UNspoiled! The Dark Tower

First, check out our sponsor for this episode, the TRAPP Society's upcoming special project set in the world of the Dark Tower. It takes place between books six and seven, and aims to correct some of King's more egregious indulgences. The characters include a survivor of Jericho Hill, the High Wizard of Brooklyn, a shapeshifting badass from Dungeons and Dragons, and so much more. The show isn't available just yet, but head to the Shattered Worlds RPG podcast feed to hear the first hour of your newest podcast obsession. shatteredworlds.libsyn.comI can't believe how long we've been doing this series, but damn this feels like it's been going on all my adult life. And now it's over, and I'm left with so many questions and so many moments that I want to know more about or still don't completely understand, as I'm sure many of you also felt when the series ended. Miles and I spend this last episode answering questions submitted on Facebook, Twitter, and email from all of you, asking us everything from how we'd rank the books in order of favorite to least, who we would have killed off and why, which characters we want to know more about or see in the story more, and all kinds of other things. We had a really good time chatting about the series as a whole, and we discuss the fact that Miles came into the recordings unsullied with knowledge of how it all ends. Thank you all so much for listening, for leaving reviews, for submitting questions, and we wish you all long days and pleasant nights. Toodaloo, mothafuckas. Artwork Credit: https://www.deviantart.com/25kartinok/art/Susanna-704021520

Listeners, this is it! It's time for the very last chapter of coverage of The Dark Tower series, which will be followed up by one more episode of discussion before we wrap on this podcast feed altogether. It's truly the end of an era. The ending to this book was rather surprising, because I expected the Skin Man to be someone we had already met and instead it's someone that doesn't really mean anything to us. Of course, when he transforms in front of them we get to see King's writing shine, because man does he write horror well. So I think I will forgive him. The thing that I'm feeling the most ambivalent about it the whole thing with Roland's mother. I would be interested to hear what you folks think about my and Miles's theories, and whom you agree with. I didn't think about it the way Miles did at all, but for all I know, he may be right. Thank you all so much for sticking with us as we made our way down this twisting road, and we will see you next week with the final episode.

Hi there you beauties! Miles and I are here with the second-to-last episode of Wind Through The Keyhole, and I'm delighted to inform you that, despite some quibbles about the fact that the Red King has a cameo in this story, I really liked it. Tim Ross carries on past the small community of swamp people, sure that he will be returning this way and that he can repay the kindness they've shown him. They know differently because they're aware the Starkblast is coming, so it's actually kind of heart wrenching to watch him say goodbye. And on top of that, we find out later that the dragon also died, which just seems unfair. The Starkblast is a bastard.Once Tim reaches his destination he has to screw up his courage again to face down an enormous tiger, which it turns out later is totally harmless, and they snuggle down to wait out the storm under the protection of a magical bedsheet, which later carries Tim home again with his bottle of potion to cure his mother. The story does have a rather brutal ending, because Big Kells has come wandering back and cut the Widow Smack's throat while she was sleeping by the fire, but Tim's restored mother sinks her late husband's axe into Kells' head, and we all lived happily ever after. It's overall a pretty satisfying story, but like I said, the mentions of the Red King being trapped on a balcony of the Tower, and of Aslan being in charge of one of the Beams, were really distracting. Whaddayagonnado. They didn't ruin it, just made me stop and say, "Wait, what?" Thanks so much for listening! See you next week!

I love titling these fucking episodes. What an unholy disaster. So this episode was intended to cover the entire 'Wind Through The Keyhole' section, but it turns out that's way too much reading for one day, and also this episode is over an hour so it seems like Miles and I were not suffering for things to talk about even with just half the story. So I figure y'all can just forgive us. I'm always on board with weird fairytales and folk-tales, so this was right in my wheelhouse. Villages that need to worry about dragons? Yes please. Villages that THINK they need to worry about dragons because someone is a con artist, but then it turns out there is actually a dragon out there? EVEN YESSER PLEASE. I really hope you enjoy this episode, and we will see you soon with the second half of the story!

Hey there, constant readers! Miles and I continue our journey through the final novel of the series, and I find that nothing is what I expected. I mean, who knew we'd basically be fighting werewolves this time?The whole deal in this section was very out of left field, but I actually really enjoyed it. I'm very on-board with seeing some of the set-up in Roland's life for the man that we came to know in the main series, and I'm really excited that there's a mystery afoot. That's not to say that there aren't some bizarre and distracting King-isms in this section because trust me, there are. But I'm more willing to tolerate them because we've got (to an extent) a clean slate in this part of the story. So who is the Skin Man? My money is on Everlynn. That's all I'm sayin. Thanks so much for listening, and I will see you soon with the section titled Wind Through The Keyhole!

Hey listeners! Miles and I are getting into the final book (at least so far) in the series, which is apparently going to contain some peripheral information and stories from Roland's youth. What we get first, however, is the setup for what gives our crew the leisure to sit around and tell stories. We go back in time, to before they even reached the Calla, and meet a ferryman called Bix who can tell from watching Oy that the Starkblast is coming. Roland can't believe that he missed the signs, and there's only just enough time for the four of them to get to the safety of a stone shelter before the thing hits them like a train. There's not much to talk about in this one yet, so it's a slightly shorter episode. Thanks so much to you all for listening!

Well, folks. It's finally here. Miles reads the final chapter aloud to me, on the air. If you're a patron and would rather watch the LiveStream for the full effect, check it out here! https://www.crowdcast.io/patreon/join/-LIE0wOy9HdxZPO11XY4Artist Credit: https://www.deviantart.com/dios-db/art/The-Dark-Tower-170336484

How dare you.

Hey there, listeners. I'm not going to say too much here. There's nothing to be written that I didn't say during the episode. At least, nothing other than, "Fuck this fucking book."

Hi there, listeners! I'm here with the next episode of Dark Tower, and I'm going to have to be honest here; I'm getting tired. It's really a shame, because I was so in love with this bizarre series at first. But we're reaching the end here, and I can't really help but feel some relief. This chapter is another example of a moment where Miles and I come up with an alternative that would have been much more satisfying, would have made more sense, and wouldn't have required yet another idiot savant being added to the story at the very last minute. I wish so much that I could talk to King about why he made the choices he did. I keep saying that, but it keeps being true. It's surprising that Susannah decided to leave, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I guess I'm a little disappointed? I fully expected Roland to get there alone in the end, but when it looked like Susannah was joining him I was pleasantly surprised that my expectations were being undercut a little. Unfortunately, it seems my prediction was correct, and King just didn't give her a satisfying departure. Ah, well. What can you do. I just really wanna know wtf happens next, at this point.