17. The Hidden Cost of Being ‘Helpful’: Break Free from People-Pleasing at Work

Learn how to quiet your racing mind and overcome chronic worry at work with clinical psychologist Nick Wignall. If you struggle with workplace anxiety, overthinking every email, or constantly second-guessing your decisions, this episode provides practical strategies to break free from the worry cycle. What You’ll Discover: The subtle, sneaky causes of anxiety that most people never notice at workHow to tell the difference between a worry and worrying (and why it matters for your career)The most underrated solution to workplace worry that has nothing to do with breathing exercisesHow to actually stop your mind from racing when you're spiraling about workAbout Nick: Nick Wignall is a board-certified clinical psychologist. He currently works as a coach for anxious high-achievers and runs a leadership consulting firm, Loom. His newsletter, The Friendly Mind, reaches 50,000+ people each week and shares practical, evidence-based advice for emotional health and wellbeing. https://nickwignall.com/ Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

🚨Get on the free waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader™, Melody’s new program to help you become a crisp, clear, confident communicator. Head to https://speaklikeaseniorleader.com. You can be highly competent and still not come across that way. You can be clear in your head and still unintentionally confuse, frustrate, or undersell yourself without even realizing it. In this episode, Melody gives you the behind-the-scenes look at how her brand-new program Speak Like a Senior Leader™ came to be and breaks down the 6 subtle communication mistakes that might be keeping you from developing the executive presence and gravitas that makes decision-makers trust you with bigger opportunities. What You’ll Discover: The silent reason your expertise isn't translating into influence (even if everyone says you're doing a great job)The six sneaky habits that make even high performers sound like mid-level contributors instead of strategic leadersOne innocent-sounding sentence that instantly signals “not ready for the next level” (and what to say instead)Why most senior leaders don’t answer the question they’re asked, and why that makes them MORE effective, not evasiveThe communication pattern that makes you sound scattered, even when your thinking is crystal clearGet on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

Criticism at work only gets harsher and more frequent the higher you climb – not easier or less. That’s why in this episode Melody shares strategies to take feedback seriously without taking it personally (none of which requires superhuman zen). You'll learn how to handle difficult conversations in a way that both projects executive presence and safeguards your confidence.  What You’ll Discover: How to decode what criticism reveals about workplace politics, power dynamics, and hidden agendasHow to separate someone's communication style from the actual content of their feedbackWhy you should never act on a leader’s input until you do THIS (and no, it’s not “ask questions”)The specific scripts to use when you're blindsided by criticism and need to calm downGet on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

Author Sabina Nawaz joins Melody to explore why pressure, not power, is what truly derails even the most well-intentioned leaders. They unpack simple tools like the Yes List and Multiple Meanings to help you lead with clarity, even when you’re overwhelmed.What You’ll Discover: Sneaky ways pressure warps your thinking, behavior, and relationships at workThe first thing to do when you feel like you’re barely keeping your head above waterHow to build your “pressure capacity” so challenges don’t derail your success About Sabina NawazSabina Nawaz is an elite executive coach who advises C-level executives and teams at Fortune 500 corporations, government agencies, nonprofits, and academic institutions around the world. During her fourteen-year tenure at Microsoft, she went from managing software development teams to leading the company’s executive development and succession planning efforts for over 11,000 managers and nearly a thousand executives, advising Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer directly. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

You're on top of your work, but part of you is always checking – did that land? Did my boss like it? In this episode, Melody explains how constantly seeking your boss's approval drains your confidence and what to do about it. In this episode, she gets into what happens when your focus shifts from doing your job to managing someone else’s reaction. What You’ll Discover: How to differentiate managing up from approval seeking Why your boss's approval never actually satisfies youThe seemingly innocent habit that's secretly broadcasting your insecurity to everyoneThe "filter not sponge" approach that transforms how others’ input affects youHow "I know my worth" can become a trap if it's your only strategyConnect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

Most of us weren't taught how to handle workplace stress, difficult colleagues, or career setbacks. We just figure it out as we go—sometimes successfully, sometimes not. In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt breaks down what she calls "emotional fitness" and why it matters in our work lives. Based on fifteen years of research with professionals across industries, her new book "Flex Your Feelings" offers a refreshingly practical approach to strengthening our emotional health. Dr. Anhalt shares simple exercises you can use to build resilience and connection in everyday work situations, from tense meetings to performance reviews.What You’ll Discover: Why treating your emotions like muscles you can train changes everything about how you handle workplace stressHow to spot the telltale signs of emotional "unfitness" before they derail your careerPractical "emotional pushups" that Emily has taught top Silicon Valley executivesAbout Dr. Emily Anhalt  Dr. Emily Anhalt is a clinical psychologist, keynote speaker, author, and cofounder of Coa, the gym for mental health. For the past fifteen years, Dr. Anhalt has worked clinically with executives, founders, and high-performers, and has conducted extensive research with prominent psychologists and entrepreneurs about how leaders can improve their emotional fitness. Dr. Anhalt has collaborated with companies like Google, Salesforce, NBCUniversal, NASDAQ, and the NBA, and her debut book, Flex Your Feelings (published with Penguin Randomhouse) is available now.Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

🚨 Enrollment is now open for the next cohort of Melody’s signature program RESILIENT. Secure your spot: https://melodywilding.com/resilient"I'm good at what I do." Imagine how it would feel to say those words out loud – and actually believe them. Today you’ll meet Grainne, who after decades of "emotional hangovers" and perfectionism, finally learned to trust her expertise through RESILIENT. She shares how she went from constantly questioning her value to confidently stating "I'm very good at what I do.” Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

🚨 Enrollment is now open for the next cohort of Melody’s signature program RESILIENT. Secure your spot: https://melodywilding.com/resilient Do you find yourself lying awake at night replaying work conversations in your head? Are you exhausted from feeling everything deeply while colleagues seem to effortlessly brush things off? In this eye-opening episode, Melody Wilding and her co-coach Wendy Cary, PCC unpack why you're stuck in a cycle of overwhelm, perfectionism, and self-doubt – despite your talent and dedication. They reveal a model that can help you finally pinpoint the root causes of your struggles, understand the biological basis of your sensitivity, and transform what feels like a professional liability into your greatest advantage. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Get on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

🚨 Enrollment is now open for the next cohort of Melody’s signature program RESILIENT. Secure your spot: https://melodywilding.com/resilientIn this episode, you’ll hear from recent RESILIENT alumni, Rebecca, who spent years being her team’s "spray foam" – filling every gap and putting everyone else's needs before her own. Rebecca reveals how she tripled her assertiveness score, advocated for a leadership position, and finally designed a role that honors her ambition and sensitivity.You'll hear how Rebecca transformed her perfectionism and fear of disappointing others into the confidence to set clear boundaries, including how she:Stopped letting guilt drive her reactions to workplace demandsDirectly asked for a formal management role after decades of informal leadershipLearned to trust her social capital instead of "reinventing relationship rules" dailyStarted teaching people how to treat her through clear communicationGet on the waitlist for Speak Like a Senior Leader. Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up

🚨 Enrollment is now open for the next cohort of Melody’s signature program RESILIENT. Secure your spot: https://melodywilding.com/resilientAre you the one who notices the tension in your manager's voice that no one else picked up on? Still replaying last week's conflict while your colleagues have moved on? In this episode, Melody challenges everything you've been told about being "too sensitive" at work. Discover why trying to "toughen up" is fighting a losing battle, but simply "embracing your sensitivity" isn't the answer either.If you're tired of sensitivity holding you back from the recognition, fulfillment, and impact you deserve, this episode offers a radically different approach that doesn't require changing who you are.Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work FREE NEWSLETTER: Psychology at Work Weekly Get on the Speak Like a Senior Leader™ Waitlist Follow Melody on LinkedIn Follow Melody on Instagram Get Melody's new book, Managing Up