Free Therapy with Ben & Kevin

This week is about overthinking, anxiety and self-doubt, and simple tools you can use in the moment to stop them from running your life. Barry Michels is a legendary therapist with over 40 years in practice and co-author of The Tools with Phil Stutz. His work is built on a simple idea: understanding why you’re stuck isn’t enough, you need something you can actually do about it. He gives us three quick techniques you can use in seconds, for when you keep putting off the things you know would make your life better, when the people closest to you start getting under your skin, and when you can’t shake the feeling that you’re not enough. If you’ve ever known exactly what you need to do and still couldn’t make yourself do it, this one is for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 00:00:00 – Intro00:05:13 – Tool 1: Stop Avoiding What You Want00:13:38 – Tool 2: Stop Letting People Bother You00:22:09 – Tool 3: Stop Doubting Yourself00:32:05 – Barry’s Terminal Diagnosis00:40:10 – How to Help the Men Open UpSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week is our first ever Therapy in Session, where guys sent us anonymous messages about what they’re struggling with and a therapist answered them. Seth Menachem is back, a therapist here in LA who runs the Menachem Psychotherapy Group.  The questions covered getting back with an ex, starting over in a new career, losing yourself the second you start dating, and who should be paying on dates. Across all five, it became clear that when it comes down to it, we’re all going through a lot of the same struggles, and nobody is as alone in them as they think.  Got something you’re struggling with? Send us an anonymous voice note at freetherapypod.com/questions and you might hear it answered on the next Therapy in Session. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 00:00:00 – Intro00:02:04 – In Bed With an Ex00:09:25 – Scared to Start Over00:19:34 – Losing Yourself When Dating00:24:12 – Who Pays on Dates00:37:05 – Being More Present00:42:04 – Career UncertaintySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kristan Sargeant joins us to explore shadow work, the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide, and how they can keep us from going after what we want. You want to speak up, set a boundary, ask someone out or take a chance on something you care about. But then you imagine how it could go wrong, and talk yourself out of it. A coach who studied under Phil Stutz, Kristan explains how she works with the shame and fear of rejection underneath those moments. We get into why understanding your patterns doesn’t automatically change them, how needing everyone’s approval can quietly run your life, and what it means to stay on your own side even when things don’t go your way. She also shares practical exercises for getting to know your shadow and comparing what you’re afraid will happen with what actually happens when you take a risk. If you’ve ever known what you wanted to do and still couldn’t bring yourself to do it, this one is for you.00:00 intro to shadow work tools03:41 shadow work starts with self-acceptance10:08 hidden shame can drive behavior20:08 your triggers reveal your shadow26:29 others’ expectations can shape your life36:37 shadow work supports taking risksSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week is about what men really need to open up in a relationship, and why asking him to talk about his feelings might be the thing that makes him shut down. Kristina Ferrari is a licensed professional counselor with a master’s in mental health counseling, and she’s been in therapy herself for over 15 years. She makes the case that modern therapy is failing men because it’s built around a style that favors talking things through, while most guys show up wanting to solve something and move forward. As a therapist who does a lot of relationship work, she also challenges the idea that women are better at relationships, including how women communicate when they’re upset. Then she walks us through her REAL framework for working with men: Respect, Expertise, Action, and Leadership. It’s a roadmap for understanding what helps a man feel safe enough to get to the deeper stuff. If you’ve ever said “just tell me what’s going on” and gotten nothing back, this one is for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 00:00:00 – Intro00:01:42 – Why Therapy Is Failing Men00:05:03 – Coaching vs. Therapy00:17:18 – Women Aren’t Better at Relationships00:22:41 – The REAL FrameworkSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week is about the journey to healing, not the moment you lose someone, but everything it actually takes to rebuild after. Our guest is Zak Williams, mental health advocate, founder of the wellness brand Pym, and the son of Robin Williams. He's been in therapy since he was a small child, and that lifelong relationship with it is part of what's made him such a vocal advocate for men actually getting help. He talks about what actually helped him heal in the years after his father's death, and makes the case that recovery isn't one big breakthrough so much as a set of small, practical shifts - how you think, how you rest, how you show up for other people. It's less about getting over loss and more about building a life that can hold it. He also opens up about the kind of man his father was off-screen, the kindness and generosity that defined him, and by the end, we talk him into blind-ranking his dad's ten most iconic movies, from Good Morning, Vietnam to Mrs. Doubtfire. If you've ever lost someone and felt like you were supposed to have moved on by now, this one is for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it's not. So if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 00:00:00 – Intro 00:06:44 – Why Men Misunderstand Therapy 00:12:14 – Training Your Brain Like a Muscle 00:17:33 – Grief, Service, and Healing 00:23:10 – Ranking Robin Williams' Movies 00:28:02 – Building Pym After Loss See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we explore psychedelic therapy with Dr. Nick Brüss, whether it can help you heal, what people misunderstand about it, and why the experience itself is only part of the work. Dr. Nick Bruss is a therapist and researcher who has spent over a decade working in psychedelic-assisted therapy and Internal Family Systems (parts work). We talk about its potential to help people struggling with depression and PTSD, why understanding your past doesn’t always mean you feel better, and what it means to build a different relationship with your emotions. Nick helps us explore what healing requires, and how some of these lessons apply even if you never take psychedelics. If you understand why you’re struggling but still feel stuck, this one might be for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it's not. So if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 00:00 Intro05:04 Psychedelic Therapy: Benefits and Risks08:41 Ketamine, MDMA, Psilocybin, and the Research15:19 Feeling Stuck and Parts Work25:36 Getting Better at Feeling28:41 Integration and Healing Beyond the Session  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week is about OCD, what it actually is, why it's so widely misunderstood, and how it can look nothing like what you'd expect. Allegra Kastens is a licensed therapist here in LA who specializes in OCD, and this is the most in-depth conversation we've had on the topic. She breaks down the real difference between an intrusive thought and a compulsion, and makes the case that fighting or suppressing the thought is what actually keeps OCD in control. It's a far more common condition than people realize, and one of the least visible. If you've ever been scared by your own thoughts, or you love someone whose mind won't let something go, this one is for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it's not. So if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 00:00:00 – Intro 00:09:00 – What OCD Actually Is 00:15:10 – Taboo Obsessions and Why They're So Common 00:31:29 – OCD vs. OCPD 00:44:08 – Shame, Men, and Staying Silent 00:48:50 – Relationship OCD 00:54:17 – Getting Help See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week, we sit down with New York Times bestselling author and clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali to talk about why men feel so misunderstood and what we’re getting wrong about masculinity. We explore the pressures men face, how the way we raise boys shapes their relationships, and what it takes for men and women to better understand each other. It’s an honest, hopeful conversation about moving beyond blame, making room for strength and vulnerability, and raising a more emotionally connected generation. If you’ve ever struggled to understand yourself or the men in your life, this one is for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it's not. So if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional 00:00 Intro05:44 Conscious Masculinity17:34 Shame and Male Role Models28:31 Strength and Vulnerability36:47 Disconnection and Connection47:11 Raising Conscious BoysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week is about what actually makes a man attractive today, why vulnerability is the real glue in any relationship, and how to stop taking your partner's feedback as criticism. Aliza Shapiro is the therapist behind @therapist_in_nyc, and she has an incredible read on how relationships actually work right now. She breaks down the three traits women consistently find magnetic, and makes the case that holding it together isn't strength, opening up is. If you've ever held something back from your partner because you thought it would make you look weak, this one is for you. New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it's not. So if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.0:00 Intro05:28 Attraction goes beyond financial success15:30 Feedback can feel like criticism25:57 Expressing needs without assigning blame36:06 Feeling heard without fixing everything43:40 Opening up and repairing connectionSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week is about inner-child work, the patterns we carry from childhood, and how our past can continue to shape the way we think, feel, and behave as adults. Our guest is Kati Morton, a licensed therapist, author, and educator who has millions of followers online. She joins us to break down what inner-child work actually means, why certain patterns can be so difficult to change, and how understanding where they came from can help us respond differently in the present. We get into how our childhood experiences create an emotional blueprint for relationships, conflict, asking for help, and even how we see ourselves. Kati explains why we can know intellectually that a behavior isn't serving us and still find ourselves repeating it—and what we can actually do about it. We also talk about emotional triggers, boundaries, people-pleasing, and the difference between understanding your past and using it as an excuse. If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do, why you keep repeating the same patterns, or how much of your adult life is still being shaped by your childhood, this episode is for you. New episodes every Thursday. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy. And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it's not. So if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.