Your Next Opportunity May Be Decided in a Room You’re Not In
By Teri Arvesu | The TAG CollabYears ago, a friend of mine who worked at the corporate level shared something with me that I probably wasn’t supposed to know.My name had come up during a succession-planning meeting. Senior executives were discussing potential candidates for future leadership opportunities, and someone fairly high up in the organization had offered an opinion about me.“She’s good, but she’s not ready yet. She needs to sharpen her editorial edge.”Wait. What?Of all the things someone could have said about me, that was probably the last thing I expected.I was working in news. Editorial judgment was one of my greatest strengths. I knew how to identify a story, make editorial decisions, and lead news coverage. If anything, I was still learning the management side of the business, figuring out how to lead people and navigate the complexities of a leadership role.So hearing that someone thought my editorial skills needed sharpening was almost comical.Almost.Because my first reaction, if I’m being completely honest, was annoyance.How could someone who had barely worked with me have such a strong opinion about my readiness? How was that fair? And how many career decisions were being influenced by perceptions that didn’t necessarily reflect someone’s actual capabilities?My friend, who was also a mentor, let me vent. Then he said something that completely changed how I looked at the situation.“Look, this is good information to have. Now you know what he thinks, and you can do something about it.”He was right.Once I got over being annoyed, I realized I had been given something incredibly valuable: insight into how someone who could influence my career perceived me.And even though I didn’t agree with the assessment, I could do something about it.My mentor suggested that the next time I had an opportunity to speak with this executive, I should be intentional about what I chose to discuss.Instead of focusing on the leadership and management responsibilities I was taking on, why not talk about editorial strategy, news judgment, and the decisions I was making every day?After all, those were the things that mattered most to him.A few weeks later, I had a work-related call with that same executive.I never mentioned what I’d heard. I didn’t challenge his opinion or try to prove him wrong. I simply approached the conversation differently.I talked about editorial decisions, my thinking behind them, and the strategy guiding our news coverage.Nothing exaggerated. Nothing manufactured. These were things I already knew and did well. I was simply being intentional about making that side of my experience visible.Not long afterward, another colleague told me they had spoken with that executive.Apparently, he had been talking about how strong I was editorially.Bingo. One conversation.Now, I can’t tell you that single conversation changed the trajectory of my career. But it did change how that executive spoke about me.And it taught me a lesson I’ve carried throughout my career.Sometimes the gap between where you want to go and how others see you isn’t a gap in capability. It’s a gap in perception.And here’s the uncomfortable part: most of us never get the benefit of knowing what’s being said about us behind closed doors.The Conversations That Shape Our CareersSomewhere, a conversation is happening that could change someone’s career.Maybe it’s in a leadership meeting, over coffee, or during a succession-planning discussion when an executive asks, “Who do we think is ready for this opportunity?”Names come up. Opinions are shared. Someone makes a recommendation. Someone else expresses hesitation.And the people being discussed have no idea the conversation is taking place.We spend years building our résumés, developing expertise, and delivering results. We assume that if we work hard enough, the right people will notice.But as you move into senior leadership, the rules change.Your accomplishments matter. But so does how people experience you, what they believe about your judgment, and whether they trust you with greater responsibility.Your reputation enters the room before you do. Somewhere, a conversation is happening that could change someone’s career.Maybe it’s in a leadership meeting, over coffee, or behind closed doors when an executive asks, “Who do we think is ready for this opportunity?”A few names come up. Opinions are shared. Someone makes a recommendation. Someone else expresses hesitation.And the people being discussed have no idea the conversation is taking place.Here’s what we don’t talk about enough: Your next career opportunity may depend on what people say about you when you’re not in the room.We spend years building our résumés, developing expertise, delivering results, and preparing for interviews. We assume that if we work hard enough and do our jobs well, the right people will notice.But as you move into senior leadership, the rules change. Your accomplishments matter, but so does something less tangible: how people experience you, what they believe about your judgment, and whether they trust you with greater responsibility.I’ve spent enough time in leadership environments to know that when executives discuss potential candidates, they aren’t simply comparing qualifications. They’re thinking about risk, trust, and readiness.Can this person handle pressure? Do they exercise good judgment? Can they navigate difficult personalities and sensitive situations? Do they understand the bigger picture, or are they focused only on their own responsibilities? Would I feel confident putting this person in front of the CEO, the board, or an important client?These are the questions that often determine who gets considered.And the answers aren’t formed during an interview. They’re formed over time, through everyday interactions that may seem insignificant in the moment.How do you carry yourself in meetings? How do you react when someone disagrees with you? Do you participate in office gossip? Can you be trusted with confidential information? Do you take accountability when something goes wrong, or immediately become defensive? Do you bring solutions, or are you known for pointing out problems?People notice these things.They also notice whether you treat everyone with respect, whether you remain composed when tensions rise, and whether you can communicate an opinion without needing to dominate the conversation.These behaviors create a reputation. And that reputation often travels further than your résumé.Think about the difference between hearing someone say, “She’s incredibly talented, but she can be difficult,” and “She’s someone I would trust in any situation.”Both people may be equally qualified. But which one would you feel more comfortable recommending for a senior leadership role?That’s the part of executive presence that rarely gets discussed. It’s not about how you dress, how loudly you speak, or whether you look the part. It’s about the confidence you inspire in others. It’s the way you think, communicate, listen, respond, and make people feel when they work with you.And it’s not always fair. Perceptions can be influenced by bias, organizational politics, and outdated ideas about what leadership should look like. But that doesn’t make them any less consequential.There’s also an important difference between being well-known and having someone willing to advocate for you. When an executive recommends you for an opportunity, they’re putting their own credibility behind that recommendation. They need to believe you can deliver, represent the organization well, and handle situations they may not be there to supervise.That’s why sponsorship matters. It’s why relationships matter. And it’s why being exceptional at your job doesn’t automatically mean you’re being positioned for the next one.And Here’s the Cold, Hard TruthYou can be the hardest-working, most qualified person in the organization and still be passed over.Not because you aren’t capable, but becaus… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thetagcollab.substack.com/subscribe