Tell Me What It's Like

When a Marine mom flew her son home from Camp Lejeune for Thanksgiving, the ticket cost $900. She wondered how all of his friends were affording the flights. His answer: “Mom, no one goes home.” Maureen Byrne decided that this was a problem she could do something about. She ultimately created a way for junior enlisted troops to earn their way home: they volunteer 25 hours in their new community, and Miles for Military buys their flight home.Executive director Windle Jarvis joins Tell Me What It’s Like to explain why so many young service members can’t afford the trip, why the volunteer component matters for morale, and what it’s like to help bring so many young service members home to their families."They're building community as they volunteer, which is an important piece of that, and then they get to go home and see their families."Hear Windle talk about:How a $900 Thanksgiving flight led one mom to start a nonprofitWhat most civilians don’t understand about young enlisted service membersHow 25 hours of volunteering earns a ticket home, and where service members can volunteerHow volunteering improves morale by getting service members out of the barracks and into the communityWhat it’s like to be at the airport when a service member comes home to familyMentioned in this episode:Miles for MilitaryDo you run a group near a military base that could use volunteers? Email [email protected] USO, American Red Cross and Habitat for Humanity, some of the most popular places Miles for Military flyers volunteerSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

Hilary Topper had never been athletic. She’d spent years building her PR firm and raising kids, and didn’t make a lot of time for herself. At 48, she decided something had to change. She joined a gym for the first time, then started running, and a few years later, she signed up for her first triathlon. Today she coaches people just like her."You're never too old. You're never too overweight ... You can do this."Hear Hilary talk about:Joining a gym for the first time at 48, and asking a stranger how to use the treadmillThe Google Glass assignment that led to her first triathlonLearning to swim as an adult, and the nose plugs that changed everythingCrossing her first triathlon finish line in tearsWhy consistency is the hardest part, and how she removes the barriersHow her blog led her to become a certified coachOpen water panic attacks, race cutoffs, and life at the back of the packWhy, after everything, she still feels she has something to proveMentioned in this episode:Hilary’s blog, A Triathlete’s DiaryHer books: From Couch Potato to Endurance Athlete, Unlocking the Triathlon, Unlocking the Open Water Swim WeREndurance, her triathlon team, run/walk group and Masters swim clubHilary Topper On Air, her podcastJeff Galloway’s Run Walk Run method U.S. Masters SwimmingRoad Runners Club of America (RRCA)Support This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

When Kim Bantle was nine, her mother sat her down and asked her to picture where a lost earring had gone. Kim found it in seconds by seeing it in her mind. Her mother kept testing her for years, but never told her why. Kim had an uncanny intuition, one that three generations of women before her had, but it was something the family learned to hide. So Kim kept her experiences mostly to herself for decades, until she started writing about them and found that most people she talked to had a story of their own."I don’t think it’s mystical. I don’t think my skills are anything but a personality trait."– Kim Bantle on Tell Me What It’s LikeHear Kim discuss:Finding her mother’s lost earring at age nine, and her mother’s shocked reactionThe high-school dean who kept asking, “Why do you know this?”Growing up in a family where reading minds was a gameHow she tells the difference between an ordinary dream and one she believes is a messageSensing loved ones who have passed, and why she doesn’t always tell peopleA name she kept hearing that turned out to belong to her friend’s motherWhy she believes so many people hide experiences like theseMentioned in this episode:Confessions of a Closeted Clairvoyant by Kim S. BantleKim’s website

When Jane Fischer’s daughter Suzy was born in 1974, doctors said she would never walk, talk, or learn. Suzy spent the next five decades proving them wrong. It wasn’t until Suzy was in her late 30s that the family finally learned the name for what she’d been living with all along: Joubert syndrome, a rare genetic disorder. Today, Suzy works in a preschool and lives on her own with support. In this episode, Jane discusses what it was like to raise a daughter with disabilities, push past the doctors’ predictions, and help Suzy build a life of her own.“ Predictions are not promises. Nobody knows your child like you."- Jane Fischer on Tell Me What It’s LikeHear Jane talk about:The day Suzy was born, and the doctors’ advice to send her awayFinding help for a child with disabilities before GoogleHow raising Suzy tested her marriageShadowing Suzy at school, and the difference between inclusion and toleranceWhy doctors call Suzy a medical miracleHow a decades-long mystery was finally named Joubert syndromeWhat she’d go back and tell herself in that hospital roomMentioned in this episode:If You Knew Suzy: Pushing Past the Boundaries of Never by Jane FischerJoubert syndromeECLC of New JerseyMaplebrook SchoolJespy HouseSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

For more than 25 years, Dr. Tiffany Troso-Sandoval has treated women with breast and gynecological cancers. Throughout her practice, she’s realized that women going through cancer need more than treatment. They need to understand their care, stay organized, and have the right support around them so they can be active participants in their own care. In this episode, she talks about why she became an oncologist, what it’s really like on the doctor’s side of the room, and how she’s helping patients feel empowered."I call this becoming the CEO of your cancer care. You need to be the one in charge."Hear Dr. Troso discuss:How watching her mother’s frustration with her grandmother’s doctors shaped her pathWalking out of the LSAT and choosing medical school insteadWhat it’s like to deliver hard news, and how she handles the emotional weightHow cancer treatment has changed over 25 years, and is like “night and day”The day she spent her lunch hour organizing a patient’s records into a binder – and whyWhy telling a friend or family member to “call me if you need anything” doesn’t work, and a better way patients can ask for helpMentioned in this episode:Calming the Cancer Chaos by Dr. Tiffany Troso-SandovalDr. Troso's websiteMemorial Sloan Kettering Cancer CenterSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

Dr. Winston Vickers has spent decades studying one of America's big cats, the mountain lion. He's tracked them, collared them, and even studied their poop, all to help Southern California's mountain lions survive. A veterinarian who went back to school mid-career to study big cats, he shares what it's like to come face to face with a mountain lion, why highways are pushing some populations toward extinction, and why killing one lion doesn't solve the problem.“There was concern that mountain lions in some parts of Southern California were making it harder for these bighorns to recover. So that's why we started putting collars on the mountain lions."Hear Dr. Vickers discuss:How he went back to school to study mountain lions after a 20 year vet careerHow you trap a mountain lion (it involves roadkill)The diseases threatening them, from avian flu to feline leukemiaHow one freeway split a population and led to dangerous inbreedingWhat scat-sniffing dogs reveal about what lions eatWhat it was like to collar his first mountain lionClose encounters with mountain lionsWhy "you can't kill your way out of the problem"Why there seem to be more lions in the suburbsWhy mountain lions keep whole ecosystems in balanceMentioned in this episode:Learn more about the California Mountain Lion Project at UC Davis Listen to A Path for Mountain Lions by The Nature Conservancy, featuring Dr. VickersView the mountain lion trackerAbout Dr. Vickers:Dr. T. Winston Vickers is a wildlife research veterinarian with the UC Davis Wildlife Health Center and the Institute for Wildlife Studies. For 20 years he directed or co-directed mountain lion studies across California, and he has studied mountain lions and other wildlife for 23 years. His work focuses on why mountain lions die, how they move, road crossings, genetics, and how they interact with people."Just the sheer muscle that's there when you feel their bodies is just amazing. "- Dr. Winston Vickers on Tell Me What It’s Like

In the Season 2 finale, military spouse Kandi Hart joins the show to discuss what she's learned about building community after decades of moves. She and Stacy talk about what it takes to thrive in every new place, including the mindset you need, the tactics that can work, and how sometimes community starts with just one person."I will immediately walk up to somebody, and I will ask them about themselves. I'll say, 'Tell me about your family.'"Hear Kandi talk about:Why Twentynine Palms — a base most people dread — became a place her whole family asked to go back toThe party mistake that humbled her and changed how she thinks about inclusivityHow she went from a shy kindergartner who cried every morning to the first person to grab the microphone in any roomWhy she thinks showing up at someone's door still matters more than any Facebook groupHow to build your community when you're not in a military bubbleMentioned in this episode:Twentynine Palms, CaliforniaSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

Charles Grimes has spent nearly 30 years as a business psychologist, helping leaders understand themselves so they could lead others well. But he’s also been trying to understand himself, with therapy, courses, and numerous self-assessment tools. But it wasn't until he was 65 — when a friend made a casual, throwaway comment — that the missing piece finally clicked into place. He had Asperger's. The diagnosis didn't feel like bad news. It felt like freedom."It's okay to be Charles. And that's something which I hadn't felt. And I'm 65. This is very late in life to suddenly feel it's okay to be me."Hear Charles talk about:What his friend said that set the whole thing in motion and why he didn't dismiss itWhat "masking" is, and the exhausting work of hiding in plain sight for decadesThe conductor who walked into rehearsal and transformed a mediocre choir without saying a word - and what this has to do with leadershipWhat fell into place when he looked back at his life through the new lens of his diagnosisLearning about love and connection later in life — and why he thinks it's never too lateMentioned in this episode:A Question of Leadership by Charles GrimesThe National Autistic Society — where Charles went for his formal assessmentSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

When soccer coach Scott Martin contracted a rare illness that took his hands and parts of his feet, it took the way he coached the game as well as his confidence. What followed was years of depression, discrimination, and self-doubt, until he finally found his way back to the game that he loves."I was faking it. I was doing a pretty darn good job of faking me being me. But everyone else avoided it too. We never talked about it."Hear Scott talk about:What it was like to wake up from a month-long coma and learn what had happened to his bodyWhy he skipped past the emotional reality of his illness and what that cost himThe discrimination he faced trying to return to coachingWhat it was like to address his disability with his new team of 12-year-oldsHow he rebuilt his confidence, and what playing from the heart really meansMentioned in this episode:Play From Your Heart by Scott MartinThe Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-RossSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media

Dr. Yemi Famuyiwa knew she wanted to be a doctor long before she knew what kind. It was during her third-year rotations at Emory that the answer became obvious. She'd had “a roaring blast” in her OBGYN rotation and couldn't imagine anything else. She went on to specialize in reproductive endocrinology and infertility, and has spent decades helping people navigate one of the most emotional experiences a person or couple can face. In this episode, she talks about what she's noticed inside that world — the science, the cultural pressures that leave women suffering in silence, and the grief that has no name.Nullam id diam metus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Nullam interdum est erat, rutrum tristique ipsum cursus a." I hope I never get over it. It's just such a magical moment."Hear Dr. Famuyiwa talk about:What it was like to guide her first baby into the world and how she hopes she never gets over itThe cultural pressure on women in paternalistic societies to conceive, and what can happen when they can'tWhy men suffer in silence too, and how infertility can challenge a marriageAmbiguous loss: the grief that never ends and has no body to weep overWhy infertility is rising worldwide — and why delaying childbearing is only part of the storyWhat she wishes people understood about their own biology before it's too lateMentioned in this episode:The Quest for Fertility by Dr. Yemi FamuyiwaDr. Nanette Wenger, cardiologist at Emory, who influenced her during medical schoolGrady Memorial Hospital, AtlantaEmory University School of MedicineSupport This Show:Follow Tell Me What It’s Like in your favorite podcast appLeave a rating & review — it helps others find the showShare the episode and tag @RaineMediaCo on social media