#58 Why I'm Happy When Bad Things Happen To My Kids

DAY 5 of the Stop the Spiral Challenge 🔥 Today we're talking about the fear spiral almost no one admits out loud — the "What if…?" spiral. "What if my child falls behind?" "What if I ruined them?" "What if something terrible happens?" "What if I can't hold it all together?" Culture gives us two unhelpful answers: 1️⃣ "Eh, that'll never happen, don't worry about it." 2️⃣ "You're anxious, poor you — avoid anything that feels hard." Both keep you small. Both keep you scared. Both keep you spiraling. But there's a third way. A leadership mindset that says: 👉 "What if? … So what. If that happened, here's what I would do." 👉 Face the fear. 👉 Make a plan. 👉 Become the person who could handle it. In this session, you'll learn: ✨ Why minimizing or coddling anxiety doesn't actually help ✨ The mindset shift that breaks catastrophic thinking ✨ The 3 tools to stop "future fear spirals" " ✨ How to turn worst-case scenarios into leadership plans ✨ How to build the identity of a parent who can handle ANYTHING This is not about ignoring fear. It's about becoming stronger than it. JOIN EARLY BIRD FOR ALCHEMIZE 🌟 If this challenge has opened your eyes to how much power you actually have, you'll love Alchemize — my 12-week program for rewiring your triggers, building leadership, and transforming how your home feels. 👉 Join the Early Bird list here: www.hifam.com/alchemize Early Bird gets: 🔥 Exclusive pricing 🔥 Bonus tools 🔥 First access when doors open 

Today we're breaking one of the most painful spirals: the moments you fall short, lose patience, shut down, or react in ways you regret — and suddenly your brain whispers, "You're failing." Modern culture gives women two unhelpful responses: 1️⃣ Over-sympathy culture — "Lower your standards," "Be gentle," "Just accept yourself." 2️⃣ Shame culture — "Good mothers never snap," "You ruined everything," "This is abuse." Both extremes keep you stuck. One says nothing is your responsibility. The other says everything is your fault. There is a third way. Today we'll learn how to use guilt as guidance, not punishment — a built-in compass that brings you back to your values, your leadership, and the mother and woman you actually want to be. Inside the session: • The two cultural traps keeping women stuck • How shame sabotages growth • How guilt can act like a GPS pulling you back on track • How to come back from a mistake with clarity and strength • How to repair, reset, and realign — without perfection 👇 Ready to built true mental toughness and be strong against anything life has to throw at you - go deep with me inside ALCHEMIZE https://hifam.com/alchemize  

STOP THE SPIRAL — Day 3: The "Too Much" Spiral Why does everything feel like it's too much? Too many needs, too many tabs open, too many things only YOU seem to remember? Today we're breaking the "mental load myth" wide open — the belief that you have no choice, everything depends on you, and the only options are Superwoman or Bitter Martyr. No one chained you to the kitchen sink. You do have choices — even if they're imperfect ones. In this workshop, I'll show you: • why unconscious yeses create overload • how culture trained women to see themselves as victims of the mental load • why resentment grows when you believe you have "no choice" • how to reclaim your agency with clearer choices, boundaries, and leadership • how to delegate without guilt and simplify without shame You'll leave today feeling lighter, clearer, and more in control of your energy and your home. 👉 Want the worksheet for today? Get it by joining the challenge - hifam.com/stopthespiral or comment Clarity on one of my Instagram reels and I'll DM to you (https://www.instagram.com/hifamlife/) 👉 Want to go deeper with me inside ALCHEMIZE? Go to https://hifam.com/alchemize for the details and early-bird pricing 

STOP THE SPIRAL — Training 2: The Let-Down Spiral Today we're tackling one of the biggest sources of resentment in motherhood: when the people you love let you down. Your partner forgets something, your child ignores a request, your in-law makes a comment—and suddenly you're spiraling. In this workshop, I'll show you why nagging doesn't work, why doing everything yourself makes things worse, and why neither option actually solves the problem. You'll learn the third way: keeping your standards high while lowering resentment and raising collaboration. We'll talk about the cultural trap of labeling everyone "toxic," the real reason you feel alone in your home, and how to step into the leadership your family needs—without becoming the angry parent or the exhausted martyr. Download the Day 2 worksheet here: 👉 https://go.hifam.com/c/s/mME/O2oU/s/vxol/WwE/6CwaV0/Totlv62SC/P/P/kP Want to go deeper with me inside ALCHEMIZE, my full transformation program for moms? 👉 https://hifam.com/alchemize Join the FULL&FREE Stop The Spiral challenge - https://hifam.com/stopthespiral  

Feeling triggered, tense, or like you're one tiny thing away from snapping? You're not alone — and you're not broken. You're simply at capacity. In this special episode, I'll show you how to stretch that capacity so triggers stop owning you. In this workshop, you'll learn: ✨ Why traditional "stop, drop, and breathe" advice doesn't work when you're overwhelmed ✨ The real reason you spiral — and how to interrupt it fast ✨ The ONE shift that instantly increases emotional capacity ✨ 3 practical, evidence-backed tools you can use TODAY ✨ How to stay calm, clear, and in control — even when kids, partners, and life get a lot This isn't years of therapy. This isn't spiritual bypassing. This is capacity-building — the skill every modern parent needs. 👉 If today's workshop resonates, join me inside Alchemize — my 3-month program to become truly unshakeable. Learn more + join here: https://hifam.com/alchemize Join the FULL Stop The Spiral Experience (PDFs and all) - https://hifam.com/stopthespiral

Are adults really "messing up the world"… or have we created the safest, richest, healthiest era in human history? In this episode, I debunk the doom narrative that's crushing our kids' resilience — and explain why gratitude, realism, and strength are the real gifts we should be giving the next generation. We'll talk about: - Why the narrative of "adults messed up the world" is false - How doom, pessimism, and fear harm children's mental health - The real purpose of childhood (hint: it's NOT endless happiness) - How to raise kids who are grateful, strong, antifragile, and capable - Why perspective, responsibility, and resilience protect mental health - What we should tell our kids about the world — and their role in it If you want your home to be a place of strength, gratitude, and resilience — not doom or fragility — join The Studio. https://hifam.com/studio Dive deeper with me: Get personalized, high-level guidance to transform your family, marriage, and mindset — work with me privately. 👉 https://hifam.com/privatecoaching Turn your marriage into a true partnership — learn the skills inside Married-U. 👉 https://married-u.com Become the woman who can't be shaken by the world around her — step into Alchemize. 👉 https://hifam.com/alchemize 

Everyone is being pushed to pick a side — feminist or traditional, gentle or strict, self-care or self-sacrifice. In this episode, I'm breaking down why the BEST marriages, families, and kids are built by people who learn to hold two truths at once, instead of joining an extreme camp. Dive deeper with me: Get personalized, high-level guidance to transform your family, marriage, and mindset — work with me privately. 👉 https://hifam.com/privatecoaching Become the calm, confident leader your family needs — join The Studio. 👉 https://hifam.com/studio Turn your marriage into a true partnership — learn the skills inside Married-U. 👉 https://married-u.com Become the woman who can't be shaken by the world around her — step into Alchemize. 👉 https://hifam.com/alchemize  

Your child was resilient… so why does it feel like it all disappeared overnight? In this livestream, I'm answering three real questions from our HiFam community — and each one touches a deep, modern pain point for parents. We're diving into: 💪 1. When your child suddenly loses their grit Why an injury or big stressor can make kids regress (and why it's normal), how resilience actually rebuilds through exposure — not protection, what "10% empathy, 90% coaching" looks like in real life, and how to speak to your child's identity so they grow into the strong, capable person you know they can be. ❤️ 2. When you're doing EVERYTHING in the marriage What to do when the childcare agreement you made before kids didn't match reality, how to renegotiate roles in a way that actually works, Why competence requires space (yes, even if it gets messy), Your real options when you're burning out, and how to see clearly whether to stay, restructure — or leave. 👵 3. When your in-laws cause more stress than support How to protect your children without creating unnecessary drama, How to set boundaries that are firm but gracious,  Why respecting elders still matters in modern parenting, and how to de-escalate the emotional tornado that extended family can sometimes bring. If you've ever thought: "Why is my kid falling apart over every little thing?" "I can't keep carrying this household alone." or "My in-laws make everything harder — what do I DO?" …this episode is for you. 👇 Listen until the end for the mindset shifts that can help you lead your family with strength, clarity, and calm — even in imperfect circumstances.  Dive deeper with me: Get personalized, high-level guidance to transform your family, marriage, and mindset — work with me privately. 👉 https://hifam.com/privatecoaching Become the calm, confident leader your family needs — join The Studio. 👉 https://hifam.com/studio Turn your marriage into a true partnership — learn the skills inside Married-U. 👉 https://married-u.com Become the woman who can't be shaken by the world around her — step into Alchemize. 👉 https://hifam.com/alchemize   

When something bad happens to my kids — a fight with a friend, a missed goal, a tough day — I don't rush to fix it. I'm actually… a little happy. 😬 Because this is where resilience is built. In the low-stakes moments of childhood, our kids get to practice what life will demand later: courage, recovery, and perspective. This episode explores the idea of antifragility — the mindset that what doesn't kill us (or our kids) can truly make us stronger. When we stop over-protecting and start coaching, we raise children who can handle life with confidence. If you've ever wondered how to toughen your kids without hardening them — this one's for you. Raise Kids who CAN handle the world - https://hifam.com/studio Private Coaching - https://hifam.com/coaching

Modern dating is broken — and no one wants to admit why. We traded commitment for convenience, love for validation, and real connection for swipes on a screen. In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly how the dating system collapsed — and what we can teach our sons and daughters to do instead. 💔 Why modern dating leaves everyone lonelier 🔥 How women became the gatekeepers of sex and men the gatekeepers of marriage ⚖️ Why hypergamy (dating "up") broke the balance between men and women 💡 What to do differently — and how to find love that actually lasts If you've ever asked yourself "Where did all the good men go?" or "Why can't people commit anymore?" — this video will make everything click. ❤️ Subscribe for weekly conversations on love, family, and real relationships that work.  Resources mentioned: Married-U - https://married-u.com