Finding Your Authentic Voice in Public Speaking with Aleya Harris

Have you ever wondered if you’re missing the clues that are pointing you to your true purpose? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we tackle one of the most important questions anyone can ask: What if your unique design isn’t something you have to invent, but something that’s already waiting to be discovered in the signals of everyday life? I’m Tim Newman, and today we dig deep into the art and science of finding and living your purpose, with the help of a truly fascinating guest, Caleb Matthews. Caleb Matthews is the founder of the C Link, a renowned speaker in the spiritual strategy space, and the creator of the SSB method (spirit, soul, and body). With two decades of experience helping thousands decode the hidden signals in their dreams, personal history, and daily frustrations, Caleb Matthews brings insight from new age festivals to meeting rooms with government leaders, and his radio broadcasts have reached millions across Africa. In our conversation, we unpack what it really means to have a “DNA of Design,” why so many people struggle to interpret their own purpose, and the crucial role that our spirit, not just our mind or body, plays in guiding us. Caleb Matthews shares his own remarkable journey from practicing speeches with stuffed animals to speaking at a Kenyan orphanage at 18, which was a life-altering lesson in gratitude and the power of perspective. We explore why Western culture often sidelines the spiritual side of ourselves, and how reawakening it can be a powerful anchor, especially in times of crisis. We also get very practical: how can you start recognizing everyday signals and “dots” that point toward your calling? Caleb Matthews offers simple strategies, including the importance of writing down and reflecting on your dreams which, he argues, are not just random brain static, but coded messages from your deeper self (or even the divine). Some of the things we covered in this episode include: Caleb Matthews’s unique method for discovering purpose through spirit, soul, and body The transformative experience of speaking in Africa and what it taught about gratitude How Western society tends to diminish the role of spirit in personal growth and why that matters The essential practice of recognizing and interpreting dreams as guides for your life Specific reasons why most people miss the clues to their purpose by rushing from A to Z The importance of staying connected to awe, wonder, and childlike curiosity in adulthood The dangers of stuffing down conscience and emotion and how to open up again How who you surround yourself with (the five people you see most) shapes your identity and fulfillment The “three Cs” of construct, conform, and contract in self-development Practical tips on dream journaling and the first question to ask when interpreting your dreams The significance of safeguarding your senses in a noisy, social media-driven world Lessons learned from speaking across more than a dozen countries: every audience is different, yet fundamentally the same If you’ve ever wondered where your purpose is hiding or how to listen to your life for clues you might be missing this episode will give you both inspiration and clear steps to move forward. Plus, Caleb Matthews shares how you can take his free “DNA of Design” quiz at calebmatthews.net to get started on your own journey toward discovering your design type. I hope this conversation challenges and empowers you to look deeper, listen closer, and take the next step in living out your unique calling. Connect with Caleb: Website: https://www.calebmatthews.net   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theseelink/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSeeLink   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/caleb.matthews.334/   X: https://x.com/TheSeeLink Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if the classic “sandwich method” for delivering feedback (compliment, criticism, compliment) actually works, or if it’s causing more harm than good? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling a management myth that’s been passed down for generations, but quietly erodes trust and sours relationships in the workplace. I’m Tim Newman, a former college professor turned communication coach, and I’ve seen countless managers, including myself, reach for this tried-and-true technique in hopes of softening the sting of tough feedback. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: our teams see it coming from a mile away, and the result isn’t motivation or clarity, it's confusion, distrust, and a growing reluctance to believe any positive feedback we share. In this episode, I dig into why the sandwich method fails everyone involved, and introduce you to Tim Elmore’s ALAG framework, a modern, honest, and far more effective way to have those hard conversations without burning trust in the process. While there’s no guest today, I’ll share a real-world story from my own experience to show you how this framework works in practice. We’ll talk about why the sandwich method was created to protect managers’ comfort more than employees’ growth, and how it ends up poisoning praise, confusing communication, and eroding the very trust managers hope to build. Then, I’ll walk you step-by-step through the ALAG framework: Ask, Listen, Empathize, and Guide. Each step is designed to break the pattern of defensiveness, invite genuine conversation, and move your team forward with both compassion and clarity. In this episode, you’ll hear: A breakdown of what actually happens inside a “sandwich” feedback conversation—and why it so often backfires The invisible ways trust is eroded conversation by conversation, even if you don’t see it happening Why opening with curiosity instead of conclusions instantly changes the tone and outcome How to practice genuine active listening instead of debating or rehearsing your next response The critical but overlooked role of empathy why it’s not agreement, and how to avoid compassion fatigue as a manager The power of the word “and” in balancing empathy with accountability How to gently guide toward action and clarity instead of shoving someone toward your standards A real-life example of helping a student navigate a tough decision with grace, using ALAG instead of empty praise Why being a better leader is about building character, not just managing discomfort Finally, I’ll challenge you to try the ALAG approach the next time you need to have a difficult conversation, and explain why real growth happens when you risk showing up with presence and honesty. Remember, we’re not aiming for perfection; we’re aiming for progress, every single day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can technically brilliant professionals turn their expertise into influence and success in the workplace? That's the question we dive into on this episode of Speaking with Confidence. I’m Tim Newman, a former college professor who’s become a communication coach, and I know from experience that technical skills will get you hired, but communication is what gets you noticed and promoted. We see too many talented people missing out on opportunities because they haven’t developed the soft skills that build trust and win work. That's why I sat down with Ken Harms, an advisor, speaker, and author of "Building Trust, Winning Work," to unpack exactly why soft skills are the critical difference maker. Ken brings over 40 years of experience observing technically skilled folks stumble not because of lack of knowledge, but because of an inability to connect, communicate, and build authentic relationships. In our discussion, we tackle the persistent gap in our education system that leaves graduates with excellent technical training but few tools for powerful interaction. Ken shares research from the Carnegie Institute: a staggering 85% of future earnings stem from your ability to communicate and lead rather than strictly from technical know-how. We go deep on the root causes of this soft skills gap, from education to workplace culture, and why so many people resist improvement, even when feedback could dramatically accelerate their careers. Ken talks through his experience with "doer-seller" models in industries like construction explaining why public speaking, storytelling, and, importantly, listening with confidence must be learned and practiced intentionally, not left to chance. We cover actionable ways to prepare for meetings and interviews, showing that confidence is really about preparation and client focus, not just charisma. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Why technical skills alone aren’t enough to succeed and get promoted The education system’s failure to teach communication, public speaking, or relationship-building Doer-seller dynamics in architecture, engineering, and construction fields The difference between speaking with confidence and listening with confidence, including Ken’s WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) framework How to prepare for meetings and client interactions by researching and planning thoughtful questions Reframing sales as service and why this matters to younger generations The enduring power of face-to-face meetings and practical ways to create trust digitally Likability, Competence, and Trust: the three professional hurdles and why likability is often the biggest obstacle for new grads The intersection (and collision) between authenticity and professionalism Real talk about workplace attire, first impressions, and why they still matter The importance of teamwork, collaboration, and how group skills learned in sports or competitions apply to the workplace Why mentorship matters and how both young professionals and seasoned leaders must meet each other halfway Ken’s actionable advice for technically brilliant but invisible young professionals: get training, practice relentlessly, and seek out opportunities to shine By the end of this conversation, you’ll have a full picture of how soft skills can elevate your technical expertise so you can speak, serve, sell, and lead with real impact. Connect with Ken: Website: https://kenharms.com   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenneth-harms-12b56629/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why some presentations are instantly forgettable while others stay with you for weeks, even months? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dig into the surprising science and strategies behind messages that stick, and how the secret might just be your story, not your slides. I’m Tim Newman, recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I want to shatter a misconception: that confident speakers are just born with it. In reality, the best speakers aren’t those with loud personalities or endless credentials; they’re the ones who know how to use storytelling to connect, build trust, and inspire action. I’m unpacking the game-changing research on narrative, why audiences remember stories 22 times more than facts, and the counterintuitive way to earn authority (hint: it’s not by leading with your résumé). I pull back the curtain on the real mechanics of storytelling, the “show, don’t tell” principle, and why sharing your mistakes can make you instantly more credible. You’ll hear about my own most embarrassing moment on stage, the neuroscience behind “neural coupling,” and practical tips you can use right away to transform your next presentation. I walk you through step by step on how to rewrite your stories for maximum impact, avoid the biggest storytelling mistakes, and end with actionable takeaways that tie your stories back to your main message. Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode: Why telling stories activates your audience’s entire brain—and why that matters The research that proves stories build trust and authority faster than credentials Why sharing a personal setback in your first 60 seconds is often the smartest move The difference between telling and showing, with concrete examples How to audit and edit your stories to make them vivid and memorable The one sentence every story needs to tie back to your main point Three mistakes most speakers make when telling stories—and how to fix them A weekly challenge: how to find, craft, and deliver a powerful story from your own life Whether you’re selling, teaching, leading, or just want to show up more powerfully in everyday conversations, this episode will give you the blueprint for becoming a more memorable, trusted, and confident speaker. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world. Let's start building that confidence, one real story at a time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much of what’s holding you back is really about your emotional habits rather than your skills? On today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we get into the heart of emotional discipline, exploring the powerful concept of emotional sobriety and how mastering your emotions is a key to excelling not just in communication, but in every area of life. I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Andrea Vitz, a leading expert on emotional sobriety, best-selling author, keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, and president and co-founder of Lifted Academy. Andrea brings years of experience as a chiropractor and coach and is acclaimed for her work helping thousands break free from destructive emotional habits. She’s known for her revolutionary “reps-based” approach to training emotional maturity and has two new leadership books coming out this year. We dive deep into the real distinction between high performance and emotional maturity, how so many of us in high-pressure roles perform at a high level on the outside but remain stuck in immature emotional patterns on the inside. Andrea shares her own story of reaching a turning point at age 30 and realizing that true growth required retraining the way she responded emotionally rather than just pushing through or pretending to be above it all. We also unpack: The difference between your ‘why’ and your purpose, and why knowing both is crucial for impact and fulfillment How to create a culture of emotional safety at home and at work The science of emotional habits and why you can feel powerless to change until you intervene at the cellular level The self-centeredness trap and how to break the cycle of taking everything personally Why true leadership starts with internal mastery regardless of your age or status How to accelerate maturity in young people, and why emotional skills matter as much as academic achievement Andrea’s method for uncovering your emotional triggers and developing emotional composure Real strategies for forgiveness, letting go of the past, and reclaiming wasted energy The role of value and investment in personal transformation—why people who pay for change get the best results Personal stories of failure, growth, and using our biggest struggles to serve others Continuous improvement: our own blind spots, financial worth, and ongoing growth as coaches and humans If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling into the same conflicts, why you can’t let go of certain feelings, or how to truly “show up” with confidence in every area of your life, this episode packs in hard-won wisdom, practical tools, and personal vulnerability. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how emotional discipline can change everything—and a roadmap for getting started. Join me and Dr. Andrea Vitz for a revealing, actionable conversation that has the power to completely reframe your approach to communication, relationships, and self-mastery. Connect with Andrea: Website: https://liftedacademy.com/home Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drandreavitz   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreavitz/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourlevelheadeddoc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why so many people quit when they’re so close to breaking through not because they lack talent, but because the journey feels so much harder than they expected? In this episode, we’re getting to the bottom of what I call the “Great Gap” , that tough stretch between being excited about a new goal and actually getting good at it. I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I’m diving into one of the biggest reasons talented people fail to achieve their ambitions: not understanding that the discomfort, setbacks, and resistance along the way are normal and even necessary for growth. I draw from both my experience as a communication coach and powerful research from Valerie Burton to offer actionable tools you can use the next time you feel like giving up. We break it all down today, why grit isn’t a personality trait you either have or you don’t, but a decision made in the moments just after you want to quit. I introduce two frameworks that will help you keep going even when the road ahead looks impossible: the “Internal Auditor” method to challenge your negative self-talk, and the “Next Play Mentality,” a tool you can use to keep moving when you’re tempted to get stuck in setbacks. Here’s what I cover in this episode: Why friction and discomfort are not signs you’re on the wrong path, but evidence that you’re growing, and why competent people often get addicted to comfort instead of progress. How to build your own “Internal Auditor” to examine the facts instead of falling into catastrophic thinking, using concrete drills to challenge the quitting words your brain offers up. Valerie Burton’s research on resilience and her practical shortcut for getting out of a negative spiral. The “Next Play Mentality” why elite athletes and top performers bounce back quickly, and how you can use a 60-second rule to turn setbacks into forward momentum. The biological reasons we get stuck analyzing failures and how taking immediate action sends a powerful message to your mind that you’re still in the game. Why you should aim for progress, not perfection, and how to finally survive the “Great Gap” between excitement and mastery. If you’re looking for real systems to keep you in the game when it gets tough, this episode is for you. Plus, I’ll tell you how to grab your free eBook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and share how you can register for my Formula for Public Speaking course. Let’s get started because your voice has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s really holding you back from communicating with confidence, and is it possible you’re not as stuck as you think? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the heart of what it means to show up authentically and powerfully in your business and your life. We’ll tackle the challenge so many solo business owners face: feeling overwhelmed, second-guessing their abilities, and getting bogged down by tasks that don’t truly move the needle. Today, I’m joined by Sarah Pitts, an international bestselling author and seasoned business development consultant with over 30 years of coaching experience. Sarah is known for helping solo entrepreneurs break free from overwhelm using her signature potent productivity method. She’s a deep thinker, a master strategist, and frankly, one of the most insightful communicators I know. During our conversation, Sarah and I explored why exceptionally capable people often fall into the trap of doing everything themselves. We discuss how it becomes difficult to identify what makes us truly great when we’re juggling so many roles, most of which, as Sarah points out, are actually full-time jobs for other people! We share our own stories of letting go, including the struggle with trust that comes from tough experiences with delegation and outsourcing. Sarah takes us into the concept of the “belief gap”, that space where a lack of self-trust not only makes us hesitant, but actually clouds the way others perceive us. We break down how people sense authenticity and confidence on a level that’s deeper than words, and why showing up with genuine self-trust is the key to connection and business growth. We get into the sticky topic of promoting our own work and how self-doubt can sabotage even the most brilliant strategies (including the stories behind writing our books and the awkwardness of self-promotion). Here’s what we cover in this episode: Why highly capable people get stuck doing everything themselves The dangers of the “belief gap” and how it undermines communication confidence How authenticity and trust are sensed more than spoken Facing self-doubt when promoting your own work or stepping onto a bigger stage The difference between “sounding different” and communicating true individuality Branding tips: letting your business reflect you, not the other way around Overthinking, procrastination, and why they signal a lack of message clarity Using AI as a tool (not a replacement) for genuine communication How to “proof hunt” your own experience and leverage it for authority—at any age Why collaboration beats competition every time If this episode resonated with you, check out Sarah’s book, “It’s Only Common Sense to You,” and remember building confidence starts with honoring the unique value you already possess. Let’s stop fixing ourselves and start trusting ourselves, together. Connect with Sarah: Website: https://sjpbusinessdevelopment.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahjpitts/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahjpittsuk/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SJPBusinessDevelopment Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahjpittsmt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like your best ideas get crushed before they have a chance, simply because you’re pitching to someone who’s already decided they’re the smartest person in the room? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into how to pitch your ideas to high-ego individuals and actually get them on your side. As a recovering college professor and communication coach, I’ve seen far too many great ideas die on the vine, not due to lack of quality, but because of the way they're presented to those who crave authority and validation. There’s an art to getting buy-in from someone who measures every suggestion against their own expertise. And in today’s episode, I break down the strategy you need not just to survive these conversations, but to truly shine. Today, I’m sharing the “stealth collaboration” techniques I’ve developed over years of navigating tough rooms, whether with C-suite executives, dominant clients, or anyone who gets defensive at the hint of a challenge. We walk through what makes a standard pitch fail miserably when ego is at stake, the psychology behind high-ego reactions, and most importantly, how to flip that script. Here’s what I cover in detail: Why walking into a room trying to prove your intelligence is the wrong move when egos are on alert The two basic options a finished pitch gives someone with a need for control and why they’ll almost always choose to shoot it down A real story from my early career of watching a flawless presentation unravel because it threatened someone’s status The concept of “psychological reconnaissance” and why you need to listen like you’re wrong (even when you know you’re right) The Strategic Question Dump: how to schedule a low-pressure chat, ask open-ended questions, and mine for the true priorities and pain points driving their decisions Using their own words and priorities as the foundation for your proposal How the “IKEA effect” from Harvard research helps you craft an intentionally unfinished prototype that invites their edits, so they’ll value the idea more How to invite criticism up front, turning would-be critics into collaborators The importance of mirroring their language, anchoring your summary in their exact phrasing, and letting them feel like the architect of the solution The “eighth grade simplicity test” to make sure your final proposal is simple and clear enough that the high-ego individual can confidently champion it to others Why making your intelligence invisible is the secret to building long-term influence and trust I close with practical homework: ban yourself from saying “I” in your next project pitch, ask one targeted question based on their input, present a draft with intentional gaps, and then let them build it with you. Progress, not perfection, is the goal and your path to becoming a powerful, persuasive communicator starts here. For more resources and your free eBook, visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it really mean to be emotionally intelligent, and how can mastering this skill transform not just your communication, but your entire experience of work and life? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into emotional intelligence beyond the buzzwords and the surface-level definitions, exploring what it looks like in the real world, how we grow it, and why it matters more than ever in today's evolving workplace. I'm Tim Newman, and in this episode, I had the privilege of welcoming Camilla Calberg to the show. Camilla is a business mentor, career coach, and a leader who has spent over 20 years driving transformation at places like BP, Shell, and IBM. Today, she’s on a mission to help women (and all professionals) who feel unseen, stuck, or overwhelmed, finally find inner peace and become trusted, emotionally intelligent advisors in their organizations. And she’s changing the way we think about leadership moving beyond the old KPIs-and-box-ticking mentality to a more soul-led, sustainable approach that truly supports people. In our conversation, Camilla and I jumped right into the realities of personal growth at work, especially the tough parts of those moments when things aren’t going according to plan and it feels like the storms are never ending. We discussed the huge difference between knowing about emotional intelligence in theory versus actually living it day-to-day: feeling those waves of emotion, noticing when your body is sending you nervous signals, and making real choices about how to show up in the moment. Here’s what we covered in this episode: The true, lived definition of emotional intelligence and how it shows up in real work situations Camilla’s personal journey from masking emotions to finding inner peace and the pivotal moments that changed her approach The problem with equating years or credentials with real growth and how to embody your learning How stress and emotional overload manifest in work conversations, and phrases to listen for Leadership and the art of saying “no” why boundaries are crucial for effectiveness and health The disconnect between Gen Z and business leaders, and actionable ways to bridge the gap using emotional intelligence Practical, immediately usable mindset shifts and conversational strategies for dealing with tough work situations and negative environments The importance of choosing your "tribe" and surrounding yourself with people who lift you up Whether you’re early in your career, leading teams, or navigating big life transitions, this episode will challenge you to rethink what confidence, emotional intelligence, and real leadership look like from the inside out. Plus, Camilla shares more resources for those who want to go deeper. Tune in to discover how being more intelligent with your emotions and less attached to your “mask” can transform not just your presence at work, but your overall sense of peace and purpose. Connect with Camilla: Website: https://www.camillacalberg.com   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/camillacalberg/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@camillacalberg    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been put on the spot in a meeting when your boss turns to you and asks, “What’s your take on this?” and your mind just goes blank? If you’ve ever struggled with this kind of pressure, you’re definitely not alone. In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle the uncomfortable but all-too-common experience of freezing up when you’re unexpectedly called upon, and I reveal a practical way to break through that mental block, fast. I open the show by getting real about what’s actually happening in those high-stakes moments. Freezing up isn’t a sign that you’re not smart, or that you don’t know your stuff, it's the result of cognitive overload. Suddenly, your brain’s juggling a hundred possibilities at once, and without a clear filter or system in place, panic sets in and clarity goes out the window. That’s why today I’m sharing a tool that’s been a game-changer for me and my clients: the ACES method. It’s a mental checklist that helps you cut through the noise and respond with confidence even when your heart’s pounding and your thoughts are scrambling for an exit. I’ll walk you through the ACES framework. We’ll dig into the real reasons smart people freeze, why the usual “just be confident” advice falls flat, and how using a simple, four-step mental scan can help you deliver sharp, focused answers in any conversation. Here’s what we cover in this episode: Why freezing doesn’t mean you’re unprepared and what’s actually going on in your brain when you’re put on the spot. The critical importance of filtering your response through “audience” focusing on who’s asking the question and what they actually need from you. The “one thing rule” for content zeroing in on the single most important piece of information instead of dumping everything you know. How to spot and align with hidden expectations behind the question, so you answer what’s really being asked. The power of having a go-to “script” structure point, reason, example, and action that helps your thoughts flow into a clear, compelling answer. Practical, low-pressure ways to practice ACES, so the process becomes automatic (even when you’re under pressure). A simple challenge to try the ACES method in your next everyday conversation to start building unstoppable communication muscle. If you’re ready to replace panic with process and show up in high-stakes moments with real clarity, this episode is for you. Don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to grab your free eBook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and check out the Forming for Public Speaking course. Let’s keep moving towards progress, not perfection. Your voice really can change the world! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices