Episode 235: Enemy Mindset

What are your thoughts about your spouse? If I were to ask you to describe them on their worst day as a partner to you, what would you say?Your answer is the Core Negative Image you have of them. It's the set of negative thoughts and beliefs you have that often you are responding to when you are angry, frustrated, sad or disappointed.It's important to uncover these thoughts and to take a look at how they drive your energy, interactions and communication with your spouse.In this episode, I break down WHERE these beliefs come from, and what you can do to reduce the negative impact they are having on your marriage. Also mentioned in this episode: If you are ready to have objective and professional help for your marriage, so that you and your spouse can get along better and have a happier marriage, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation call with me to discuss my coaching programs and how I can help. Visit: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

How often do you sit and contemplate what's possible from a positive perspective?Our brains are very good at asking the "what if" question when it comes to worry inducing thoughts.In this episode of the podcast, I'm turning it upside down and introducing you to a powerful concept that will open your mind and accelerate your progress in creating more of what you want in your life and marriage.You will learn the power of asking "what if" from the future you desire.So much is possible for you.But first, you've got to get your brain on board.Tune in now for some incredible questions and the inspiration you need to grab on to what's truly possible for you.And if this resonated with you and you're ready to start taking the steps to create a marriage that feels like a dream come true, I invite you to work with me in one of my coaching programs. Visit DrChavonne.com to learn more.

What you do, over and over again creates BIG gains. In how you feel, how you experience your marriage, and your overall life.In this episode I share with you the concept of cumulative effect and why it's so important to create the healthy, happy marriage that you want.It may seem like your day-to-day decisions to do the right and loving thing are slow in crating the BIG changes you want, but that's not necessarily the case.Tune in to learn more about this power concept and what you can do right now to shift your mindset to appreciate exactly what it offers you and why it's so important in creating positive change for GOOD.Also mentioned in this episode:You can work with me directly in one of my coaching programs to create better communication and a closer connection week by week. You'll be amazed at how just shifting a few things in how you think and operate as a couple can produce massive improvements that you can tangibly feel and see. Book your complimentary consultation call with me HERE to talk more about what's possible for you with the right help and support.

What you do, over and over again creates BIG gains. In how you feel, how you experience your marriage, and your overall life.In this episode I share with you the concept of cumulative effect and why it's so important to create the healthy, happy marriage that you want.It may seem like your day-to-day decisions to do the right and loving thing are slow in crating the BIG changes you want, but that's not necessarily the case.Tune in to learn more about this power concept and what you can do right now to shift your mindset to appreciate exactly what it offers you and why it's so important in creating positive change for GOOD.Also mentioned in this episode:You can work with me directly in one of my coaching programs to create better communication and a closer connection week by week. You'll be amazed at how just shifting a few things in how you think and operate as a couple can produce massive improvements that you can tangibly feel and see. Book your complimentary consultation call with me HERE to talk more about what's possible for you with the right help and support.

When a marriage experiences challenges, there are a set of predictable positions each person holds that create conflict, disconnection and dysfunction. In this episode I'm taking you inside a concept I first learned about from world-renown couple's therapist Terry Real and sharing with you 4 common relational positions that perpetuate marital issues.Knowing where you and your partner fall on each of these is incredibly important data to have in order to shift things in a more position direction.The positive changes you are wanting to see start with an awareness of exactly where you keep getting stuck, followed by concrete steps to break your cycles, and create new healthier patterns of interacting.As you listen to this episode, identify where you are, and where your partner falls.Then I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me to learn more about the productive changes that can be made to move your marriage into one that is healthier, happier and more fulfilling.You can book your call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

Have you ever considered how giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt can actually benefit YOU?In this episode, I share with you the power concept of Benefit of the Doubt and talk you through why it will help you improve your marriage.If you find yourself assuming and expecting the worst, this podcast will give point you in a more productive direction to experience more of what you want.Also mentioned in this episode:Work with me directly! There are a variety of options available for how you can have my direct help to support you and your spouse in improving your communication, reconnecting, and feeling like a united team.Book a complimentary call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

One of the most important distinctions you need to be able to make in your marriage is what is healthy vs. what is unhealthy.So much unhappiness and conflict arises when one or both of you are operating from a relationally UNhealthy place.In our episode today I'm breaking down the most common unhealthy dynamics I see - both those that I would considered "marital neglect" and those that I would define as "marital aggress". When you clearly understand what is healthy and what is not, you are more able to see yourself, your marriage and your partner more clearly. You understand what's yours to own and work on, vs. the work that belongs to them.You also open the door to breaking some of the dysfunctional patterns you may have grown up with as a child.Also mentioned in this episode:New Masterclass: How to Create a Healthy, Happy Marriage that LASTS. Register for free here: https://drchavonne.com/hhm/Book a complimentary consultation call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

Does your spouse sometimes feel like an enemy to you? Do you struggle to get on the same page about simple things? Find yourself always feeling like you are on the defensive with them? Does it feel like they look for ways to make things harder to you to get along?If so, this episode will help you so much.I'm breaking down the concept of the Enemy Mindset and how it's taking a toll on you and your marriage.I also teach you a simple shift in your perspective to go from feeling like enemies to having more accurate and neutral thoughts about your spouse. This opens the door to you feeling better, and then ultimately having better interactions.This episode will offer you relief for the heaviness and hardness of your marriage right now.Also mentioned:You can also work with me directly in one of my coaching programs and learn how to create a happier, more peaceful experience with your partner. I offer couples and individual coaching programs that teach you the mindset, skills and tools to have better communication and rekindle your loving connection. To schedule your call, visit: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

This one is a vulnerable and personal podcast about my own parenting challenges as my daughter enters her tween years. In several conversations I've had, I noticed the striking parallels between different seasons of the parenting relationship and different seasons of the marital relationship.At the end of the day relationships are relationships are relationships.As I've processed my own shifting dynamics as a parent, there are so many relevant lessons, take aways and helpful approaches that will support you in our own shifting dynamics with your spouse. I walk you through a variety of valuable perspectives to help you navigate difficult moments with greater ease, and insight. I offer some specific tips and strategies you can use to keep yourself grounded and focused on the right things. I also help you understand some of your underlying fears and how to react differently to them.Grab a coffee and let's connect with each other on this important conversation.Mentioned in this Episode: If you're looking for help and support to improve how you and your spouse interact, and are ready to have an easier, more peaceful marriage, I invite you to book a private consultation with me where we will explore how my coaching program can give you the help and guidance you are looking for. BOOK YOUR CALL HERE

How do you lead yourself well in a challenging season of your marriage? What does it look like to still show up as your best, even when you are angry, hurt and upset? What are the standards you commit to holding yourself to, no matter what?In today's podcast episode, we are diving into the topic of self leadership - showing up, doing what's right, with kindness, love and respect. This concept is so important in order for you to create the experiences and positive changes that you want. Your ability to lead yourself well sets the tone for your marriage and can radically shift unhealthy patterns. Today, I build upon two previous conversations I've had on this topic (see my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@drchavonne) and you'll walk away with a deeper understanding of it's importance and some tangible next steps to create some positive momentum in the dynamics with your spouse. And if you're ready to create a marriage where it's easy to talk to each other and you feel seen, understood, and on the same page, I invite you to book a private consultation call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/