90-Minute School Day

How long does it actually take a child to learn to read when they aren't learning to read at school? Reading is one of the areas where homeschool parents can carry the most worry, especially when a child's timeline looks different from what we see in school. Earlier this year, families inside the Day in the Life community completed a survey about their children's reading journeys. We wanted to know what happened between the earliest signs of becoming a reader and independent reading: how long it took, what support children received, how often they practiced, who led the process, and what parents noticed along the way. In this episode of the 90-Minute School Day Podcast, DITL member Elizabeth Schroder joins us to share and discuss the results of our community survey on how children learn to read outside of school. Elizabeth brings a particularly interesting perspective to the conversation. She has a background in elementary and early childhood education, has worked with children both individually and in classrooms, and watched her own daughter learn to read English entirely outside of school while learning Japanese literacy through traditional schooling. Together, we unpack the survey results and talk about: The three stages of learning to read Why reading develops on a spectrum rather than a single timeline How long children in the survey spent as emerging readers What reading support looked like in real homes Who initiated reading practice Why learning to read outside of school can look so different The worries parents often carry when reading takes longer than expected This conversation is part 2 of 4 of our Rethinking School and Learning series and connects with Heidi Steel's chapter "How Children Learn to Read in the Real World" from School Isn't for Everyone. If your child's reading journey doesn't look like the one you expected, this conversation offers a chance to step back, look at the whole process, and consider what might actually be happening. Learn more and find resources: DITL is an online community for parents supporting one another as they raise neurodivergent children outside of school. Doors open three times a year, in late October, late March, and late July. Join the invite list at 90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/ 90-Minute School Day private coaching is currently available if you need support now. 57 – I’m Not Reading, But Everyone Else IS with Carrie De Francisco 53 – What If School Creates DYSlexia? with Je’anna Clements 52 – Becoming Brave Writers with Julie Bogart 36 – Reimagine Reading: It’s Not A Race See Jo Isaac's 2018 Survey on Reading Age In Unschooled Kids Jo's 2016 survey published on Sandra Dodd's website Heidi’s book, School Isn’t For Everyone

What if your child’s struggle with school isn’t a sign that you need to find a better way to make school work? What if you leave school altogether for Neuro-Affirming Unschooling? In this episode, I’m joined by Heidi Steel, author of School Isn’t for Everyone (And What You Can Do Instead), for a conversation about neuro-affirming home education, unschooling, school refusal, burnout, trust, reading, screens, teenagers, and learning outside of school. Heidi was a primary school teacher before becoming an unschooling parent. She has unschooled her four children for more than a decade and brings both professional experience and lived experience of neurodivergence to this conversation. This episode is especially relevant if your family is navigating school refusal, school anxiety, burnout, behavioral reports, a child who is struggling to attend school, or the uncertainty of wondering whether homeschooling or unschooling could be a better fit. We talk about: what happens when trust has been damaged by school experiences how children learn when reading is separated from school the role of screens and digital play what teenagers need from the adults around them why relationship matters so much in learning Heidi’s book was our DITL community summer book study, and this conversation grew out of nine weeks of parents reading, questioning, discussing, and applying these ideas to their own families. Connect with Heidi Steel: Live Play Learn: https://liveplaylearn.org/ (Horizon Mentoring) Book: School Isn’t for Everyone Podcast: Unschooling Conversations Instagram: @liveplaylearn1 Facebook: Live Play Learn  Connect with 90-Minute School Day: DITL is an online community for parents supporting one another as they raise neurodivergent children outside of school. Doors open three times a year, in late October, late March, and late July. Join the waitlist at 90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/ Private coaching is currently available if you need support now. Upcoming Episode: Inspired by Heidi’s statement, “You have learned to worry about your child’s reading because of school,” We're sharing what DITL members told us about how their children actually learned to read outside of school. You don't want to miss it!

When your child's burnout becomes your burnout, how do you care for yourself when there isn't time (or space) to "practice self-care"? When you feel trapped?   In this final episode of our three-part series on capacity, we sit down with Day in the Life member Katy Jo Murdock to explore what happens when parenting a neurodivergent child stretches your own nervous system to its limits. Together we talk about the tiny moments that help us stay connected to ourselves when life doesn't leave much room for us. Katy Jo shares her family's journey from checklist homeschooling to trusting her child, about “microdosing” regulation in the middle of intensive caregiving, burnout recovery, unschooling, shutdowns, externalized behaviors, and long days at home. Whether you're supporting a child through autistic burnout, school refusal, demand avoidance (PDA), anxiety, or another season of overwhelm, this conversation offers genuine encouragement and practical, tactical ways to rebuild capacity one small moment at a time. In this episode you'll hear: Katy Jo's five-part framework for finding your microdose agent Why capacity changes from day to day—and even hour to hour What happens when your child's burnout affects your own nervous system The connection between joy and regulation How to finish a stress response in everyday life The difference between expectations rooted in fear versus reality Why educating ourselves is part of trusting ourselves How every member of the family can discover their own "microdoses" of regulation This is Part 3 of our Capacity Series: Part 1 - Not Everything Is a Discipline Problem with Sunita Kapahi Theiss Part 2 - Mothering Ourselves in the Homeschool Years with Missy Willis Part 3 - Microdosing Our Regulation with Katy Murdock Resources Mentioned Connect with Katy Jo Murdock Katy Jo's Instagram Day in the Life Community 90-Minute School Day Training If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another parent who could use the reminder that they're not alone.

What happens when you've been needed for so long that you've lost touch with yourself? After years of caregiving, homeschooling, co-regulation, appointments, accommodations, and carrying the invisible labor of family life, many parents find themselves running on empty. Resentful. Exhausted. Overstimulated. Disconnected from their own needs, interests, and identity. In this episode, unschooling mom, educator, and writer Missy Willis joins me for a conversation about mothering ourselves in the homeschooling years. We explore why so many parents disappear inside caregiving, where the need to control often comes from, how grief shows up in home education, and what it looks like to reconnect with ourselves when we can't remember what lights us up anymore. This is Part 2 of our 3-part series on capacity. In this episode, we discuss: • Why parents lose touch with themselves in caregiving • The difference between self-care and mothering ourselves • Grief, identity, and capacity in homeschooling • "Pre-planning your breakdown" and what it reveals • The connection between control, safety, and overwhelm • Reconnecting with your needs, interests, and inner life • Creating a family culture where everyone's needs matter This is Part 2 of our Capacity Series: Part 1 - Not Everything Is a Discipline Problem with Sunita Kapahi Theiss Part 2 - Mothering Ourselves in the Homeschool Years with Missy Willis Part 3 - Microdosing Our Regulation with Katy Murdock   CONNECT WITH MISSY: Website  Unschooled: A Guide to Living and Learning without School Educating the Uniquely Wired Child Workbook Instagram Substack CONNECT WITH KELLY: Learn more about 90-Minute School Day Training Learn more about Day in the Life (DITL) Community

What if the behaviors we’ve been taught to correct are actually signs of overwhelm, sensory overload, burnout, or nervous system distress? In this episode, we’re joined by Sunita Kapahi Theiss. Sunita is a writer, low-demand coach, unschooling parent, and neurodivergent advocate. She joins us for a deeply honest conversation about what’s really happening underneath behavior in neurodivergent children and adults. We talk about PDA, autistic burnout, executive dysfunction, nervous system safety, low-demand parenting, and the profound shift that happens when we stop asking: “How do I stop this behavior?” and begin asking: “What’s actually going on underneath?” This conversation is especially for parents who feel exhausted, confused, isolated, or stuck in cycles of escalation with their children. It’s also for the adults who are beginning to recognize themselves in these conversations too. Inside this episode: Why not everything is a discipline problem What sensory overload, shutdown, and executive dysfunction can actually look like in daily life The difference between support and permissiveness PDA, burnout, and reducing demands What “building capacity over time” really means How overwhelm in adults is often misunderstood too Why nervous system safety changes everything Shifting from compliance and control toward connection and trust Whether you’re brand new to neurodivergent parenting or deep in the trenches of burnout and unschooling, this episode offers language, validation, and practical reframes for families whose children don’t fit traditional molds. This is Part 1 of our Capacity Series: Part 1 - Not Everything Is a Discipline Problem with Sunita Kapahi Theiss Part 2 - Mothering Ourselves in the Homeschool Years with Missy Willis Part 3 - Microdosing Our Regulation with Katy Murdock CONNECT + RESOURCES Sunita Kapahi Theiss: Website Low Demand Coaching Instagram Writing Workshops   90-Minute School Day™ Private Coaching 90-Minute School Day Training DITL Community FREE Learning Translator

What if your child's resistance to math has nothing to do with math?   In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Sarah Eason, Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Science at Purdue University, whose research on family math engagement and math anxiety reframes everything we think we know about why kids shut down around numbers.   This episode is for the parent who dreads math time, who carries their own wounds around numbers, and whose kid has decided math is not for them. What Sarah's research reveals is both surprising and deeply relieving.   We talk about: How math anxiety travels from parent to child without a single word being spoken What actually counts as math learning that most families are already doing Why formal instruction may not be doing the heavy lifting we think it is What predicts long-term math success (it's not worksheets) How parent beliefs and emotions shape a child's math identity from a very young age What to do if you feel like you've already gotten it wrong   Sarah's closing invitation: "Let go of what you think math should look like and reclaim it for you and your family."   LINKS + RESOURCES Sarah Eason https://hhs.purdue.edu/directory/sarah-eason/   WORK WITH 90-MINUTE SCHOOL DAY Training https://90minuteschoolday.com/guide-training/   Day in the Life Community https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/   Free Learning Translator https://90minuteschoolday.com/am-i-doing-enough/

What if the years your child and teen spent playing, exploring, and following curiosity weren't wasted time — but exactly the preparation they needed? Come sit down with Judy Arnall, internationally recognized child-development specialist, bestselling author of Unschooling to University, and mother of five self-directed learners. We talk about what children genuinely need to thrive, why chronic stress is shutting down learning in our kids, and how unschooling can be a legitimate, research-backed path all the way to post-secondary education. You'll learn: What children and teens actually need for healthy development and how that foundation prepares them for adult life The central problem with modern education What self-directed learning looks like in a real, everyday family  The "three intentional years" concept: why university prep doesn't require 12 years of schooling The neuroscience of chronic stress and educational burnout and how play and felt safety reopen the capacity to learn What the research actually says about screens, gaming, and digital communities How to tell if your urge to "do something" is coming from genuine facilitation (or parent anxiety) Practical pathways into university and post-secondary for students without a traditional transcript Real hope for families of neurodivergent children recovering from burnout Whether you're just starting to explore unschooling, deep in the deschooling process, or parenting a teenager who is done with traditional school ... this conversation will meet you right where you are. Resources & Links: Judy Arnall's book: Unschooling to University  Connect with Judy via her website Read Judy's non-punitive parenting blog Join the 90-Minute School Day DITL Community invite list  If this episode resonated with you, share it with a family who needs to hear it. And if you haven't yet ... please leave a review. It helps more families find this show. 

What happens when school is not a match for a learner? For many disabled and neurodivergent children and teens, traditional school environments create anxiety, shutdown, and loss of self-trust. In this conversation, we sit down with Dr. Gina Riley, educational psychologist, Associate Professor of Special Education at Hunter College - School of Education (CUNY), researcher, and unschooling parent to unpack the first peer-reviewed study on unschooling students with disabilities. We explore why families of autistic, ADHD, learning disabled, and neurodivergent children are moving away from traditional school and toward self-directed education This episode covers: Why families leave school (and it’s rarely ideology) Unschooling as a healing environment Intrinsic motivation and self-determination Nervous system safety and learning How unschooling functions as built-in accommodation Caregiver fatigue and lack of respite The need for unschooling-informed doctors, therapists, and educators Why research matters for advocacy and legitimacy Dr. Riley brings both academic research and lived experience as an unschooling parent to this conversation, offering insight for: ✔ Parents of disabled and neurodivergent children ✔ Pediatricians, therapists, psychologists, occupational therapists ✔ Educators and special education professionals ✔ Anyone rethinking what meaningful learning can look like   Unschooling is not the absence of education.   For some learners, it may be the least restrictive and most developmentally appropriate environment available.   Resources Mentioned Dr. Riley’s study: Unschooling Students with Disabilities Learn more about Dr. Riley Join Day in the Life Community Learn more about the 90-Minute School Day   Share This Episode If this conversation gave you language you’ve been needing: Send it to the friend who needs to hear this. Send it to your co-parent. Send it to a concerned family member. Send it to your child’s care team. Send it to an educator who wants to understand.   Research and advocacy matter. And conversations like this move us toward educational models that respect both learning and humanity.

How many friends does your child actually need? We’ve normalized early peer immersion. We worry about socialization. We measure childhood against birthday party invites and best-friend status.   But what if we’ve absorbed a story that deserves to be questioned?   In this conversation, I sit down with Missy Willis of Let ‘Em Go Barefoot to unpack: Peer orientation Attachment theory Mixed-age play vs. peer culture Playmates vs. real friendship And the question underneath the question: what do children actually need to thrive?   Influenced by the work of Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté, and Peter Gray, this is a paradigm-shifting look at friendship that challenges cultural norms around socialization.   If you’ve ever felt that quiet pressure, “Is my child social enough?” this episode will help you slow down and look again.   Connect + Resources Missy Willis: https://letemgobarefoot.com/   Peer orientation + attachment: Hold On to Your Kids book by Neufeld and Maté Should We Rethink the Idea of Friendships for Our Kids? By Missy Willis   Mixed Age Play: The Special Value of Mixed-Age Play by Peter Gray   Laughter + connection blog: Laughter Sparks Learning in Homeschool by Kelly Edwards   Join the Day in the Life community: https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/

“I’m not reading, but everyone else is.” If you’ve ever heard your child say this (or felt it echo quietly in your own head) this conversation is for you. In this episode, I’m joined by Carrie DeFrancisco for a live conversation inside Day in the Life (DITL) community. Carrie is a longtime homeschool parent, former classroom teacher, homeschool coach, and podcaster. And she’s also an accidental homeschooler and the mother of a neurodivergent, dyslexic learner. Together, we talk about what really helps when a child’s reading timeline looks different. Not from a place of fixing or rushing. Not from a school-based lens. And not by pathologizing kids who learn differently. Instead, we explore: what’s actually happening when a child notices they’re “behind” how to respond without layering adult fear onto a tender moment what supports dyslexic and late-reading kids over time (and what creates more friction) how true learning develops through story, meaning, relationship, and interest what success can look like when decoding comes later, including into the teen years This conversation is about reading, yes … but it’s also about trust, identity, and what happens when we let development unfold without a stopwatch. If you have a dyslexic learner, listen closely. If you don’t, still listen … because every child has a place where their timeline looks different. This is a conversation for parents who are done chasing benchmarks and ready to notice what’s already growing. Resources + Links Connect with Carrie DeFrancisco and explore her work here Listen to Carrie’s podcast featuring her son Joe Learn more about Day in the Life (DITL) and be notified when doors open again Explore coaching with Kelly 1:1 if you want support meeting your neurodivergent child where they are and navigating self-directed education with confidence