Yes, And Otherwise: Feminist Conversations on Work, Rest & Power

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/FIND OUR PAST CONVERSATIONS AT https://yesandotherwise.com/Author Tamela J. Gordon (Hood Wellness) joins Becky and Faith to talk about “ugly healing,” the kind that is not linear, not soft-focus, and not a bubble bath. We start with what everyone is reading, then get into starting over in your forties, unlearning the polished wellness ideal, and why shame loves silence. We also talk about the strange loneliness that shows up after your dream comes true.Timestamps00:29 Icebreaker: what we’re reading right now06:22 The story that keeps following us: starting over13:20 Scarcity, hope, and the freedom of “I just got fired”17:42 Ugly healing vs. the soft-aura version of wellness22:08 The unhooking: restaurant work, Anthony Bourdain, and internalized misogyny27:53 Aging, the male gaze, and a beauty standard no one can meet33:30 The loneliness of deconstructing an old story35:11 Community care, visibility, and why shame loves silence42:46 What ugly healing looks like for Tamela right now45:45 What are you saying yes to today?46:43 Where to find Tamela and her workResources mentioned• Tamela’s Substack, Broke Woman Writer for Hire: https://substack.com/@shewritestolive• Tamela on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shewritestolive/• Tamela on Threads: https://www.threads.com/@shewritestolive• "Hood Wellness" by Tamela J. Gordon: https://link.amazon/B08MoE0dN• "American Scoundrel" by Kai Bird: https://link.amazon/B01V7492b• "Fear and Fury" by Heather Ann Thompson: https://link.amazon/B0bWQf0qs• "The Power Broker" by Robert Caro: https://link.amazon/B02HRwYGi• "The Book of Unknown Americans" by Cristina Henríquez: https://link.amazon/B0b2YByGK• "Watch Us Rise" by Renée Watson and Ellen Hagan: https://link.amazon/B0fAbaZ9n• "The Island of Sea Women" by Lisa See: https://link.amazon/B0geGZJuN• "Carrying" by Samantha Josephs: https://link.amazon/B0gUWlE2U• "If You Can’t Take the Heat" by Geraldine DeRuiter: https://link.amazon/B04IrYYFR• "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain: https://link.amazon/B0ayHqqRe• "Adult Braces" by Lindy West: https://link.amazon/B06dOFR78• Geraldine DeRuiter on Yes, and Otherwise: https://yesandotherwise.com/geraldine-deruiter/🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/FIND ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS AT https://yesandotherwise.com/Author Gemma Hartley (Fed Up) joins Becky and Faith to talk about her new book, No One Loves an Angry Woman: An Exvangelical Coming-of-Rage Story. They dig into why tradwife content is so seductive, how self-blame keeps systems intact, raising kids after leaving the church, and the difference between anger and dysregulation.In This Conversation00:15 Welcome and introducing Gemma Hartley04:33 Why are we so fascinated by tradwives?09:48 Groomed to vote for Trump: how does anyone get out?13:26 Self-blame and the “how could you?” thread of supremacist ideology15:45 Victim blaming, self-blame as system protection, and capitalism’s individual solutions18:00 Systems protect themselves by blaming the individual20:36 Self-surveillance, conditioning, and why angry women are disruptive24:43 Sending kids to the Bible camp Gemma attended and talking about sin28:34 Jamaican vs. white evangelical spaces and living in “polluted water”31:20 Public school, patriotism, and letting kids explore with a soft place to land33:51 Who the book is for and seeing your conditioning with compassion37:49 Anger vs. dysregulation, rage on the yoga mat, and anger as a teacher41:21 How Fed Up connects: emotional labor and the capacity to feel anger47:04 Loving angry women, placating, and proximity to whiteness50:23 Where to find Gemma’s bookResources MentionedNo One Loves an Angry Woman: An Exvangelical Coming-of-Rage Story by Gemma Hartley: https://link.amazon/B0bOv7oEnFed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley: https://link.amazon/B06vGCwnYLittle Women by Louisa May Alcott: https://link.amazon/B0aWMgBnnSong of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce: https://link.amazon/B0fGUYVciThe Famous Five and The Secret Seven by Enid Blyton: https://link.amazon/B0bho6IcYYesteryear by Caro Claire Burke: https://link.amazon/B0af4siduTrad Wife by Sarah Langan: https://link.amazon/B0fwS0nN9A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings: https://link.amazon/B09y3rz7XMomfluenced by Sara Petersen: https://link.amazon/B0fS0ZkorFaithfully Dissident Daughters: Reclaiming Christian Womanhood Beyond Patriarchy by Chelsea Kim Long: https://link.amazon/B00xTkfrNStella Maris by Cormac McCarthy: https://link.amazon/B0hNn1JwqI Didn't Want to be Angry from Faith’s Substack: https://faithwithlife.substack.com/p/i-didnt-want-to-be-angryHeart Full, Can't Breathe from Faith's Substack: https://faithwithlife.substack.com/p/heart-full-cant-breathe🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/FIND ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS AT https://yesandotherwise.com/Actor, writer, producer, and Inclusion Rider co-author Fanshen Cox joins Becky and Faith to talk about representation in Hollywood, why individual-led and policy-led DEI efforts keep collapsing into lip service, and how she's returned to building community and centering storytellers through Sister Brunch and her production company, TruJuLo (Truth, Justice, Love).In this conversation:01:32 Movies that made us feel seen07:19 Discovering the power of storytelling and the meaning behind the name "Fanshen"10:44 Raising socially conscious kids: the burden, and the need to keep them safe15:25 Black women's hair, personal choice, and not becoming the oppressor22:26 Theater vs. film/TV acting and the power of casting directors26:44 #OscarsSoWhite, going back for an MFA, and the one-woman show One Drop of Love28:35 Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Project Greenlight, and co-authoring the Inclusion Rider32:12 Moving into development and writing DEIA policy at the California Film Commission35:08 Empowering storytellers: Sister Brunch and TruJuLo39:39 The Black Panther Party legacy, communal upbringing, and fear of retaliation42:39 Capitalism, homeownership, and what happens when anyone gets too much power46:52 Not canceling ourselves, and the limits of shaming52:18 Hollywood as a system: finding agency and community56:29 A decade after #OscarsSoWhite: backsliding on representationResources mentioned:Sista Brunch podcast: https://www.sistabrunch.com/TruJuLo Productions: https://www.trujulo.com/KweliTV: https://www.kweli.tv/"Fanshen" by William Hinton: https://link.amazon/B0cTyzF9y"We Will Not Cancel Us" by adrienne maree brown: https://link.amazon/B044X1c8X🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/FIND ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS AT https://YesAndOtherwise.comMost boundary advice is about rules: what to say and where to draw the line. Trauma therapist turned boundary coach Judy Hu, author of "The Boundary Revolution," says that's the last step. Becky and Faith talk with Judy about healing boundaries at the root, which means coming back to "same-size" with everyone else, treating discomfort as ancestral information, and asking whether what we call personality is really an adaptation to trauma. They also cover raising teens in a culture that tells girls what they're worth, why safety in empire often just means survival, what the Cornell case shows about domination and moral injury, and how to hold people accountable without repeating the harm.00:41 From trauma therapist to boundary coach, and seeing collective trauma everywhere02:18 Icebreaker: favorite childhood TV shows05:27 The story on repeat: teen daughters, unsupervised parties, and messages about worth10:31 Judy's earliest memory: growing up in an immigrant family in a mostly white community12:10 Encouraging defiance while keeping kids safe18:50 Pleasing someone outside vs. inside; decolonization as reclaiming the body21:09 Cornell, body sovereignty, and why this hurts in our bones23:30 Healed boundaries: the felt circles and "same-sizedness"30:11 Healing in community and reparenting the wounded child and adaptive teen34:01 "I am the dream of my ancestors": healing backward and forward37:19 Healed boundaries vs. boundary "rules"42:18 Cornell as microcosm: empathy without excusing harm47:01 Directing rage at the system; conflict as a path to authentic connection50:18 Yes and Otherwise: asking for help and tolerating receiving itResources Mentioned• The Boundary Revolution: Decolonize Your Relationships and Discover a New Path to Joy by Judy Hu (book and audiobook)• Judy Hu: theboundaryrevolution.com• My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem• Kinstead, an intentional community in the Hudson Valley, NY• Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/If you tensed up when you heard "math," this episode is for you. Becky and Faith talk with Dr. Geillan Aly, mathematician, educator, and author of Compassionate Math, about math trauma. They get into where it comes from, why math shame hits harder than shame in other subjects, and how school systems decide who gets to be "a math person." Geillan shares how she went from publishing to a math PhD program, where she was told she wasn't smart enough, and later left the tenure track over how faculty talked about their students. The conversation covers stereotype threat, "show your work," the inequities built into schooling, and how math trauma follows adults into boardrooms. It ends on a simple way to start healing: play.01:05 Icebreaker: AI proving theorems, cozy fall recipes, and queer Black art07:06 Catastrophizing, past experiences, and why the stakes feel so high09:40 Vulnerability in math class, and why math shame cuts deeper11:02 The "three Rs," standardized testing, and the fear of reading aloud12:39 Geillan's path from history major and New York publishing to a math PhD program16:40 The equity problems, and faculty attitudes like "make the first exam hard so they drop"18:05 Leaving the tenure track and founding Compassionate Math18:50 Becky's school equity advocacy: AP enrollment, no Black teachers, and Nikole Hannah-Jones' essay21:28 Faith on the education system as colonizer, and Claude Steele's research on stereotype threat26:23 "Show your work": knowing the answer but not being able to explain it32:35 Faith builds mathematical literacy while homeschooling. What is math even for?36:41 How math shapes life outcomes, Original Sins, and a system working as designed38:27 Math trauma in adults: perimenopausal women, a rock star still mad about algebra, and KPI-heavy meetings42:11 How to heal: separating your stories from your skills48:09 Geillan's wish: a math trauma Netflix special50:03 Yes and: being more open and celebrating life on purpose51:44 Where to find GeillanResources Mentioned: • "Compassionate Math" by Geillan Aly: https://www.619wreath.com/store/p42/compassionate-math.html• Geillan Aly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/geillan-aly/• "Original Sins" by Eve L. Ewing: https://link.amazon/B0364VKbX• Nikole Hannah-Jones' New York Times Magazine essay: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/20/magazine/ny-public-schools-black-students-segregation.html• Claude Steele's research on stereotype threat: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-12938-001• Cuisenaire rods: https://link.amazon/B0fHS56gA• Faith Clarke's Decolonizing Work series: https://www.faithclarke.com/listen-to-decolonize-work🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/Dr. Judy Wright, physician and sustainable success expert, joins Becky and Faith for a candid conversation about self-advocacy in medical settings, the racial bias baked into the healthcare system, and the burnout that high-achieving women often don't recognize until it's severe. Dr. Wright shares her own journey through medical school (including an undiagnosed learning difference), multiple rounds of burnout across academia, clinical medicine, and corporate work, and the practical, low-lift ways she teaches women to reclaim their time and energy.Discover other conversations from the margins at YesAndOtherwise.comTopics Discussed:(00:15) Intro: Dr. Judy Wright's background, the Power Balance and PACE framework(00:52) Becky's practice of refusing to be weighed at the doctor, and why(01:59) "You're the CEO of your health" — reclaiming power with your medical team(02:42) Dr. Wright's own story: a doctor who pushed weight-loss surgery instead of treating her migraine(07:18) Advocating for others vs. advocating for yourself; Dr. Wright's father's hospitalization(09:05) Faith on advocating for her autistic son vs. self-advocacy; the "God complex" trope(11:24) Why physicians come off rushed, and why that's still on the patient to navigate(13:21) Underrepresentation of Black doctors and racial bias in med-school clinical scoring(15:33) Dr. Wright's own struggles with standardized testing and an undiagnosed learning difference(18:xx) "A face you recognize that recognizes you back" — trust and representation in care(21:03) Faith's story of a doctor who truly listened about her son's care(22:38) Wanting to "know the story" — treating patients as whole people, not case files(23:50) Introducing stereotype threat (Claude Steele's research) and its link to burnout(26:06) Dr. Wright on feeling like her success was "luck," not skill(28:33) Burning out multiple times — academia, clinical medicine, and corporate — without having the language for it(32:31) Faith's "US 15 pounds" and unrecognized burnout in grad school(34:03) The PACE method: the power of intentional pauses (and Dr. Wright's cancer diagnosis as a turning point)(38:33) Self-care doesn't require a spa — small, cumulative pauses count(41:02) The "superwoman complex" and the guilt of claiming time for yourself(43:41) Overfunctioning vs. underfunctioning (quoting Dr. Shanika Walker Barnes)(44:10) Becky on gendered guilt: her husband's 20-minute showers vs. her own guilt(46:02) Helping high-achieving women believe they're allowed to slow down(49:xx) Auditing your calendar instead of assuming every meeting is mandatory(53:34) Where to find Dr. Wright, and closing questions: Yes, And, OtherwiseResources Mentioned:Dr. Judy Wright: https://www.thepowerbalance.com/Dr. Wright Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/JudyWrightMDDr. Wright LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judywrightmd/Claude Steele on stereotype threat: https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2016/11/claude-steele-explains-stereotype-threatDr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes: https://www.drchanequa.com/🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/Beckty Mollenkamp and Faith Clarke sit down with Megan Fuciarelli, speaker and "authenticity amplifier," to talk about the flip side of a conversation we hear constantly: not how to be authentic, but how to actually receive someone else's authenticity when they show up as their full selves. Megan shares her own story of being othered as a child, discovering at 15 that she was adopted, and how decades of people-pleasing and masking shaped the DEI and belonging work she does today. The conversation digs into the real difference between masking and cloaking a part of yourself, why "not everyone deserves your authenticity," the gap between intent and impact, why professionalism norms are rooted in racism and sexism, and how leaders and everyday people can hold space for identities and experiences different from their own without guilt, shame, or blame.Timestamps:00:15 — Welcome and introducing Megan Fuciarelli05:55 — What repeated story has Megan been living lately?08:16 — Bullied, never enough, and "closeted acceptance" as a kid09:00 — Finding out at 15 that she was adopted12:31 — Becky's own earliest memory of not feeling welcome15:00 — How early wounding creates people-pleasing16:59 — Imposter syndrome vs. "am I being who I actually am?"17:13 — Not everyone deserves your authenticity (masking vs. cloaking)20:42 — Why you can't fully receive someone else's authenticity until you've done your own work22:07 — What "receiving authenticity" actually looks like in practice27:01 — Intent vs. impact — who controls what29:48 — A recent example of Megan's authenticity not being received34:12 — Giving people grace for where they are on their journey39:25 — The urge to prove "I know better," and giving yourself grace 43:02 — Systemic vs. systematic: what happens when institutions know better and don't change47:25 — Boundaries as agreements, not arbitrary rules49:26 — Faith's story: parenting an autistic son and the real risk of breaking "professionalism" norms51:29 — Authenticity isn't fixed, it changes day to day54:16 — Closing round: what are you leaving this conversation saying yes to?57:56 — Where to find Megan: Us 2 Consulting and Megan Fuciarelli❤️ Learn more about Megan's work at https://us2consulting.com/🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/👏 SUPPORT OUR WORK BY SUBSCRIBING AT https://yesandotherwise.substack.com/subscribe

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/Welcome to Yes and Otherwise, the new name (and new season) for what was Feminist Founders. In this launch episode, hosts Becky Mollenkamp and Faith Clarke pull back the curtain on why they rebranded, what's changing, and what stays the same. They talk about choosing storytelling over coaching-and-content, why "feminist founders" no longer felt like the right container (and its exclusionary history), and how "yes and otherwise" reflects their improv-rooted, both/and approach to conversation. They also introduce a new paid supporter tier, kicking off with a bonus audio offering called "The Collective Exhale," on releasing invisible and emotional labor, the "lead bird" burnout pattern, and what it means to let storytelling and community-building be valuable work in their own right.• (00:16) Welcome to Yes and Otherwise — introducing the rebrand from Feminist Founders• (01:16) Why the change: two years of experimenting, evolving, and having hard conversations as partners• (01:42) Becky's journalism background and missing storytelling for its own sake, not for a "corporate overlord"• (03:03) Faith on centering human stories amid a chaotic, shifting external environment• (05:29) The "life-giving" test: choosing storytelling and curation over what felt sticky or forced• (07:00) The new website, yesandotherwise.com — searchable topics, curated "story bundles," and stories in conversation with each other• (08:15) What's changing about the newsletter: less frequent, more substantive, connecting past and present conversations• (08:18) Introducing a paid supporter tier and what it funds (labor, not just content)• (10:42) Why they changed the name: the meaning behind "Yes and" (improv, expansiveness) and "Otherwise" (the other, the why, who's missing)• (13:18) Why not "Feminist Founders" anymore — the term's exclusionary history and who it repels• (17:12) Faith on identity, framing, and building a shared story from different starting points• (18:17) Reclaiming storytelling and community-building as labor that deserves compensation• (20:02) Introducing "The Collective Exhale" — releasing invisible labor and the "lead bird" analogy for burnout• (22:44) Emotional labor, burnout, and the weight women are conditioned to carry• (23:53) Looking back at recent conversations: period care with Mariah Brewer, colorism with Dr. Sarah Webb, and hair• (25:50) Faith's invitation to become a paid subscriber, practice over knowledge• (26:53) Closing thoughts and what's coming nextBECOME A PAID SUPPORTER/SUBSCRIBER OF YES AND OTHERWISE at  https://yesandotherwise.substack.com/subscribe

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/Colorism shapes who gets hired, who's trusted, who's seen as beautiful (and who's called dangerous) often within the same racial group. In this episode, Becky Mollenkamp and Faith Clarke sit down with Dr. Sarah L. Webb, author of Colorism and founder of Colorism Healing, to unpack what colorism is, how it forms in early childhood, and why white people can't opt out of the conversation just because it "isn't their issue."In this episode:(00:15) Welcome — introducing Dr. Sarah Webb, author of Colorism and founder of Colorism Healing(00:41) Icebreaker: the last thing you splurged on just for you(04:00) Dr. Webb's earliest memory of noticing colorism — before she even had the language for it(06:23) Why white parents avoiding "race talk" with kids misses the mark, and why colorism isn't discussed even in households of color(08:48) Faith joins and shares her grandmother's story growing up in Jamaica(14:19) How Dr. Webb's own healing journey began — the Dark Girls documentary and a moment from Ta-Nehisi Coates(15:34) The hardest part of healing from colorism: never knowing when it will happen again(18:56) Faith's own colorism journey growing up in Jamaica vs. the U.S.(24:05) Faith on power dynamics with neurodivergent, queer family members(25:10) Becky reflects on her own white positionality and how she came to understand colorism wasn't "someone else's issue"(27:25) Why colorism is everyone's work — racial profiling, the justice system, and disparities within the same race(31:08) Fearing the Black Body and how race gets constructed and weaponized(32:58) Colorism among people who share the same skin tone — a museum story(34:28) Is "we're willing to talk about race but not colorism" a form of virtue signaling?(38:09) Faith on "proximity to whiteness" and America's obsession with checklists over systems thinking(42:23) Colorism in media and Hollywood — patterns in who gets cast as masculine vs. feminine, and by skin tone(45:34) The how: translating awareness into daily practice, not just workshops(46:30) Dr. Webb on the second half of her book — the politics of skin tone and how we get free(51:40) Closing ritual: what are you saying yes (and otherwise) to?Resources mentioned:Colorism by Dr. Sarah L. Webb: https://amzn.to/4xNPxenColorism Healing: https://colorismhealing.com/Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings: https://amzn.to/4xKDRcb🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/What if the goal was never "safe" spaces but safer ones? Becky Mollenkamp and Faith Clarke sit down with Sydney Elaine Butler, founder of Accessible Creates. They're a biracial, non-binary, autistic entrepreneur living with chronic pain and complex PTSD, and this is a fantastic conversation about intersectionality, disability inclusion, and what it really takes to let people bring their whole selves to work.Sydney shares how their childhood role as "the helper" shaped their career supporting people with disabilities, what it's like to code-switch between Black and white spaces as a biracial person, and why so much workplace DEI work stalls out at compliance instead of getting to the people actually living the policies. In this episode:(00:15) Icebreaker: the cartoon character you relate to most (Papa Smurf, Atomic Betty, Encanto's Luisa, and Inside Out 2's Anxiety all make an appearance)(06:23) Sydney's full-circle moment speaking at the Canadian Autism Leadership Summit(08:16) The story that isn't being told: intersectionality in disability and DEI work(10:14) Code-switching as a biracial, non-binary woman — and what safety has to do with it(16:23) What changes when we stop collapsing identities and start expanding them(23:04) Why so much corporate DEI work stays surface-level — and what real accountability looks like(26:16) Sydney's shift from "expert" to focus groups: centering the people living the policy(33:06) Safe vs. safer spaces — and why "safe" might be a promise no one can actually keep(44:07) Filling your own cup: solitude, boundaries, and unlearning the "selfish" narrative(51:41) The Resmaa Menakem story: what happens when a room chooses care over the agenda(54:04) A real-time example of building accommodation into a relationship, mid-conversation(56:14) Closing ritual: Yes, and... OtherwiseAbout the guest: Sydney Elaine Butler is the founder of Accessible Creates, working with organizations on disability policy, accessibility, and inclusive workplace practice. Learn more at accessiblecreates.ca.🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/