The Substance Review

This week we review Stuart Gordon’s 1985 schlock classic: Re-animator. Does it go too far for modern audiences? Listen to find out. Synopsis Loosely based off of H.P. Lovecraft’s short story “Herbert West - Reanimator” this film stars Jeffery Combs as Herbert West, a weird genius science student that just arrived at the Miskatonic University. He immediately clashes with his professor in asserting superior knowledge over theories surrounding brain death, and makes him an enemy. Also in his class is Dan Cain, who rents a room to Herbert. Dan is dating the dean’s daughter and is mainly in this movie to be choked. As Herbert West experiments with a new serum, he discovers he has unlocked the secret to reanimating the dead. After confirming it’s efficacy with small animals, he seeks to experiment on dead humans. Review of Re-Animator Re-animator pure B-movie schlock done right. It pulls no punches with intense gore, nudity, and dark humor. It’s the spiritual sci-fi counterpart to Evil Dead, which came out four years earlier. Dennis Paoli, the writer, came from the world of experimental theater in Chicago, and he brought a solid foundation with a surprisingly tight script.  Both him and the director Stuart Gordon wanted to create an homage to Frankenstein, and succeeded with Re-Animator. It really does recapture some of the straight faced humor of the original 1930s Frankenstein, but turns up everything to 11. The special effects are sometimes laughably bad, but still endearing. Particularly the reanimated psycho cat is like something off of a cheap SNL sketch, but still ends up being very entertaining. They didn’t even try to get a rating, since it would most likely get an X. Somehow they still toe the line for decency, editing some shots just right before they get too exploitative to ruin the fun. Mainly that’s what this movie is: A lot of fun. This film should be studied for how to pull off low-budget campy horror. Score 10/10

Synopsis Red Christmas follows a blended family headed by matriarch Diane (Dee Wallace) as they prepare to celebrate Christmas together. When an unexpected cloaked figure pops up on their doorstep and insists on reading a letter he wrote for his mother to the family, long time secrets Diane has been keeping are revealed, along with a suspicious murderous spree.  Review There is a fine line between a campy movie and a really bad movie, and this film toes that line swimmingly. The movie is insane, it makes no sense at times, it’s funny, it’s wacky, it has really good kills, and it’s a Christmas movie. What better way to get into the Christmas spirit than to watch someone get axed hotdog style. I like this movie for its campiness, it’s very entertaining and while a lot of the plot is not logical, it is a fun slasher movie that you can enjoy with a cup of hot cocoa and some figgy pudding. It’s not the best movie of all time but it’s not trying to be. It’s trying to be a campy slasher romp, and that’s exactly what it is. If you can ignore the screwed up ‘message’ of the movie and just focus on how lovely Dee Wallace is, then you can enjoy this film. Score 7/10

Do you want to feel like you are watching someone play a video game when you watch a movie? Well Silent Hill is the right movie for you. Synopsis Rose Da Silva brings her adopted daughter, Sharon, to the eerie ghost town of Silent Hill, hoping to find a cure for Sharon’s mysterious condition and learn why she is having nightmares about the town. Following a police chase and a brutal car accident, Sharon vanishes. Rose finds herself in a spooky ookie alternate dimension that occasionally turns into an even spookier OOKIER dimension filled with unimaginable horrors. As she frantically searches for her missing daughter she meets the townsfolk and finds out the towns LORE. Review of Silent Hill Having not played the video game this film is based on, I can already tell you that’s its a faithful adaptation. Because watching the first half of this film is like watching someone play a video game. And unfortunately they are not very good at it. I was left craving more cut scenes or maybe more scenes cut. Some of the iconic imagery from the game of Pyramid head and the nurses are wedged in as non-sequiturs. I assumed that the film would make some kind of effort to explain them, but nope. I still have no idea what their significance is to the story.   The thing that the movie really has going for it is production design, and vibes. The film is very moody and feels oppressive. Unfortunately, the writing and acting is distractingly bad at times. Honestly, it felt like they spent all the budget on the production design, and then midway realized they never bothered with a script. The last half of the movie redeems itself in some ways. The action and horror ramps up, the exposition finally gives us something to hold on to, and it actually ends up telling a story. Overall, I felt like the film was too slow and uneven. There was some great body horror and memorable scenes, but unfortunately they are wrapped in a pretty forgettable movie. Score  4/10

Synopsis Stir of Echoes is about a lovely couple named Tom and Maggie. Tom, played by Kevin Bacon in maybe his greatest role ever is put in a hypnotic trance by Maggie's sister at a dinner party. After having him put a needle through his hand which is super not cool, Tom is awoken from his mystic slumber. But something is off. He can see... ggggggg-Ghosts! Through his newfound second sight, Tom is about to do some miraculous things and fight crime. Just kidding he doesn't fight crime but he does do some pretty incredible things. Meanwhile, their son Jake is also a psychic and stirs up some trouble in the neighborhood when he claims to have visions of a young girl who went missing six months prior. Review of Stir of Echoes I went into Stir of Echoes cautiously. It did not look good; I had never heard of it, and the first act was beginning to confirm my doubt. It feels a little convoluted and messy, and you dont really know where the movie is headed. Certain scenes initially felt random and confusing, but as the movie progressed, I began getting more and more invested. While Stir of Echoes is not a very scary movie, the mystery did reel me in and by act 2 I was pretty invested in uncovering the truth. Kevin Bacon does a really good job of portraying a decent into madness and for half of the movie basically acts like a homeless schizophrenia person. It's a joy to watch. Without giving anything away about the ending I will say that by the time the movie was over everything felt like it was wrapped up well and I no longer felt that the movie was convoluted.  Score 7/10

Synopsis 30 Days of Night is a movie about Eben and Stella, a married couple in Alaska going through separation and a possible future divorce. Eben, the sheriff, is preparing his small town for the 30 days of night, where the sun doesn't rise for a full month. Explain that flat-earthers. When trying to leave Alaska before the impending darkness Stella misses her flight, trapping her in the town. Although the 30 days of darkness is typically a challenge, Eben is wholly unprepared to deal with the invasion of deadly monsters that lie in wait. As darkness descends the creators wreak havoc (some might even say ravish) the town, and in the end, everyone gets more dark than they bargained for.  Review of 30 Days of Night This movie reminds me of Midnight Mass with its secluded small town and monsters to terrorize it. And I LOVE Midnight Mass. But 30 Days of Night is a much more straight-ahead story. There is no bigger picture or message being told, it's just vampires, blood, and guts. I appreciated the family and character dynamics introduced in the first act, but honestly by act two when people start dying I didn't really care who they were or how they were important to the story. It's vampire time baby! The tension between Eben and his estranged wife Stella doesn't really translate well, and they seem to have no tension between them at all once the danger presents itself. I respect the vampire lore in this movie a lot more than I do of movies that turn vampires into this sexy, mystical creature which at least for me takes the fear out of the design. Here the vampires are fast, strong, and animalistic with sharklike razor teeth. Much more interesting if you ask me.  Score 6/10

Watch as Bryce and Max jump at the opportunity to talk about their missions as Sydney and Jordyn look on with glazed eyes. Synopsis Two naive Mormon missionaries, sister Barnes and sisterPaxton knock on the door of Mr. Reed, a lead that expressed interest in learning about the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. Mr. Reed, played by High Grant, is charming and warm to the ladies, but begins directly challenging their beliefs. As the Sisters get more and more uncomfortable they discover that they have been trapped inside the house and are given the monty hall choice of exiting through the door marked belief or the one marked disbelief. Review of Heretic I can recognize this as not a fantastic movie, however, I was thoroughly entertained for my own reasons. Having served a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, I was pumped to see a Hollywood movie premise around the experience, which is very unique. Most of my enjoyment was from picking apart what they got wrong and what they got right, so your mileage will vary. That being said, it’s a unique premise, and the themes of religion, belief, and doubt are rarely given this much thought and analysis in a horror movie.  I thought the performances were great. I love Hugh Grant as a character actor more than as a romantic lead. He is properly menacing as a spider entrapping these women in his web. The female leads both did very well, especially Sophie Thatcher portraying the awkward earnest humor of a Mormon Missionary. The writing and pacing is very inconsistent. Some stretches of exposition dumps come off as heavy handed and preachy. There were some character inconsistencies, and I’m sure there are plenty of plot holes to fill. The first act is definitely the best, and most of it you see in the trailer. The dread and terror as the Sisters slowly realize that they are in real danger and try to navigate politely out of the situation is really spot on. Score 6/10

Synopsis Possum is about a disgraced puppeteer named Philip who is fired from his job after an unknown workplace incident and returns to his childhood home to destroy his puppet and face his past. While Philip wanders around his old town trying to make sense of his traumatic past, a local schoolboy goes missing. Philips's uncle Maurice lives a lifestyle of squaller and filth as a squatter in Philips's old home, and the two have a lovely and passionate reunion. Uh just kidding Philip hates Maurice, and the two have many strained and uncomfortable conversations over the course of the movie. Philip attempts multiple times to rid himself of his creepy puppet who he calls possum, and learns more about his past along the way. Review of Possum Possum is a very slow burn with minimal dialogue and odd acting styles. The actor playing the main character, Philip, looks like he has no idea how to stand like a normal human being, and I love that. The movie is low-budget, and it definitely shows. The whole thing was basically just filming a man running around with a puppet. Not much happens for the majority of the movie, and sometimes it feels like you are watching pretty much nothing. But, there are layers to this film. It is all about running from your trauma, and how you can't escape it unless you face it. The puppet is creepy, the house is disgusting, Maurice is disgusting-er, and I was left with a rotten and hollow feeling after watching this movie. Score 7/10

Synopsis Oz Perkins’s debut feature film follows two girls, Kat and Rose, who attend a Catholic boarding school in upstate New York. When both of their parents fail to pick them up for February break, Rose is put in charge of taking care of Kat. We also follow an older girl named Joan, who seems as if she has escaped a psych ward and is on the run, when she meets a respectful couple who offer to take her to where she needs to go. Kat believes her parents have died and they are no longer going to pick her up, while Rose struggles with the possibility of being pregnant and does not look after Kat like she was supposed to. Suspicions about Kat’s late night unsupervised hijinx and Joan’s motivations for traveling rise as the mysteries unfold to the viewer’s unsuspecting but curious eyes. Review I love this film. This is either the third or fourth time I’ve watched it and I always forget how it ends. The mystery of all of the characters and their motivations is intriguing and special. Right off the bat with the scary dream sequence as the first scene of this film, I was hooked. The vibe is foreboding, horrifying, creepy, just all around a feeling of dread through the entire 95 minute runtime. It is tight, it is full of suspense and grief, and it is a genius way to tell the story like writer director Oz Perkins does. There is honestly nothing wrong with this film in my eyes, it is fully perfect. It is horrible, but you feel for each of the characters. You want to dive into their brains and Perkins does a good job at letting you know their feelings and motivations at every stop. The twist near the end is damn near perfect. I will always love this movie. Better than Longlegs in my opinion. Score 10/10

Synopsis The smile virus/demon from Smile is back and is tormenting a young pop star named Skye Riley. Skye is a recovering addict attempting to relaunch her career with a world tour. While visiting her former dealer to score some pain killers for a back injury, she witnesses him commit suicide in front of her and infect her with some kind of ancient evil. Adding to the pressures of fame, rehearsals, and recovery; she is beset by hallucinations of people with creepy smiles out to get her. Review of Smile 2 This smile demon concept is like the lovechild of The Evil Dead and It Follows, and frankly, I’m a fan. This film was artistically made, delved deep into themes of trauma and mental health in a unique and terrifying way. I couldn’t help but think of the public mental breakdowns of celebrities like Brittany Spears while watching this movie. It really gives perspective into the pressures of a job where hundreds of people are relying on you to perform. That and the inherent creepiness of parasocial relationships with fans that are obsessed with you. It made it hard to tell where the demon ended and where this pop star’s surreal reality began.  I thought Naomi Scott was great to watch as Skye. She has very expressive eyes and portrayed the terror and helplessness of her situation very well. Parker Finn, the writer/director of this and the previous film is a talent to watch. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with outside of this franchise. Score 9/10

Synopsis Terrifier 3 is a sweet hallmark-esk Christmas movie about a middle-class family working through the stress of the holiday season. Mom is bored with her suburban lifestyle and Dad is constantly tired at work because he keeps being woken up by sweet little Suzy who has crazy dreams when she has too much sugar before bed. Oh yeah, and a clown dressed as Santa possessed by the devil wielding an ax is there as well. In reality, terrifier 3 is the continuation of the Terrifier franchise featuring Art the Killer Clown. After resurrecting once again Art meets up with an old friend and begins a brand new killing spree. With Christmas just days away the hustle and bustle of holiday commercialism does a fantastic job of masking the fact that there is an eclectic killer dressed in bizarre mime clothes killing multiple people everywhere he goes in gruesome and disturbing ways. It's clear that Art is dead set on finding new and inventive ways to kill people and in this installment Art really goes for new territory. He's like the Luis and Clark of killing, he's just gotta map out that new lush land. Sienna from the last movie is back as well and trying to recover from her trauma but doesn't really have time to do that since she is about to experience trauma anew. Review Terrifier 3, terrifier 3. What more can be said about Terrifier 3 that has not yet been said. My utterance is yet a meager portion. For the true understanding lies in the viewing experience. I will never be able to explain this movie to you in a way that will give you the visceral experience I had in the theater watching flesh rip from bone. Maybe herein lies the perfect word to describe Terrifier 3. It separates. Skin from muscle. A lower jaw from the upper jaw. Left butt cheek from right butt cheek. Every way in which a body can be torn asunder, Terrifier 3 will separate. Separate the boys from the men. The weaklings from the strong. The feeble from the stable. And the queasy from the iron stomachs. I had a great time watching this disgusting movie. However, I won't pretend it was a perfect movie. It was pretty predictable. I knew Art would kill people and that Art killing people would take up a significant portion of the runtime, most of which doesn't add much to the actual plot. But hey, that's just terrifier baby. Score 8/10