The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour

Ah, the sound of hooves clopping across the rooftops and a smell of pumpkins and absinthe left out for Father Samhain can mean only one thing: it is truly the most woe-nderful time of the year! The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour’s Halloween Special reaches once more into the casket for only the finest knitwear, slacks and bejewelled shawls, because here we dress for dinner... Our hosts begin by venturing - as is so oft the case – off down the old pub, where a Voice From The Gallows ensures the spirits they find aren’t just restricted to Harry Hewart’s decanter collection. Following these rather alarming events, a check-in at a luxury country spa retreat is called for, with the charming if rather eccentric regulars keeping the gin cooled down at The Ice House. How many eggs does someone have to smash before you realise that RightMove summary may not have been entirely transparent about the history of this house? How many phallic symbols have to be smeared on your bedroom window before you realise that TripAdvisor review may not have been entirely representative of this hotel? And how many times to we have to petition LWT for a Diamond Lady spin-off sitcom? Gently press the Play button with a croquet mallet and/or mell hammer, and find out… The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

There was much excitement earlier this week as the Antiques Roadshow film crew pulled into the grounds of Birtley Priory to be met by Pod Producer Ken eagerly clutching a battered C90 cassette, complete with an illegibly scrawled label and browned sellotape over the record-tab. The raw enthusiasm of Fiona Bruce, hoping this could be a secretly recorded rehearsal session of The Beatles, quickly turned to despondent anger when the assembled crowd was treated to a priceless raw cut of one of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour’s Lost Episodes™… Yes, unearthed from the archives (Pod Producer Ken found it wedged down the back of the toilet), and meticulously digitally restored (he’s edited out the clunks of him hitting the Record and Stop buttons), this hitherto-unheard conversation charts the time some years back that the boys from The ExtonMoss Experiment dropped round for a gin, a chinwag and a deep-dive into the Dungeons and Dragons and Mr and Mrs. What are the odds of six separate roleplaying characters ALL rolling a Ø for personality? What are the chances of Derek Batey shelling that prize money out of what is clearly going to be his own account? And how likely is the podcast getting sued if the un-bleeped version is ever aired? Clamber into the clapped-out rollercoaster, pull the Play lever and find out… [SERIOUS NOTE, THOUGH: The competition mentioned in this episode is NO LONGER RUNNING because it was recorded three years ago and someone WON. Yeah that's right, you had your chance then.] The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

Horror and hard rock have long gone hand in grimy hand, and this outing of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's After Dark strand harkens back to an historical moment where three chords and hairspray attempted to go mainstream. Because when the lead singer of the world's largest metal band stars in a Tuesday night BBC One drama, you know it's not long before he'll be recognised in Waitrose. Yes, the volume is turned up to eleven as the doors of 1990's The Paradise Club are booted well and truly booted open, as the world's unlikeliest brothers play host to London's least stage-ready band, who perform to unfeasibly small audiences that have never before heard any music. As connoisseurs of loud tunes and questionable television, this is of course PeggyMountPod's perfect cultural fodder... Has the BBC drama department only got one casting director for everything they make? Has the money that would normally spent on extras for the club scenes gone to PRS royalties for a soundtrack that the show's Sanatogen-necking audience might actually recognise? And how much does this podcast owe Bruce Dickinson for repeatedly howling ♫ 'TATTOO-OO-OOED MILLIONA-A-A-A-AIRE' throughout*? Press Play on a shoddily-recorded bootleg that you bought for £2 off the market, and find out... *Absolutely nothing. Blackout's already bought Tattooed Millionaire on at least five different releases, it's more than paid for. The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

As noted several moons ago, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour knows that the language of cinema is a little different to that of the small screen, but it’s a lesson they love to revisit nonetheless. This week’s study is of personal pronouns; as in ‘She'll probably regret wearing that’, ‘He made an egg sandwich that should be on trial’, and ‘I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle’… Yes, Doctor Velvet and Blackout round out the podcast's After Dark series by shining a flickering torch into the dimmest days of the British Film Industry, to find the Boon reunion-party in full swing and drenched in red-dyed corn syrup. Still, there’s a vicar on-hand so it’s all good* clean** fun***. Why did Anthony Daniels agree to a part in this? Why did Burt Kwouk agree to a part as long as he didn't have to speak? And why did Pod Producer Ken leave the room mid-way through and lock himself in the toilet, crying? Put 20p in the pub jukebox, press Play, swing off a cast iron chandelier and find out… * delete ** as *** appropriate The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour continues to explore the weekly cultural abyss of what really goes on After Dark. But as so often with the analysis of horror, the story of what scares us isn't quite as intriguing as what in turn reassures. And for a formative mind in the harsh striplights of the 1980s, there are few things so reassuring as the jet slacks, tousled demi-wave and leatherette blouson of the world's most mysterious techno-vigilante... Yes, Doctor Velvet and Blackout are joined once again by the loveably irascible Ozzy Bognops, as their attention turns to that doyenne of Saturday teatime adventure, the Knight Rider. Because when things take a theatrically sinister turn on a Hollywood backlot and Michael Knight is sent to investigate, absolutely no nit will be left unpicked back at Mountpeg Towers... How much money can you save by writing a screenplay set literally in the studio where it's going to be made, so that you don't have to do any set-dressing? How convenient is it to get your star's stuntman to play the star in a thing where your star plays his stuntman? And how many hints does a man have to drop that he just wants a job where he can go to the beach? Tell your car to press Play, and find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

It's the question asked by anybody of an inquiring mind (and the hosts of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour are no exception) when faced with baffling circumstance and an unexplained outcome: Did that actually just happen? In fact, so determined are they to get to the bottom of it all that they've asked The ExtonMoss Experiment to come round and help solve the mysteries of the universe. Or of Bristol, at the very least. Yes, passing under the rickety analytical equipment knocked together in a remote barn is BBC2's landmark cultural exploration of the outré from 1973, Leap In The Dark. Covering an array of psychic phenomena such as astrology, clairvoyance, divining and walking around a field for hours on end with sticks, this thoughtful yet playfully sceptical magazine-show is sure to raise more questions than it answers... Is Gordon Snell sponsored by Lee Bender? Is Linda Blandford sponsored by BUPA? And has Dŵr Cymru Welsh Water still not sponsored that cottage yet? Wave your dowsing rod over the Play button and you might just find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is nothing if not a podcast of juxtapositions and contrasts, like mixing vintage TV shows with digital platforms, and necking Malibu and Quatro out of the antique sherry glasses. And it's this grating collision of 1980s futurism and sepia-toned yesteryear to which the hosts turn once again, because everyone knows it's not really a horror-season if you don't put A Dracula™ in it... Yes, messrs Velvet, Blackout and Bognops break out the garlic and make sure the pooper-scoopers are within arm's reach, as Flash Gordon, The Phantom and a host of King Features chums (as well as a minibus full of their kids) find themselves knee-deep in Transylvanian doings when the Defenders Of The Earth (defenders...) wonder what exactly has gone into Dracula's Potion. How many biological-photocopying superpowers does Dracula have that that even Bram Stoker didn't know about? How does the Grade-2-listed status of a 900yr old Eastern European castle affect a local authority application for an on-site massage parlour with neon-pink accent lighting? And how do the Defenders Of The Earth (defenders...) think that turning up unannounced in a remote woodland village dressed like the Aerobics-Wing of the Gladiators isn't going to lead to a little bit of adverse comment at the very least? Nip round to Phaze for a quick change of clothes, press Play and find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

Fear of the unknown has always been a source of crippling anxiety for puny humans, and it pays to scry the future at any available moment. Whether you've got one eye on the 3:30 at Chepstow, on that recent headline about an escaped leopard, or on that pair of plimsolls in the window of Freeman Hardy & Willis for Saturday afternoon, you simply can't out-run destiny (and those plimsolls look great #BuyTheThings). Yes, the mists are clearing at The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour as our hosts return once again to their beloved Paradise Lodge and find that You're Only Young Twice. A visiting clairvoyant brings dire forebodings to those who treat her less than reverently, and since that's Flora default-setting it's safe to predict trouble by tea-time... How culturally insensitive is it to write A Locationally Undisclosed Foreign Character™ into your sitcom if the associated performer doesn't even attempt a remotely recognisable accent? How fast can you make an elderly woman ride a motorcycle down a cobbled street before the insurance overseer has a fit of the vapours? And how is Blackout supposed to plan a road-trip if Geography as we know it is a mere construct of Yorkshire Television? Press Pause, consult Google Maps, press Play then find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]    

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's concerted foray into televisual horror continues apace, with Doctor Velvet, Blackout and Ozzy Bognops continuing to wade drinks-aloft through the darkness. But into every cobwebbed crypt an ecclesiastical sunbeam must fall, and salvation arrives in the form of The Finest Hair On Television™... Yes, this week our trio of intrepid explorers brace their souls against all the netherworld has to offer by hitching a ride on the Highway To Heaven, where a Hallowe'en motel stop-over gives rise to interwoven suburban homilies on the spiritual dangers of practical jokes, emotional disengagement and sandwiches. How many appearance, repeat and residual fees does Michael Landon® bank by penning in archive-footage of his own cinematic back catalogue? How many times do the hosts say the words Michael Landon® in this episode, and is that even close to the number of times the words Michael Landon® appear in the programme's credits? And how many Michael Landons Michael Landon® Landon's Michael Michael's Michael Landon® Michael Landon® Michael Landon® Landon Landon? Press Michael Landon® and find out... #MichaelLandon The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

With the first stirrings of spring on the breeze, an archive-television reviewer's thoughts naturally turn to fresh air, greenery and neolithic menhirs. A quest for savage nature leads to this episode of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour being 33% outside broadcast, as well as seeing the return of a beloved special guest back in the studio! Yes, ancient rituals, cutting-edge science and new age ephemera collide, as that rusty old chopper has been broken out of the shed and ridden into the depths of rural Wiltshire for sardonic scrutiny of the first episode of HTV's iconic Children Of The Stones! For once, our hosts aren't the weirdest people in the vicinity. Although that doesn't stop them trying... When is it permissible to run over an old lady standing in the middle of the road? When is it okay to knock off your academic research for the day and knock back whisky in the pub instead? And when is someone - anyone - going to send a Going Metric: Tins Of Paint leaflet to Blackout? The sooner you press Play, the sooner you'll find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]