Meeting of Minds

After the 100th episode celebration, it's been a bit quiet here and this short episode tells you all about what is happening next. It's not the end of the Meeting of Minds but there will be a break while Robbie and I get the new podcast, HSP Connection, off the ground. I really hope you'll join us and listen to the new podcast. Click the link below to find it on various platforms and please listen, subscribe and give us a rating. Ideas for the next Meeting of Minds series are brewing and as soon as I land on one that lights me up, I'll be back. If you have any ideas of what you'd like to hear next, get in touch. Take good care until we're back here together again (and join me on HSP Connection). Find HSP Connection by clicking here: HSP Connection links LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: ⁠newsletter sign up⁠ To buy my book: ⁠I See, Me on Amazon⁠ To get in touch: Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠ Instagram ⁠@safeandsupportedcoaching⁠ Website: ⁠safeandsupported.co.uk⁠ Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

Get ready to celebrate, because it's the 100th episode of this fantastic podcast! To mark the occasion, we've invited a few HSP friends to join us on Zoom for a virtual party. We're sharing the joy of being an HSP and having a blast while doing it. Robbie's putting me in the hot seat with some questions about the journey of the last 100 episodes. We'll be talking about everything from the ups and downs of putting together the podcast, to what inspired me to start it in the first place. It's been quite a ride, but I've loved every moment of it, especially the chance to connect with so many amazing people. Of course, it hasn't all been easy. I've had my fair share of challenges along the way, but I've persevered, and the result is a podcast that I'm incredibly proud of. As I look back on the last two years, I'm filled with gratitude for all of my amazing subscribers and listeners. Your comments and support have been invaluable, and I couldn't have done it without you. As we move forward, I'd love to hear from you about which episodes you've enjoyed and what you'd like to hear more of. I'm always looking for new ideas, so don't be shy! You can find contact details below. But that's not all - Robbie and I are excited to announce that we're creating a brand new podcast called HSP Connection. We'll be exploring all things HSP in even more depth, and we can't wait to share it with you. Don't worry, though - Meeting of Minds will be back after a well-deserved break. So watch this space - there's plenty more to come! Useful links: Robbie:⁠ https://www.robbieleigh.com/⁠ Willow McIntosh:⁠ https://inluminance.com/⁠ Julie Bjelland:⁠ https://www.juliebjelland.com/⁠ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog:⁠ https://highlysensitiverefuge.com⁠ LINKS FOR PHILIPPA Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You:⁠ newsletter sign up⁠ To buy my book:⁠ I See, Me on Amazon⁠ To get in touch: Email:⁠ [email protected]⁠ Instagram⁠ @safeandsupportedcoaching⁠ Website:⁠ safeandsupported.co.uk⁠ Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

I chose the subject of this week’s podcast after I saw this equation written down: Intuition = instinct + spirit It spoke to me and I became really curious about the role spirit plays in us using our intuition. This conversation takes us to what is spirit and how does it help us connect to our intuition? It’s like a translator helping to interpret the signals. We talk about: The core spirit part we all have and how it is important for us to thrive, especially as HSPs as we feel so much so deeply. How to connect How to listen How to work out what we’re feeling How to build a relationship with our intuition - be curious and approach it with playfulness and joy Self-care - so important to calm our nervous system so we can hear the messages. Let us know what resonates for you in this episode. How do you connect? There are links below to useful resources and how to get in touch. Also, let us have your questions and we'll answer them on future episodes. Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS FOR PHILIPPA Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

People-pleasing and perfectionism are really interesting for us as they are the main protective mechanisms developed by me and Robbie, respectively, to navigate our childhoods. We had others but these are the main ones. They were the ways we tried to get our needs met  - like love, affection and recognition - and whilst they may have served us in childhood when it wasn’t safe to be our true selves, as adults they no longer served us as they drove us to behaviours that were not healthy. The masks that any of us wear when we are using people-pleasing or perfectionism isolate us from our true self and from others. Trying so hard all the time is exhausting too and we miss opportunities to try new and fun things. Trying to be perfect and please people gets into our bones and drives all our behaviour until we decide we don’t want to, or can’t, do it anymore. We share our personal experiences and, whilst we still have lots to learn, how we have dropped our masks and are thriving as a result. We want you to know that there are no laundry police, or dishwasher police, so do it how you want to and find joy in it. You can be imperfect and make an impact. I would say, make an even bigger impact by doing it imperfectly. Please let us know what resonates for you and what you find useful. Let us have your questions and we'll answer them on future episodes. Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS FOR PHILIPPA Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

Another juicy topic this week, boundaries. I like to think of boundaries as a resource management system. How best to use our time, energy, money and other resources. Once we've upped our self-care and we're feeling in a good place, we've worked out what we need to make us feel good, how do we then use the resources to we have in a way that serves us.  This is where boundaries come in. For Robbie, boundaries allow her to choose where to put her energy. She has worked on boundaries for years and shares some techniques she has used to help her put boundaries in place. We don't have it all figured out and we continue to learn, but here we're sharing what we have learned so far.  Please let us know what resonates for you and what you find useful. Let us have your questions and we'll answer them on future episodes. Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

This episode ties in with episodes 92 (self-care) and 95 (relationships) and you might find it useful to go back and listen to those. Robbie worked out what she needs and found her rhythm largely by experiencing what didn't work for her. For me, it was more  a case of having nothing to lose and wanting to try something different. Learning about vulnerability from Brené Brown's Ted Talk helped me take off my mask and be more real. Both of us experienced profound shifts as a result of what we learned. Admitting to myself that, having achieved what society tells me "should" make me happy, I was miserable gave me the space to start figuring out what I needed. Spending the rest of my life figuring out my rhythm is exciting and brings me joy. Robbie talks about learning to love herself and treating herself with love. Making sure she got what she needed has been a big piece of her journey, as has learning to put herself first and that she matters. Your voice is more important than anyone else's when it comes to what you need. When you do this and find your rhythm, what happens is a big increase in positive outcomes as well as a decline in the negative outcomes.  We both would love everyone to live a life of true self-love so in turn we can all give love to others. We don't have it all figured out and we continue to learn but here we're sharing what we have learned so far.  Please let us know what resonates for you and what you find useful. Let us have your questions and we'll answer them on future episodes.   Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

This episode is a stroll through our experience of relationships as HSPs with both HSPs and non-HSPs. Most of what we say really applies to all relationships - romantic or not. We explore the different ways we do this and our intention is to give you some food for thought. We talk about: The importance of believing that high sensitivity is a real thing - the belief allows us to understand the trait, explain it to others and thrive How hard it can be to express ourselves particularly when we are focussed on others so much of the time - as HSPs we feel so much and process so deeply it can be a challenge to express it all Knowing what you need and how to advocate for yourself - this gives you the space to be a better partner, friend etc and by attending to our needs we release the other from the responsibility People pleasing - we touch on this and will do a whole podcast on it later in the series Slowing down Self-compassion Our tendency towards caretaking and over-giving - the natural by-product of having so much empathy Boundaries - again we touch on this and will do a whole podcast on this later in the series Seeking out other HSPs Choosing who gets our energy Being careful about using our HSP powers without realising it - many of us are natural coaches and can step into the coach role when others may not want it. Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

In this episode Robbie and I stray into murky waters and talk about their experiences of systems as HSPs. Beware of a rant or two along the way. The intention was to talk about a number of systems and structures but we ended up talking mainly about the workplace as we have both had corporate positions in the past. We will do another episode later on about other systems. For Robbie, the workplace felt like yet another place where she didn't belong. She could see how the systems were harmful to people but wasn't in a position to bring about real change. Over the last 20 years Robbie has seen a shift to those systems being even more harmful. Some people obviously benefit from the it for the systems to continue but it isn't the majority. As an HSP, Robbie can't just sit with that. It isn't okay. Robbie thinks we should have systems that work for the majority. I agree.  For me (Philippa), my experience of a corporate career was the pervasive feeling of no what I did, it wasn't enough. I did a really good job but usually felt broken by it. Now I realise it wasn't me that was broken, it was the system.  Fixing little things, whilst well intentioned, doesn't address the big picture. A major overhaul is needed. Some businesses are interesting in doing things differently. Some are even doing it. Change is happening. If you ever feel like we do about the workplaces we have experienced, know you are not alone. If enough of us talk about maybe, just maybe, we might see change.  Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

Many of us highly sensitive folks grow up thinking, feeling and being told that our sensitivity is a weakness and it's something to hide. When we hear messages like "you're too sensitive" we can feel like there's something wrong with us. There isn't and in this episode we want to help you see that sensitivity is a strength. Robbie doesn't hold back in this episode and we can all hear her passion about this subject. Can we learn to say "thank you for noticing my sensitivity and you're welcome" instead of feeling bad about it? I'm certainly going to try that out. Sensitivity doesn't mean we can't deal with hard things. In fact, it's the very opposite; not only can we deal with them, we do so with great care and consideration. We care, a lot, and that is how we make change happen. We also delve into the ways that society and big companies turn away from listening to sensitive voices because it's uncomfortable to hear what we have to say. BUT it's really important to listen as HSPs can feel what needs to happen for the good of everyone. The definition I read out in the episode is: Sensitive - (1) quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals or influences (2) having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others' feelings. There is nothing in that definition that I see as anything but a strength. If you don't feel the strength know it's not you, it's the system that isn't set up for us to thrive but we can thrive if we know how to look after and speak up for ourselves. You're magical and amazing and you are strong. Believe it. Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter and in return you will receive a copy of my new ebook book, I see You: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon To get in touch: Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware

This is the 3rd episode of the HSP Connection and this week Robbie and I are talking about one of our favourite subjects: SELF-CARE  Yes, self-care can involve a lovely, hot bath, a massage or permission to spend all day watching New Amsterdam (anyone else or is it just me?). What we mean here is radical self-care; the stuff we aren't usually taught about but is so important for HSPs to thrive. As Robbie says, self-care is as important for HSPs as sleep.  Our nervous systems are processing so much information, we have to find the things that work for us to relax, restore and rejuvenate our system.  It is not a luxury or a "good to have". It's essential if we are to live a  fulfilled life full of joy. And that starts with self-care.  It's possible, it's do-able, it's worth it.    We talk about: how we'd all be better off slowing the pace down, to be present and notice what is going on around us taking time for ourselves, to rest and digest, is something we'd all benefit from and it's essential for HSPs women get the message from all around them that we must look after others first before ourselves. That narrative does not serve women, and causes much harm, and it must change. giving ourselves permission to take care of ourselves; make us the priority asking ourselves what we need  - we know this isn't easy and progress comes from embracing the uneasiness rather than staying stuck in the same narrative driven pattern figuring out what feels good - this will be different for all of us making a habit of checking in with ourselves throughout the day making space for quiet time, alone time, unplanned time find the things that bring you joy and do more of them - like being in nature (Robbie loves what she calls "Big Nature"), a warm bath, cold water swimming (this is Philippa's thing), sunsets, forests, cooking, reading, meditating ....... journalling (that's journaling if you're in the US) find ways to bring yourself back into your body, back into the moment, be present - yoga and breath work are really good for this EFT (aka tapping) - really great for lots of things, particularly anxiety seek out medical practitioners, healers, therapists, coaches etc that understand about high sensitivity and can help you boundary setting - this is a BIG one and we'll cover this in a later episode finding the things that light you up - that could be nature etc, it might also be your work or volunteering Useful links: Robbie: https://www.robbieleigh.com/ Willow McIntosh: https://inluminance.com/ Julie Bjelland: https://www.juliebjelland.com/ Highly Sensitive Refuge blog: https://highlysensitiverefuge.com AnnaCalm: https://www.annacalm.com/ LINKS Here is the link to sign up for my newsletter: newsletter sign up To buy my book: I See, Me on Amazon Email: [email protected] Instagram @safeandsupportedcoaching Website: safeandsupported.co.uk Production: Jay Herbert Original music: Jay Herbert and Alex Ware