The Effects of Butterflies

You are not a separate, sovereign self floating through the world making your own choices in a vacuum. You are a node in a web — and that isn't a loss of freedom, it's the thing that was supposed to make you feel less alone the whole time.Ximena used to believe safety lived in answers. In clarity, in certainty, in having the right conclusion to point to. Then she started asking what is real, how do we know, and how do we live, and found that the ground kept moving no matter how hard she gripped it.The perspective shift that changed everything for her wasn't finding better answers. It was learning to live inside the questions themselves. Discovering that the "separate individual" she'd been sold her whole life was never actually real.Today’s conversation is a masterclass in thinking differently and wearing incredibly light philosophical robes. Ones that blend with the modern era instead of distract from it. It's about tentacular ontology and why the octopus is a better model for the self than the eagle. It's about why your nervous system craves false dichotomies (and who benefits from selling them to you). And it's about why the most radical thing you can do with a large language model (AI chatbot), a scary headline, or a philosophical crisis might be to just ask it a better question.Together, Ximena and Ashley dive into:Why Ximena feels like she's returned to her "caterpillar stage" after reaching her butterfly era — and why she loves it thereThe shift from intellectualizing feelings to actually locating them in the body, taste, and colorPhenomenology: why experiencing something comes before naming or categorizing itDonna Haraway's tentacular thinking — the octopus versus the eagle as two totally different ways of relating to realitySubstance ontology vs. relational ontology, and why the difference reshapes your entire ethicsThe illusion of the sovereign, separate self and why "freedom" as individualism might actually just be loneliness in disguiseSympoiesis — the idea that nothing makes itself, everything is made togetherWhy false dichotomies feel so relieving to the nervous system (and why that relief is manufactured, not earned)A real debate on whether large language models can actually "think," and why Ximena says thinking is an ecological, embodied processThe masks of domination falling — and the discomfort and possibility that live in that tensionCuriosity as a daily practice: how noticing something as small as a change in the smell of the air can become a philosophical practiceWhy boredom is a lost art, and why productivity culture is actively eroding your capacity to ask good questionsXimena's two offerings: Rooted Impact, a 13-week philosophical formation program, and Mythos, a seasonal deep-dive into humanity's greatest storiesThe dream Ximena is finally ready to build in real lifeWork with Ximena:Join Rooted Impact — a 13 week philosophical formation program for people who sense that the dominant story isn't working and want the intellectual tools to understand why, and the imagination to think past it. Philosophy that meets Mysticism. Now enrolling for September 2026.Mythos — a seasonal exploration, a lens for understanding the world, yourself, and the complexity of human experience delivered through some of the most powerful stories ever told.

The universe isn't going to hand you your good sh*t — you have to flirt with it first. After all, the cosmos and magick love consent.Leah Vanderveldt knows this better than anyone.She spent years hiding her love of the spotlight behind her Cancer rising and Taurus moon, insisting she wasn't "really" a Leo despite a sun and stellium that insisted otherwise. It took becoming a mother of two, moving to a city that sat directly on her Venus line, and a purple wig at Mardi Gras to finally coax the Leo out of her — the shining, the joy, the refusal to dim herself for anyone else's comfort. Now that Jupiter has freshly moved into Leo and a rare planetary configuration called the Barbault Basket is lighting up the sky this July (the 19th to the 21st), Leah confirms none of us are exempt from being asked to do the same.Today’s conversation on the Effects of Butterflies is about what happens when you stop performing your light for other people and start shining because it's genuinely who you are. You’ll discover how your favorite things are clues on a treasure hunt back to yourself, learn how style is a form of self-trust, how to use the cosmos to practice glamour magick, and why the astrology of the summer of 2026 is asking every single one of us to stop clinging to old, waterlogged patterns and structure, and start rebuilding our Dream World from the ashes. 🐦‍🔥Leah and Ashley dive into:Why "flirting with your astrology" is a reciprocal relationship, not a passive one you wait around forLeah's Leo stellium and years of resisting it in favor of "safer" placementsHow having a Leo-rising, Leo-moon daughter (and living on her Venus line in New Orleans) finally made her Leo undeniableThe difference between performing your shine for others and shining because it's who you actually areUsing the astrological natal chart as a multi-dimensional style tool — glamour magic, adornment, and self-expression as a way inThe "love list" practice: mapping the media, art, and obsessions that reveal who you already areThe astrology of this summer: Jupiter into Leo, the nodes shifting into Leo/Aquarius, and the rare Barbault Basket configuration exact the week of July 19–21André Barbault prediction of a "reblooming period" after years of collective tumultWhy the South Node in Leo is about to drain everything that's exhausting your spirit and not worth your energyDe-patriarchizing astrology: asteroid goddesses, postcolonial astrology, and reclaiming ancient egalitarian goddess worshipAshley's tarot-inspired poem from 2016 — proof that the things we're obsessed with as kids are breadcrumbs back to ourselvesPractical ways to retrain your brain to notice joy and play, even if you don't yet know what "favorite" feels likeThe dream Leah is finally ready to have the audacity to chaseThis episode is for:The Leo (or Leo-placement-haver) who's spent years insisting "I'm not like that" about their own chartThe person who keeps waiting for the universe to hand them their breakthrough instead of engaging with itAnyone exhausted by burnout culture who wants permission to build a life around what's actually funThe one who dims their own shine to make other people comfortable and is ready to stopWhere you can hang out with Leah:Instagram: @leah.vanderveldtSubstack (Cosmic Style): leahvanderveldt.substack.comAbout Leah:Leah Vanderveldt is an author, astrologer, cosmic stylist, and tarot creator. Guiding the astro-curious to understand their natural gifts and challenges through a cosmic lens, she uses the natal chart as a map for their next chapter — rooted in self-trust and self-expression. As the founder of the Substack and podcast Cosmic Style and author of Seasonal Power Tarot, Magical Self-Care Tarot, Magical Self-Care for Everyday Life, and three cookbooks, Leah bridges the spiritual to the material world and uses the mystical to unlock your most iconic self IRL.

Your voice. Your creative expression. Your power. They were never too much. You were never too much. No, you were just forced exiled. And now it's time to reclaim all of it.Ayu spent years as a magazine editor quietly starving her own creativity while she fed everyone else's words. Then, she gave birth to her son, and the floodgates within her broke open. Grief, rage, joy. All of it poured out of her through her art. Her fanfics, her collages, and her 2am creative downloads she can't sleep through if she tried. Through much trial, error, and many unexpected masterpieces, Ayu has learned that lying to herself about what she needed had gutted her voice, and that getting it back wasn't a one-time decision — it was a resurrection she had to choose, over and over again.Todays conversation is about understanding creativity as the way back to yourself. We discuss about the myth of the sirens who lost to the muses and got exiled for it, the difference between creating to solve problems and creating to be honest, and why reclaiming your voice isn't a nice-to-have self-care practice — it's how you come back to life.We dive into:Why Ayu's Virgo sun and rising paired with a Taurus moon shape how she creates (and what a "night chart" has to do with it)Using astrology as a literal creative medium — not just a system to memorize, but a color palette to paint withWhat it actually means to co-create with your tools, your process, and your own creativity as its own entityThe 2am creative downloads that show up the second you're trying to sleep (and why she gets up and writes them down anyway)How postpartum cracked her wide open and became the portal back to her own voiceThe difference between creative problem-solving and honest self-expression — and why only one of those gets socially rewarded"Everything is fanfic": why even Romeo and Juliet is fan fiction of a Greek mythThe forgotten myth of the sirens losing a creative contest to the muses, getting humiliated, and exiledBecoming "holographic": the archetype of seeing every angle of yourself instead of folding into one flat versionWhy choosing honesty makes you responsible for whatever you find (and why most of us avoid it for exactly that reason)Self-abandonment versus self-resurrection, and the discomfort of finally choosing yourselfHow expanding your tolerance for discomfort literally expands your capacity to hold hard thingsAshley's "erotic mystic" creative archetype reading and what it unlocked for herAyu's new offering, Holographic — a 10-week creative playground for people ready to come back for their own voiceThis episode is for:The multi-passionate creative who's been told to pick one lane and stay in it, but keeps getting pulled toward five mediums at onceThe new parent whose voice got buried under survival mode and doesn't know how to dig it back outThe one who's been quietly lying to themselves about a situation because being honest would mean actually having to do something about itThe creative who makes something, hates it immediately, and needs permission to let it be ugly anyway — and keep goingFree resource from Ayu:How to Resource Yourself for Creative Work Using Your Birth ChartJoin:HOLOGRAPHIC — a 10-week creative playground where you'll become the prolific creative you know you're meant to beWhere you can hang out with Ayu:Instagram: @astralpathwaysSubstack: ayutmi.substack.comPodcast: Listen on SpotifyAbout Ayu:Ayu is an astrologer and guide for multi-passionate creatives. Formerly a magazine editor, her work centers on empowering creatives to live from their boldest, most honest creative expression — perfectionism be damned — and actually execute and finish the work they care about most. During the few occasions she gets some alone time (MILF probz), she enjoys writing smutty fanfic and making zines about void-walking.

Ashley was a junior in college, living in a dorm room, with a profound feeling of being lost, and a deeper knowing that her whole life was about to transform. She needed guidance. So her mother handed her a phone number and said, I think you should talk to this psychic my friend Susan loves. Jeannine. Eight and a half years later, Ashley is still following the thread that call started.Jeannine Kim has been offering healing wisdom and guidance to clients worldwide since 1999 — back when there was no YouTube, no Instagram, and being this openly intuitive still carried real risk. She's an intuitive reader, 5D astrologer, medium, and past life guide who lives in Santa Fe and has no social media by design. You have to want to find her. And once you do, she rewires your psyche.This conversation isn't about manifesting your way into a prettier life. It's about what regulation actually means, why the void is where the real spiritual work happens, and how ego death and transformation are the same experience — just two sides of the same coin. Light and shadow.In today’s convo, we dive into:The four bodies (spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical) — and why the one you neglect most is where all your trauma livesWhy you can cram dysregulation into spiritual vernacular and call it “healing” without actually changing anything of substance and still feeling stuckThe lighthouse metaphor: why the most compassionate thing you can do during a storm is stay on the cliff and shine as brightly as possibleRegulation as the most organic, ever-changing truth, and what it means to actually respond to all four bodies instead of just your chosen defaultThe void as the edge of real growth and why the seasoned yogi asks to go further while the newbie wants to know when they’ll be donePast lives, karma, and the chef-and-tasting-the-meal theory of why we incarnate of Earth at allFate vs. free will: destiny as a delicate dance, and why you can only ever do 100% of your 50%Saturn return as freedom, not fear — you are the author of your own life now, the old contracts are completeWhy "being human is the most spiritual thing you can do" — and what it means to stop trying to transcend your humanity and start inhabiting itThe Aquarian Age shift: why you can't hide your frequency anymore, and why that's actually the best newsAshley's 388-day bingo streak, mirror work, and the moment she stopped trying to climb out of the darkness and let herself be liftedThis episode is for:The one who has been doing "The Work™️" for years — the retreats, the ceremonies, the readings — and is starting to wonder why they keep having to come back to the same edgesThe one approaching their Saturn Return who has been told to brace for impact, and needs someone to tell them the truth: you are utterly freeThe one who suspects their most spiritual practice isn't meditation or breathwork — it's the daily, unglamorous, relentless choice to show up to their own lifeThe one who has been waiting for a PDF printout from the universe that tells them exactly when it all comes together, and is finally ready to make peace with the fact that it doesn't work that wayWork with Jeannine:Use code BUTTERFLIES22 for 22% off any full reading → jeanninekim.comAbout Jeannine:BIO Since 1999, Jeannine has been offering healing wisdom and guidance to clients worldwide as an Intuitive Reader, 5D Astrologer, Medium, H.H.P., Yogi, Teacher, & writer. Her main passion is supporting others in their evolutionary journey with deep, transformation into INtuitive BEing through Past Life discovery and sustainable WholeSelf practices.

What if the reason you can't look at your bank account isn't laziness — it's a wound that's been centuries in the making?Emily Ersher came to do Ashley's taxes. They ended up talking for two hours about shadow work, eagle spirit guides circling outside the window, and why the thing that makes you flinch every time wealth gets close might be the exact same thing that got women killed for centuries.Emily is a CPA and tax strategist who believes money is taboo for a reason — and that reason goes a lot deeper than spreadsheets. She works with creatives, business owners, and neurodivergent humans across the US to turn taxes into a tool for empowerment, and she does it by holding both the strategic and the energetic in the same breath. She's also deeply intuitive, endlessly well-read, and the kind of person who sees ten eagles outside her window during your accounting call and knows exactly what they mean.This isn't a financial literacy episode. It's a reckoning with every story you inherited about who gets to be good with money — and a permission slip to start building wealth from your whole, weird, witchy, fully integrated self.We dive into:Why money might be more taboo than sex (and what that reveals about the systems we inherited)The safety prerequisite: why we literally cannot absorb new information, new wealth, or new connection until we feel safe enough to receive itGoing from birthday candle to bonfire — and why a bigger light comes with bigger responsibility (and why that's actually the good news)The witch wound and the money wound as the same wound: the centuries-long history of being punished, silenced, and burned for being seenHow hyper-independence shows up in your QuickBooks — and what to do about itThe soul of money: why every dollar isn't the same and why intention is what actually runs the showMaslow's hierarchy, the indigenous wisdom of the Siksika (Blackfoot) Nation in Alberta, Canada at its actual foundation, and why community is a survival need — not a luxuryWhat it looks like to cast a literal spell on your taxes (yes, really)The trading economy question: what would reciprocity look like if money wasn't always the easy button?VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Association) and the resources that actually close the gap for early-stage business ownersWhy overspending and spending shame are often symptoms of the same woundBuilding a sustainable bonfire: why connection and collaboration are the kindling your business actually needsThis episode is for:The creative or business owner who hasn't opened their banking app in three weeks and genuinely cannot tell you whyThe one who grew up being "too much" — too loud, too energetic, too divergent — and somewhere along the way decided that's why they can't be trusted with moneyThe neurodivergent human who's been trying to manage their finances the "right" way and keeps running into shame instead of systemsThe one who knows they want to build wealth but something in their body flinches every time they get close — and is finally ready to find out what that flinch is actually aboutConnect with Emily:Instagram: @thecreativecpa_Work with Emily:Join the listDM Emily directly for tax strategy and intuitive financial coachingAbout Emily:Emily is a CPA and tax strategist focused on making wealth accessible to all, especially women & LGBTQ+ individuals. She works with creative individuals and business owners across the US to turn taxes into a tool for empowerment by making the system work for you. Known for her ability to simplify complex financial concepts, she helps clients understand the strategic and energetic components that contribute to financial success. Alongside her tax work, she also coaches individuals and business owners to uncover the root of what is holding them back from their full potential through an intuitive human-first lens.

Chelsea had a full-body panic attack on a Chicago bus commute home. Not because something was wrong — because everything was fine. Stable job, great coworkers, paycheck, health insurance. And that's what terrified her. This was going to be the rest of her life. Ten days of PTO a year. Forever.Until she couldn't anymore.She quit the job, moved to Australia, started living like the movie credits were about to roll. She started asking: “if I'm going to die someday and watch my life flash before my eyes, is this movie good enough?” And more importantly: “What will people say about me when I'm an angel flying around?”Now, Chelsea Riffe is a cultural philosopher, pitch coach, and host of In My Non-Expert Opinion, a Top 1% podcast obsessed with the bigger questions: what's this all FOR? She lives like the movie credits are about to roll. She asks "what will they say about me when I'm an angel flying around?" And she recently decided she might become an actress because why the fuck not.This conversation is about reclaiming the parts of yourself you've been told are "too much." It's about the deathbed practice — living like you're watching your life flash before your eyes and asking if the movie is good enough. It's about manufacturing luck, shooting your shot, and finally admitting: you want to be the main character. And you're allowed.We dive into:The bus breakdown that changed everything — realizing "this is my life forever" and deciding it absolutely could not beHow Chelsea was supposed to be a twin (and what the psychic told her mom about why he chose to go back)The deathbed practice: living like you're watching your life flash before your eyes and asking "is this movie good enough?"Love, safety, and belonging as the three core human needs — and why we conform to get them (even when it kills us)The lighthouse metaphor and why Ashley was told to never jump in the water"Curiosity might be what kills the cat, but curiosity is also the reason it has nine lives"How Heated Rivalry (yes, the book) gave Chelsea permission to be enthusiastically, intensely herself againFriends as books on a bookshelf — some you're reading right now, some live in the top corner you haven't touched in yearsConnect with Chelsea Riffe:Instagram: @chelseariffeWebsite: chelseariffe.comListen to Chelsea:Notes From the New World PodcastThe Art of the Ask PodcastWork with Chelsea:SUPERNOVA: The room to develop your school of thought through philosophical conversation, synthesis, and making meaning of everything that interests youPitch Perfect (Spring 2026 | Doors open through May 8th): The Visibility Glow-Up for Deep Thinkers, Creators, and Multi-Hyphenates readyto enter new rooms, stand on bigger stages and shape culture through their message.About Chelsea:Chelsea Riffe is the host of the hit podcast Notes From the New World, a Top 1% show known for asking the bigger questions around the cultural zeitgeist, our inner worlds, and what's this all FOR? She's a Cultural Philosopher, obsessed with understanding how we think, and how seemingly unrelated things relate HARD (her favorite threads to pull are how reality TV is the ultimate mirror for our psyches—don't get her started).

She closed her books for the first time in nine years. Not because she had to, but because her Higher Self was screaming that it was time. Full availability suddenly gone, just space to write and dissolve and rebuild. This is what it looks like when you Feng Shui your entire life so the next version of you has room to breathe.Kate Van Horn is a tarot reader, spiritual mentor, Feng Shui consultant, and author of The Inner Tarot. She's in her cocoon phase right now — that primordial goo moment where you dissolve everything you've been so something truer can emerge. And in this conversation with Ashley, she's sharing what it actually means to create a home that matches the frequency of who you're becoming.This isn't about minimalism or perfection. It's about curating a space where your Higher Self feels so at home that she can guide you to paths you don't even see yet. It's about turning your apartment into a sanctuary, your routine into ritual, and your stuff into a conversation with the life you're calling in.We dive into:Why Kate intentionally closed her books for readings for the first time in 9 years (and what emerged in that space)Feng Shui as energy architecture: making sure your manifestations can move through your space as easily as your body can"Would your higher self still own this?" as the decluttering filter that changes everythingThe waffle maker story and why Sunday rituals become sacred without you even tryingBelonging as being in a state of longing — you know something belongs to you when you yearn for itFinding your signatures: the same cleanser for 7 years, the red dress you bought before you were ready, expired pantry goods feeding you less life forceCreating a home that holds both your hunger for more and your need for sanctuary — how to nest when you're someone who always wants the next thingThis episode is for:The ones ready to Feng Shui their entire life so their higher self has room to moveThe ones who've been in the same chapter for years and can feel the expiration date approaching (and are ready to honor it)The ones living in temporary spaces but ready to make them feel like home anywayThe ones whose higher self keeps whispering "slow down" and are finally ready to listenThe ones who find meaning in everything and want to learn how to love fewer things more intentionallyThe ones ready to turn their space into a reflection of who they're becoming, not who they've beenThe ones who know they're ready to nest, to claim sanctuary, to build a home their future self will walk into and say "thank god I'm here"----Connect with Kate Van Horn:Instagram: @kate.van.hornTikTok: @kate.vanhornSubstack: Intuitive LivingWork with Kate:Book a ReadingHome Energy Blueprint---About Kate:Kate Van Horn is an intuitive reader, author, and sacred space consultant focused on the relationship between people and the spaces they inhabit. Her work sits at the intersection of intuition, creativity, and the home as a living, responsive system. She's moved more than twenty times as an adult, and those transitions deeply shaped her understanding of space as something that mirrors, supports, and sometimes challenges us. Alongside that, she's been practicing intuitive work for over a decade, blending psychic perception with grounded tools like Feng Shui, ritual, and somatic awareness. Writing has always been part of her path — she's the author of The Inner Tarot and currently working on her second book, which explores the home as a healing and co-creative force.

I used to think I was broken.Not in a dramatic way — more in a quiet, maddening way. Like, why do I keep ending up here? Different year, different person, different city — same feeling. Same pattern. Same crash out.And then I heard a quote by Carl Jung that changed everything: "Until you make your unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate."That was the moment I stopped calling it fate and started calling it what it actually was — a cycle I didn't know I was in.The Cycle of Transformation is a framework I discovered three years ago when my neurodivergent pattern-matching brain started seeing the same four stages echoed literally everywhere — in the phases of the moon, the seasons, the butterfly's metamorphosis, the menstrual cycle, ancient archetypes, numerology. When something shows up that many times across that many different systems, that's not coincidence. That's truth.And when you know which stage you're in? You stop white-knuckling through your life and start actually living it.Go with the flow? Duh, bestie. You've got your intuition, the tool you need to navigate it.We're diving into:The four stages of the Cycle of Transformation — the Void, the Growth, the Peak, and the Learning — and what each one actually feels like from the insideWhy the ancient Greek word for butterfly is psyche — which also means soul — and what that tells us about why we're hereThe difference between looping and spiraling, and how intention and intuition are what turn one into the otherWhere I am right now in my own cycle across love, money, business, and my move to New York — and how I'm using this framework to break patterns I've been stuck in for yearsHow to figure out what stage you're in and what to do once you knowWhy surrender actually speeds everything upThis episode is for you if:You're tired of feeling like life is happening to you. You keep ending up in the same situation with different people and different circumstances and you cannot figure out why. You want a framework that gives you clarity without taking away the mystery. You're ready to stop calling it fate and start calling it what it is — a cycle you can finally work with.The next cohort of Metamorphosis — the six-step process to go from being your own #1 hater to your very best friend in just 12-weeks— begins March 17th. DM me or email me at [email protected] if you want in.

A Rotten Fridge, Clogged Pipes, and My Initiation into New York CityI five months in near-total silence on my grandparents' home in Topeka, Kansas trusting myself and embracing the quiet nothingness of the in-between. After being sent a blaring sign from The Universe that it was time to leave Denver and move to New York City, I knew I needed to deepen my relationship to myself and nervous system before I did. Then, it was time. Every step of the process of finding a new apartment and planning my trip across the country, I checked-in with my body and waited until it felt warm, light, and gooey before I said yes.And then I pulled up to my new Brooklyn apartment, walked through the door, and the place was trashed. Literally.This is my first ever solo episode. I'm pulling back the curtain on the last year of my life. The breakup that broke seriously engrained pattern. The profound boredom that cracked everything open. The decision to stop running away from places and start walking intentionally toward them. And what it actually means to be in the egg phase of the cycle of transformation instead of the cocoon — because they are not the same thing, and the distinction changes everything.In today’s episode, we’ll dive into:The "What Would My Favorite Self Do?" experiment that started as a response to a breakup and became a complete life overhaulWhy I went to Kansas before I went to New York — and why that was never the consolation prizeThe four stages of the transformation cycle and how they map onto the lunar cycle, the seasons, the menstrual cycle, and the butterflyWhat the void actually feels like from the inside (hint: 50 shades of gray, not in the fun way... but also kind of in the fun way)The difference between running away from a place and intentionally walking toward oneHow a rotten fridge, three plumbers, and six hours with Kevin became a spiritual initiationWhat it means to check your body for a "yes" — and what warm, light, and gooey actually feels likeWhy my inner child panicked when I crossed back into New York — and how I handled itThe ventilator metaphor — and what it actually costs to take yourself off life supportSaturn into Aries, synchronicities in the street, and the weekend that made the decision for meWhy talking about the move would have taken me out of it — and what I chose insteadThe caterpillar phase: what it looks like to consume, grow, and stretch without rippingHow Magnetic Habits Bingo kept me grounded through 305 days of complete upheavalThis episode is for:The ones who are mid-void and needed someone to tell them what's actually happeningThe ones who have run away from every place they've ever lived and are starting to wonder if it's themThe ones whose body is screaming "not like this, not this fast" even when the decision is rightThe ones who have been calling it "the cocoon" when really they've been in the egg this whole timeThe ones whose external world is currently a complete disaster and are desperately trying to find the metaphorThe ones who are ready to stop settling for relationships and cities and versions of themselves they've already outgrownThe ones who want permission to do the big thing slowlyAnd anyone who’s nosy and just wants to know why I went dark for 3+ weeks on social mediaReady to go through your own transformation?The waitlist for Metamorphosis — my 12-week group immersion for self-alchemy — is now open! Over three-months starting in March, you'll meet and build unbreakable self-loyalty with your Inner Self, Younger Self, Shadow Self, Higher Self, and Future Self (and Spirit Guides) so you can stop suffering your own worst enemy and start thriving as your own best friend. There are only 13 spots. Want in? Join the waitlist here: ashleybyjones.com/metamorphosisOr DM me directly to learn more.Wanna come yap with me about the cycle of transformation or moving insanity?Instagram: @ashley.b.jonesWebsite: ashleybyjones.com

What if play isn't just for kids? What if it's the practice that keeps you tethered to yourself when everything falls apart?Rachael Renae spent over a decade as a civil engineer, building what looked like a stable life while her creative soul screamed to get out. Then her dad got sick. She moved home. He passed away six months later. And suddenly, she couldn't fake it anymore. So, she quit her corporate job, started making weird paper mache sculptures taller than herself, and discovered that play isn't optional when everything falls apart — it's survival.This conversation is about what happens when grief cracks you open and, instead of trying to put yourself back together the same way, you let yourself become something new.We dive into:Why matching your mug to your outfit is an act of survival during hard timesPlay and creativity as a tether to your authentic self when everything else is falling apartHow grief expands your capacity for joy (not just pain)The spell book her mom found and the shame of having your creativity discoveredClosing her stationery business because monetizing joy killed the magicBeing terrible at stained glass and why that's perfect informationJealousy as a roadmap to what you actually wantWhy creativity is human nature—from field hollers to concentration camp artNaming your inner child and becoming your own best friendBuilding trust with yourself through tiny daily choices that compound"It should feel like the book"—her framework for relationships that feel resistance-freeThe difference between making art to sell vs. making art because you're obsessedThis episode is for: anyone navigating grief or loss, people who dismiss play as frivolous, burnt-out corporate workers who feel that crunchy agitation of "something's not right," anyone who thinks they're "not creative," the ones who need permission to be gloriously bad at things, anyone protecting their joy from monetization, people rebuilding their life from scratch and terrified they're doing it wrong.Free resources from Rachael:Silly Questions for Creative Connection - Deepen your relationships through play80+ Play Ideas + Exercise - Discover your version of playRachael's book Prioritize Play comes out June 2026The Juice Box community: Rachael's year-long creative container where you pick a play priority each season and actually follow through. Opens for new members April 2026.Where to find Rachael:Instagram: @rachaelrenae Website: rachaelrenae.comRachael Renae is an artist and creativity hype gal! I help creatives use play as a tool to overcoming blocks, connecting with themselves, and living their big, juicy lives!