Coming Up for Air

Do you ever feel like you'd quite like to meet someone, but the thought of actually dating makes you want to stay single indefinitely?You want the relationship, but you don't particularly want the awkward first dates, the endless conversations, the uncertainty or the effort of getting to know somebody who might not go anywhere.In this episode, I am getting into why dating can feel so unappealing when you genuinely want to meet someone. Have you become too quick to dismiss people? Are you expecting an instant connection with somebody you've known for two hours? And are you really leaving things to fate, or have you made it practically impossible for anyone to come into your life?I will also talk about the uncomfortable difference between being open to a relationship and actually being willing to meet people, why dating can start to feel like a second job, and how to approach it differently without forcing yourself onto the apps or settling for someone you don't particularly like.Because maybe the question isn't whether you want a relationship. Maybe it's whether you're willing to go through the process of finding one.Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show

I spent so much time trying to understand why my relationship ended that I barely stopped to think about what it was doing to me.In this episode, I am talking about the obsession with finding answers after a breakup. Replaying conversations, questioning memories, analysing your ex's behaviour and convincing yourself that if you could just understand why they left, you'd finally be able to move on.But what happens when every answer leads to another question? And what if understanding your breakup isn't actually the thing that's going to help you recover?An honest conversation about heartbreak, self-blame, closure and learning to live with questions you might never get answers to.Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show

 There are things I did during my breakup that I would be absolutely mortified to admit now. So naturally, I've decided to discuss them on a podcast. After my 14-year relationship ended, I entered an era of questionable decisions, complete delusion and behaviour that I genuinely thought was perfectly reasonable at the time.In this episode, I'm confessing some of my most embarrassing breakup moments, from the things I convinced myself of to the things my poor friends had to endure, alongside five truly unhinged breakup confessions from other people.A slightly different episode of Coming Up For Air, because sometimes healing means being able to look back and think... darling, what on EARTH were you doing? ❤️ Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show

Sometimes the hardest part of a breakup isn't just what happened between the two of you. It's dealing with everybody else's version of what happened afterwards.The unwanted updates about your ex. Friends telling you what you should do. People comparing how you're both getting on. The gossip, the opinions and that horrible feeling that because you were the one who openly struggled, everybody assumes you're the one who's doing worse.I know this feeling particularly well.I was incredibly open about how much the end of my fourteen-year relationship broke me, and in this episode, I want to talk about something I've learnt since: being honest about your heartbreak doesn't mean you owe everybody an explanation of how you're recovering from it.I talk about how to handle hearing things about your ex without reacting, why other people's advice isn't always right for you, how to stop participating in comparisons you never agreed to, and why you don't need to prove you're happy just because people witnessed you being devastated.A conversation about protecting your own experience of a breakup from becoming everybody else's business.Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guideSupport the show

 Sometimes the relationship ends, but the consequences of being in it don't.The job opportunities you turned down, the money you invested, the places you never moved to and the decisions you made because you thought you were building a future with somebody.In this episode, I'm talking about the less discussed consequences of a breakup. The practical, financial and personal sacrifices that can continue affecting your life long after you've stopped wanting the relationship back.We'll explore how to deal with the regret of decisions that made sense at the time, the frustration of having to rebuild things you thought you'd already established and how to stop making choices around a life that no longer exists.Because you can be completely over somebody and still be paying for the decisions you made when you loved them.Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guiSupport the show

You haven’t texted them. You haven’t called them. You might even be months into no contact. But you still know where they went last weekend, who they followed, whether they’re seeing someone new and what their friends are posting.So… are you actually disconnected from them?In this episode, we’re talking about why we research our exes after a breakup, what we’re really hoping to find when we check, and why the hardest part of moving on might not be stopping yourself from looking, it might be learning to live with not knowing.Because eventually, healing means allowing their life to happen somewhere you can’t see it. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guideSupport the show

 What if you never fully get over your ex?Maybe it's been months or years since the breakup. You're doing better, you've rebuilt parts of your life, but you still think about them, still miss them sometimes and wonder whether you'll ever completely move on.In this episode, I'm talking about why we can carry an ex with us long after a relationship ends, the fear of never loving someone the same way again and whether getting over someone really has to mean forgetting them.Because maybe moving on after heartbreak isn't making someone who once meant everything mean nothing. Maybe it's being able to remember them without needing to go backwards. 🤍  Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforairSupport the show

 Will my ex come back? It’s one of the hardest questions to stop asking after a breakup especially when you were the one who was left.But there’s another stage of heartbreak nobody really prepares you for: the moment you realise they might actually never come back.In this episode I talk about why losing hope can feel like a second breakup, why you can still want your ex to come back even when you know the relationship wasn’t right, and what happens when 'they haven’t come back yet' slowly becomes 'maybe this really is over.'We’ll get into waiting for an ex to change their mind, struggling to let go, dealing with rejection, wondering whether they regret leaving, and how to move forward without forcing yourself to believe you’ll never hear from them again.Because healing after a breakup isn’t about knowing for certain that your ex will never come back. It’s reaching the point where your life no longer depends on finding out whether they will. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforairSupport the show

You've stopped speaking to them, so why are you still having entire conversations with them in your head?In this episode, I talk about why we mentally talk to an ex after a breakup, replay conversations, imagine telling them things and wonder what they'd think of the life we're building without them.We get into wanting recognition rather than reconciliation, missing being witnessed by someone who knew your whole life, and what these imaginary conversations might actually be doing for you.If you're struggling to stop thinking about your ex and wondering whether you'll ever fully move on, this one's for you. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforairSupport the show

If you’re single and scared you’ll never find love, I want you to imagine something: your future relationship is already secured.You don’t know who they are. You don’t know when you’ll meet. You just know you cannot miss them.How would you live differently if you weren’t constantly wondering when love was going to happen?In this episode, I am talking about being single in your 30s, dating anxiety, the fear of being alone, finding love later in life and the experiences we sometimes postpone until we have a partner.Then I’m changing the hypothetical completely: what if I told you that you wouldn’t meet them for another five years?Because this isn’t really an episode about how to find a relationship. It’s about what you might do with your life if you stopped requiring certainty about your romantic future before allowing yourself to fully live your present.Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.louJoin Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show