Your Secret Is Safe With Me

When an affair relationship is ending, it can be incredibly easy to believe that you'll never find anyone else who makes you feel the way this particular person does. You may know intellectually that there are other people in the world, but that doesn't necessarily make the possibility of loving someone else feel real.   In this episode, I talk about why the love you've experienced with your affair partner can actually be evidence that you are capable of creating that kind of connection again. I also talk about the importance of allowing yourself to grieve the loss of a relationship, holding your desire for future love lightly, and paying attention to your capacity for love, sex, intimacy, and connection rather than worrying about how long it will take to find someone new.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/246   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What if telling the truth could make your life easier, even if you aren't sure you're going to like what happens next?   In this episode, I talk about why telling the truth can sometimes be extremely beneficial, even though I also believe that you have the prerogative to lie, omit information, or keep certain truths to yourself. I explore how telling the truth can simplify your life, help you act in alignment with your priorities, and give everyone involved the opportunity to deal with reality as it is. I also discuss what can happen when you tell your spouse that your affair is over when you know that isn't actually true.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/245   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What is the C-word? In my work, there's one C-word that carries a lot of weight: closure.   In this episode, I talk about what closure actually means, why we can end up making our sense of peace dependent on things we cannot control, and how our own thinking shapes whether or not we experience a sense of resolution. I also talk about the possibility that sometimes the best thing you can do is learn how to live without the answers you want.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/244   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

If you're spending hours texting your affair partner every day, but you know it's making your life harder, why are you still doing it?   It's completely reasonable to enjoy texting with your affair partner. It can be exciting, entertaining, and a reliable source of pleasure. But if texting is taking over your time, interfering with your sleep or productivity, creating endless drama, or becoming the primary way you experience your relationship, it may be time to put some limits on it.   In this episode, I talk about why setting limits on texting with your affair partner can make your life better and potentially improve your relationship with your affair partner.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/243   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What if the people in your life are a lot more interesting than you've been giving them credit for?   I'm doing something a little different this week: I'm giving you a quiz about me, with some very fun prizes for the people who get the answers right. But this isn't just an excuse to test your knowledge of my favorite things.   In this episode, I talk about why I created the quiz, and how curiosity can change the way we experience the people we love.    Tune in to play along with the quiz, learn how to enter for a chance to win some fun prizes, and consider how cultivating your curiosity might make your relationships more interesting, engaging, and satisfying.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/242   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

If you don't want to experience another holiday season the way you experienced the last one, what are you actually going to do differently?   The holidays can be a particularly stark reminder of what we do and don't like about our infidelity situations, especially when we've spent multiple years hoping that something will change.   In this episode, I want you to stop asking what you hope will be different this year and start asking what you have the power to make different. I talk about how to get specific about what you want from the upcoming holiday season, distinguish between changing your situation and changing how you relate to your situation, and recognize when your hopes depend on another person doing something you cannot control.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/241   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What if an infidelity situation didn't have to mean the end of your life as you know it?   In this episode, I'm talking with Jane, a woman in her late 60s who found herself having an affair after more than 40 years of marriage. She never imagined herself as someone who would have an affair, and yet reconnecting with someone from her past brought excitement, intimacy, and a sense of being fully seen that she had been missing.   Jane shares what happened when she decided she could no longer continue living in her marriage, how she navigated the decision to separate, and what happened to her relationship with her husband afterward.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/240   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

So many stories about infidelity focus on the devastation, the shame, and the belief that an affair means your life is ruined forever. But that is not the whole story.   In this episode, I'm sharing another conversation with a podcast listener who has made it through the challenges of her infidelity situation and is thriving on the other side of it.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/239   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

Most stories about infidelity end with heartbreak, regret, or destruction. But what if that isn't the whole story?   In this episode, I'm joined by Scarlett, a longtime listener who generously shares the story of her affair, the end of her marriage, the painful aftermath of losing her affair partner, and the unexpected life she built on the other side of it all.   Join us as we discuss clarity, courage, boundaries, closure, new love, and why even deeply difficult experiences can become catalysts for creating a life that feels more authentic than the one you left behind. If you've ever wondered whether life after an affair can be not just okay but genuinely fulfilling, this conversation offers a perspective you may not hear anywhere else.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/238   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

Have you ever made a change you knew was right for you, only to wonder why it felt so unsettling?   If you've found yourself grieving a life you chose to leave, questioning your identity after making a major decision, or feeling strangely untethered even though you're confident in your choice, this episode is for you.   In this episode, I explore why change can feel so profoundly strange, even when it leads us exactly where we want or need to go.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/237   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one