Post Mormon Peace

What happens after the beliefs that once gave your life structure, meaning, and certainty no longer work for you? In Part 2 of our conversation with Corey Buse, we follow his story from a committed returned missionary and young husband to the moment his wife, Emily, tells him she may be ready to leave the Church. That forces Corey to examine his own faith from the ground up. We talk about the questions and church history that eventually changed his beliefs, but more importantly, we explore what came next. How do you rebuild meaning without a prescribed plan? Where do values come from when the rules are no longer handed to you? How do you raise kids, navigate uncertainty, deal with difficult emotions, and decide what parts of your Mormon upbringing are still worth keeping? This is a conversation about deconstruction, reconstruction, and learning to trust yourself enough to build a meaningful life without having all the answers.

What if loving someone means letting go of the need to change them? In Part 2 of our conversation with Torn author Jeff Strong, we talk about one of the hardest parts of a faith transition: what happens between the people who leave and the people who stay. Can a believing parent truly accept a child who walks away from the Church? Can someone who leaves make room for family members who still hope they return? And how do you stay close when neither side sees faith the same way anymore? Jeff shares what changed in his own family after three of his five children left the Church, why certainty became less important to him over time, and how fear, humility, and acceptance can reshape relationships. This is a conversation about loving people without fixing them, making room for different beliefs, and finding peace without requiring anyone to change their mind.

When Jeff Strong’s missionary son decided to come home and step away from the Church, it forced Jeff to confront questions he had already begun seeing in the lives of people around him. In Part 1 of our conversation with the author of Torn, we talk about what his research uncovered about why active Latter-day Saints leave, how those reasons have changed over time, and why Jeff believes Church culture can either soften those struggles or make them much harder. At the center of the conversation is a simple metaphor: culture is the soil we grow in. It can be firm enough to provide stability, but it also has to be nourishing enough for people to breathe, grow, and belong. This is a conversation about faith, culture, fear, curiosity, and what it might look like to create more room for people whose experience of the Church does not fit the traditional mold.

In Part 1 of our conversation with Corey Buse, we go back to growing up Mormon in Utah in the 1990s, where church, family, friends, and community were all deeply intertwined. Corey was raised with a strong emphasis on exact obedience and doing things the “right” way. That framework gave him discipline and conviction, but it also shaped how he approached friendships, differences, and eventually his mission. Serving in New Jersey exposed Corey to people who saw religion very differently than he did. For the first time, he began asking what the gospel looked like from the other side of the doorstep. A change in mission leadership also challenged his assumptions about rules, obedience, and what actually makes someone an effective missionary. Corey didn't come home from his mission having lost his faith. In many ways, he came home more committed than ever. But he also came home seeing more gray in a world he'd once understood largely in black and white. This is Part 1 of Corey's story. In Part 2, we follow what happened as those early shifts in perspective eventually became something much bigger.

In this episode, Chad describes the heartbreak and uncertainty of navigating a mixed-orientation marriage, divorce, single parenthood, and an entirely new relationship with the person who had been his closest companion. He also shares how he and Sierra eventually built a strong friendship and co-parenting partnership on the other side.   This is a conversation about accepting someone for who they are, finding stability when life comes apart, and allowing love to change shape instead of turning it into resentment.   Content Warning: This episode contains some strong language and candid discussion of past drug use, divorce, sexuality, and other mature themes. Listener discretion is advised.    

In this solo episode, Derek reflects on what peace has started to look like several years after leaving the LDS Church. After moving back to Utah and finding himself surrounded by Mormon culture again, he noticed something changing. Instead of only seeing the parts of the Church he disagrees with, he’s becoming more willing to recognize what he still appreciates about it. That shift raises some bigger questions: What does religion provide that may be difficult to recreate outside of it? How do we pass values on to our children without requiring them to share our worldview? And can we become secure enough in our own beliefs that we no longer need the people around us to agree with us? Derek explores self-acceptance, uncertainty, raising kids after a faith transition, learning from criticism, and the freedom that can come from admitting, “I don’t know.” Maybe peace isn’t finally having all the answers. Maybe it’s becoming comfortable enough with ourselves to remain open to people, ideas, and even the possibility that we might change our minds.

Why do people really leave the LDS Church—and how well do believing members understand their reasons? In this episode of Post-Mormon Peace, Derek Williams and Jordan Smith discuss Torn: Why People We Love Are Leaving the Church and What We Can Learn from Them by Jeff Strong. Drawing on thousands of survey responses and interviews, Torn explores the growing number of people disengaging from the Church and, perhaps more importantly, the disconnect between why believing members think people leave and the reasons former members actually give. Derek and Jordan dig into some of the book’s most interesting findings, including the role of church history and truth claims, moral and social disagreements, difficult church experiences, and the surprisingly small percentage of people who say they left simply because they wanted a different lifestyle. But the conversation goes beyond the statistics. How do you maintain a meaningful relationship when someone you love sees the Church completely differently than you do? Can believing members genuinely accept someone’s decision to leave while still hoping they return? And can former members extend that same curiosity and empathy toward those who continue to believe? Derek and Jordan also discuss what Torn gets right, where they think it falls short, and why learning to listen without trying to persuade may be one of the most important skills for both believing and post-Mormon families. Plus, they share some exciting news: Torn author Jeff Strong will be joining Post-Mormon Peace for an upcoming episode. Whether you're an active member, former member, somewhere in between, or trying to understand someone you love, this conversation is ultimately about something bigger than deciding who is right: learning how to understand each other and protect the relationships that matter most.

In this episode of Post Mormon Peace, we explore what it really means to meet in the middle when beliefs, identities, and experiences diverge. Rather than arguing to be right or trying to change someone’s mind, we talk about how curiosity, empathy, and genuine listening create bridges across ideological and religious divides. We share a personal story about navigating a political disagreement with a close friend — not by debating, but by asking questions to understand his why. This conversation challenges the idea that people leaving a faith tradition need to remain quiet, neutral, or distant to maintain peace. Instead, we discuss how connection and mutual respect can thrive even when beliefs have changed. Whether you’re navigating family relationships, friendships, or community spaces, this episode offers practical tools for staying grounded, communicating with compassion, and recognizing shared humanity across differences. Keywords: post-mormon, faith transition, religious differences, communication, empathy, curiosity, bridge-building, relationships, understanding.

From the outside, it can look like I’ve built a perfectly peaceful life of open conversations and harmony. The truth? Choosing openness often means choosing discomfort. In this episode, I talk about what peace actually looks like in practice—the messy parts, the triggers, and the moments I’d rather keep my mouth shut. I share recent stories with a sibling, my dad, a close friend, my wife, and a raw moment with my mom where I snapped, then called back to apologize. You’ll hear how I’m learning to zoom out (think S&P 500 growth curve) and keep “coming back to the table”—again and again. Peace isn’t the absence of conflict; it’s a commitment to connection, repair, and telling the truth with love. If you’ve ever stayed silent too long, lost your cool, or said something you regret, this one’s for you. Highlights / Takeaways Peace is an internal practice, not a perfect outcome. Triggers happen; repair is what keeps relationships growing. “Coming back to the table” > “winning” the conversation. Zoom out: judge growth over years, not days. Apologizing doesn’t erase convictions—it deepens connection. Gentle Note This episode includes candid reflections on LDS culture/leadership from my current perspective. If you’re a believing member and that feels tender right now, feel free to skip—or listen with curiosity and care. Call to Action Got a story to share? I’d love to hear from you or have you on the show: [email protected]

In this heartfelt follow-up episode, Derek sits down once again with his teenage daughter, Ashlyn, for an open conversation about how parenting in their family has evolved—especially since leaving the Mormon church. They explore the transformation from a model of correction and control to one centered on love, trust, open communication, and emotional freedom. Derek shares insights from working with coach Steve Hardison and discusses how one powerful shift in focus—“my sole and primary purpose as a parent is to love and accept my children”—has changed everything. Ashlyn brings her honest, thoughtful perspective as she reflects on what it’s like being parented in this environment of emotional safety. From decision-making and self-criticism to arguments with siblings and the importance of feeling heard, Ashlyn offers a wise and articulate voice of her own growth and the strength of their evolving family dynamic.