333. That Thing You Can't Stop Thinking About: Ruminating in Widowhood

Have you been beating yourself up because you can't stop thinking about something?   Maybe it’s the last conversation you had with your person, something someone said that felt hurtful, or a decision you're questioning. You tell yourself to move on, but the thought returns like a boomerang, taking up mental space you desperately need for other things. The frustration builds as you wonder why you can't just let it go, especially when everyone says not to let things "live rent free in your head."   Tune in this week to discover what’s really happening in your brain when you can’t stop thinking about something, and how to break the rumination cycle without forcing yourself to "just stop thinking about it."   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/333

Have you ever had someone say, “You're so strong” or, “They're in a better place now” and felt... worse? These well-meaning comments, though intended to comfort, often leave us feeling misunderstood and alone in our grief journey.   Sometimes the people who love us most can hurt us without meaning to. This disconnect between what someone intends and how their actions affect us shows up everywhere in widowhood. And understanding this gap between intention and impact can transform how we navigate grief and relationships.   Tune in this week as I explore the concept of intent versus impact and how it plays out in widowhood. You'll discover how to validate your experience without having to villainize anyone's intentions, and why this distinction matters for your healing.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/332

If you’re surprised by how some friendships have changed after losing your spouse, you’re not alone.   When we lose our person, we often don't expect to also lose connections with friends who we thought would always be there. And many widows experience this unexpected secondary loss - the shifting or disappearing of friendships they thought would remain steady through their grief journey.   Understanding the dynamics of friendship changes during grief can help us process these losses and make room for new connections that align with who we're becoming. Listen in this week as I explore why these friendship changes happen and, more importantly, how to navigate them with grace and self-compassion.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/331

Are you constantly putting everyone else's needs before your own, even in your grief? When we're grieving, it's tempting to try to "keep it together" for everyone else. But managing your grief for others' comfort comes at a deep cost to our own healing.   This week, I’m joined by Bea Albina, a nurse practitioner turned master life coach, somatic expert, and author of a new book called End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits.   She’s here to discuss this pattern of handing our worth, choices, and energy over to others to feel safe, loved, and accepted, or as she calls it: emotional outsourcing.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/330      

Have you ever told yourself, “I'll do it when I feel motivated?”   Maybe it's about going through your person's belongings. Maybe it's about getting back to exercise. Maybe it's about making those difficult financial decisions. Here's the truth: If you're waiting to feel motivated before taking action, you might be waiting a very long time.   Tune in this week to learn the importance of understanding the difference between motivation and commitment. You’ll hear why motivation isn't the spark that starts the fire (and what really is), and practical tools to take action even when you don't feel like it. If you've been waiting to feel "ready" or "motivated" before making changes in your life, this episode is for you.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/329

Have you ever found yourself lying awake at night, with your thoughts spinning out of control? One worried thought leads to another, and before you know it, you're imagining worst-case scenarios that feel all too real.   I call this the ‘what-if' doom spiral, and if you're experiencing it, you're not alone.    Listen in this week to learn how to recognize the what-if doom spiral, and how to calm your nervous system, ground yourself in the present moment, and ask yourself questions that actually move you forward instead of keeping you stuck in anticipatory anxiety.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/328

Standing in a crowded room after losing your spouse can feel like being invisible in plain sight. The laughter around you seems distant, the couples holding hands become all you notice, and somehow being surrounded by people makes the loneliness even sharper.   Join me today to learn simple but powerful actions and mindset shifts that will help you move from feeling like an outsider to feeling genuinely connected, even in challenging social situations.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/327

The human brain has a remarkable ability to adapt to both positive and negative life changes, eventually returning us to a baseline level of happiness.    When your person dies, it can feel like your happiness baseline has been permanently lowered. Many widows worry they'll never experience the same level of joy or fulfillment they once knew. But here's what modern science tells us: your happiness is changeable through consistent, intentional practice.   Join me today to learn how hedonic adaptation works like an emotional thermostat that pulls you back to your normal happiness level, what keeps some people stuck at a lower happiness set point, and how savoring micro-joys interrupts hedonic adaptation and strengthens positive neural pathways.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/326

Grief doesn't follow a straight line. It spirals. When intense emotions resurface months or even years later, when you circle back to feelings you thought you'd already processed, it's not a sign of failure or regression.    The Healing Grief Spiral is a framework I created that reflects how grief actually works: as an upward expansion cycle where we revisit three core steps over and over, each time from a place of greater strength and awareness.    Join me today to discover how to work with your grief instead of against it.  This isn't about moving on or reaching some final stage of acceptance. It's about building the skills to be a real human experiencing grief while creating a life you want to live.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/325

Community isn't just about having people around you - it's about finding those who truly understand the weight of what you're carrying.    When Jennifer Schroeder lost her husband Jerry after 40 years together, she discovered that the isolation of grief was almost as crushing as the loss itself.   Join us this week as Jennifer shares how joining a community of widows transformed her relationship with grief. From arguing that loving life again was "a bridge too far" to finding peace in the belief that her days as a widow were always meant to be, she reveals the specific tools and mindset shifts that helped her move from survival mode to building a meaningful future.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/324