DAILY SHOW: I'm Exfoliating My Crack | THE RIZZUTO SHOW COMEDY PODCAST
Rizz goes to one 311 concert and needs a recovery day, Moon admits he doesn't scrub his legs, rock stars are recording naked, and St. Louis listeners are risking their dignity for concert tickets to a band they aren't even allowed to know yet.Welcome to another gloriously dysfunctional funny podcast from The Rizzuto Show, where Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, King Scott, and the gang are left to run the circus while Rizz enjoys a well-earned day off.And naturally, they're going to make fun of him for it.Today's chaos includes backstage adventures with 311, the Flyover Comedy Festival taking over St. Louis, a disturbing debate about shower hygiene, naked rock stars, Gen Z's questionable cigarette comeback, and an alternate universe where Joe Pesci could've played Kramer on Seinfeld.Plus, we've got celebrity gossip, parenting debates, financial advice nobody asked for, and a round of Three and Five featuring mystery concert tickets, imaginary fast-food mascots, and Mike Tyson as a Nintendo character.It's St. Louis morning radio at its finest.Which should concern everyone.Rizz Can't Hang After 311: One Concert, One Missing HostThe morning begins with an important announcement.Rizz isn't here.Apparently, the man who normally runs The Rizzuto Show attended a 311 concert at The Factory in Chesterfield on a Wednesday night and decided that getting up for morning radio the next day was somebody else's problem.Moon and Lern immediately diagnose the situation.Rizz can't hang.To be fair, Lern points out that Rizz almost never takes time off and probably deserves a break.But that doesn't mean they're going to let him live it down.Moon also attended the concert and describes it as one of the loudest shows he's experienced in years.After watching the first few songs from the side of the stage, he moved into the audience and got absolutely demolished by the bass-heavy sound.Meanwhile, Rizz was enjoying himself from a private table that Moon couldn't even access.And at 10 p.m., Rizz was still texting Rafe.On a school night.Rafe points out that if he texted Rizz that late, he'd probably be hearing about it until retirement.Apparently, the rules change when the boss is having fun.Moon's 311 Backstage Adventure: Father of the Year, According to MoonBefore Rizz disappeared for his recovery day, Moon had his own backstage adventure at the 311 show.He brought his kids to The Factory and, thanks to a shared guitar tech, got them access to some seriously iconic instruments.His daughter even helped sound-check Nick Hexum's guitar and P-Nut's bass.That's a pretty incredible concert experience.And Moon would like everyone to know what an incredible father he is for making it happen.Lern responds with exactly the amount of sarcasm the situation deserves.The crew also discusses Nick Hexum's impressive physique, Moon's inability to compete with a ridiculously fit rock star, and the strange reality that Moon's kids aren't especially interested in following their dad into the music business.Apparently, when your father is a professional musician, the rebellious thing to do is become literally anything else.Moon also admits that he's still convinced he smells like marijuana after taking his son to a Hurricane Wisdom concert.He's taking extra showers.He's checking his clothes.He's even trimming his nose hairs.Which leads directly into a conversation nobody expected to have before breakfast.Feet to Face?! The Shower Hygiene Investigation Nobody RequestedHow do you shower?Hair first?Face first?Armpits?Feet?And are you one of those people who assumes that soapy water running down your legs counts as actually washing them?Because Moon is.He admits that he doesn't routinely scrub his legs or feet unless they're visibly dirty.The rest of the crew immediately questions his entire approach to personal hygiene.Lern explains her exfoliating routine.Rafe delivers an elaborate shower tutorial involving shampoo, conditioner, a loofah, and three minutes of standing under hot water contemplating every mistake you've ever made.Rizz reveals that he washes his face last.Moon is horrified.The debate escalates into separate bars of soap, brushing your teeth in the shower, and whether anybody should be allowed to touch their face after washing other body parts.Then Moon reveals the real reason this subject has been bothering him.During a massage, the therapist worked on his feet and then moved directly to his head and scalp.Feet. To. Face.No handwashing intermission.No sanitation ceremony.Just a direct flight from toes to forehead.And somehow, that's not even Moon's weirdest massage story.The crew revisits his previous uncomfortable massage experience, including a misunderstanding involving the term "credit card."Let's just say the story comes with more swiping than a dating app.Gen Z Wants Cigarettes Back Because They're Plant-BasedRemember when everybody agreed that smoking cigarettes was unhealthy?Apparently, some people on TikTok have decided to revisit that discussion.Moon brings up a trend involving young adults switching from vaping back to traditional cigarettes, with some describing tobacco as a more natural, plant-based alternative.Technically, tobacco is a plant.So is poison ivy.That doesn't make either one a wellness product.The crew debates the dangers of smoking and vaping, why younger generations seem determined to rediscover bad ideas, and whether social media has made every terrible habit look fashionable again.Rafe points out that Gen Z is also rediscovering concert mosh pits as though previous generations never thought of throwing themselves into strangers.Lern offers a radical suggestion.Maybe don't smoke anything.Apparently, that's controversial now.The conversation also turns toward technology, memory, and whether younger generations are actually becoming less intelligent or simply adapting to a world where every answer is one search away.Which is a fascinating debate coming from a room full of adults who can't agree on how to wash their faces.Are You Actually Smart? The Crew Grades Its Own IntelligenceA claim about birth months and intelligence leads Moon to ask a dangerous question.How smart do you think you are?Above average?Average?Below average?Or are you one of those people who thinks they're a genius because they once successfully reset a Wi-Fi router?Rizz considers himself above average despite admitting he flunked out of college.Moon says his intelligence changes depending on the day.Lern gives herself credit for emotional intelligence.And Rafe reminds everyone that he once ate one of those little silica gel packets from a beef jerky package.Not exactly the opening argument for Mensa membership.The crew also discusses extremely intelligent people who struggle socially, whether genius can be lonely, and why academic intelligence doesn't always translate into practical life skills.Naturally, the conversation produces almost no measurable increase in the collective intelligence of the studio.Teenagers, Money & the Latchkey Kid GenerationThe crew tackles a survey suggesting some teenagers may be better at managing money than their parents.Moon discusses teens saving more, sticking to budgets, and making smarter choices about wants versus needs.Lern reflects on learning financial responsibility as an adult.Rizz wonders why nobody told him to start investing in real estate when he was younger.And Rafe explains that growing up without much money teaches a different kind of financial expertise: knowing exactly which utility company will give you the longest grace period before shutting something off.It's not exactly a lesson from a financial advisor.But it is a skill.Then comes the parenting debate.At what age is it okay to leave a child home alone?Five?Eight?Twelve?Or should parents wait until the kid has a mortgage and a 401(k)?The crew compares different state rules and recommendations while remembering growing up as latchkey kids.Rafe recalls being responsible for younger children.Rizz remembers his older sister serving as the household babysitter.And Moon remembers the classic childhood instructions.Don't answer the door.Don't touch the stove.Don't burn down the house.See you in a couple of hours.They also revisit an old 1980s safety video called Alone at Home and the Block Parent program, comparing childhood independence with modern parenting expectations.Underneath the jokes, there's a legitimate conversation about readiness, emergency contacts, supervision, and how much responsibility children should have.But mostly, everybody is amazed that an entire generation survived childhood without GPS tracking.The Sklar Brothers & Flyover Comedy Festival Take Over St. LouisWhile Rizz recovers from his big night out, Rafe is busy helping run the ninth annual Flyover Comedy Festival.The festival opened with a sold-out Casey Rocket show at Delmar Hall and continues with performances featuring David Cross, Tone Bell, the Sklar Brothers, and hundreds of comedians throughout the Delmar Loop.Rafe explains how the event grew from a grassroots project with his friends into a nationally recognized comedy festival.And this year, there's even more industry attention.The festival has helped St. Louis comedians gain exposure and opportunities at major events like Moontower Comedy Festival.The Sklar Brothers are returning to their hometown for performances alongside Rafe, bringing their signature rapid-fire comedy back to the city where they grew up.The festival also features an upgraded website that lets fans search by comedian, comedy style, and performance schedule.Because when you've got roughly 300 comedians in one neighborhood, a little organization is helpful.Otherwise, it's just a very expensive family reunion where everybody thinks they're the funniest person in the room.Rafe also highlights the walkable festival layout, with shows at The Pageant, Delmar Hall, Blueberry Hill, Fitz's, Pin-Up Bowl, and The Church on Suede.Plus, there's a wonderfully uncomfortable show concept called Tell Mom What You Did.Comedians tell stories they would never share with their mothers.Then somebody calls Mom.And she gets to hear it.Live.It's Thanksgiving dinner, except somebody intentionally removed the last remaining boundaries between parents and their adult children.Naked Rock Stars: Susanna Hoffs, Wayne Static & Rafe's Very Questionable Comedy CareerLern brings up a fascinating story about Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles.According to Hoffs, she recorded vocals for Eternal Flame while completely nude.The unusual recording method reportedly began when a producer jokingly suggested that Olivia Newton-John had done something similar.Hoffs tried it, liked the results, and eventually developed a superstition around recording without clothes.Suddenly, the title Eternal Flame has an entirely different meaning.Moon shares a recording-studio story he'd heard about Wayne Static, who reportedly preferred recording vocals without clothing.And apparently, it wasn't a particularly subtle situation for anybody else in the studio.The conversation immediately turns into a competition over who has the strangest recording experience.Rizz jokes about Moon wanting everyone naked while recording.Rafe claims he recorded his first two comedy specials that way before remembering that stand-up recordings usually involve a live audience.Then the crew remembers that Rafe actually has participated in naked comedy bits.Including a segment with a nudist.And another involving a grill.So much for being a never nude.Apparently, the rule is simple.Rafe doesn't get naked at home.He saves that for work.Which somehow makes it worse.Crap on Celebrities: Gwen Stefani's Son, PETA & New Rock MusicLern dives into celebrity and music news with a look at Kingston Rossdale, the son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale.Kingston has begun releasing music of his own, including the song Right Side of the Moon, and recently performed at the legendary Troubadour.Despite Gwen and Gavin's very public breakup, both parents supported their son's performance.The crew listens to his music and hears hints of his father's rock influences.Moon is especially interested because the song has the word Moon in the title.Naturally.Meanwhile, PETA has an unusual request for Cage the Elephant.The organization wants the band to temporarily change its social media name to Free the Elephant to raise awareness about an elephant named Oka, whom PETA says has endured mistreatment.The crew debates whether the campaign is a clever way to get attention for an important animal-welfare issue.And whether a band should have to worry about losing its social media verification badge in the process.Lern also covers new music from Staind, with Aaron Lewis discussing the frustrations and pressures that inspired the band's upcoming album.The crew checks out a new song and wonders whether the band is returning to its heavier roots.Rush has also added more dates to its Las Vegas Sphere residency, while Stone Temple Pilots members Dean and Robert DeLeo are involved with new music from One More Satellite.Moon is particularly impressed by how many younger music fans are still discovering classic '90s bands.Including a 19-year-old he met whose favorite band is Stone Temple Pilots.Somewhere, a flannel shirt just shed a single tear.Druski Hosts Saturday Night Live & the Internet Takes Over HollywoodLern shares a major television ratings story involving internet comedian Druski.His hosting appearance on Saturday Night Live, with The Strokes as musical guest, reportedly attracted 5.6 million viewers and gave the show its biggest audience in two years.The crew discusses what this means for the changing entertainment industry.Traditionally, comedians worked their way through clubs, television appearances, and industry gatekeepers before getting major opportunities.Now, someone can build an enormous online audience and walk directly onto one of television's most recognizable stages.Rafe points out that internet comedy stars are changing the way people discover performers, buy tickets, and follow entertainment.Moon agrees that traditional celebrity influence isn't what it used to be.And Rizz gives Druski credit for handling a job that can be incredibly difficult even for experienced performers.The discussion also includes one of Druski's sketches involving a young kid who thinks he's being recruited into the Navy SEALs.It's absurd.It's uncomfortable.And apparently, it's exactly the kind of internet comedy that can now lead to hosting Saturday Night Live.Frankie Muniz, Christina Applegate & the Serious Side of Entertainment NewsThe celebrity news continues with actor and NASCAR driver Frankie Muniz, who was reportedly hospitalized after a crash during a practice session at Daytona International Speedway.The crew discusses the report that Muniz was alert, later released, and unable to participate in a planned charity race supporting veterans and their families.But the story also unlocks a classic King Scott memory.Years ago, during an after-party associated with the Nintendo Fusion Tour, a teenage Frankie Muniz was reportedly allowed into a 21-and-over event while someone with Scott's group was turned away.Scott still remembers the injustice.Mostly because Frankie walked in with two attractive women.Some grudges never die.Especially when they involve celebrities getting into parties you weren't supposed to enter.The crew also discusses Christina Applegate's ongoing health struggles and comments about severe pain and her search for answers.They remember comedian and actor Anthony Clark, known for the sitcom Yes, Dear, following reports of his death at age 62.It's a reminder that behind the celebrity headlines are real people dealing with difficult situations.And that even a show this ridiculous knows when to put the jokes aside.What If Joe Pesci Played Kramer? The Seinfeld Casting Universe Gets WeirdOne of the biggest pop culture rabbit holes of the episode begins when Lern introduces a book exploring the creation of Seinfeld and some of the actors reportedly considered during the show's early casting process.The crew immediately starts imagining a completely different version of one of television's most iconic sitcoms.What if Joe Pesci had played Kramer?What if Rick Moranis had played George Costanza?What if Megan Mullally had been Elaine?And what if Jim Carrey had somehow ended up in the apartment across from Jerry?The crew reviews a long list of actors mentioned as possible choices for the show's characters.For Kramer, the names include Hector Elizondo, Harry Dean Stanton, Dan Hedaya, Larry Hankin, Eugene Levy, Joe Pesci, Jeffrey Tambor, and Richard Belzer.Some make sense.Others are nearly impossible to imagine.Moon thinks Harry Dean Stanton could have played a much darker version of Kramer.Rizz likes the idea of Eugene Levy.Rafe explains that Larry Hankin actually appeared in Seinfeld as an actor playing Kramer in the fictional sitcom-within-a-sitcom.And nobody can quite picture Joe Pesci bursting through Jerry's apartment door without the entire show becoming a crime drama.Then comes George Costanza.The possible casting names include Adam Arkin, Anthony Edwards, Rick Moranis, Jim Carrey, Paul Feig, Robert Wuhl, and Larry Miller.The crew debates which actors could have captured George's insecurity, frustration, and spectacularly bad decision-making.Jim Carrey is especially difficult to imagine because his energy might have completely changed the balance of the show.Finally, they explore possible alternatives for Elaine, including Patricia Heaton, Wendie Malick, Rosie O'Donnell, and Megan Mullally.The conversation turns into a fascinating reminder of how much casting shapes television history.One different actor, and an entire sitcom could have become something completely unrecognizable.Imagine Seinfeld with Joe Pesci screaming at Newman.Actually, that might be worth watching.Mystery Concert Tickets & Three and Five: The Game Nobody Is Prepared ForWith Rizz absent, Moon takes control of the morning's ticket giveaways.And there's a twist.The show has tickets to a major concert that hasn't officially been announced yet.The band is apparently a big deal for fans of 105.7 The Point, and Lern says it's one of her personal favorites.But nobody is allowed to reveal the name.Not Moon.Not Lern.Not Rafe.Not even the contestants who are desperately trying to guess.The crew offers a few extremely helpful clues.The band has a lead singer.Lern hasn't seen them perform in years.And everybody is supposed to be very excited.Thank you, Rafe.That really narrows it down.Listeners can also compete for tickets to Alter Bridge at The Pageant, My Posse in Effect's Beastie Boys tribute, and The Urge's Thanksgiving weekend show.But the mystery tickets quickly become the hottest prize.Apparently, people are willing to win concert tickets before they even know who's playing.Which is either an impressive amount of trust in The Rizzuto Show or a concerning willingness to make plans without reading the details.Probably both.Chick-fil-A Chickens, Muppet Court & Mike Tyson Saves the DayThe rules of Three and Five sound easy.Rafe gives you a category.You have five seconds to name three things that fit.Do it successfully in two out of three rounds, and you win tickets.No stalling.No long pauses.No "uh."No "um."No making noises that sound suspiciously like you're buying yourself another second.It's simple.Until somebody actually tries it.Then suddenly, people who have spent their entire lives watching movies cannot name three Adam Sandler films.Sports fans forget quarterbacks.And adults discover that knowing something and saying it under pressure are two completely different skills.Matt from St. Charles loses after naming a nonexistent Chick-fil-A chicken mascot.Kim from Cape Girardeau wins mystery tickets by naming lions, tigers, and bears as animals that can kill a human.Caitlin from Caseyville survives a debate over whether the Memphis Redbirds count as a professional sports team and whether Sesame Street characters qualify as Muppets.David from Eureka freezes when asked to name Christmas movies.James from Festus recovers from a James Bond movie disaster by naming Jay-Z, Eminem, and Tupac.Tom from Mascoutah gets eliminated after trying to count rhinestones as gemstones.And Shannon from Fenton delivers the answer of the morning.Asked to name three Nintendo characters, he offers Zelda, Mike Tyson, and Mario.Mike Tyson?Rafe points out that Tyson appeared in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! on the Nintendo Entertainment System.Technically, he's a character in a Nintendo game.The crew accepts the answer.Shannon wins.And somewhere, a trivia purist quietly throws a controller across the room.Another Day of St. Louis Comedy, Rock News & Questionable JudgmentFrom backstage passes at 311 and the Flyover Comedy Festival to shower habits, cigarette nostalgia, celebrity gossip, and mystery concert giveaways, this episode covers an absolutely unreasonable amount of ground.We've got rock music news.We've got St. Louis comedy.We've got parenting debates.We've got pop culture history.We've got a full investigation into whether washing your face last is disgusting.And we've got Rizz missing the entire thing because he attended a concert on a Wednesday night.If you're searching for comedy podcasts featuring funny stories, daily humor, celebrity news, weird headlines, St. Louis entertainment, and sarcastic morning-show chaos, you've found your people.Or at least people who are equally questionable.Come for the Sklar Brothers and 311 stories.Stay for the naked recording sessions, the Seinfeld casting what-ifs, and the mystery concert tickets.Leave with more information about everyone's shower routine than you ever wanted.Hit play for another funny podcast with Moon, Lern, Rafe, King Scott, and the rest of the crew.The Rizzuto Show: Where Rizz can't hang, Moon doesn't wash his legs, rock stars don't wear pants, and Mike Tyson is somehow the smartest answer of the morning.Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.Gen Z fueling tobacco sales as wild claims cigarettes are ‘healthier’ than vaping go viral: ‘plant-based alternative’Larry David book reveals actors who almost starred on Seinfeld as George, Kramer, and Elaine'Flirty' Nurse Practitioner Accused of Offering to Sleep With ...Amazon's Ring unveils flying drone and robot to patrol homes and businessesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
