Hey hey! We’ve all had times when we wanted to quit, but why do some people lean in and stick with it when others check out? The answer to that question may surprise you!
My friend Bianca Juarez Olthoff wrote the book on grit and resilience, and we had a fantastic conversation about just that. What she learned while writing this book is both fascinating and encouraging, and I can’t wait for you to hear it!
Bianca is a Bible teacher, host of the “We’re Going There” podcast, and author of three books, including her newest, Grit Don’t Quit: Developing Resilience and Faith When Giving Up Isn’t an Option. She is passionate about helping people live counter-culturally and significantly.
Bianca and I don’t hold back today!
Lean in and listen as we discuss:
The lost art of perseverance in a world where most things are easy and fast
Encouragement (and a permission slip!) for when you feel behind
3 key elements of resilience (the best news: these are 3 things we can learn and practice)
3 people you should meet with before you decide to quit anything
What kills our grit (and how to protect it)
Why our thought lives matter more than we know
- And don't miss Bianca's challenge results in the P. S. at the end of the show notes!
- “The best things in life will cost you the most and take you the longest.”
- “Keep going! Just because it is hard doesn’t mean you're not supposed to do it. Good things are hard.”
- “There are three key elements to people who are resilient and they are learnable and actionable.”
- “Can you find a purpose for this season and make the most of it? Those are the people that are the grittiest and successful.”
- “Our mind matters so let’s make sure we are mindful of what we are thinking.”
- "Bet on yourself and invest in yourself. It is the one investment that is going to pay you back 100 times and you can’t lose."
Coaching this week:
What is the best investment you can make in your business? (34:43)
Links to great things we discussed:
You Will Be Saved - Elevation Rhythm
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
P.S. Face Oil Challenge results: After a week of trials, the surprise results are in and Bianca isn't using face oil anymore! Stay tuned for more of my favorite recommendations in each episode of the show.
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How to Rest with John Mark Comer
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49:12What would it look like to cut hurry out of our lives? Is that even an option for us? If slowing down is a desire of your heart that feels like a pipe dream, join me for a conversation with John Mark Comer. John Mark gives us hope that it’s possible and practical tips to help us get there! John Mark Comer is the Founder and Teacher of Practicing the Way, a discipleship pathway to becoming like Jesus in community. Before starting Practicing the Way, John Mark pastored Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, for nearly twenty years. John Mark is a husband, a father of three, and a New York Times bestselling author who has written six books. His book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry is at the heart of our conversation today. Lean in and listen as John Mark and I discuss: The Biblical theology of work Why Sabbath is important, but it’s not the end goal How practicing spiritual habits (including Sabbath!) points our hearts to the love of God Two different kinds of busyness and how each affects our souls Why hurry is incompatible with love, joy, and peace The first place to start as you begin to practice rest and Sabbath Favorite quotes: “The two major areas where we actually follow Jesus and work out our spiritual formation are family or close interpersonal relationships and work.” “We need as a general rule practices that help us slow down and break out of the mad rush through life.” “Sabbath is a practice by which we cultivate a spirit of restfulness. It’s not just one day of the week but seven days of the week.” “The goal is to become the kind of person in whom literally in our body, in our muscle memory, we have become people of rest.” “Love, joy, and peace are incompatible with hurry.” “Start where you are, not where you feel you should be.” Coaching this week: The Compound Effect (42:05) Links to great things we discussed: John Mark Comer Website John Mark Comer Instagram The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry Garden City God Has a Name Favela The Crown Educated Open Orgain Organic Keto Vegan Protein Powder Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Remaining You While Raising Them Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli
How to Live Life on Purpose with Tanya Dalton
53:44Have you ever wondered how to get more out of your days? More productivity, more purpose, more progress…what’s the secret to getting there? You are not going to want to miss my conversation with Tanya Dalton that I’m sharing again this week. Tanya was a stay-at-home mom who started her first business with $50. Since then, she has founded inkWELL Press Productivity Co., a multi-million dollar company that helps people overcome overwhelm and maximize success. Tanya’s first book, The Joy of Missing Out, was named a Top 10 Business Book of the Year by Fortune Magazine. Her second book, On Purpose: The Busy Woman’s Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success, is a guide to becoming the best version of yourself. Join Tanya and I as we talk about: Why the typical “5 year plan” doesn’t work How to set the right goals for the life you want to have (and how to actually reach those goals) 3 things to do for a habit reset if we find ourselves off track Why people who love us sometimes don’t buy into our dreams One strategy for going under the surface and getting to the root of limiting beliefs Why balance isn’t what we are striving for after all Favorite quotes: “The goals that you set for yourself need to be aligned with that vision that you have.” “It is the small steps that bring you joy and get the momentum.” “The most important person to get buy-in from is you. You have to believe in yourself before anyone else will.” “When we create an action roadmap we give ourselves the directions of where we want to go next.” “Overwhelm isn’t having too much to do. It’s not knowing where to start. When we know where to start we become empowered and confident.” “Productivity isn’t about doing more. It is about doing what is most important.” “There is no balance. We are chasing our tails and wearing ourselves out trying to get it.” Coaching this week: The Big 5 Personality Test (43:25) Links to great things we discussed: Tanya Dalton Website Tanya Dalton Instagram The Joy of Missing Out On Purpose: The Busy Woman’s Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success The Intentional Advantage Podcast The Beatles Ted Lasso Voxer Asana Big 5 Personality Test Atlas: Enneagram - Sleeping at Last Pat McGrath PermaGel Eyeliner Pencil Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli www.alliworthington.com
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How to Trust God More
41:02How to Trust God More If you want to trust God, but you’re just not sure how to do that, this episode will be a game-changer for you and your faith. Our lives are busier than ever, with our attention being pulled in every direction. Not to mention the steady stream of unsettling, and sometimes scary, news that’s at our fingertips all day long. It can be hard to remember that God is always faithful, even when we feel afraid or out of sorts. In today’s episode, I’m sharing some of my favorite moments with amazing Bible teachers who help us remember who God is and why we can always trust Him. Join us as we talk about: How understanding God’s holiness helps us trust Him with Jackie Hill Perry Daily practices for seasons of pain with Sheila Walsh Where to go in Scripture when we are struggling with doubt with Nicki Koziarz Favorite quotes: ~ “We need people in our lives to impart wisdom and we need people in our lives that we can impart wisdom to.” - Jackie Hill Perry ~ “You are going to go through life trying to find a whole bunch of ways to understand yourself and the world around you but it is always going to fail you until you get to know God.” - Jackie Hill Perry ~ “We all want life to be a quick fix and some things are not.” - Sheila Walsh ~ “There is something about quiet and not feeling obliged to fill up the space with noise and just knowing my Father gets it.” - Sheila Walsh ~ “For every hard thing that you and I will go through there is already someone in the scriptures who has overcome it.” - Nicki Koziarz ~ “God is in charge of the plan. I am in control of my obedience.” - Nicki Koziarz Coaching this week: Mind Mapping (31:03) Links to great things we discussed: Jackie Hill Perry Website Jackie Hill Perry Instagram Holier Than Thou Sheila Walsh Website Sheila Walsh Instagram Holding On When You Want to Let Go Nicki Koziarz Website Nicki Koziarz Instagram Flooded Mind Node Paperlike Killers of the Flower Moon Firm Foundation - Maverick City Music The Ordinary Soothing & Barrier Support Serum Apply for a Free Coaching Call with Alli Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli
How to Level Up Your Life
56:01How to Level Up Your Life How can I make the smartest possible decisions? Can I create habits that will actually stick this time? What would it look like to prioritize what really matters to me? If questions like these have come to mind lately, you’re not alone! I’ve pulled together some of the best tips, life hacks, and advice we’ve gotten here on the show to bring you one episode that will help you level up your life! You don’t need to overhaul your life, because leveling up is actually about starting small. Lean in and listen as we talk about: 5 questions to ask yourself for better decision-making with Andy Stanley How our habits and our identity are connected with Mark Batterson Why naming what matters to you is essential to living your priorities with Kendra Adachi Favorite quotes: “The season you are in right now is really just a chapter in the whole story of your life and so one of the most important questions we can ask when we’re making decisions within a specific chapter is what story do I want to tell.” “There is a fundamental relationship between good decisions and good questions.” “My decisions really are the steering wheel of our lives. It is our super power. We get to decide how to move our lives forward.” “You have to 3M your habits. You have to make them measurable, meaningful, and maintainable.” “You need some people in your life who believe in you more than you believe in yourself.” “We think that starting small doesn’t make any difference but if you don’t start small you usually don’t start at all.” “Essentializing is about removing the things that don’t matter so we can give space, attention, and receive the joy from the things that do.” Coaching this week: Mindset Shift that Helps with Self-Belief and Overcoming Challenges (45:31) Links to great things we discussed: Andy Stanley Website Andy Stanley Instagram Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets Mark Batterson Website Mark Batterson Instagram Do It for a Day Kendra Adachi Website Kendra Adachi Instagram Goodness of God - CeCe Winans NIRA Pro Laser & Serum Collection Save $105 with Code - ALLI10 Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://www.alliworthington.com/podcast
How to Use the Enneagram to Get Emotionally Healthy with Bill and Kristi Gaultiere
33:15Is the Enneagram just another personality test trend, or is it a truly helpful tool? Is it okay for Christians to use the Enneagram? Why are so many people afraid of using the Enneagram? Whether you love the Enneagram or are skeptical, stick around, because Drs. Bill and Kristi Gaultiere are here to help us process and move towards emotional health! Bill is a psychologist, Kristi is a marriage and family therapist, and together, they have counseled and ministered to people for thirty years. In 2009, they co-founded Shepherding the Soul, a nonprofit ministry that helps people discover and take their next steps toward Jesus, emotional health, and loving relationships. Bill and Kristi’s newest book, Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith: Growing Emotionally and Spiritually through the Enneagram, is a roadmap to help us go from knowing our personality type to growing in wholeness, health, and love. Lean in and listen as Bill, Kristi, and I discuss: Why people of faith are often resistant when it comes to doing emotional work How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy selfishness Using the Enneagram as a discipleship tool Two things that lead to change (and how one of those pulls us towards being more like Jesus) The difference between caretaking and people-pleasing Favorite quotes: “Our emotions influence our faith.” “Emotions are valuable and God given.” “The healthier we are in ourselves, the healthier our faith can be.” “Jesus is the perfection of each of the Enneagram types.” “There are two things that lead to change - pain pushers or vision pulls.” “The Enneagram is helping us get under the surface into some stuff that is broken, painful, and unhealthy that we need to look at.” Coaching this week: The Secret to Getting Motivated (25:28) Links to great things we discussed: Bill and Kristi Gaultiere Website Bill and Kristi Gaultiere Instagram Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith: Growing Emotionally and Spiritually through the Enneagram Jesus, Name Above All Names - Naida Hearn Where To Find Me - Jet Trouble A Man Called Otto Shadowlands Immune Boost My Utmost for His Highest Dumb Money Old Navy High-Waisted Pull-On Pixie Wide-Leg Pants Remaining You While Raising Them Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://www.alliworthington.com/podcast
How to Avoid the Five Mistakes that Hold Women Back with Lisa Whittle
58:54In January 2020, I started Called Creatives with my friend and co-founder, Lisa Whittle, because we want to give other women what we did not have when we were starting out writing and speaking. We are celebrating today because Called Creatives is open for new members! This only happens twice a year, and I’m so excited for all of the women who will join us! If writing and speaking are dreams in your heart, you may be surprised to learn that they are crafts that anyone can learn. Lisa and I teach you what we’ve learned along the way. And we do it in a place where you can find community with women who get it. Called Creatives is that place! Lisa and I recently got together for a Called Creatives Getaway. While there, we took some time to talk about five things we see that hold women back. We dove into why these five things are so prevalent and what we can do about them. Join Lisa and I as we talk about: Why you don’t actually need people to believe in your dreams, and what you really need instead How isolation feeds our self-doubt Why Lisa says there is no such thing as self-promotion One great gift that can be found in failure The impact of a growth mindset on your success Favorite quotes: “Self doubt will stop you before you ever get started. You should not wait for the day you are going to feel completely confident.” “You don’t need people to believe in your dream. You need them to believe in you.” “It is key to get people around you to overcome that self-doubt.” “Writing and speaking is an art and a craft that can be learned. You are not born knowing how to do it.” “The wise person always says where can I grow. There is never a moment that there isn’t something else to learn.” “It is never going to be the right time. It is never going to feel perfect. You are never going to feel confident but if you just keep going in the right direction you are going to get there.” “All you really have to do is get the small wins. When you add up enough of the small wins you will find that you actually made a lot of forward progress.” Coaching this week: Aligning Your Actions with Your Values (50:10) Links to great things we discussed: Lisa Whittle Website Lisa Whittle Instagram Called Creatives U2 at the Sphere Where the Streets Have No Name - U2 Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli
How to Think About God’s Hiddenness with Lee Strobel
39:58200 times per second, someone searches online to find the answer to the question, “Is God real?” Atheist journalist-turned-Christian apologist Lee Strobel is here to talk with me about that crazy statistic (200 times per second?!), the answer to that big question, and the opportunity we have as believers. Called “one of the evangelical community’s most popular apologists” by the Washington Post, Lee is the New York Times bestselling author of more than forty books. Lee and his wife, Leslie, have two adult children and live in Houston. In his newest book, Is God Real?: Exploring the Ultimate Question of Life, Lee gives a rational exploration of the proof of God’s existence. Lean in and listen as Lee and I discuss: What Lee found surprising in his research for this book Two big objections people have to God’s existence (and the reasoned answers we find in research to those) How we can better understand the hiddenness of God Encouraging trends among sometimes-discouraging statistics around faith Favorite quotes: “I am finding that physics, cosmology, the origin of the universe, and even genetics is putting powerfully towards the truth of scripture.” “Sometimes we think we are open to encountering or investigating God when in reality we hold back.” “God he has to walk a fine line. He has to make himself apparent so that we can find him if we seek him but also he has to remain hidden to some degree otherwise he overwhelms us and it takes away our free choice.” “We need to be ready to give an answer to anyone that asks about the hope we have.” “Our children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren are going to be challenged on their faith in a way that other generations have not been and so we need to prepare ourselves so we can help prepare them to be able to know not just what we believe but why we believe it.” Coaching this week: Secret for Not Having to Rely on Self Discipline (27:13) Links to great things we discussed: Lee Strobel Website Lee Strobel Instagram Lee Strobel Twitter Strobel Center Is God Real?: Exploring the Ultimate Question of Life Gloria - The Shadows of Knight A Case for Christ Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity Only Murders in the Building I Thank God - JWLKRS Worship feat. Blake Wiggins and Ryan Ellis | Housefires Egg Cooker Alli’s Internship Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli
How to Develop Better Boundaries
44:55How can I know if my boundaries are healthy? Is it okay to have boundaries in the first place? I know I need boundaries, but where and how do I start? Do these questions sound familiar? As women, we have so many questions about boundaries- what they are, how we put them in place, and if it is selfish to have them- and this episode is here to help! Today’s show features some of the best advice I’ve ever received from experts on boundaries. I wanted to share it all with you, all in one place. Boundaries are there to help you (and the people you love!) thrive, and by the end of this show, you’ll see how they do just that! Join us as we learn about: Why boundaries are more than a good idea (because they’re God’s idea!) with Lysa TerKeurst The difference between being approachable and being accessible with Sasha Shillcutt How to spot toxicity in others (and in our ourselves) with Gary Thomas Favorite quotes: “Boundaries are not just a good idea. They are God’s idea. He established the foundations of the world using boundaries. ” “Where there is chaos there is usually a lack of boundaries and a need for more intentional boundaries or healthy boundaries to be put in place.” “A boundary without a consequence is nothing but a bad suggestion.” “If you don’t have boundaries in your life, someone will have them for you.” “We want to be women who are approachable. It doesn’t mean we have to be women who are always accessible.” “I walk away from toxic people not to go binge Netflix. I walk away to invest with reliable people. I walk from toxic relationships into healthy relationships.” Coaching this week: Assume Positive Intent (33:40) Links to great things we discussed: Lysa TerKeurst Website Lysa TerKeurst Instagram Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are Sasha Shillcutt Website Sasha Shillcutt Instagram Gary Thomas Website Gary Thomas Instagram When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People A Haunting in Venice Only Murders in the Building A1A - Jimmy Buffett Beaded Stretch Bracelet Set 5pc - Universal Thread™ Gold Remaining You While Raising Them Alli’s Internship Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://www.alliworthington.com/podcast
How to Have Happier Friendships
35:51Friendship is not always easy. This is true for all phases of life, but especially as adults! How do we, as grown-ups, do friendship well? Where is this “village” of friends we’ve all heard so much about? What does it look like when friendships are healthy? If you’ve ever asked questions like these or struggled with friendship (and haven’t we all?!), today’s episode is for you! I have pulled together some of my favorite conversations on friendship to bring you the best of friendship today. Whether you are starting over in a new place or you’ve had the same handful of friends for years, these insights will benefit friendships in all different stages! Lean in close as we talk about : Why it really is okay (and even good) for friendships to have different levels of depth with Laura Tremaine Building your village with Jennie Allen The difference between self-preservation and good boundaries with Andi Andrew Favorite quotes: “We have so many ideas of what women's friendships should be. You need to have people that are bringing different things to the table. It is not all heart to hearts and margaritas.” “When we expect to disappoint people and we expect them to disappoint us there is a lot more grace in the world to mess up and work it out.” “Everything about friendship is awkward. There is no getting around it. In that awkwardness has been the richest part of life.” “Boundaries are about valuing ourselves and others, so when we practice healthy boundaries we are empowered to build healthy relationships that are grounded in love.” Coaching this week: How you present yourself to the world and why it matters. (30:28) Links to great things we discussed: Remaining You While Raising Them Alli’s Internship Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://alliworthington.com/podcast
How to Take Care of Yourself- The Easy Way
37:56What is the secret to real self-care? How can we move from self-care to soul care? If you’re feeling burned out or overwhelmed, or maybe you’re just going through the motions, this episode is for you! Today’s show features one of my favorite chapters from my newest book, Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood, and it’s all about one magic question that will change how you care for yourself. If you are not a mom or are not actively in your mothering years, I hope you’ll stick around! The magic question we are talking about today is something that will help you in every season of life. Join me for this chapter to hear: Why so many women struggle with what it looks like to take care of ourselves One magic question you can ask to help you care for yourself in a practical way A modification to the magic question if you find it hard to answer (most women do, especially at first!) Six things to consider when you’re deciding if someone’s opinion has merit in your life The permission slip you may need to have your needs met Favorite quotes: “Slacker parenting” was my tongue-in-cheek way of saying that parents have permission to focus on the majors, not the minors. Not every little thing has to be perfect.” “We do not have to play by anyone else’s rules or live up to their expectations.” “Our biggest issue is asking ourselves what we need.” “As we mother our children, we need to learn to mother ourselves too.” “My relationship with God is the most fulfilling thing in my life. My family brings me deep joy and happiness but my relationship with God gives my life meaning and purpose.” “Asking “What do I need right now?” is a smart first step in getting your needs met.” “The magic question will not only help you survive motherhood, it will also help you thrive in light of the promise that God sees your needs and supplies them.” Coaching this week: How to shift your mindset for perspective and freedom. (28:23) Links to great things we discussed: Remaining You While Raising Them The Coach School The Coach School Instagram 3 Secrets to Become a Successful Coach Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here. Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli https://www.alliworthington.com