The Hidden Alchemy of Grief with Lori Sase
What if grief isn’t something you need to get over, but something asking to be witnessed, tended, and held with compassion?In this deeply personal episode of The Small Victories Podcast, Pauline sits down with Lori “Sas” Sase—life coach, grief tender, creativity ally, and founder of A Sanctuary for the Soul—for a heartfelt conversation about changing our relationship with grief.After losing both of her parents to cancer just two months apart, Sas discovered firsthand what can happen when we try to swallow our grief, stay strong, and keep moving. Over time, suppressing her sorrow didn’t just numb her pain—it began to numb her ability to experience joy. Her own healing journey eventually taught her a different way: instead of pushing grief away, we can learn to meet it with warmth, tenderness, ritual, creativity, and connection.Pauline also shares vulnerably about her own experience working with Sas and how learning to give her grief space changed the way she navigated loss.Together, they explore grief not simply as pain, but as an expression of love—and even as a form of alchemy. When we bring warmth and compassion to our wounds rather than allowing them to harden inside us, what hurts can eventually become wisdom, empathy, connection, and even medicine we carry into the lives of others.This conversation is an invitation to stop judging yourself for how you grieve and discover that strength and tenderness don't have to be opposites. You can be strong and allow yourself to feel.Key TakeawaysGrief is not limited to death. We can grieve people, relationships, dreams, expectations, transitions, and the life we thought we were going to have.Grief is often an expression of love. Instead of seeing tears as weakness, we can recognize them as evidence that someone or something mattered deeply to us.Suppressing grief can also suppress joy. When we continually shut down painful emotions, we may unintentionally numb our capacity to experience the fuller spectrum of life.Grief needs warmth, not judgment. Compassion, tenderness, attention, and acceptance can help soften grief that has been pushed down or left unattended.You don't have to choose between strength and vulnerability. True strength can include allowing yourself to cry, feel, ask for support, and acknowledge what hurts.Grief needs a vessel. Giving grief boundaries—a trusted person, a 10-minute writing practice, a ritual, creative expression, or intentional time to feel—can help us enter our grief without believing we have to stay there forever.We were never meant to grieve entirely alone. Being witnessed and held in safe community can transform the experience of grief and remind us of our shared humanity.Your wounds can become medicine. When grief is met with compassion rather than avoidance, the experience can deepen our empathy, wisdom, creativity, and ability to connect with others.Joy and sorrow can coexist. Living fully doesn't require eliminating grief. Wholeness comes from making room for both the ascent of joy and the descent into the tender places of our humanity.Reflection QuestionsWhat grief have you been trying to “stay strong” through, and what might change if you gave yourself permission to tend it with compassion instead?What would it look like to create a safe vessel for your grief—through another person, writing, ritual, creativity, or simply giving yourself intentional time and space to feel?Connect with Lori “Sas” SaseWebsite: A Sanctuary for the Soul https://asanctuaryforthesoul.comInstagram: @lori_sasePodcast: The Imaginal Podcast
