How Sharing Our Stories Can Lead to Healing Betrayal Trauma

In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the complexities of personal growth, focusing on how childhood experiences shape adult behavior. We discuss insights from the "Gateway to Freedom" workshop, emphasizing the importance of recognizing our own choices while understanding the influences of our upbringing. I admire Stephen’s work on DoctorMarriage.org and how he offers practical tools and tips for men wanting to live a full life of integrity. In our conversation, we explore themes of belonging, identity, and the emotional struggles many face. We highlight the coexistence of sadness and hope, encouraging listeners to embrace self-discovery and seek support for healing and transformation. To get daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.Topics Covered in this Episode:Personal responsibility and its complexitiesImpact of childhood experiences on adult behaviorDistinction between personal choices and external influencesInsights from the "Gateway to Freedom" workshopEmotional struggles related to belonging and identityThe pain of rejection and its lasting effectsThe relationship between sadness and hopeCoping mechanisms developed in childhood and their consequencesThe journey of self-discovery and healingImportance of seeking support and community for personal growthMore Resources:Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive for menSad, but Hopeful post on DoctorMarriage.orgGrace-Based Recovery Online GroupsRelated Podcasts:Why Men Need to Practice SadnessWhole Man Recovery Pt 3: EmotionalNavigating Grief, Fear, and Transformation----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, we chat with the amazing Elizabeth Woning about her incredible journey of faith and sexuality. Elizabeth, once an openly lesbian woman who attended seminary, shares her experiences reconciling her sexuality with her faith in God. We delve into her transformative encounters with God, the challenges of navigating faith within the LGBTQ+ community, and the importance of self-acceptance in light of the gospel. Elizabeth's story highlights the power of experiencing God's love and the ongoing journey of understanding one's true identity. Her insights offer hope and guidance for anyone grappling with similar issues. Join us for this earnest and enlightening conversation!For more information about Elizabeth and her movement, visit ChangedMovement.com.Topics Covered in this Episode:Exploration of the intersection between faith and sexuality.Personal journey of an openly lesbian woman in a religious context.Experiences in seminary and the LGBTQ+ community.The impact of transformative encounters with God.Reevaluation of beliefs regarding identity and self-acceptance.The role of God's love in shaping personal identity.Challenges faced by individuals with life-dominating issues related to sexuality.Importance of relational understanding of God versus a philosophical approach.Strategies for creating safe environments for discussions about identity.Encouragement for individuals to seek a deeper communion with God.More Resources:Changed Book: #OnceGayStoriesNavigating LGBTQ video courseChanged StoriesRelated Podcasts:From Broken Home to Broken Sexuality to Wholeness in ChristAm I Gay? (with Garry Ingraham)What is Sexual Discipleship?----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, I chat with Phil and Priscilla Fretwell about their incredible journey of healing and redemption from sexual brokenness in their marriage. They are the founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and help other couples overcome their past and fight for their future.In our conversation, Phil opens up about his long-term struggle with pornography and the devastating impact it had on their relationship. Priscilla shares her raw emotions of betrayal and anger, and how she found the strength to forgive. Together, they highlight the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and seeking help. Their story is a powerful reminder that even in the darkest times, transformation and healing are possible through faith and open communication.To learn more about Phil and Priscilla and their ministry, visit SavageMarriageMinistries.com. Topics Covered in this Episode:Personal struggles with pornography and its impact on marriageThe journey of confession and the importance of transparencyEmotional wounds and their influence on behaviorThe role of accountability and seeking help in recoveryThe process of healing from betrayal and angerThe significance of communication in rebuilding trustThe impact of struggles on family dynamics and relationshipsThe transformative power of vulnerability and honestyThe development of a new ministry to support others facing similar challengesEncouragement for others to pursue healing and restoration in their relationshipsMore Resources:Savage Marriage* by Phil and Priscilla FretwellSavage Marriage PodcastGateway to Freedom 3-day intensive for menWives Care Online GroupsRelated Podcasts:The Journey to Stay (with Steve & Lisa Goldberg)Out of the Dust: One Couple's Story of Radical Redemption4 Skills to Transform Your Marriage*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, I welcome Sam Jolman, a therapist, author, and father, to discuss his book, "The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality." Sam shares his journey into counseling, emphasizing the importance of meaningful conversations about sexuality. We explore the impact of shame and purity culture, and the distinction between normal arousal and lust. Sam highlights the need for competent counseling and open dialogue to foster a healthier understanding of men's sexual formation. This episode is a heartfelt call to reclaim the beauty and complexity of human sexuality as God designed it.To learn more about Sam and the book, visit SamJolman.com. Topics Covered in this Episode: Importance of open conversations about sexualityPersonal experiences and backstory of the speaker as a therapist and fatherThe role of competent counseling in addressing sexual issuesImpact of shame and purity culture on men's understanding of sexualityDistinction between normal arousal and lustConcept of the "wow response" to beauty and attractionNature of sexuality as a means for emotional and relational connectionInfluence of generational patterns of shame on sexual educationGuidance for parents on discussing sexuality with childrenEncouragement for ongoing dialogue about sexuality rather than a single conversationMore Resources:The Sex Talk You Never Got* by Sam JolmanGateway to Freedom 3-day intensive for menOur Bodies Tell God's Story* by Christopher WestRelated Podcasts:Understanding God's Design for Sex in Today's Confused CultureGod's Design for Emotional Growth and SexualityWhat is Sexual Discipleship?*These are affiliate links. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, I welcome back Lyschel Burket, an expert in helping women heal from betrayal trauma, especially in marriages affected by infidelity. Lyschel shares her personal journey and emphasizes the importance of community, safety, and communication in the healing process. We discuss the unique emotional challenges women face after betrayal and the critical role of support and understanding from both partners and their community. Lyschel also highlights the spiritual aspect of healing, stressing how Christ provides hope and safety during suffering and grief. It’s a heartfelt conversation aimed at offering solace and guidance to those traveling this difficult path. To learn more about Lyschel and her resources for wives, visit HopeRedefined.org.Topics Covered in this Episode:Healing journey of women experiencing betrayal trauma, particularly in marriages.Importance of community support and connection during the healing process.Emotional challenges faced by women after discovering betrayal.Need for safety and stabilization as foundational aspects of healing.Communication between partners to rebuild trust and understanding.Unique experiences of betrayal and the necessity for empathy from partners.Role of the betraying partner in supporting the healing process.Impact of trauma on the grieving process and emotional responses.Self-care practices and accountability for betrayed partners.Spiritual aspect of healing and finding hope through faith.More Resources:Hope for Wives Podcast40 Days of Healing for Wives online courseHope Redefined Online CommunityRelated Podcasts:Sexual Betrayal and Spiritual BattleThe Need for Safety in Betrayal Trauma HealingForgiveness and Grief in Betrayal Trauma Healing----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, we invite back Dr. Jennifer Degler, a clinical psychologist and marriage expert, to talk about making sex pleasurable and fun again, especially for couples dealing with betrayal or brokenness. Dr. Degler shares her insights on the importance of pleasure within God's design for sex and offers practical steps for re-engaging with intimacy after betrayal. We discuss the necessity of communication, mindfulness, and sensory exploration to rebuild trust and enjoyment in sexual relationships. Jennifer’s tips and insightful anecdotes provide a refreshing perspective on rekindling passion and connection in marriage.To learn more about Dr. Degler and her resources, visit JenniferDegler.com.Topics Covered in this Episode:Importance of pleasure in sexual relationships within a Christian context.Challenges couples face in reconnecting after betrayal or brokenness.Practical steps for re-engaging with intimacy and pleasure.Role of communication in rebuilding trust and intimacy.Mindfulness techniques to enhance sensory experiences during intimacy.Non-sexual physical affection as a foundation for intimacy.Engaging the five senses to deepen connection and pleasure.Strategies for managing intrusive thoughts during intimate moments.Incorporating spirituality and prayer into the healing process.Encouragement for couples to persevere in their journey toward intimacy and fulfillment.More Resources:CWIVESFree resources for building healthy marriagesFind a CounselorRelated Podcasts:What Men Need to Know About Female SexualityUnderstanding Your Flipped Out BrainThe Journey to Stay----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, I’m so excited to chat with Gigi Hopkins, our Wives Care Director, and Andrea Stunz, our Marketing Manager and Wives Care Aftercare Coordinator, about our new online resource, "40 Days of Healing for Wives." This course is crafted to support women dealing with the pain of betrayal in their marriages, especially sexual betrayal. We dive into the course's development, its structure, and the importance of pacing and journaling. Gigi and Andrea share heartfelt insights on fostering healing, the power of community support, and how faith plays a crucial role in the healing journey for wives. To learn more and enroll in the course, visit PureLifeAcademy.org.Topics Covered in this Episode:Development of the "40 Days of Healing for Wives" courseImportance of healing for wives dealing with betrayal, especially sexual betrayalStructure and key elements of the course, including pacing and journalingRole of community support in the healing processEmotional regulation and handling triggers during healingIncorporation of faith in the healing journeyPersonal growth and transformation through painGoals and aspirations for participants in the courseEncouragement and hope for women navigating betrayalResources and support available for participants beyond the courseMore Resources: Free Basics Webinar for WivesWives Care GroupsPersonal Consultation for WivesRelated Podcasts:Self-Care and Rest for Wives Healing from Betrayal TraumaThe Need for Boundaries After BetrayalLiminal Space: Helping Wives Transition from Betrayal to Hope----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, we dive into the emotional struggles men face, especially those recovering from addiction. We explore the concept of "Mr. Unemotional," describing men who find it hard to express their feelings due to past experiences or societal pressures. Stephen Cervantes and I discuss the importance of emotional growth alongside behavioral recovery. We share insights on how men can better understand and articulate their emotions, emphasizing the need for openness and support from partners and friends. The episode highlights the journey toward emotional maturity, encouraging men to embrace change for deeper, more fulfilling relationships.For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org. Topics Covered in this Episode:Emotional health and its significance in addiction recovery for men.The concept of "Mr. Unemotional" and its implications for men's emotional development.The disconnect between behavioral recovery and emotional growth.The impact of childhood emotional training on adult emotional expression.The importance of recognizing and acknowledging one's emotional state.Tools and strategies for improving emotional awareness, such as the "feelings wheel."The role of openness and willingness to learn in emotional growth.Challenges in navigating emotional conversations and the tendency to shut down.The need for comfort and connection in relationships, particularly during emotional expressions.The journey toward emotional maturity and the potential for personal and relational transformation.More Resources:Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive40 Days of Training for Your SoulEmotional Training for Men Webinar SeriesRelated Podcasts:Men's Emotional Self-Awareness TestBreaking Down Barriers: The Art of Active ListeningA 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, I have back on the program our delightful friend and colleague Dr. Joy Skarka to talk about her new book, "Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy," co-authored with Dr. Juli Slattery. Joy shares her personal journey and the mission of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to helping individuals reclaim God's design for sexuality. We discuss the unique challenges women face with pornography, the importance of understanding God's unconditional love, and the journey toward sexual integrity – which emphasizes the power of truth, engaging community, and sharing one's story to overcome shame and find lifelong healing.For more info about Joy, the book, and the ministry, visit AuthenticIntimacy.com. Topics Covered in this Episode: Discussion of the book "Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy."Exploration of the challenges women face regarding pornography.The role of the Authentic Intimacy ministry in addressing issues of sexuality and intimacy.Personal stories of healing from shame, addiction, and abuse.The importance of understanding God's love and sexual integrity.The concept of sexual integrity and its integration with spiritual identity.The journey of healing as a continuous process rather than a destination.The impact of shame and identity on women's struggles with pornography.Practical tools for combating lies and embracing truth through scripture.Encouragement to share personal stories as a means of healing and breaking free from shame.More Resources:Her Freedom Journey* by Dr. Joy Skarka and Dr. Juli SlatteryHer Freedom Journey online book studySheRecovery.comRelated Podcasts:Freedom and Healing from Shame, Addiction, and AbuseNew Research on Why Women View PornGod's Grace for Women Struggling with Porn and Sexual Shame*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

In this episode, I chat with three amazing leaders from Prodigals International: Steve Dulaney, president of Prodigals, Sam Louie, a licensed mental health counselor, and Fausto Estrada, one of their group leaders. Steve shares how Prodigals International began as a faith-based support group for men struggling with sexual addiction and intimacy disorders, emphasizing the importance of community and accountability. Sam opens up about his journey from addiction to recovery, influenced by his background as an Asian immigrant. He highlights how group therapy and supportive mentors transformed his life. Fausto shares his recovery story and how it has culminated in him now leading a Spanish language support group for Prodigals. Together, we explore the power of faith, personal stories, and cultural context in overcoming addiction and fostering recovery. I trust this conversation will inspire you in your own journey of pursuing greater integrity.To learn more about Prodigals International, please visit ProdigalsInternational.org.Topics Covered in Episode:Background and mission of Prodigals InternationalPrograms aimed at helping men with sexual addiction and intimacy disordersPersonal stories of recovery from addictionCultural influences on addiction and recovery experiencesThe role of community and accountability in overcoming addictionThe importance of mentorship in the recovery processChallenges faced during the journey of recoveryThe impact of faith in the healing processDevelopment of resources for Spanish-speaking individuals in recoveryThe significance of sharing personal stories to inspire hope in othersMore Resources:Passport to Shame* by Sam LouieProdigals in Espanol (Spanish language group for men)Online Homecoming GroupRelated Podcasts: About Recovery and Asian Culture ShameOvercoming Shame and Embracing Your True IdentityHelping Men Overcome Porn and Get Emotionally Fit*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.