Cushions in Captivity

It's music to your ears - Part 2 of our latest Dr. Schimmel session. Prepare your Lexapro prescription pad and a stiff drink, because some bitches are about to get TOLD.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Ladder: Get a free 7-day trial with no credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join at ladder.fit/BITCHBIBLEThe Absorption Company: Use code BITCHBIBLE at check out for up to 35% off your first order at www.AbsorbMore.comQuince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLERevolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartnerLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie's taking two weeks off waiting for demon seed #2, so Dr. Schimmel is in session and she is not holding back. Tune into some bitches getting burnt on how they should live their lives (there is only one person who can judge you in this lifetime, and it's Jackie) and ST. CLAIR FUCKING CALLS IN. It's a Dr. Schimmel miracle. Part one of two, bc we're classy like that.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comTonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.comThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Sign up and get 20% off at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLEBoll & Branch: Use code bitchbible to get 25% plus free shipping and extended returns at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbibleQuince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

38 weeks and Jackie is on the home stretch. She’s tootling, she’s baking, she’s redecorating, and doing anything but sitting still. Bring on the epidural!Thanks for supporting this week's sponsor:Freestyle: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at www.Freestyle.world/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is fresh from seeing the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, explains dark energy, and Clyde motorboats Heather McMahan.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Freestyle: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at www.Freestyle.world/BIBLEOSEA: Use code JACKIE to get 10% off your first order at www.OSEAMalibu.comSKIMS: Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartnerRevolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartnerLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Week 36 and shit's getting real. Jackie is working the Schimmel Swindle on Clyde, has plans to redecorate the hospital's birthing suite, and could be weeks or maybe hours from giving birth. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is experiencing PTSD flashbacks to last year’s backyard flood and discusses Selma Blair’s biting habit, flashes her hot gardener, and crafts the perfect awkward email.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:CBDistillery: Use code BITCHBIBLE for 25% off at www.CBDistillery.comLadder: Get a free 7-day trial with no credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join at ladder.fit/BITCHBIBLELola Blankets: Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 40% off select products at www.Lolablankets.comRitual: Save 25% on your first month and get a free gift with any starter set at www.Ritual.com/BIBLEVinted: Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller feesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie returns from London bloated and bitchier than ever. She recaps Real Housewives drama, her trip abroad, a diagnosis of OCD and gives awful life advice. Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLENutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comSKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces at www.skims.com/bibleQuince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Week 33 and Jackie is looking in-credible; the jaw is sharp, she’s glowing, and dreaming of a scarf-clad, post-baby jaunt around Paris, but she’ll settle for a frozen lemonade and a Wetzel’s pretzel.Thanks for supporting this week’s sponsor:Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at www.Article.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie addresses some nonsense internet backlash, plans the perfect glam lewk, and questions Kelly Clarkson’s sanity.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Tonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.comJones Road Beauty: Use code BITCHBIBLE at www.JonesRoadBeauty.com to get a free gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #adNutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comRevolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartnerLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 weeks and Jackie isn’t slowing down at all. She’s shopping for fresh trees, reveling in the attention from her purple bandage, and enjoying the holy trinity of See’s Candy: Dark Chocolate Scotchmallows, Dark Chocolate Bordeaux, and Dark Raspberry Creams.Thanks for supporting this week’s sponsor:Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartnerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.