Bad Princess Movies

Happy Halloween ya'll! We once again find ourselves facing the problem of a lack of Princess movies suitable for the October spooky month. So we're stretching the definition of "Spooky" a little bit to justify taking a look at two episodes from The Storyteller series. Because what's spookier than old Fairytales where you may or may not be bewitched by a troll, or required to marry a bag-pipe playing Hedgehog man? Join us as we discuss (among other things) the speech patterns of the everyday troll, hedgehog babies that look suspiciously like Baby Grinch, and of course, the impeccable artistry of Jim Henson and his team.

This month is a most auspicious occasion, as we are finally completing our non-linear journey through the Swan Princess series with a look at Swan Princess III! The last film to be animated traditionally, Swan Princess III marks the point where the series took a 14 year slumber before re-emerging as a fiery CGI rendered Swan-Phoenix in the 2010s. Is the film that bad to have put the series to sleep for that long? Well... We did end up spending probably half this episode NOT talking about the movie, so therein may lie your answer. Join us as we discuss (Among other things) yet another magic user trying to take over the world, Lord Rogers' doo-wop stylings... and for some reason, our beefs with both Generative AI and Prince Sidon of the Zora's (It'll make a bit more sense in context... barely). 

It's July, and in recent years that means it's time to throw out the entire premise of the podcast in favour of taking a look at one of Kristi's hyperfixations. In honour of it's 40th anniversary (And Kristi's birthday!), we're taking a look at Jim Henson's Labyrinth! But we're not just talking about Labyrinth, we're also dipping our toes into the Labyrinth expanded universe... Labyrinth's sequel, prequel, and novelization among other things (AKA, Kristi went on a lotta tangents in this one, and Bri was nice enough to come along for the ride). Join us as we discuss (among other things) larping in the park, the dangers of glitter lung, and the logistics of fitting a 15 foot mecha into your 8 foot ceiling bedroom.

It's Pride Month and what better way to celebrate than with some Moon Tiara Magic? We're capping off June with a return to the Sailor Moon franchise, with a look at Sailor Moon R (Specifically, the DiC dub of the movie, because you can take the kid out of the 90s, but you can't take the 90s out of the kid). Join us as we discuss our 90s nostalgia, tragic villains and how they deserved much better, and how crappy it would be to actually be a Sailor Scout (and much, much more nonsense that's hard to summarize, you'll just have to tune in to find out).

Happy Mermay everyone!.. or rather, we hope everyone had a good Mermay, because I goofed the recording schedule and this episode is going up in June. But we're not letting my inability to read a calendar get in the way of us taking at look at Golden Films' The Little Mermaid. Sure, it's not as well animated as Disney's version, and it's story is not as well plotted, and it's characters aren't as interesting, but... well it's certainly shorter than the Disney version, so that's something, right? Come join us as we discuss (among other things) sea witches who are just in it for the love of the grift, a dolphin confused about his own biology, and for some reason Oscar-nominated actor Graham Greene.

As is tradition on our podcast, we're taking a look at a movie starring a Prince for April! And this years movie is "Prince Charming", a take on the classic Frog Prince story that dares to ask the question "What if Martin Short got turned into a CGI Frog?". Join us as we discuss (Among other things) Medieval frat boys, how boinking in a bell tower can lead to a beheading, and my surprising inability to correctly pronounce the name "Hamish".

We're celebrating Bri's birthday by taking a look at a movie of her choosing, and this year she's decided we're watching the 80s fantasy film Willow! Willow is a delightful little movie that doesn't seem to get discussed as often as other films of it's time, so let's change that, shall we? Join us as we discuss (among other things) why the first man you see may not be the best babysitter, surprisingly effective love confessions, and french canadian fae creatures who are extremely proud of their ability to snatch an infant. 

This month we're returning to the Barbie-verse for some wintery magical adventures, in Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus. Although this is one of the "classic" Barbie movies it doesn't seem nearly as beloved as say, Princess and the Pauper, but there are some interesting things about this film that make it fun to gab about. So come and join us as we discuss such topics like being your own Original Character, human-eyed polar bear toddlers and the hate they inspire within us, and why you don't bring a baby to the Cave of Wonders. 

We're celebrating our 100th episode with a look at Disney's Wish, a movie made to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the studio. But instead of showcasing why Disney's managed to stick around for 100 years, Wish instead ended up as a somewhat unmemorable entrant in the Disney vault. Join us as we discuss (among other things) half-formed villains with confusing motivations, complicated wish bequeathing systems, and why maybe you're better off letting a dream die.  Thank you everyone for listening along, and for celebrating this milestone with us!

We're kicking off 2026 with our traditional retrospective episode where we look back on what movies we covered on the podcast in the last year. This is our opportunity to chat about things we forgot to mention in the previous episodes... except we've forgotten what we forgot, so we mostly talk about whatever nonsense comes to mind instead (Like my current fixation on the original Jurassic Park film).  Look forward to our first real episode of the new season (which is also our 100th episode) coming soon!