Connection Codes

Tera, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis dive right into the deep emotional impact of hurt and how it shapes our decisions, often leading us to throw out meaningful connections. They discuss the origins of the phrase “throwing the baby out with the bathwater” and share examples where unresolved pain led to disconnection—from friendships to church experiences and even political divides. The Connection Codes team discusses the importance of staying curious, processing emotions like hurt and fear, and choosing connection over isolation. This is a very powerful conversation about making your way through personal and communal hard situations while holding onto what truly matters. Links and Resources: To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/wheel To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help Chapters: 00:00:00 - The Weight of Hurt Unpacked 00:00:52 - Meet the Voices Behind Connection 00:01:23 - Baby, Bathwater, and a Bigger Problem 00:05:51 - Stories That Still Sting 00:11:55 - Science Meets Hurt: The Brain’s Alarm 00:13:14 - Love in the Time of Pain 00:17:35 - Faith, Hurt, and a Bigger Picture 00:22:28 - When Churches Stop Listening 00:24:45 - Conversations That Change Everything 00:26:33 - Moving Through Pain, Step by Step 00:29:02 - How Pain Creates Growth 00:32:39 - Politics, Curiosity, and Connection 00:35:52 - Healing Starts with Acknowledgment 00:43:11 - A Final Look at Connection

Tera, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis talk about the surprising ways emotions can surface and the impact they have on our lives and connections. Phyllis shares a deeply personal moment when a Broadway play unexpectedly brought her to tears, triggering memories and grief she hadn’t felt in years. Tera, Glenn, and Phyllis reflect on the Connection Codes principle that emotions happen to us, often without warning, and how embracing this truth can lead to deeper connection and healing. They also discuss how society often misjudges emotional responses, and why learning to honor and process our feelings—rather than suppress them—can transform relationships and self-understanding. Don’t miss this heartfelt conversation that reminds us how emotion shapes our human experience. Links and Resources: To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠⁠ Chapters 00:00:00 - The Connection Codes Unveiled 00:01:23 - Phyllis Faces Unexpected Emotions 00:03:02 - A Play That Triggered the Past 00:05:16 - Grief Through the Lens of Broadway 00:08:57 - Supporting Emotions in Real Time 00:15:10 - The Depth of Emotional Pain 00:18:58 - Navigating Intense Emotional Waves 00:22:24 - A Stranger’s Unsettling Encounter 00:24:32 - What Drives Human Behavior 00:27:25 - Exploring the Core Emotion Wheel 00:30:52 - Emotions from New York Adventures 00:36:59 - Wrapping Up with Encouragement

Tera sits down with Sharon McMahon, widely known as America’s government teacher, to discuss the power of fear as a driver in politics and history. They discuss how emotions influence decision-making, the importance of warm relationships in bridging divides, and the steps individuals can take to create meaningful change in their communities. Sharon shares insights from her journey, highlights from her new book, The Small and the Mighty, and advice for navigating today’s polarized world. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Connect with Sharon McMahon: Sharon McMahon: https://sharonmcmahon.com  Sharon on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonsaysso  Here’s Where It Gets Interesting Podcast: https://sharonmcmahon.com/podcast  The Small and the Mighty by Sharon McMahon: https://sharonmcmahon.com/book Chapters 00:00:00 - Meeting Sharon McMahon: America’s Government Teacher 00:01:59 - A Bold Leap into Education and Public Service 00:06:23 - How Fear Shapes History: Lessons We Need Today 00:12:30 - Fear as the Catalyst: Understanding Its Political Grip 00:17:41 - Politics Powered by Fear: Unpacking its Influence 00:27:14 - Uniting in Division: Strategies to Find Common Ground 00:29:08 - Social Media's Role in Isolation and Connection 00:34:08 - Big Impacts, Small Actions: How to Make a Difference 00:39:36 - Building a Legacy in a Digital World 00:40:46 - Stories of Unsung Heroes: Honoring Quiet Courage 00:51:13 - Supporting Roles: The Glue of Great Achievements 00:52:29 - Closing Reflections: Lessons to Take Forward⁠

Erika and Jordan Koop are back with the Connection Codes team to discuss creating meaningful connections within relationships and communities. From their initial struggles with applying Connection Codes to their eventual success in fostering a culture of emotional fluency in their northern Canadian community, their story gives you a look into both the challenges and rewards of building relational resilience. The conversation goes into the impact of vulnerability, the reality of conflict in close relationships, and steps for bringing transformative tools to others. The Koops show how connection can thrive even in the midst of personal and communal challenges. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠⁠ Connect with The Koops: Erika and Jordan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/questforthecore Chapters 00:00:00 – The Start of a Connection Revolution 00:00:29 – Meet Jordan and Erica Koop 00:01:27 – A Message from Northern Canada 00:03:42 – The Koops’ Path to Connection Mastery 00:05:35 – Overcoming Barriers to Build Community 00:06:14 – The Key to Group Dynamics Success 00:09:01 – Profound Impacts of Connection Codes 00:16:10 – Personal Growth Through Emotional Challenges 00:27:17 – Navigating Shame and Fear in Relationships 00:28:30 – Exploring Emotional Cycles and the Pit of Despair 00:29:47 – Why Real-Time Emotional Processing Matters 00:31:23 – The Blueprint for a Supportive Community 00:34:33 – Vulnerability’s Role in Deepening Relationships 00:38:57 – Steps to Foster a Culture of Vulnerability 00:40:55 – Tangible Stories of Vulnerability at Work 00:45:12 – Empowering Community Builders with Resources 00:50:31 – Wrapping Up with Encouragement

Tera Wages and Echo Vetter Hill are discussing the realities of emotional awareness, exploring how emotions show up in our bodies and what they’re really telling us. They talk about the link between sensations and feelings, the purpose behind emotions like anger and sadness, and why we often resist our own needs. Together, they look at how facing pain can lead to real growth and how connecting with our emotions can transform relationships and self-understanding. Tera also guides you through the Core Emotion Wheel, giving you a look at a tool for identifying and processing what’s going on beneath the surface. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠ Connect with Echo Hill Vetter: Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠ Echo on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠ Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠ Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter Chapters: 00:00:00 — Start of the journey with Connection Codes 00:00:35 — Discovering needs with Echo Vetter Hill 00:02:42 — Emotions decoded: What do they do? 00:07:16 — Sensations and self-awareness 00:13:02 — Emotions stored in the body 00:19:14 — Differentiating acute and chronic emotional pain 00:27:40 — The surprising strength of anger 00:35:52 — Building connection: The real practice 00:36:35 — Embracing vulnerability with emotion 00:38:30 — Recognizing and managing hurt 00:38:51 — Weighing pain against growth 00:44:38 — Facing sadness and navigating loss 00:47:59 — Loneliness exposed and finding support 00:55:19 — Guilt, shame, and rewriting our actions 00:59:55 — Unlocking the Core Emotion Wheel 01:06:45 — Final reflections and encouragement

Tera welcomes the co-creator of Connection Codes, Echo Hill Vetter. She’s a trauma informed coach as well as a parenting and lead coach. Today they’re discussing the power of beliefs and how they shape our identities, often keeping us in what Echo calls a "tiny little box." As they talk about the emotional weight of Election Day, they explore why differing perspectives can feel threatening and how fear plays a central role in our reactions. Tera and Echo discuss the impact of generational experiences and challenge you to approach differing beliefs with curiosity rather than judgment. Tera shares her own journey toward openness, encouraging you to stay connected to yourself and others, even when it feels uncomfortable. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Connect with Echo Hill Vetter: Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: https://substack.com/@echohillvetter Echo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: https://calendly.com/echohillvetter Echo’s LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter Chapters: 00:00:00 - Election Day Reflections and Emotional Intensity 00:01:58 - Exploring How Beliefs Shape Identity 00:03:22 - The Role of Fear in Feeling Safe 00:04:43 - When Beliefs No Longer Fit 00:08:19 - Echo’s Personal Journey with Shifting Beliefs 00:10:13 - Finding Connection through Curiosity 00:14:58 - Using Emotional Awareness to Bridge Differences 00:20:33 - Discovering Common Ground Through Shared Fears 00:27:15 - Core Emotion Wheel: A Tool for Connection 00:30:47 - Final Reflections on Staying Connected

The Connection Codes Team are talking about the topic of male sexuality and vulnerability. With insights from listener feedback and an open discussion, they take a look at the hidden messages men receive about sex and desire—messages that create shame and emotional distance. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis share personal experiences and clinical observations on how societal pressures force men to conceal their struggles, while Tera brings a fresh perspective on how these issues affect marriages. Together, they discuss how acknowledging and unpacking these messages can lead to healthier connections and break down emotional barriers. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠ Chapters: 00:00:00 - Starting the Conversation on Male Sexuality 00:00:49 - Listener’s Challenge Sparks a Deep Dive 00:04:01 - Untold Stories and Hidden Experiences 00:05:27 - The Influence of Cultural Messages 00:12:34 - Unpacking Lust and Attraction 00:21:45 - Navigating Purity Culture’s Impact 00:31:54 - Biblical Takes on Lust: A Fresh Look 00:36:59 - Understanding the Greek Roots of Lust 00:38:06 - When Does Lust Become Sin? 00:39:08 - Attraction Stories That Shape Us 00:42:23 - What It Means to Be "Missing" in Marriage 00:45:05 - Surprising Insights from Pre-Marriage Talks 00:50:00 - Honest Conversations in Pre-Marriage Counseling 00:56:08 - How Honesty Reshapes Relationships 01:03:14 - Wrapping Up with Core Emotion Reflections

Tera and Phyllis talk about overcoming long-standing taboos around sexual exploration in relationships. They discuss listener questions about intimacy and vulnerability, reflecting on personal stories of breaking through fear and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of open communication, mutual trust, and being adventurous in the bedroom—whether that means trying pole dancing, exploring phone sex, or simply processing long-held fears. This episode challenges listeners to move past societal judgments and find what works for them and their partners, pointing out that every couple’s journey is unique. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Girl Time Vibes 00:00:50 Welcome to the Connection Codes 00:01:36 Unveiling a Listener's Email 00:03:26 Phyllis’s U-Haul Truck Adventure 00:05:12 Pushing the Boundaries in Sexual Adventure 00:07:44 Freeing Yourself from Shame and Judgment 00:12:52 Opening Up: Boundaries and Personal Comfort 00:14:10 Why Communication Is the Key to Intimacy 00:18:26 Chair Dancing: Phyllis’s Unexpected Confidence Boost 00:20:27 Staying Intimately Connected Across Distance 00:21:47 Girlfriends Sharing Bold Relationship Tips 00:23:34 Facing Shame and Embracing Vulnerability 00:24:03 The Joy of Fiction: A Surprising Tool for Sexual Exploration 00:26:32 From Theater to Bedroom: Removing Barriers 00:28:19 Self-Awareness: A Pathway to Sexual Exploration 00:31:00 Adventure in the Bedroom at Any Age 00:35:21 Processing Emotions Surrounding Sex 00:42:34 How to Build Safety and Curiosity in Relationships 00:44:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Therapist and author Sam Jolman joins Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to discuss the topic of masculine sexuality. They discuss the ways men’s sexual identities are shaped by early experiences, cultural messages, and religious teachings. Sam shares stories and insights on how men can reclaim their sexuality by embracing vulnerability, addressing shame, and learning to see sex as a form of play rather than performance. The conversation also touches on common challenges in sexual relationships, the importance of open communication, and how better sexual education can lead to deeper emotional connections. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠⁠ Connect with Sam: Sam Jolman: https://www.samjolman.com/  Sam on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samjolman/  Sam on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/samjolmancounseling  Sam’s Substack - the heart of it: https://samjolman.substack.com/ The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman: https://tinyurl.com/4s7b47pr  Story Formed by Sam Jolman: https://tinyurl.com/53sy8amx Chapters: 00:00:00 – Setting the Stage: Why This Episode Stands Out 00:01:38 – Meet Sam Jolman: A New Voice in Masculine Sexuality 00:03:48 – Redefining Masculine Sexuality Through Personal Stories 00:06:52 – Real-Life Experiences That Shape Our Sexual Identity 00:09:55 – Why Sexual Education Is More Important Than Ever 00:14:03 – Navigating Challenges in Today’s Sexual Relationships 00:20:20 – The Strength in Vulnerability: Opening Up About Sexuality 00:25:01 – How to Clearly Communicate Your Sexual Needs 00:27:29 – Breaking Down Sexual Play and Its Importance in Relationships 00:28:28 – Understanding the Boundaries: Consent and Desire 00:29:37 – The Neurological Basis for Play and Vulnerability 00:32:32 – The Root of Miscommunication in Sexual Relationships 00:34:24 – Overcoming Fear and Embracing Playfulness in Intimacy 00:47:13 – The Hidden Power of Non-Sexual Play in Strengthening Bonds 00:48:37 – Wrapping It Up: Key Takeaways from the Conversation

The discussion in this episode is about the dynamics of conflict in marriage, exploring how trying to "win" an argument can lead to emotional disconnection. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill unpack the idea of the "courtroom" in relationships, where couples focus on proving who's right instead of understanding each other's emotions. They discuss how this leads to loneliness, especially in areas like sex, and share tools to shift from battling over facts to building deeper emotional connection. Whether it's about resolving conflict or dealing with sexual loneliness, you’ll be offered a path to transforming your relationship. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠ Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening the Courtroom: How Conflicts Become Trials in Marriage 00:01:21 - Marriage as a Battlefield: The Story Behind the Courtroom Mentality 00:03:05 - The Burden of Being Right: When Winning Means Losing 00:04:21 - Logistics vs. Emotions: The Trap of Disconnected Arguments 00:09:45 - The High Cost of Winning: How Arguments Lead to Disconnection 00:14:36 - Exhaustion and Innocence: Why Proving Your Case Drains You 00:21:36 - The Unseen Toll: Navigating Emotional Chaos 00:22:20 - Sexual Loneliness Unveiled: A Pain Often Ignored 00:23:05 - Connection Through Conversation: How Words Heal 00:24:54 - Validation’s Power: The Key to Emotional Harmony 00:26:37 - Conflict as Connection: Transformative Approaches 00:27:40 - Practical Tools for Lasting Emotional Intimacy 00:29:32 - Reflecting on Past Wounds: Why Emotional Tools Matter 00:33:19 - Emotional Mastery: Building the Right Relationship Toolkit 00:37:15 - Healing Old Wounds: How Emotional Tools Transform Relationships 00:41:48 - Encouragement & Wrap-Up: Moving Forward with Connection