The ZDoggMD Show

True lies such as self-help is hopeless, "selfless leadership" is anything but, and spiritual bypass IS THE WHOLE POINT 🔥 The innocent, impersonal simplicity of THIS. Kat Van Oudheusden's books, free Zoom meetings, and more here. Why Kat’s personal story and “how I woke up” don’t make sense anymore, and the relief when story stops mattering Why seekers cling to the story of what Kat did, and what it’s like being a female voice in the male-dominated radical non-duality space The two extremes: “no one here, nothing to do” versus “we’re all love and a higher version of me,” and why they meet in a circle How self-inquiry can use the selfing mechanism to short-circuit itself Natural inquiry versus “artificial” inquiry from YouTube teachers, and life disillusioning beliefs one at a time Why everyone sees this in their own sequence, and how the mind turns whatever happened just before into the teaching Kat’s six aspects of no self and the essential inquiries in her book Seeing No Self Testing inquiries with more than 100 people over three years, mostly by WhatsApp Inquiry as a framework without a fixed path, process, or recipe Zubin’s early intellectual understanding, the energetic knot, and the belief that things always work out for the best If there is no doer, does “stop seeking” even make sense, and how radical non-duality and inquiry compare Zubin’s fossil record of contradictory expressions, from stages of enlightenment to “there is nothing to do” “We’re all liars”: no one can speak the truth about non-duality, and 8 billion versions are equally true or untrue Why judging another version of non-duality means you don’t understand it “I am no one” as another form of selfing, and freedom when it’s all seen as impersonal COVID, “alt-middle,” and how all positions were seen as impersonal Irreversible seeing versus the lived experience, which can still be contracted, egoic, and selfing A body that isn’t owned, being 50 and 53, parenting, and playing roles without believing in them The non-dual identity, and the relief when the camera turned off Why all of it is useful nonsense, and how Rupert Spira’s and Tony Parsons’s messages each landed Inquiry as breadcrumbs, direct recognition, and the seeking mechanism going into overdrive Why the spiritual world is full of ego, $10,000 retreats, and the myth of progress in being human Donald Hoffman’s nightly meditation, and Zubin’s spontaneous inquiry into materialism versus consciousness “We’re all end-stage seekers,” and the seahorse analogy for belief in a separate self The pretend game of separation, TED talks, and years working in university systems Why nobody wants what impersonal offers, and the non-duality police versus the personal religion crowd in the comments Morality, the separate soul that needs saving, and “sinners in the hands of an angry God” Zubin’s unworthiness reactor, and being grateful that nothing solved it Never having mystical experiences, and why that makes it doubtless Non-duality as the next lingo, and posting insight on social media AI-generated clips of soundbites, and doing meetings anyway The recursive loop of confusion, and “my thoughts are also just this” The end of hope, and impersonal hope The descriptive versus prescriptive fallacy, and practicing non-attachment Why it’s all innocent, and Kat’s book title joke “Isness” Romantic music, the hero’s journey, and not taking any of it seriously Servant leadership as selfless leadership, and why a self trying to be a servant leader is the worst kind Zubin’s wife as an example of effortless servant leadership Momentary glimpses, and “where did the moment go?” Shadow work and internal family systems, and why digging through the trash only finds more trash Looking where the self is not, rather than into more of it Spiritual bypass: “you have to bypass,” and why accusing others of bypassing is the least spiritual thing to do Kat’s name, growing up in Thailand, and plans for a part two Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Polish the turd of “me” long enough and it still won’t shine. A Thursday Zen rant for anyone who’s done everything "right" and is still seeking that enlightenment fix. From our live YouTube conversation here. Topics: A warning to the seeking energy that wants to polish itself until the self disappears Zubin’s story: the doctor and YouTuber who was miserable no matter what he achieved The core sense of brokenness, unworthiness, and separation behind the seeking The spiritual path as becoming an enlightened self, and the books and teachers that went with it Meditation, self inquiry, and resting as the I am, and why it felt like torture Glimpses and retreat insights as experiences for a “me” The spiritual industrial complex and why YouTube feeds it A slow, torturous disillusionment with every practice and guru A message for seekers: there is no future, no better, and no one Why wanting to lose the me is the me wanting the me gone Shadow work and trauma stories as more of the same story The nuclear reactor of unworthiness, and what happened when it collapsed What changed: spontaneous yes and no, no more people pleasing, and a nicer guy Whether you need spiritual practices (if they show up, they show up) Preferences remain, but nobody is left to own what people think Comment: panic attacks, the second arrow, and life showing up as panic Why it feels impossible to the one who wants it The mirage and the water, and how nothing is rejected Tony Parsons and Jim Newman, and how everyone points differently Disillusionment with teachers, and “I’m not a teacher” Free will, progress, and moving through the universe A Star Trek tangent (Kirk versus Picard) Zoroastrian roots, the Avesta, and why no belief stuck Is “no self” just another belief, and how daily life has changed Is non-duality another form of escapism, and what spiritual bypass looks like Money, wealth, and a message with no conditions Zen at war and why beliefs are useless The word “influencer,” and the loving character underneath the oppositional one Money fears, doubt, and Tim Cliss’s “doubtless uncertainty” Supporting your kids and the fear of ending up on the street Would mega wealth change anything, and billionaires as powerful seekers Studying Zen Buddhism, and why practice is an epiphenomenon Why awakening seems correlated with practice The descriptive versus prescriptive fallacy, and teachers who sell techniques Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I sent a kid off to college and a some sort of crazy adult came back 🫣😂 WARNING: contains spiritual ego collateral damage and one ANGRY cat named The Mitch! From our YouTube Live conversation. Nina (Z-Pupp) is home from Vassar for fall break, and the live is for Nai Nai to see her Why Nina left California for a school where she knew no one Double majoring in music and econ, and why she didn’t go to NYU for the music business Chamber music, her professor, and live-streamed orchestra concerts watched at home on the big TV Mendelssohn, and the screen photo texted to her mid-concert Making friends, her surprise roommate, and the case for a small liberal arts college Poughkeepsie versus New York City, and the train into the city A violin lesson in San Francisco, playing a Sarasate duet, and favorite composers The one dining hall, the bagel place, and the acai bowl shop where strangers pitched Vassar to her on the college visit Winning a concerto competition, and Nina’s opinion of Vivaldi The campus petting zoo and its ferret, chinchilla, and baby kangaroo The Mitch the cat: escape attempts, getting caught, and Nina the cat whisperer Professors’ outfits, music theory capes, and the jean jacket comeback The Cocteau Twins, and whether they count as emo Whether the Mitch is fat or just fluffy, and “you can’t win with women who know everything” What Nina misses most about home (her car), and feeling stuck in Poughkeepsie San Francisco tech bros, cappuccino art, and the vocal fry of Pacific Heights Dining hall slop, the freshman 15 in reverse, and joining a squash class and biking How Stanford benefits help pay for tuition Drop-off night, hotel bourbon, and a musician tip from the chat Professor Navega’s threat to “snap her neck” for being late Affluent classmates, generational wealth, and debutante parties Parties, Halloween weekend, and Zubin’s freshman 15 at Berkeley Nina’s take on the awakening stuff: “we just gotta live in the here and now, even though that doesn’t exist” Zubin agrees that awakening talk is nonsense, and why he keeps talking about it Vermont hippie colleges and the leg hair debate Crying (or laughing) at drop-off, and doom scrolling in the rental Volvo Halloween costumes: a chicken onesie and a Love Island robe with dollar store snakes Is college worth it in the age of AI: connections, Swiffers, and learning to be an adult Side hustles, and “what is a Zubin” showing up in Shorts feeds Donald Hoffman, conscious agents, and the homunculus Whether the kids had an awakening: telling Nina “nothing is real” during COVID and her existential crisis at 10 Spiritual ego, and why a “me” with a new insight wants to inflict it on its kids Watching Nina grow up on the channel, the Big Pharma video, and Dr. House of Cards “Gaffes” and “C’s get degrees” versus “P equals MD” The stumbling block of teaching what you just learned Amenemope, the Bhagavad Gita, and Nina’s plan to take it next semester Using AI, just not for art or music Zubin’s Zoroastrian upbringing and chanting from the Avesta at 11 Zubin’s “it’s all just this” take on oneness and consciousness Arjuna, Krishna, and killing your brother’s army AI flattery, and Zubin’s British lady Claude voice in the car Nina’s cognitive science class, “Chat with Pat,” and why the chatbot folds under pushback Whether Claude is conscious, and who is having the experience Saying please and thank you to AI, and older people finding company in chatbots Waymos, who is liable when AI goes wrong, and the doomer argument Dallas hospitality, a midnight hotel check-in, and an Uber ride into the MAHA conspiracy Chatty Ubers in Poughkeepsie and New York Whether Dallas counts as the South Wrap-up, solfege, and sending Nina back to school (she’ll be back in December) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tobias Ricardo spent 15 years as a Hindu monk and had pretty much every spiritual experience on the menu: kundalini fireworks, blissed-out “I am” states, retreats, the works. The real freedom turned out to be seeing that all of it was happening to and for a “me” who was never actually there. If you’ve had glimpses that never seem to stick, and you keep thinking you just need one more retreat, maybe check this conversation out 😉 Click here for all my usual links, music, videos, podcast, Supporter Tribe and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I sat down with Tim Cliss to talk about how nobody's home, how there's no prize at the end of the "spiritual" search, and how compassion works a lot better once there's no "you" left to get in its way. Also featured: psychedelics, ego death, and the surprisingly good news that hope is doomed 🥳 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got an email this morning with the subject: "I died and you helped. Thanks." 😳 Here's the resulting YouTube LIVE discussion! Topics covered: Reading an email from a longtime viewer describing two years of awakening, contraction, and finally the realization there was never anyone on the journey Why the end of seeking is surprising precisely because it's so ordinary, not some mystical attainment Why "unconditional love" and other spiritual language are imperfect pointers, and what they're actually gesturing at A follow-up phone call with email author, and what it's like when nothing lands or sticks between two people who've been through this Losing the impulse to fix or save other people once agency is seen through Compassion as natural, unforced acceptance of everything, including one's own conditioning The nuclear reactor analogy for how unworthiness gets walled off in childhood, and what happens when it melts down Processing anger and grief, including a viewer whose son is becoming homeless, and why there's no such thing as spiritual bypassing Revisiting the fury felt at the Hiroshima museum and how it naturally resolved Money, financial fear, and how the drive to "keep hustling" has changed Why the VPZD show and other seemingly contradictory activities still arise and make sense How the self attaches itself to actions after the fact to preserve the illusion of free will and agency The self described as a verb ("selfing") rather than a fixed thing Heaven, hell, and why eternity of any single experience, even pleasure, becomes hell Marriage, kids, and whether family changes how someone relates to death Closing reflections on watching a daughter start college, liberal arts education, and the peace out Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The sense of self may die, but these termites eating my house are still VERY much alive 😉 My recent livestream on TikTok. Some of the topics touched on: Beliefs as an endless, dissolving process. The VPZD show as a dance of conditioning between hosts and audience. Fighting for a cause as really fighting for identity. Communicating needs with a partner. Book recommendations for exploring non-duality. A partner's neediness as a mirror for one's own conditioning. Doctor as just another fallen-away identity. Finding meaning in a meaningless existence. Why human consciousness defaults to negativity. Letting go of the belief that you should be positive. Getting contradictory antivax and pro-vax accusations back to back. Substituting one identity paradigm for another. Reflecting on the 30s, 40s, and 50s as different flavors of seeking. Flu shot risk tolerance and personal choice. The shingles vaccine decision. Nothing is happening, yet the characters keep playing their story out. Political yard signs causing friction with a spouse. Sitting with the shock of losing a friend badly. What is the point of any of this. Termites, relative and ultimate reality. Letting go of tribal fighting. The Macklemore and Ed Sheeran controversy revisited. Viewers sharing Macklemore songs and other political art. Richard Wagner as beauty coexisting with bigotry. Working with insects as a way to understand fear. Closing thoughts on why this TikTok live feels accepting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A live YouTube conversation about dropping our oldest child off for college, ending with an overpriced bottle of hotel Jim Beam drunk out of plastic cups by a Homewood Suites firepit. Yeah, enlightenment ain't what the gurus have been selling us 😭😅 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Back from Japan to talk about being "alone together," why the "loneliness epidemic" is something engineered by the "me", and how bliss, grief, Fauci, and a three-dollar vintage shirt all fit into the same perfect unfolding. Video show archive, audio podcasts, music parodies, Supporter Tribe membership options, merch, social media, and email contact form: ⁠https://lnk.bio/zdoggmd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A live Q+A wandering through our Sunday zoom meeting with the awakening group, to Jesus Christ Superstar, to the death of "ZDoggMD" as an identity, through moral injury, openness as the prerequisite for everything, why spirituality is a beautiful farce, and what it's like when worry about the future just stops sticking. Health 4.0 son! Contact me, watch all the videos, and join the Supporter Tribe for future zoom meetings here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices