Pushing Past Polite

As happens to a 42 year old, Laura hurt her shoulder doing absolutely nothing, and the Unisom she took 30+ hours ago to help her sleep off the pain is still lingering at the time of recording. :)Kori and Laura discuss the fatigue and weight of the every day amidst the chaos of the present historical moment. Thus we encourage you to check in on your people - even the hormone gremlins going through IVF. Change your mood by talking to your friends, have a getaway weekend, and binge a dumb show like Love is Blind. We learn a new word, “cloffice” and a new pronunciation for licorice (lick-ur-iss - I mean what?). And Kori admits to hating the taste of anise. Gift accordingly. ;)Keith discusses the federal workforce purges and the trio reflects on what a piece of trash you have to be to use your 2 year old son as a human shield, like Elon does. The U.S. Department of Education’s LinkedIn profile is now full of propaganda. Join Laura there any given weekday to antagonize injustice on their posts. Seek out information and community to support you at this time. Curate your feeds with folks who understand law, history, civil rights, immigration rules, epidemiology, education policy, vaccinations, etc.Amazon is selling ICE costumes, and people are impersonating federal officers to terrorize immigrant communities. Highly illegal by the way. And speaking of terror, how about that town hall meeting in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho? A woman was stripped of her free speech rights in a public forum inviting speech, and then she was assaulted and potentially kidnapped by unidentified private security at the direction of a political rival. The silence in that room was shocking - and this is how the Nazis took power in 30 days. We cannot comply ahead of time, but instead need to prepare ourselves for what we will do in circumstances like this. As Kori says, “If you stay ready, you ain't got to get ready.” How will YOU interrupt fascism when you have the chance? Practice and prepare now so you don’t live with regret for what you could have said and done. Lean in to your strengths and areas of expertise.Get prepared - and share this episode with people in your life that would benefit. Talk about it together! Give us a review on your podcast app, engage with our posts on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube so other folks can find us.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who needs to hear how to reclaim their power? Share this episode with people in your life that would benefit (pushingpastpolitepodcast.com) and talk about it together! Give us a review on your podcast app, engage with our posts on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube so other folks can find us. Dr. Lisa Mazzio, Clinical Psychologist and Owner of Watermark Psychological Services in Norfolk, Virginia joins us as our second ever pod guest! Not only has she known Laura for over 25 years (!!), but she specializes in providing therapy to folks in high control relationships. Does that sound like it meets our political moment or what?Lisa shares what she’s seeing broadly across her therapy sessions and shares that it feels very similar to counseling during covid where everyone felt like they were in a pressure cooker. Lisa reads a powerful quote from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and we see how the president is trying to strategically suspend us in terror. We discuss the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses folks are exhibiting and how bombardment limits freedom of thought. It makes you overwhelmed and it tempts you to get small. But, as Ezra Klein recently said in his podcast, “Don’t Believe Him!”Kori prompts us to investigate why some folks believed him in the first place, sharing that if you thought YOU were safe at the expense of others, you’re now in danger. Marginalized folks know this lesson all too well. If we don’t look out for all of humanity, we are all vulnerable.We dive into how to manage the overwhelm and still stay active. Divide up the work. Find one thing you really care about - listen to your anger - and invest your energy there - and find like minded friends to take on the other parts. Then share and learn together. And don’t underestimate the power of real world, in person, local action. Show up to your local community center and ask how you can help. You’ll get out of yourself and gain perspective.We also talk about how we’re processing the current state of our nation with our children by prioritizing freedom of thought, developmentally appropriate access to information, and encouraging them to support their opinions with facts. While the world is FAFO (effing around and finding out), we want to reclaim the term and be the Fun Aunties Fighting Oppression - working shoulder-to-shoulder in our friend groups, in raising our children, and at our community centers!Sidenote: Words are hard for Laura today. Please forgive her. She’s fine. ;) And Lisa, come back again soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2025 is no joke y’all, and community is CRITICAL to survival. You know one way to build community? Share this episode with a like-minded friend from our website (pushingpastpolitepodcast.com) and talk about it! Give us a review on your podcast app, engage with our posts on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube so other folks can find us. On Episode 33, we start by talking about all the things the new administration doesn’t want you to hear about, like bird flu, a raging tuberculosis outbreak, how firing the FAA director and freezing hiring of air traffic controllers likely contributed to a deadly plane crash, the operation of a concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay that will likely include the internment of our own citizens (WWII history repeating itself), challenging the citizenship for indigenous people. This is how hate works. You think that the “others” are fine to direct hate towards, but it’ll eventually be your turn. There is no protection from it.People are stunned by the flurry of activity - timed perfectly to make us stay home, be compliant, and then they can even blame things on the previous administration.Keith shared about his challenging work in communications on federally-funded projects and the real impact a funding freeze has and might continue to have on his colleagues. Gutting federal departments is a way to make his homies rich, awarding federal contracts to them instead. Kori, Keith, and Laura plot their hopefulness on a continuum. Keith is most despairing, Laura is in the middle, and Kori is most hopeful. Probably b/c her entire 42 years of lived experience as a Black woman in America have prepared her for injustice. Kori points out that white folks are socialized to be nice, be polite, don’t talk about that here or now - or ever. And that’s a big part of what got us here - our unwillingness to confront harmful thinking and behaviors.Being on the receiving end of harmful policy is pretty new for most white folks, so while they may feel stunned, scared, and hopeless, Kori gives us all the pep talk we need. This isn’t the time to be tired. Take a lesson from our Black, trans, differently-abled brothers and sisters and keep moving. Drink that Red Bull if you need it, but get out there and fight - and live in spite of injustice. Channel your inner Brave Heart. Paint that face. Let’s effing go! Look for the helpers and BE one of them! Listen to your patriotic songs and know that this is YOUR time.If the events of the past few weeks have opened your eyes in new ways, you are welcome here. Check out our catalog of 32 other podcast episodes and join us in Pushing Past Polite in your communities.P.S. And can we say how ahead of our time our fangirling of Costco was? I mean damn. Love you, COSTCO. Now more than ever. And three cheers for the Bravo Cinematic Universe sweatshirt Laura wore for this recording. Takes us way back to our friendship origin story and the conversation where we debate Bravo v. Marvel. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2025 is here, y’all and it’s our 2-year podcast-a-versary! You know the best gift you could give us? A review and a follow - and sharing an episode with a friend! Our website is pushingpastpolitepodcast.com, and you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube @pushingpastpolite)On Episode 32, we acknowledge how 2025 started off with a bang - raging wildfires in California and an ice storm with no water for most of the Richmond, Virginia metro area. We trace so much of the climate crisis to removing control of the land from indigenous peoples! Other topics include State Farm dropping coverage for folks due to fire risk and trying to remember which spokesperson represents them in the commercials. Also, words are hard, Dora the Explorer, Tinder, the Red One Christmas movie on Netflix, Luigi being charged with terrorism, universal health care, reproductive rights, election fundraising, Ukraine, Gaza, capitalism, a great quote from Maggie Smith, Gwen Stefani teaching us to spell bananas, a beautiful duet popularized by Sara Bareillis and Jason Mraz, Hope Floats, Debbie from Alabama, modern friendships described as water features, pulled muscles and snow blower sales, Washington Commander suite seats, Maryland Governor Wes Moore, the Lion King, our current reading lists, and the Santa-Mommy connection.The core of this episode is a reflective pause at the start of a new year using a set of journal prompts from Laura Tremaine: What will you remember from 2024? Who mattered to you in 2024? Where did you find peace? What were your triumphs? What was the biggest lesson you learned? What do you want to leave behind in 2024? What do you want to carry forward into 2025? Think about it, journal if you want, and talk about it with people you love and trust. Let’s buckle up for 2025 together! Talk soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy holidays! You know the best gift you could give us? A review and a follow - and sharing an episode with a friend! Our website is pushingpastpolitepodcast.com, and you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube @pushingpastpolite)On Episode 31, we have our first actual guest! Our dear mutual friend Jared joins us and shares so much wisdom - from why men need longer hugs to what it feels like to be an autistic man interacting in a predominantly allistic society. Kori and Laura start off singing some Flo Rida because sometimes it takes them a few moments to focus, and then we do a quick holiday check in. Once we talk through how we’re tackling wrapping gifts, the gals share their experiences with Jared and then let him introduce himself to you all. Conversation topics include the inclination for white folks to have more exclusionary circles over time, the concept of weaponized mass envy brought on by social hierarchies (see: white supremacy), the megaphone and the whispers of hateful policy, the importance of validating individuals’ experiences, the magic of good communication (with paraphrasing and active listening). We then shift to asking Jared what’s on his mind, given his intersectional identities as an autistic, gay, white man looking ahead to 2025. Unsurprisingly, we touch on politics, and Jared warns us to avoid the temptation to vilify large swaths of folks, drawing on experiences he’s had visiting Texas. He encourages us instead to get brave and have conversation - even if it’s awkward - to try to bridge divides. And please listen out for his love language that Kori and I want to put on mugs, sweatshirts, and socks. Y’all, we just know you’ll love him like we do. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy gratitude season! We’d be ever so grateful if you’d follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!On Episode 30, our trio of Kori, Keith, Laura focus on gratitude. They share what they’re grateful for - including family, friends, and the podcast as well as Kerrygold butter, Costco, a Turkish rug, herbs and houseplants, the Marco Polo app, a Gordon Ramsey poached salmon recipe, classic music, a KitchenAid mixer named Josephine the Mixing Queen, self-employment and owning our time, conversations with random strangers that lead to something beautiful, coffee shop vibes in a sauna, a strong sense of community, Cindy - our new listener, good audio quality, friends that push you to be your best self, and upcoming opportunities to travel. But not to Knott’s Berry Farm. Getting stuck on a ride for hours sounds like torture.And bonus - funny kid stories. Don’t yuck that yum.Wishing you and yours a heart-warming, soul-restoring day and season of gratitude to bolster us for what lies ahead. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 29 kicks off with Kori anticipating the fatigue and stress that is hosting sleepovers for little ones. Laura thinks she’s lost her mind, hosting toddlers and preschoolers for a sleepover. Not even caffeine and wine can save you. We all agree that whoever put Halloween, Daylight Savings, and Election Day in the same week clearly hates us. We spend most of our time debriefing our lack of surprise, but sincere disappointment with the federal election outcomes from our perspectives: Keith as a white man in a red state, Kori as a Black woman in a blue state, and Laura as a white woman in a reddish-purple area of a blue state. We touch on Florida’s constitutional amendments to enshrine abortion rights and legalize marijuana that failed, representation, the importance of protecting transgender kids, how moving to Portugal is tempting, immigration, the perception of the economy, how we recovered and processed our feelings in the wake of the outcomes, the blue bracelet “trend,” how we won’t be storming the capitol, 34 felony charges that seem not to matter because of someone’s whiteness, how our government secrets will be by the toilet in MiraLago, and so much more. We focus on what’s true before the election that’s also true now - like our care for the vulnerable, love for our families, and showing up to do the work. We mourn how everyone will lose something - even if they don’t realize it yet, and we again flex our compassion muscle to try to understand what motivated folks to vote against their own interests. And we have to then craft a message and a platform that speaks to those needs. So we look ahead to next year’s governor’s race (in Virginia) and congressional midterms (2026) to put together a firewall against this administration - as well as actions we can take in our communities to organize and stand up for folks who will need us. And Kori shares more about her toddler and preschooler's plans for an epic sleepover. Godspeed, mama. Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kori shares the joys of having young kids in school for the first time. Germy, nasty funk. And they reminisced about the wonderful experience of attending a wedding where Laura was supporting her client, the father of the bride named Tony who is one of Kori’s oldest friends. Not only did Laura get to see Kori and her husband and sons, but she got to meet her parents, Joni and Dr. Chip! <Swoon> We discussed the sense of community Kori’s childhood church in Cali provided for her and her peers - and Laura got to meet so many of these folks at the wedding too. It was beautiful to behold. Kori shared how the parents in church looked out for all the kids, cheered them on - even gave them a place of respite when things got tricky with their own parents. Kori’s parents were very visible and involved - building their lives around being there for their three kids and all their friends. Laura shares how it was very important to her to “come correct” to a party that involved many people of color where she was a guest. From my client to Kori’s childhood friends to their parents - everyone welcomed her with open arms in a way that touched her deeply. Laura reflected how it takes a lot of bravery to be a person of color - particularly a Black woman - and be open to friendships with white folks - particularly white women - who are generally frequent perpetrators of microaggressive (if not aggressive) behavior. And Kori blew Laura’s mind by rightly acknowledging the privilege baked into being able to choose who to associate with in some spaces. She pointed out that in many workplaces as a Black woman - particular in academia - white women are the dominant group. Kori shared how she intentionally chose a neighborhood where she would not be a minority - and how she moves through predominantly white spaces with a sense of caution and awareness.Laura shared a post that stuck with her from Luvvie Ajayi about what it takes for Luvvie to have a sincere friendship with a white woman. We’ll post it on our website so you can see it. Kori and Laura reflect on what they appreciate in their friendship - permission to be fully human, to not diminish each others’ feelings, and to allow each other to process without judgment. We make each other better.And then Laura blushes as Kori shares some sweet stories about Laura’s kids. And Laura reciprocates with how much she loves being “Aunt Lola” to Kori’s boys. The ladies both agree how connections through blood aren’t everything - and how they have critical connections to people unrelated to them.Laura shared anxiety about the election, and Kori shared her take - how she’s less focused on our election and more about the power struggle between good and evil in the world more broadly - and how, as a Black woman, she knows minoritized groups will bear the brunt of whomever is in leadership because social change is a long game. Oof. After sharing our perspectives, which have some commonalities and differences, we come back to the shared experience of the wedding - and how this is JUST what we need. Chances to be human, to connect beyond difference, and see common humanity.Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Laura and Kori finally are able to connect and recap after several months of life moving at the speed of a million WTFs per hour. 🙂Last time we chatted, Joe Biden was campaigning for president, Hurricane Helene hadn’t hit Appalachia yet, and Eminem wasn’t a grandfather.In our personal lives, we chat about Kori's work with the National School Climate Center, her beloved housecleaner, preschool adjustments. Laura shares a funny story about one of her unnamed children playing the recorder and hitting a surprise note. She also talks about parenting a child who’s best friend sustained a serious injury. So many questions to answer and emotions to process. We quickly talked about the Mayor of New York’s indictment, the Diddy indictments and the weird connection to Costco baby oil, a recent Saturday Night Live cold open, how we’re rewatching movies from our childhood without kids (and noticing how much has changed socially in our lifetime) and of course, we get to the big stuff.We point out the ridiculousness of sending billions to Israel (under a Democratic president) to purchase bombs used in a genocide while the Republican party can’t seem to find it in their hearts to vote to fund FEMA. This juxtaposition of values, investments, and lack of investment really smacks us in the face. Helene really shows us how quickly and unexpectedly we could become climate refugees - and yet the immigration crisis continues and politicians dehumanize folks who are displaced, seeking a better life - even legally! (see Haitians in Springfield, Ohio). We see how communications devices are turned into explosive devices in Lebanon as Israel attacks a sovereign nation, yet we (rightly) balk when Putin invades Ukraine. We have no coherent foreign policy and it’s so hard to stomach the hypocrisy. Same in our presidential election. We have someone with 34 felonies, twice impeached, and a convicted rapist practically tied with a woman of color who’s uniquely qualified. All this to say - vote - and look into your early voting options so you know your vote is in!We shift to the topic of school shootings and the regular practice of lockdown drills for our little ones - and yet this topic was missing from the presidential debate?!? Kori and Laura disagree about the saliency and likelihood of change related to common sense gun reform. We pivot though to the need to see the big picture and identify the connections between the conflicts and injustices in the world. Where there is a threat to power, there is violence and oppression. Prison systems, Sudan and Congo, Israel, the NRA and guns in schools, successful Black enclaves like in Central Park. It’s all a manifestation of colonialism and white supremacy in our world.We end in a call to look for the juxtapositions of our policies and our proclaimed values. What do we do and what do we say we care about? We remind listeners that our futures, as humans, are tied. Whatever we permit against one group of people will eventually be used against us. See the current injustices as canary in the coal mine. Find ways to resist. Use your voice, intentionally pursue joy, and exercise empathy and compassion every chance you get.Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season 4 starts now! Keith joins Laura and Kori to touch base mid-summer because Lord, y’all - so much is happening!  The three discuss the tension of living our individual lives with its daily rhythms, routines, and pressing “must dos” while acknowledging the big picture things happening in our world that we just cannot ignore! And boy oh boy are we tired of living in unprecedented times! Poor elder millennials - it’s all we know.Big macro forces include the ongoing genocide in Gaza, a shooting at a presidential campaign rally, famine in Sudan and DRC, exploitative mining practices in Congo, inflation, violations of the separation of church and state in Louisiana classrooms, dangerous and crazy Supreme Court decisions about homelessness, bribery, and presidential immunity, AIPAC bragging about influencing our elections, a felon leading the presidential race, Nazis marching in Nashville. Yet we have to pack for vacations, drive kids to camps, and make dinner.  Gah!We reflect on the events of recent weeks and have some takeaways.Americans consume violence as our entertainment - from the NFL to the Law and Order series to true crime podcasts. So why are we surprised when we see political violence? Violence is woven into the fabric of our nation’s history - particularly violence against native peoples and Africans captured and forced into slavery. And it only continued - see Tulsa Race Massacre - and even school shootings. Assassinations aren’t even new - see Lincoln, JFK, MLK. Yes we condemn violence, but let’s be clear - this is not new.Kori shares a terrifying, poignant memory of being a 10 year old girl in the backseat of her parents’ vehicle as the police pulled them over with SWAT and helicopters, assuming the car was stolen. Perhaps the shock is just new to white Americans?More than ever - community is everything - practically and strategically. Check on and take care of your people. Flex your empathy muscles. Don’t feel guilty about self-care. Remember - you’re putting out brush fires in your own life while a forest fire rages all around. Finding joy and healing spaces is critical. And even if you have the privilege to ignore what’s going on in the world - fight that urge.  Don’t be a rugged individualist. Lean in and recognize the power of the collective. And if you haven’t read about Project 2025, the time is now. So much dangerous wild stuff - from women’s rights to weather reports! Get educated about the stakes and talk about them with your people.And lighter topics of conversation include The Price is Right and how Bob Barker is better than Drew Carey as host. Streaming services with ads are making us cranky. Wasn’t the point of streaming to skip ads on cable? And all the categories of exercise classes in these handy dandy apps, The Outer Banks on Netflix, school supply shopping with a bajillion glue sticks, crazy school calendars, our vacation plans.Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU!@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.The best ways to support us are by rating, reviewing, and sharing episodes with folks in your circle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.