Oliver Burkeman on Stop Optimizing, Start Living What Matters | EP 640

What if the real key to emotional wellness isn’t in doing more, achieving more, or finally “getting it all together”—but in letting go of the need to?In this deeply grounding episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with Oliver Burkeman, acclaimed author of Four Thousand Weeks and Meditations for Mortals, to explore why our obsession with control, productivity, and optimization may be the very things keeping us from peace.Burkeman challenges the conventional approach to time management and self-improvement. Instead of mastering life by getting on top of everything, he proposes that freedom lies in embracing our limitations, finding meaning in the present moment, and choosing what really matters.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Oliver Burkeman: https://www.oliverburkeman.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this essential episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with cybersecurity expert Brad Deflin, founder of Total Digital Security, to explore why digital protection is no longer optional—it’s personal. As cyber threats evolve faster than ever, most people still rely on outdated solutions or remain dangerously unaware of their vulnerabilities.Brad explains how cybersecurity is no longer just an IT issue—it's a human one. From protecting your family’s privacy to preserving your professional reputation, the stakes are higher than ever. Drawing from his background in wealth management and his work with high-net-worth clients, Brad shares a clear and empowering framework for taking ownership of your digital life.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Brad Deflin: https://www.totaldigitalsecurity.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Episode 638 of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with Michelle Chalfant—renowned therapist, author, and creator of The Adult Chair model—to explore one of the most transformational frameworks for emotional and relational healing.At the heart of Michelle’s approach is a deceptively simple but powerful idea: we all live from one of three “chairs”—the Child, the Adolescent, or the Adult. Most of us, without realizing it, are stuck reacting to life from our younger, wounded selves. The result? Triggers. Overreactions. People-pleasing. Shame. Emotional reactivity. Disconnection.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Michelle Chalfant: https://theadultchair.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Steven Heine—pioneering cultural psychologist and author of Cultural Psychology and Start Making Sense—joins John R. Miles to explore how the self is not something we’re born with, but something shaped by the cultural systems we inhabit.Drawing on decades of research, Heine reveals how East and West construct identity in profoundly different ways—affecting everything from how we process failure to how we seek meaning. We explore how existential psychology can help us make peace with the discomfort of not having all the answers and how cultural blind spots may be holding us back from deeper personal growth.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Steven Heine: https://psych.ubc.ca/profile/steven-heine/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this powerful solo episode, John R. Miles explores the emotional architecture of transformation—starting with shadow awareness and ending with integration. You'll learn how your inner world shapes everything you lead, create, and care about. Through the R.A.R.E. Method (Recognize, Acknowledge, Reveal, Exchange), John offers a practical framework to help you stop reacting from old wounds and start responding from clarity. Whether you're a leader, parent, partner, or creator, this episode is your guide to becoming more grounded, emotionally safe, and aligned in every area of life.Click Here for the Full ShownotesWant to Go Deeper?Get the full episode companion guide—including journaling prompts, the R.A.R.E. Method worksheet, and exclusive tools to help you apply what you heard today—inside The Ignition Room, our members-only hub for real transformation.👉 Access it now at theignitedlife.net and start integrating this episode into your actual life.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this powerful episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with Christopher D. Connors—executive coach to Fortune 100 leaders, bestselling author of The Champion Leader, and top instructor on LinkedIn Learning—to explore what it really takes to lead with impact in today’s fast-moving world.Christopher breaks down the difference between reactive and intentional leadership and shares the daily practices that help elite performers stay focused, resilient, and human-centered. From the strategic prioritization habits of Susan Wojcicki to the hidden superpower of psychological safety, this conversation is packed with actionable frameworks and mindset shifts to help you become the kind of leader people want to follow.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Christopher Connors: https://chrisdconnors.comIf you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this raw and powerful conversation, Keila Shaheen—author of the bestselling Shadow Work Journal—joins John R. Miles to explore what it really takes to heal. They unpack how shadow work reveals the hidden parts of ourselves that still seek protection, how journaling becomes a tool for self-trust, and why real transformation starts with emotional honesty. Whether you’re navigating burnout, identity shifts, or emotional triggers, this episode offers a roadmap to healing, integration, and inner peace.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Keila Shaheen: https://www.instagram.com/keilashaheen/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode 633 kicks off the Power to Change series by challenging the myth that change must be dramatic to be meaningful. Through insights from experts like Katy Milkman, BJ Fogg, and Jud Brewer—as well as a personal story from Randy Blythe—John unpacks how behavior loops, emotional rewiring, and identity-focused habits form the foundation for sustainable transformation. This episode isn't about fixing yourself—it's about becoming someone you trust, one small shift at a time.Click Here for the Full ShownotesAnd if that framework sparked something in you—if you're thinking, “This is exactly what I need, but I’m not sure I’ll remember it in the moment…”—I’ve got something for you.I created a free Connection Compass Guide inside The Ignition Room on Substack.I've created a free Becoming You Workbook, available inside The Ignition Room on Substack.It’s packed with:Tiny habits lead to identity-level transformationEmotions drive behavior loops—curiosity helps break themMicroshifts lead to macro impact when practiced consistentlyIf you want to train your nervous system to respond, not just react—👉 you can grab it now at theignitedlife.net.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this inspiring episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with bestselling author, behavioral design expert, and speaker Karen Salmansohn to explore the transformative lessons from her new book You're to Die For Life: How to Maximize Joy and Minimize Regret Before Your Time Runs Out. Together, they unpack what it means to escape a “near-life experience” and create a life filled with meaning, intention, and impact.Karen shares her personal wake-up calls—from a high-powered advertising career that lacked inner fulfillment to the death of her father, which awakened her to the fragility and urgency of life. She introduces powerful tools such as the “To-Die List,” identity-based habits, and chronological life mapping—all rooted in behavioral psychology and designed to help listeners live with greater alignment and less regret.This episode blends science, story, and soul, offering a practical and heartfelt guide to becoming who you’re meant to be before it’s too late.Visit this link for the full show notes.Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Karen Salmansohn: https://www.notsalmon.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at Follow him on Instagram at Subscribe to our  and to our For more insights and resources, visit www.passionstruck.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Episode 631 of Passion Struck, John Miles sits down with bestselling author and global CEO advisor Dr. Bob Rosen to launch our new series The Power to Change. This episode delves into the often-overlooked truth behind personal transformation: that genuine change starts when we disentangle from the emotional narratives, behaviors, and beliefs that no longer serve us.Bob shares insights from his new book, Detach, revealing how to transition from a state of survival to one of thriving with purpose, presence, and clarity. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or uncertain how to move forward—this conversation will give you both the clarity and the courage to start.Visit this link for the full shownotes!Go Deeper: The Ignited LifeIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.🔗 Subscribe at TheIgnitedLife.net and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick: https://www.lovefactuallypod.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit www.passionstruck.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.