137: The Misogyny & Psychology Behind Influencer Hate: Why Female Visibility Triggers Us
In this episode, we unpack why “influencer” has become a dirty word and explore the hidden psychology behind influencer hate, online criticism, and the way women’s success is judged in the digital age. We discuss whether society holds female creators to a different standard, the connection between visibility and misogyny, why women with platforms often become targets, and how we can separate valid accountability from unfair judgement.
Phi dives into social media culture, female entrepreneurship, beauty and lifestyle industries, jealousy, authenticity, ambition, and why women who build careers from their voice, personality, creativity, and communities can provoke such strong reactions. Is influencer criticism really about the content, or does it reveal something deeper about how we view successful women?
Resources from today's episode
Work with PhiLearn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Book a Human Design Reading with Phi here.Phi's book; The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life.Message Phi on InstagramEmail PhiPlay Retreat Sri Lanka November 2026Join The Monthly Reset (my free online personal growth community)Jasmine from Love Island's Substack
Introduction Influencer Misogyny
I saw a post recently that said something that genuinely made me stop and think:“Sometimes hating influencers is actually a socially acceptable form of subtle misogyny.”And I know that sentence is going to trigger people.Because “influencer” has become one of those words that people love to hate.It’s almost become an insult.Someone says, “She’s an influencer,” and there’s often an assumption attached:She’s fake.She’s shallow.She has no real skills.She’s obsessed with herself.She just takes photos and gets free things.And I want to unpack this because I think there is a much bigger cultural conversation happening underneath the influencer hate.Now, before anyone thinks this episode is “defending all influencers,” that’s not what I’m saying.There are absolutely valid criticisms of influencer culture.There are conversations around authenticity, consumerism, advertising transparency, privilege, overconsumption, unrealistic beauty standards, and people selling lifestyles that may not reflect reality.Those conversations matter.But I think we also need to ask ourselves:Why has “influencer” become such a specifically loaded word?And why are so many of the people who receive the most intense criticism women?
Rise of the Influencer
Let’s go back.The word influencer didn’t always exist in the way it does today.Before social media, we already had people influencing culture.Celebrities influenced fashion.Athletes influenced brands.Actors sold products.Musicians created trends.Magazines told us what beauty looked like.Advertising executives literally built entire careers around influencing consumer behaviour.But when everyday people, especially women, started building businesses online through their personalities, suddenly the conversation changed.A woman creating content from her bedroom, building a community, monetising her knowledge, selling products, creating businesses, or making money through her personal brand was often dismissed.“She just posts online.”But that sentence is interesting.Because historically, women’s work has often been minimised when it exists in spaces traditionally associated with femininity.Beauty.Fashion.Lifestyle.Relationships.Wellness.Community.Emotional labour.Things that women have always been doing, but society often doesn’t assign the same value to.
Why Does “Influencer” Feel Like a Dirty Word?
think one of the reasons the word influencer has become so controversial is because it challenges traditional ideas of what “real work” looks like.There is still a belief that if you are not exhausted, struggling, or hidden behind a corporate title,
