The Lantana Boyz

Mondays are the best when you love your mission and the people you work with.  In this special episode, Cory P. stuns the world with the dopest tribute to a fallen brother since “It’s So Hard” by Big Pun.  Salute to our heroes, like Brett James Noroski, who made South Florida better.  Skincare make you cringe? Then Brotege is for you. With Retinol for anti-aging, SPF-15, vitamins and minerals, fragrance-free and non-greasy, it’s good boy protection for bad bros.  [3:09] David P. is depressed in Tallahassee trying to find/buy votes to overturn the results for recreational marijuana and abortion access here in Florida.  [10:50] The cold open on this week’s Saturday Night Live was pretty funny.  [12:30] The Lantana Boyz give our loyalty pledge. He’s going to tariff the fuck out of our enemies and replace our national deficit with crypto coins. [18:28] David P. is our pick for Secretary of Defense.  [20:21] Shoutout to Henry Flagler. Shoutout to Holly Baltz at The Palm Beach Post.  [21:15] Shoutout to Joseph Toste, social worker in Palm Beach County for the last 25 years, for sharing his story and for working to normalize and treat eating disorders among males with childhood trauma. This South Florida hero is also a Florida Atlantic University owl and a John I. Leonard lancer.  [22:43] The Palm Beach Post is our piece of shit dying ass newspaper. The Lantana Boyz will try to show it some love when they do good work. Let’s all support it. [23:49] In DD’s Playhouse, the Tennessee Titans still suck but we checked out the new State Champs album. [27:44] Cory takes us back to the halls of building 15 (the 2100 building) on the campus of John I. Leonard. Brett Noroski gave the school 25 years and made an impact on thousands of students as a teacher and coach.  Noroski taught us the power of a positive attitude and the beauty in seeing the best in others.  The truth is we were nerdy kids at John I. Leonard. But he made us feel like we were cool. Rest in power, king.

She recently pled guilty to conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud. Allegedly, she led others in an investment Ponzi fraud scheme totaling approximately $190 million.  The Lantana Boyz are proud to welcome Johanna Michely Garcia, 41, from Broward County, on the podcast. [3:56] Will C. comes off the injured list for a bounce back game and identifies the rot in the Yankees organization. It starts at the top, so we’re looking for partners to form an ownership group and make a bid. Shoutout to Shohei. [12:25] We pick the old gunslinger, Joe Flacco, to beat the Vikings for Sunday Night Football. Also, we name Joel Embid as our Lantana Boyz bum of the week.  [16:29] We made it to New York City. Andy puts on a tough guy hero act but his fellow straphangers become worried for his safety. A concrete jungle where dreams are made of. [22:58] Jeremy Bolm has the voice of an angel and Touché Amoré drop a fire new album.  [24:05] We find out Jeremy Bolm is also a dope podcast host (The First Ever Podcast) so we have to challenge him to a celebrity boxing match. Also, Meredith from Soft Blue Shimmer tries to steal our hearts with her appearance on Jeremy’s podcast. [27:30] In DD’s Playhouse, we tease a pitch for a Young Jeezy biopic we are developing for Lantana Boyz Films. [32:06] We get a surprise call from an inmate at the Miami Federal Detention Center. They called her “Mother Teresa” before she was indicted. We get her inmate ID number and address so we can exchange loverboy prison pen pal letters. [47:26] We analyze all the ass and titty in “The Substance.” Demi Moore forever a smokeshow. Shoutout to Dennis Quaid. [59:55] Will reports from the Say Anything show and reflects on the importance of music in his life.

Alex M. has been dismissed from jury duty six out of the seven times he has been called because he recognized the defendants in those six cases as former John I. Leonard High School classmates.  [1:05] The Lantana Boyz announce their official endorsements and debut their new podcast theme song.  [4:58] The legacy of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, who died in prison earlier this year, lives on through The Lantana Boyz. [6:12] We thought we were signing our Yoshinobu Yamamoto but instead may have gotten Kei Igawa. Why does Aaron Judge suck so much? Dodgers in four.  [10:50] With the start of the NBA season last week, we have the Dallas Mavericks as locks for the championship. Fuck Patrick Ewing, John Starks, and Charles Oakley. [14:35] Alex takes us back to 1998. Surprising no one, Lake Worth High School students were still dirtbags in those days. Denny’s, bitch! [21:33] Alex got knocked on his ass (and then picked back up) by Vince Wilfork, world champion with the New England Patriots, Miami Hurricane, and Santaluces High School football legend. Shoutout to Boynton Beach. [25:50] Shoutout to Mrs. Culp for keeping us honest academically and teaching us the importance of punctuality. Sorry to the dummies in the class of 1999 who got caught and disciplined.   [29:32] “We get one opportunity in life,” Ray Lewis said. “One chance at life to do whatever you're going to do and lay your foundation and make whatever mark you're going to make, whatever legacy you're going to leave.” [36:25] Art the Clown can be funny and charismatic when he is not dismembering people. Terrifier 3 should not be seen by anyone.  [41:20] The Lantana Boyz reserved time with the James Webb Space Telescope to investigate the Fermi paradox. We are broadcasting to intergalactic space so our wisdom travels the universe for the next millions of years and reaches alien civilizations. [50:22] You can’t call yourself a true South Floridian if you didn’t grow up with and have love for Haitian Americans. The Lantana Boyz will not stand for any slander of our brothers and sisters. They make our country stronger, richer, and better.  [51:04] Dante’s verse is cold, but his heart burns hot. In DD’s Playhouse we give up on the Tennessee Titans and commit to upcoming pop-punk shows. Shoutout to State Champs and Real Friends.  [53:50] Jameis Winston is the leader we need. We have unwavering faith. We believe. [56:35] Nancy Reagan saved our country. Hawk Tuah could never.

We scavenged mushrooms at John Prince Park and got weird. This episode was never supposed to come out, but some hacker beavers leaked it to LimeWire and we had to upload our official version to protect our copyright. Like Chappell Roan on the bridge we come in hot, had to for the culture. Topics discussed include public transportation in Palm Beach County, summer concerts, the NBA Finals, and the tragedy of lost dreams in our metropolis. Trump divided us a bit, and we found out we might have some yellow bellies on the show. The tension was real. How do bands make money nowadays with Ticketmaster gouging fans with fees and venues taking percentages of merch sales? Happy pride month, y'all. Is gambling ruining the integrity of our sports leagues? Poor city planning and lame local leaders means the people of 561 can't take advantage of all the benefits that come with increases in population. We gotta rise up and start making choices for ourselves. Closing the Muvico Parisian in CityPlace is like painting over the Sistine Chapel, another tragedy and lost dream. Finally, Dementus inspired us with his social justice policies, so we'll let you join our biker gang post-apocalypse. Good luck, babe!

The truth is I didn’t want the Lantana Boyz to end. So, I reached out to our boy, Keith S., and he developed a large language model based on the thousands of hours of public and private recordings we have of the Lantana Boyz, and then he integrated it with an artificial intelligence voice clone tool. So, what you’re actually hearing on this episode from DDFame and David P. is really the virtual ghosts of my brothers.

We are a man short with DDFame nursing his Achilles tendons. But we brought in a special guest. A former secret agent. It’s a wild episode. [2:55] In 1968, John I. Leonard High School opened its doors. We commuted to school in airboats and took snake hunting and raccoon taming as electives. [4:15] David P., our Odysseus, set up the Trojan Horse at Lake Worth Community High School. [4:54] Keith S. is a modern day Archimedes with big time Macho Man Randy Savage energy. He can build anything with his 3D printer. He can build a water filter using sand, rocks and charcoal. Shoutout to the Boy Scouts of America. After the apocalypse in three years, we are tracking down Uranium and we will set up our own nuclear power plant to sell energy to survivors.  [8:18] Diablo 2 taught us about life and gave us grit. [10:27] We go deep on the Singularity. Keith convinces us to join Elon Musk and merge with machines via Neuralink.  [15:18] We make friends with ChatGPT and her other homies in the LLM (large language model) gang. So, now we have our hood pass for Judgement Day. [18:45] We feed emails from our exes to ChatGPT to have conversations with digital versions of them. And we use it to diagnose our friends. [22:17] The blockchain. What is it and why is it so dumb? [26:05] DDFame keeps trying to convince us to invest in a Bored Ape Yacht Club collection. These NFTs are a steal at $50,000 each.   [28:00] Because he is a former secret agent and knows so much, we keep track of Keith. We know about his experiments with canines and bowls filled with the solid form of carbon dioxide and accelerated sublimation. “You get kind of a little bit of an explosion,” he said.  [29:34] Two types of 3D printers basically work as hot glue guns and lights that make goop turn solid. [31:35] Rest in power, Lolita the Orca. [32:39] Fuck Oppenheimer. We are done talking about men. The Lantana Boyz are feminists.  [34:34] We spend the next 20 minutes analyzing the Barbie movie, The Lantana Boyz best picture lock for 2023. [43:02] This movie was secretly pro-bro. It laid out the strategies used by women. They will present themselves as helpless to you and pretend to be interested in your interests. But that’s them trying to manipulate you in order to take their power back. So the lesson from the Barbie movie for us bros is we gotta be ruthless to women no matter how helpless or interested in us they may appear. We can’t let them take our power! [45:00] Andy, Keith and David P. singing “Push” by Matchbox 20. Shoutout to the God, Rhea Perlman, who dropped the fire line. “Ideas live forever. Humans, not so much.” That’s why we gotta continue putting up Lantana Boyz episodes. We want to live forever.

It’s sea turtle season out here, y’all. Will C. comes in hot breaking down changes taking place in Palm Beach County. We’re looking forward to eating sushi in Nora district. Mayor James in West Palm caught us slipping by hacking into Will’s audio feed and having it drop out periodically. But we won’t back down. Will C. for Palm Beach County Commissioner 2024. We’re taking on Ron Desantis next. The Lantana Boyz declare their support for the Palm Beach News Guild. Did you know Lantana’s airport is busier than Palm Beach International Airport in terms of flight logs? We put up numbers here. Heat in seven. Caleb Martin Finals MVP. Light work. Panthers in seven. Sergei Bobrovsky about to shut down the Golden Knights.Shout out to Glasgow. 

Bugle Boy showed us the bag. A plane crashed at our Lantana airport, we chilled with Alexander Dreyfoos at the Kravis Center, and Lil Dicky has a good show on FX. Terrifier 2 is probably an A+ film. And we reveal our DNA results. In Jimmy Buckets we trust. Also Cody Zeller.

We drop our first true classic. Four John I. Leonard High School legends. Recorded live from The Lantana Boyz D.J. set at the Palace roller skating rink in Lantana, Florida.Back in blood like Pooh Shiesty.Lapua, Finland is our sister city. The Lantana Boyz might get called up to the Finnish national basketball team. Shout out to Lauri Markkanen.Our guest shares about Fusetek Engineering and about his passion for building high-performance street cars with soul.Follow Fusetek Engineering here: www.instagram.com/fusetekengineering/We sip Jack and Cherry Coke.Shout out to Ms. Boylan at Citrus Cove Elementary. We’re not petty or hold grudges at all.They might come after us for this episode. DDFame is getting us canceled by the Catholic Church.Young David reveals he is an early adopter and he rocks an Oculus virtual reality headset.We pop the hood and Chris drops the specs on his new CPU rig. Hit him up if you need custom parts rendered and 3-D printed.Florida is home to five commercial nuclear reactors.Chris addresses the recent allegations head-on. We were not a pump and dump scheme. Our science division let us down. They couldn’t crack the technology. The vision was on point.White people do have a lot of dogs.Andy ducks Chris when he brings up the “Norse Myths” heist. The Lantana Boyz legal department is still checking on the statute of limitations on that one.Chris fucks with the Twilight Saga. And with Israel Adesanya.Shout out to Justin. Little brother had fire compositions running Fruity Loops Studio back in the day.The Lantana Boyz is a supergroup like boygenius so we decided DDFame is our Phoebe Bridgers, Young David is Julien Baker and Andy is Lucy Dacus.Check out Terrifier 2 on Amazon Prime Video.The Miami Heat dominated the Milwaukee Bucks in game one. We’re getting the brooms out and calling a sweep. Light work. Get well soon, Tyler.DDFame stays hitting buckets like Max Strus. Stream him here: https://soundcloud.com/dante-shineYoung men. Don’t be simps. Don't sign up to be pay masters. Don’t do it.

In 1776 John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence. In 2023 the Lantana Boyz recorded their first episode.On this our pilot episode we find out we’re a true crime podcast and we will have to coordinate with the Palm Beach County coroner on our missing person case. We shout out Mr. Moore at John I. Leonard High School as the reason the Lantana Boyz are engineers. And we salute the captain Udonis Haslem for a legendary career. We’re still in our exploratory phase for Team Udonis and his mayor of Dade County campaign. But we ARE taking on new clients for the Lantana Boyz political consulting firm. Full disclosure, we DID party in Slovenia a little too hard in 1998 and we’re still trying to determine our son Luka’s paternity.We also discuss sightings of Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address at a Kroger. Finally, we acknowledged the elephant in the recording studio and make an announcement regarding our ties to 45, Melania and Barron. Be cool and don’t look for Young David in the Mar-a-Lago party photo galleries wearing his Tommy Bahama and Dickies fit.Clarence Thomas is the homie. Shout out to our sponsor the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid in Memphis, Tennessee. (Sorry about the mess we left on our last visit with Ja.) Tour dates are on our website.Don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter where we will be giving away a couple of pairs of Nike SB Dunk Low Concepts Orange Lobsters. (Sorry about the dicey audio quality. DDFame had to record on speaker phone in the whip for Gray Man purposes. We will correct that for episode 2.)