I hope you loved this episode! 🎉Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you never miss a thing. And guess what? We're on YouTube! If you're loving the content, show us some love by leaving a review and giving us some stars—it means the world to me! Take care, and stay fabulous!    xo, Alli

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    Today I’m talking with my friend Jennifer Dukes Lee about her new book, How to Love Your Morning. Listen in—especially if you’re not a morning person. Don’t worry, this isn’t about becoming a 5 a.m. superhero.   We’re talking about real mornings—messy, sleepy, chaotic. The guilt, comparison, and pressure to get it right. I didn’t have a morning rhythm until 46, so if you feel behind, you’re not alone.   If you’ve scrolled past a perfect Bible-and-coffee photo and thought you’re doing it wrong, or decided mornings aren’t for you, this conversation is a deep exhale. Jennifer reframes mornings honestly and practically.   Timestamps:  (04:21) - Why Scripture Points to Morning as God’s Special Time (07:30) - The 4 Morning Archetypes (And Why Knowing Yours Changes Everything) (12:15) - The Shift from Dreading Your Morning to Actually Loving It (16:37) - What Our Mornings Actually Look Like (21:04) -  Why You Need a Morning Ritual, Not Another Rigid Routine   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:    How to Love Your Morning Jennifer’s Book Recommendation - The Correspondent Product Recommendation - Weighted Vest, Walking Pad, & Asics Wise Woman Era The Uplift app is here! Try it free for 30 days   Take good care of yourself, and keep showing up with joy. Share this episode with a friend who might enjoy it too!   xo, Alli

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    Here’s the thing about wanting more: it stirs in your heart before your mind can understand it. A gentle tug, a holy restlessness, inviting you onward. And often, right after? Guilt. Like desire itself is already a problem.   You remind yourself you’re blessed. You’ve practiced gratitude. You could name a hundred gifts without taking a breath. Yet, even with all this, something in you is rising — inviting you to listen. Instead of shrinking the dream or editing your hopes, imagine trusting that longing. Don’t swallow the desire; let it bloom. Hope is not ingratitude—it’s a celebration of possibility.   But that guilt isn’t the truth. Today, we’re naming why it shows up, what’s happening inside you when desire feels dangerous, and why that pull toward more might not be selfish at all. It might actually be the most faithful, God‑honoring thing about you.   Timestamps: (03:57) - Why Your Body Treats Desire Like a Threat (06:48) - Gratitude and Ambition Can Coexist (You Don’t Have to Choose) (08:44) - The Apology Reflex: Why You Shrink Before Anyone Asks You To (10:22) - God Doesn’t Shame Your Dreams, He Plants Them and Walks With You (11:15) - Small, Brave Steps to Honor What You Actually Want   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:    Wise Woman Era Alli’s TV Recommendation - The Leftovers Start your Free 30-day trial of Uplift!   I hope you loved this episode! 🎉Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you never miss a thing. And guess what? We're on YouTube! If you're loving the content, show us some love by leaving a review and giving us some stars—it means the world to me! Take care, and stay fabulous!    xo, Alli

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    Today I’m talking with Justin Whitmel Earley about his new book, The Body Teaches the Soul. This conversation will challenge how you think about spiritual growth, especially if faith feels disconnected from your daily life. If peace feels distant and faith remains in your head, stay with me.   Maybe you’re doing all the “right” things: praying, reading your Bible, and showing up sincerely. Yet your shoulders stay tight, your mind won’t slow down, and anxiety lingers, despite your efforts.   Justin clarifies that true spiritual experience is shaped by your physical actions, not just beliefs. He shares two essential daily practices for unlocking concrete spiritual transformation.   If you’ve ever felt spiritually “off” but can’t quite name it, this episode will give you practical tools and language to identify what’s missing. You’ll gain concrete, actionable steps for connecting your faith to your daily life, so you can finally experience greater clarity, relief, and a deeper sense of peace.   Timestamps: (08:08) - How Movement and Exercise Shape Our Souls, Not Just Our Bodies (10:50) - Why Anxiety Often Lives in the Body Before the Mind Ever Notices (14:44) - Why Breathing Might Be One of the Most Spiritual Practices You’re Ignoring (22:58) - How Technology Is Quietly Rewiring Our Bodies (and Not in a Good Way) (26:11) - The Surprisingly Powerful Habit of Turning Your Phone Off for One Hour   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:    The Body Teaches The Soul Justin’s Song Recommendation - Honey by The Lone Bellow Justin’s TV Recommendation - Silo  Justin’s Product Recommendation - Flask Coffee Press Maker Justin’s Book Recommendations - Dopamine Nation & Demon Cooperhead Wise Woman Era The Uplift app is here! Try it free for 30 days I hope you loved this episode! 🎉 Don't forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you’re always in the loop. And hey, while you're at it, why not pop over to our YouTube channel and check us out? If you're feeling the love, leave a review and sprinkle some stars—your support truly means the world to me! Take care, and keep shining bright!    xo, Alli

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    Would you believe me if I told you January straight‑up lied to you? She’s that over-caffeinated friend who barges in, drinks your fancy coffee, urges you to start a podcast and a side hustle, reorganizes your pantry, and leaves you with a mess. That’s not discipline. That’s chaos in a cute outfit.   Here’s the good news: by the end of this episode, you’ll understand how to turn so‑called "failed" resolutions into momentum, using an easy four‑step framework that will help you make Decision‑Fatigue March your most productive, sustainable month yet.   Your momentum didn’t fizzle out because you’re lazy. It’s because January‑You, a motivational hologram, disappears when real life hits. March‑You are here, making real decisions. Today, we’ll build her a plan that works.   Timestamps: (00:48) - Why Momentum Actually Dies (03:26) - The Comfort–Discomfort Cycle That Quietly Kills Consistency (05:07) - Why Momentum Was Never Meant to Be a Solo Sport (08:06) - The Spiritual Reason the Middle Is Where Growth Happens (09:21) - The 4-Step Framework for Building Momentum That Actually Lasts   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE Links to great things we discussed:  Wise Woman Era Alli’s Product Recommendation - ZUTY Athletic Running Shorts Start your Free 30-day trial of Uplift! Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns  I hope you loved this episode! 🎉If you haven’t already, make sure you tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so you never miss an episode. And yes—we’re on YouTube now too! If the show has been a bright spot for you, leaving a review or a few stars is such a gift. It truly means the world to me. Take good care of yourself, and keep showing up with joy. Share this episode with a friend who might enjoy it too! xo,   Alli

Apply to Alli's Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns    Today I’m talking with my friend Debra Fileta about her new book, People Skills, and why many relationships seem harder than they should. If you’ve ever left a conversation thinking, That’s not what I meant, there’s a reason—and it’s not because you’re unkind or uncaring.   This episode is for the try‑hard people. The ones who show up with good hearts and good intentions, yet still feel misunderstood. If you’ve ever thought, My heart is in the right place, so why does my message keep landing sideways? This conversation is going to feel like a deep exhale.   Debra explains why good intentions don’t guarantee good communication, how to avoid being an accidental jerk (even the nicest people can be), and the four stages of conversation most people never move past. We discuss why vulnerability builds trust and how small shifts in awareness can transform how people experience you. It’s honest, freeing, and will make every relationship in your life feel more open and connected.   Timestamps: (01:08) - Why We’re So Quick to Label Other People as the Problem (04:38) - The Subtle Ways We Accidentally Damage Connection Without Realizing It (17:35) - The Conversation Levels That Separate Surface Talk from Real Connection (22:10) - The Three People Skills That Matter More Than Anything Else (25:53) - Why Listening Is Harder Than We Think    WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE Links to great things we discussed:  Debra’s Song Recommendation - The Goodness of God Debra’s TV Recommendations - The Great British Baking Show & Hometown Debra’s Book Recommendation - The Circle Maker Wise Woman Era People Skills Apply to Alli's Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns 

Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns   What if your house is quietly gaslighting you into believing you’re still the 2021 version of yourself? Stay with me. Many of us are living inside a museum exhibit called "The Woman I Used to Be."   But this isn't just about your house. Digital spaces—outgrown apps, stagnant group chats, and endless feeds—reflect who you were, not who you are. Relationships and routines may be draining energy from outdated versions of yourself. Even old mental patterns can prevent you from recognizing your transformation.   It's no surprise you feel stuck or guilty. You're ready to grow, but your surroundings keep you tethered to your past. Today, we'll explore ways to let your environment evolve so you can keep moving forward.   Timestamps: (03:38)- Identity Lag & the Ghosts of Who You Used to Be (05:17)- When Your Environment Is Designed for Everyone but You (07:08) - How Environmental Friction Keeps You Stuck (and How to Fix It) (11:46)- Your Phone Is a Room — and It’s Shaping You (13:32) - Practical Steps to Build an Environment That Supports Who You’re Becoming WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:  Wise Woman Era Alli’s App Recommendation - Upright Posture App Start your Free 30-day trial of Uplift! Join Alli’s Intern Program - https://alliworthington.com/interns   I hope you loved this episode! 🎉If you haven’t already, make sure you tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so you never miss an episode. And yes—we’re on YouTube now too! If the show has been a bright spot for you, leaving a review or a few stars is such a gift. It truly means the world to me. Take good care of yourself, and keep showing up with joy. Share this episode with a friend who might enjoy it too!   xo, Alli

Join the Internship! https://alliworthington.com/interns    Today’s Valentine’s Day episode is all about love, communication, and why relationships can feel absolutely magical one minute… and wildly confusing the next. I’m sitting down with Dr. Gary Chapman to dig into what’s really going on when love isn’t landing the way you hoped and why even the best intentions can still miss the mark.   If you’ve worked hard at connection but felt like you and your partner speak past each other, this episode is for you. We’ll name the hidden tensions behind mixed signals, silent hurts, and "I’m fine" moments to highlight what really disconnects us—often before arguments arise.   We explore how a single negative moment can outweigh positives, how your unique personality shapes love languages, and how to spot when your partner’s love tank is low—before it’s too late. If you’ve wondered, "Why does love still feel hard?" this episode will clarify what’s behind relational struggles and offer tools for understanding.   Timestamps: (07:44) - How Your Personality Shapes the Way Love Lands (10:15) - The Fastest Ways We Accidentally Drain Each Other’s Love Tanks (13:55) - The Quiet Warning Signs a Love Tank Is Dropping Before Anyone Says a Word (18:40) - Why Empathy Changes Everything (and How to Strengthen It) (26:20) -  One Simple Shift That Fills Each Other’s Love Tanks Faster   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE Links to great things we discussed:    Wise Woman Era The Love Language That Matters Most The Uplift app is here! Try it free for 30 days. Join Alli’s Internship – https://alliworthington.com/interns I hope you loved this episode! 🎉If you haven’t already, make sure you tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so you never miss an episode. And yes—we’re on YouTube now too! If the show has been a bright spot for you, leaving a review or a few stars is such a gift. It truly means the world to me. Take good care of yourself, and keep showing up with joy. Share this episode with a friend who might enjoy it too! xo,   Alli

Subscribe to Alli's New Substack - Wise Woman Method    You don’t need confidence to start. You need evidence. Tiny actions. Brave reps. Faithful little steps that give your brain something solid to hold onto. Proof that says, We’ve done hard things before. We can do this again. Confidence isn’t the prerequisite. It’s the fruit of showing up long before you feel ready.   Most of us stay stuck because we’re waiting to feel qualified, healed, calm, or magically fearless. We dress it up and call it wisdom, strategy, or “just praying about it a little longer.” But deep down, we know the truth: that perfect, confident moment we’re hoping for never actually arrives.   Confidence doesn’t get you moving. Courage does. Confident women don’t start being confident. They start wobbly, unsure, and a little sweaty. They take the next right step anyway. Over time, they build a history of bravery. A stack of real-life evidence that whispers, I survived that uncomfortable thing. I can do the next one too. And that evidence, not a quote or a pep talk, is what finally grows confidence that lasts.   Timestamps: (00:58) - You Don’t Need Confidence to Start, You Need Evidence (02:29) - Why Confidence Grows From Real Data (03:30) - How Your Brain Is Always Collecting Proof About Who You Are (06:03) - Confidence is Optional, But Courage is Commanded (08:07) - Practical Ways to Build Evidence Instead of Waiting to Feel Ready   WATCH ALLI  ON YOUTUBE   Links to great things we discussed:    Alli’s Product Recommendation - LimonCello La Croix Wise Woman Era- Join Alli's Substack Start your Free 30-day trial of Uplift! I hope you loved this episode! 🎉Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you never miss a thing. And guess what? We're on YouTube! If you're loving the content, show us some love by leaving a review and giving us some stars—it means the world to me! Take care, and stay fabulous!    xo,   Alli