Today's Review of Assorted Cinema

Batten down the hatches and get ready for a Whale of a time in todays film: “The Whale!” Meet Charlie: a morbidly obese recluse in the last week of his life as he attempts to reconnect with his daughter and make amends for the ripples his abandonment of her caused. Its Fun for the whole family! Brendan Fraser gives a performance for the ages. Only an actor of his caliber could convincingly enjoy grape jelly Doritos sandwiches! Can Charlie reconnect with his daughter and make her see the good in people again? And did this movie live up to the hype of the short-lived WCU? Let’s grab some slices of porch pizza and tune in!Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Is that the smell of blood, sweat and air-brushed abs I sense? That must be a sign of todays film: “300!” This purist adaptation of a comic book barely based on reality follows King Leonidas and his 300 gay but also straight Spartan warriors. They must stand as one, and push against the invading King Xerxes and his horde of reject Power Rangers villains. Did you know if you play the slo mo parts at 2 times speed, the movie is only an hour long? Tricked you! I actually made that up. Just like Frank Miller made up this bullshit comic! You think this is madness? THIS. IS. THE TRAC-CAST!!Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Simmer your expectations cause we’re kicking off our new “Lap Around the TRAC” with Ryan’s theme: “Overhyped!” And what better way to start us off than the “Prince of Annoying Film Nerds” himself: It’s Wes Anderson’s “Asteroid City!” Told from the perspective of a fictional play, the story follows recently widowed Auggie SteamDeck, who arrives in the title town with his four children before being quarantined after the sudden arrival of an alien. The story flips back and forth between a cavalcade of quirky Anderson stereotypes and a black-and-white meta commentary on the state of film itself. Was this meteorite misadventure a malady? Or were audiences just not ready for it yet? Let’s figure out why Auggie burned his hand on the Quickie Griddle and serve up a piping hot new episode!Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Bust out those roller skates and your worst neon spandex outfits cause you’re in Xanadu now, motherfucker! Struggling artist and hater of work, Sonny Malone is visited by the Greek muse, Kira, who inspires him to follow his creative dreams by building Xanadu, a coke-fueled fever dream disco club where the theme changes every 3 minutes. Watch as Sonny and Kira fall in love because the plot demands it! Be amazed by how a 67 year old Gene Kelly can carry this film on his little tap dancing feet. Man who cares if this shit makes no sense. Turn up the ELO already and Don’t Walk Away from the MagicTrevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Holy Kevlar Codpieces, Batman! We’re taking it back to 1997 with today’s film: Batman and Robin! This legendary failure from legendary director Joel Shumacher follows our titular heroes against dangerous new foes. The cold-hearted Mr Freeze, (who looks more like a Fury Road reject who got crammed into a cold press juicer), as well as the alluring Poison Ivy, (the only person in this movie who can act.) Oh and Bane is there too… I guess. The dynamic duo must do battle against these foes while managing to find the cure for the mysterious illness that Alfred is pretending to have to get out of this movie. Oh and Batgirl is there too… I guess. Will our heroes prevail and save Gotham? Will Mr Freeze go one minute without making ice puns? Will we max out our Bat Credit Cards? Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

In todays film, M. Night Shyamalan answers the question of are we alone in the universe by way of crop circles, dusty water, and weird Army recruiters in “Signs!” Retired priest Graham Hess grapples with his faith and patience as visitors from the stars play annoying pranks on him and his family like flattening his corn and running around on his roof in the middle of the night. This alien invasion flick does the unthinkable and instead of highlighting the aliens, focuses on a mopey Mel Gibson and his weird family who must rely on faith in one another and a growing collection of water glasses to survive. Was “Signs” a hit? Or was it a swing and a miss like Merrill Hess’ baseball career?Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a Captain! It’s a Plane! Its… A 12 million dollar loss… It’s Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow! When the nefarious Dr. Totenkopf plans to steal the worlds greatest minds to perfect his own dream of the titular utopia, it’s up to the Sky Captain and his plucky reporter love interest Polly Pocket Pepper Potts Perkins to stop his dastardly plans. Be amazed at a cast of actors who have no idea where they are with on-screen chemistry that makes the leads in Meltdown look like Romeo and Juliet. Will our dieselpunk pilot save the day? Which lovely lady will he choose? The constantly falling over Polly or Angelina Jolie’s 14 minutes of screentime? Will we find out why they had a tiny elephant in a jar? Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Shock! Horror! Monsters! And that's just the description of some of the cast of Tim Burton’s 1994 biopic, Ed Wood! Johnny Depp stars as the titular director, an idealistic yet talentless man with dreams of making the biggest film in Hollywood. Marvel at the band of misfits he befriends to help achieve his dream, including legendary actor Bela Lugosi, played here by Martin Landau. Laugh along to Ed’s nonsensical directing style and discover why this madman with a heart of gold became dubbed the Worst Director of All Time. What’s that? Worst Podcast you ever heard? Well our next one will be better!Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

From director Shaka King comes the real-life story of Fred Hampton, deputy chairman of the Black Panther Party in 1960’s Illinois. It’s “Judas and the Black Messiah.” Hampton’s attempt to cross racial lines to unite various groups together hits a variety of roadblocks when the FBI sends in low-level criminal Bill O’Neal to take down the organization from within. Daniel Kaluuya, Lakeith Stanfield, and the whole cast shine in this spotlight on a lesser-known chapter in the civil rights movement.Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast

Buy me some peanuts, Crackerjacks, and some cheap ball players, cause today we’re talking “Moneyball!” Brad Pitt stars as Billy Beane, General Manager for the Oakland A’s, the richest, poorest baseball team around. To fight back against the tyranny of the Evil New York Yankees and their mountains of cash, Beane enlists the help of a fake character, Peter Brand, to min-max their way to victory by purchasing dollar bin ball players who throw a little funny or are old. A method so legendary, it didn't even work! I mean… it kinda did? Maybe?Trevor Gregory: Host, ProducerRyan Wagner: Host, EditorAref Aboud: Host, ProducerChristian Starck: Host, WriterSocials:Gmail: [email protected]: @TRAC_CastInstagram: @trac_castLetterboxd: TheTRACcast