Her Mother Tongue

I am finally back. It has been a long year full of learning and I am excited to share it with you.To kick us off, as promised and promised, I finally gather the courage to express my feelings about plastic surgery and my sub fascial breast augmentation.I hope that what I learned can guide you if you are making a similar choice or battling some of the same questions in your head.I dive into my journey from perky boobs of my youth through nursing, losing volume, and wanting to feel more at home in my body again. The decision to get implants. The consults.And what happened after.The physical sensations. The complications. The exhaustion of holding something in your body that doesn’t feel right. The emotional weight of navigating that while raising kids, working, and moving through a divorce.About what happens when women make intimate decisions about their bodies inside systems that don’t always slow down, listen, or account for the full reality of our experience.And what it costs to override your own knowing. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

​​This episode is a balm to stress and overwhelm. If you are feeling trapped in the storm of life this episode is for you. Felica shares her favorite quick tips for regulating her nervous system when things are just too much!If you liked this episode don't forget to share it and leave a review! We appreciate you so much.Review of the week*nicole0304h*, 10/03/2023Can I be friends with them?I LOVE this podcast. As a mom, and a former therapist—they speak to my heart from such a real, empowering and practical perspective. I glean so many tips and tidbits from what they share and appreciate their honesty and ability to respect different points of views on topics. They truly do their research and have conversations that make me think, laugh and secretly want to be friends with them!Related Episodes Tips for Overcoming Distraction This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Our favorite sex therapist is back and this time we are challenging the assumption that sexual desire dies with long term relationships. Felica interviews Dr. Finlayson-Fife and they dive into the challenges we face to "keep the fire alive".Esther Perel said " Eroticism is the antithesis to everything a healthy family life needs, ritual, routine and knowing. Safety and security. Eroticism is adventure" , in this episode we tease out the nuance in this and discover what eroticism TRULY means. Hint ** it isn't all about sex/ desire.We also touch on the fact that families are more child centered than ever with higher expectations for couples. All responsibility often falls on parents, not community, institutions or society. We set up play dates and take pictures of and talk about and invest in our kids yet our personal and couple relationships are left to shrivel up. How can we do better?We tackle all this and more! Don't miss this chance to bring more erotic energy into your life. Links We Mentioned https://www.goodinside.com/podcast/4759/sex-after-kids-tell-me-more-esther-perel/Related EpisodesHow to Own Your Own Desires with Dr.Finlayson Fife Discovering Self within Our Sexuality & Overcoming Betrayal Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much! Each week we choose a winner to receive a FREE JOURNAL for leaving a review! Here is how to leave a review for us on iTunes:Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  Scroll to the bottom of the pageClick on write a reviewTap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

In this mini episode Felica helps us think about how we take on our role as mother. It is a blessing for all the women we have been and a challenge to shed our over identification with our labels. ENJOY! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

So often in parenting, we find ourselves...losing our cool, to put it nicely. We respond with anger; we use bribing or coercion to make our kids behave, and we hurt our relationship with our kids and ourselves in the process. In this episode, we take a deep dive into individual steps we can take anytime we find ourselves triggered by our kids’ behavior. We start with ourselves, pause, attune to our child, and then respond, not react, by setting limits and allowing logical consequences by looking at the need being expressed by our child’s behavior. This conversation will help you reframe difficult parenting situations and allow you to focus on the priority of your relationship. Take a pause to connect to your intuition when making decisions. Pay attention to what you fear and ask yourself why? Parenting helps us see ourselves more clearly. Don’t parent from a place of lack. The Pause - Give your self time and space with your children Use breath to bring yourself into the present moment and pause Sometimes bad behavior is a cry for connection.Time Stamps 8:00- How do we live from a place of authenticity when parenting 12:31 - Take a pause to connect to your intuition when making decisions 18:15 - Parenting from a place of lack vs. wholeness 21:00 - Meditation practice to give your child self love and acceptance 24:33 - Journal out your fears with your kids to process them 29:00 - The Pause - Give your self time and space with your children 37:30 - Zone of zero reactivity 46:50 - Come to each situation with a response vs. a reaction 52:31 - Natural consequences vs. Cultivating consequencesYou can listen to this episode on most other platforms here :)Are you feeling lost, unanchored or listless in your days? We use our daily planner and journal to align our core values with the tasks we do each day! You can learn more about it HERERelated EpisodesAuthoritative Parenting / Arguably the most EFFECTIVE Parenting Style Holding Boundaries / Discipline Pt. 1Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family ConnectionsParenting with Unconditional Love How to Embrace Childhood Books and links we mentioned;The Awakened Family // Shefali TsabaryThe Conscious Parent // Shefali Tsabary This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Original Post date 10/25/22Fear is a powerful emotion. All of us face it at some point of another, and often, it really puts a damper on the way we live our lives. It can interfere with us loving wholeheartedly and doing things that inspire (and scare) us. In this episode, Taralyn dives deep into the concept of facing and processing our fears so they don’t hold us back in life. She addresses 3 different kinds of fear, and walks you through steps to free yourself from the fears that don’t serve you.Books Taralyn Mentioned:Gift of Fear // Gavin De BeckerFear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm // Thich Nhat HanhRelated Episodes:Escaping the Trance of Unworthiness and Finding Self Acceptance WithinStaying Open to the Present Tapping Into the Abundance Inside Us This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

The holiday season can feel overwhelming because we feel the need to do everything to make them exciting and special. However, the beauty of having our own families is that we can intentionally choose the holiday activities that serve us and let go of the ones that don’t. The magic of family traditions is that they help our children feel a sense of belonging and gives them roots, which helps them identify with the connection of the family instead of peer groups and can help with their behavior.In this episode, we share the traditions that serve us with simplicity and joy and give you many options to try with your own family. We talk about how sometimes all it takes is to recognize the traditions we already have and capitalize on naming them and making them reoccurring and special. From Halloween fun, ways to be grateful in November and loads of Christmas and winter traditions we hope that this episode inspires you to create new memories with your family and recognize your current traditions to turn them into magical ones that repeat every year! You can listen to this episode on iTunes here and many other platforms here.Books we mentioned:Hold on to Your Kids // Gabor MateThe Entitlement Trap // Linda and Richard Eyre Food Nanny Rescues Dinner //  Liz Edmunds   Related Episodes:Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family Connections This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

There is nothing quite like parenting--it’s something we want to desperately do well at, and it is simultaneously one of the most difficult things that many of us will ever do. We face fears, failure, triggers of our own emotions, often while experiencing physical and emotional fatigue. However, because of this, children have the capacity to be our greatest teachers. They allow us the opportunity to truly look inside of ourselves when we are triggered, and wake up to our own nature. In this episode, Felica had the incredible opportunity of discussing this topic with parenting expert and author, Susan Stiffelman, MFT. She explains how we can use the practice of being present to truly use this journey we have as parents to truly evolve ourselves as we face the daunting task of raising humans to do the same. Her books and her words are unbelievably inspiring and will help you as you navigate your own parenting experience. You can learn more about Susan Stiffelman and her work and sign up for her newsletter on her website:  https://susanstiffelman.com. She is offering a webinar you can join her in about coparenting with a narcissist here.You can listen to this episode on iTunes here or on many other platforms here. Books we mentioned:Parenting with Presence // Susan Stiffelman  Parenting without Power Struggles // Susan Stiffelman Loving What Is // Byron Katie Playful Parenting // Lawrence Cohen Related Episodes:Finding Joy and Enthusiasm in Every DayThe Martyr Effect. HOW TO Stop Offering Ourselves at the Altar of ParentingStaying Open to the Present Tapping Into the Abundance Inside UsJanet Lansbury’s episode: The Best Way to Deal With Intense Tantrums  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

It can appear like people who are successful at achieving their goals simply possess an incredible amount of self control. That kind of belief lets us off the hook from creating the life we really want--we simply lack the self discipline, right? Well, it turns out that as we create habits that add value to our lives, we actually require LESS self control, not more. As we change our environment and our cues and rewards, we have the power to eliminate negative habits and build positive ones that can transform our life. Habits are the key to making our goals a reality. We discuss the science behind habits and explore the work of experts on the subject. We break down the steps for creating a good habit (or ridding yourself of a bad one), and give you applicable tips that you can use right away in your life. We share what has really worked in our own lives as we have experimented with habits and unlocked the magic of things like habit stacking.Books that inspired us:Atomic Habits // James ClearDeep Work // Cal NewportEssentialism // Greg McKeownGetting Things Done // David AllenThe Power of Habit // Charles DuhiggOur Related Episodes:Habits for High PerformanceSystems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family ConnectionMake Your Morning Routine Happen!We would love for you to share our episode with your friends and family. Also, thank you so much for your kind reviews! We are so honored to have such wonderful listeners.How to leave a review on iTunes:* Open podcast app* Search for Find the Magic* Click on episodes* Scroll to the bottom of the page* Click on write a review* Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)* Hit SENDThank you! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

We often receive the message that we can have it all; we can do it all. Social media messages, societal expectations, and our own self talk often feeds the lie that we can do EVERYTHING. When we don’t live up to the unrealistic expectation that we can do everything and succeed at everything, there is a cost to our mental health. In this episode, we discuss this topic with New York Times best selling author, Greg McKeown. He helps identify the lie that we can do everything, and instead offers a path of wisdom, balance, and priorities instead of the wild racing that we often indulge in when we are trying to say yes to everything. He gives us very applicable steps on how to make doing what truly matters to us easy.  BOOKS AND LINKS:Greg’s Website: https://gregmckeown.comEffortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most // Greg McKeown Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less // Greg McKeownRELATED EPISODES Essentialism / How to Do Less But BetterDiscovering YOUR Life Essentials This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe