Movie Torture

What happens when Barney, Pee-wee Herman, and a serial killer have a baby? Apparently, you get Buddy (2026), a children's nightmare that nobody asked for!This week, Brad, Mark, and Movie Torture Dad (MTD) dive into a world of singing kids, creepy puppets, murderous unicorns, and a mailman who really should've called in sick.But before the torture begins, it's another ridiculous edition of Who Buys This Crap? featuring Piranha 3DD, a suspicious Disney bootleg, and DVDs being sold by people who apparently don't believe in making change.Brad wonders if Buddy just needs a stiff drink and a new career, Mark tries to make sense of a movie that makes absolutely no sense, and MTD joins the madness as the guys attempt to figure out what on earth they just watched.Is Buddy a hidden horror gem or Sesame Street after a three-day meth binge? And more importantly, will it survive the ultimate judgment: Movie Torture or Movie Gold?Grab your juice box, hide the children, and join us for another episode of Movie Torture Pod, where we watch the movies so you don't have to… but sometimes wish you did!

This week on Movie Torture, Brad, Mark, and MTD tackle The Runner, the Amazon Prime action thriller starring Gal Gadot and Damian Lewis. It's a movie that asks one very important question:WHAT IF WE TOOK THE MOVIE SPEED, REMOVED THE BUS, REMOVED THE EXPLOSIONS, REMOVED THE FUN, AND JUST MADE WONDER WOMAN JOG AROUND LONDON FOR 90 MINUTES?Hollywood apparently said, "Here's $269 million. MAKE IT HAPPEN!"The story follows a lawyer whose son has been kidnapped by a mysterious criminal who demands she assassinate a witness. But there's a catch: She can't take a taxi, ride a bus, or use public transportation.SHE HAS TO RUN.Why? Nobody knows. Apparently, the villain is also a personal trainer who takes his job WAY too seriously.And that's where Brad, Mark, and MTD begin their investigation into one of the most ridiculous action movies they've ever encountered.How does Gal Gadot get absolutely DESTROYED by a moving vehicle, wake up in an ambulance, and immediately start running again like she just finished a refreshing power nap?How does she somehow OUTRUN A SUBWAY TRAIN to the next station?Why is the villain so obsessed with tracking her jogging speed?And most importantly, AFTER RUNNING THROUGH LONDON FOR AN ENTIRE MOVIE, HOW IS THIS WOMAN NOT SUFFERING FROM THE WORST CHAFING IN HUMAN HISTORY?Brad has questions about her thighs. Mark has questions about the screenplay. And MTD has questions about where Amazon spent all that money.Speaking of money, the guys discover reports claiming this movie cost an absolutely INSANE $269 MILLION!TWO HUNDRED. SIXTY-NINE. MILLION. DOLLARS.For a movie about a woman running.Did Amazon purchase the entire city of London? Did Gal Gadot receive a solid-gold treadmill? Was Jeff Bezos personally delivering bottled water to the set?The guys even recreate the Hollywood pitch meeting that somehow got this movie approved, and it's probably more entertaining than the actual film.Meanwhile, Brad and Mark determine that the entire production could've been saved with one simple casting decision:MARK WAHLBERG.That's right. Put Marky Mark in London, give him a Boston accent, throw in a Wahlburgers restaurant, and suddenly you've got yourself an Oscar contender.Somehow, this leads to an extended discussion about Howdy Doody, Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Wizard, and what would happen if the beloved children's puppet started speaking like Jigsaw from Saw."HEY KIDS! IT'S HOWDY DOODY TIME! WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME?"Nobody knows how they got there. Nobody knows how to get back.And that's just the movie discussion!PLUS! THE CRAIGSLIST MOMENT OF THE WEEK IS BACK!Brad discovers someone desperately trying to sell a VHS copy of Gordy, the forgotten 1990s movie about a talking pig trying to save his family from the slaughterhouse.The asking price? $6.75.Not six dollars. Not seven dollars. SIX DOLLARS AND SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS.The seller has been trying to unload this cinematic treasure for months, leaving the guys wondering whether anybody in the history of mankind has ever said, "Man, I really need to find myself a copy of Gordy on VHS."Then things get even stranger when Brad discovers someone giving away an entire season of The Sopranos recorded off television onto blank VHS tapes.Not the official box set.Not DVDs.SOMEBODY'S HOME-RECORDED VHS TAPES.Mark immediately suspects there could be old wedding footage, family memories, or something considerably more sinister hiding between episodes of Tony Soprano.And why would anyone drive across town to pick up a stranger's homemade VHS recordings when they could just stream the show?The mystery deepens.ALSO IN THIS EPISODE: Brad reveals his latest project involving a 1958 General Electric television, his fantasy football season gets off to a disastrous start, the guys debate whether Phone Booth could even exist today, Owen Wilson makes an imaginary appearance, and Damian Lewis somehow goes from Band of Brothers to a movie where his biggest competition is a pair of running shoes.ONE KIDNAPPED CHILD. ONE MYSTERIOUS PHONE CALL. ONE VERY EXPENSIVE JOG. THREE GUYS WHO WOULD'VE STOPPED FOR PIZZA AFTER THE FIRST HALF MILE.Can Brad, Mark, and MTD figure out where the budget went? Can Gal Gadot outrun a train, a car accident, and the laws of human physiology? And will somebody PLEASE explain why the villain couldn't just handle his own dirty work?Grab your running shoes, stretch those hamstrings, and prepare for an episode that goes completely off the rails!Welcome to Movie Torture — we review the bad movies so you don't have to!

ScreamTober is back with another BONUS WATCH-ALONG, and this time things are getting weird, expensive, and a little too personal!Mark and Brad are heading back into the crypt for another episode of Movie Torture Live, where YOU get to watch the madness unfold right alongside them!This time, they're tackling Tales from the Crypt — Season 2, Episode 2: "The Switch," directed by none other than ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!That's right. The Terminator himself decided to step behind the camera for a horror episode about an elderly millionaire, a beautiful younger woman, and a plastic surgeon whose medical license probably came from the back of a cereal box.HERE'S HOW TO WATCH WITH US!Fire up Tubi, search for Tales from the Crypt, and find Season 2, Episode 2: "The Switch." Get the episode ready, then start Movie Torture Live on your favorite podcast app.When Mark and Brad give the signal, HIT PLAY ON TUBI! Now you can watch the episode while hearing their hilarious, completely unscripted commentary in real time. If Tubi throws a commercial at you, just pause and get back in sync with the guys.And trust us, you're going to want to experience this one with company.We've got William Hickey from Christmas Vacation looking like he hasn't slept since the Great Depression, Kelly Preston turning heads, and Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld somehow finding himself in the middle of a medical experiment that makes Frankenstein look like a licensed professional.Meanwhile, Brad wants to know why anyone would pay millions of dollars for a new face when they could just look like 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio or Mark Wahlberg in his Marky Mark days.Mark is busy identifying every actor who's ever appeared in Top Gun, Total Recall, or Seinfeld, while Brad develops an unhealthy fascination with Arnold Schwarzenegger's directing career.AND THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING!The guys tackle the really important questions: Would you let a doctor operate on you if he kept human heads in jars? Why does every rich old man in Hollywood drive a Rolls-Royce? Is Larry Bird's haircut worth stealing? And how many body parts can you replace before you're basically a completely different person?Somewhere along the way, the conversation takes a wild detour through Cocoon, Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Baywatch, The Human Centipede, and the horrifying realities of getting older.PLUS! Tubi commercials become the unofficial third host, Arnold gets his own questionable impression, and the guys attempt to figure out a plot that seems to require a medical degree, a financial adviser, and several replacement limbs.Will Arnold deliver cinematic greatness? Will the Crypt Keeper finally get his own gym membership? And can Mark and Brad make it through the episode without losing their minds?There's only one way to find out.ONE HORROR EPISODE. TWO GUYS. TOO MANY BODY PARTS. AND ABSOLUTELY NO MEDICAL SUPERVISION.Grab your remote, open Tubi, and join Mark and Brad for another ridiculous edition of MOVIE TORTURE LIVE!

ScreamTober is going out with a scream, a laugh, and possibly a restraining order! This week on Movie Torture, Mark, Brad, and MTD dive headfirst into the 1991 horror spectacle Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, a movie that somehow combines Freddy Krueger, the Wizard of Oz, Roseanne Barr, and Nintendo into one unforgettable cinematic experience.But the movie is only half the madness!Somehow, a discussion about Freddy Krueger turns into an investigation of John Cougar Mellencamp's cigarette habits, the creation of legendary rock star Freddy Krueger Mellencamp, Brad's suspicious new mustache, questionable road trips in windowless vans, and the possibility of Freddy chasing Frodo through the Shire.PLUS! WHO BUYS THIS CRAP? returns with Craigslist discoveries that will make you question humanity. We're talking a $75 VHS copy of Jarhead, a Sandra Bullock movie selling for a quarter, and a mysterious gas station meetup involving the musical Oklahoma! Is someone actually buying these movies, or is something much stranger happening in America's parking lots?And just when you think things can't get any more ridiculous, MTD tries to keep the conversation on track while Mark and Brad take another completely unnecessary detour into pop culture history.It's horror, nostalgia, bizarre theories, questionable purchases, and three guys who probably shouldn't be allowed to discuss movies without adult supervision.Freddy may be dead, but Movie Torture has never been more alive!Welcome to Movie Torture — we review the bad movies so you don't have to!

ScreamTober has officially gone prehistoric, and somebody needs to call Jurassic Park because their dinosaurs are running loose in the suburbs!This week on Movie Torture, Mark, Brad, and MTD sink their teeth into the 2026 sci-fi adventure The End of Oak Street, starring Ewan McGregor and Anne Hathaway. What happens when an ordinary neighborhood gets transported into a world filled with hungry dinosaurs? Apparently, you get family drama, questionable parenting, flying reptiles, and the largest pile of dinosaur dookie ever discussed on a podcast.But forget the dinosaurs for a minute. WHY IS OBI-WAN KENOBI DELIVERING PIZZA? Brad and Mark investigate Ewan McGregor's disappearing American accent, Anne Hathaway's never-ending movie schedule, and whether delivering pepperoni pizzas is really the worst thing a husband can do.Meanwhile, Brad unveils his Hollywood masterpiece pitch featuring B-list T. rexes, discount velociraptors, and a Mark Wahlberg impression that somehow turns into a commercial for Wahlburgers. MTD attempts to maintain order while the conversation takes more unexpected turns than a dinosaur loose in a shopping mall.PLUS! WHO BUYS THIS CRAP? returns with another collection of Craigslist treasures nobody asked for! We've got a $25 copy of Practical Magic, a Johnny Mathis Christmas VHS, a suspiciously overpriced autographed Lost in Space tape, and a horror movie called And Then You Die that doesn't even come with a box!

ScreamTober is getting a little more cryptic, and this time YOU'RE WATCHING WITH US!For the first time in Movie Torture history, Mark and Brad are inviting you to grab the remote, fire up Tubi, and experience the madness right alongside them! We're watching Tales from the Crypt — Season 3, Episode 3: "The Trap", directed by none other than Michael J. Fox!And here's the best part: Neither Mark nor Brad has ever seen this episode, so you're getting their completely unfiltered, totally unpredictable reactions as everything unfolds!HOW TO WATCH ALONG: Open the free streaming app Tubi, search for Tales from the Crypt, and pull up Season 3, Episode 3, "The Trap." Start playing our Movie Torture podcast episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. When Brad and Mark give the countdown, hit PLAY on Tubi at the same time! You'll hear their hilarious running commentary as you watch the episode with them. Pause the podcast while you get everything ready, and if the streams get out of sync, just pause and catch up!And what an episode to experience together!We've got a pizza delivery guy with a financial plan straight out of a prison documentary, a wife who deserves a vacation, a brother making some highly questionable career decisions, and an insurance scam that makes the average Craigslist listing look trustworthy.Meanwhile, Mark considers spending the night in the Crypt Keeper's house, Brad suggests a brand-new hairstyle called THE SKULLET, and the guys somehow turn a horror episode into a discussion about Robert Zemeckis, Back to the Future, Wahlburgers, Elvis Presley, and whether Mr. Strickland will ever stop chasing slackers.PLUS! There's an unexpected Michael J. Fox appearance, a mustache that refuses to disappear, an island getaway, and a courtroom situation that might be the most ridiculous legal proceeding since somebody tried to sue McDonald's over hot coffee.And because this is the first-ever watch-along, there's an additional villain nobody anticipated: TUBI COMMERCIAL BREAKS! Will Mark and Brad stay synchronized, or will one of them end up watching the ending while the other is still stuck on an advertisement?It's horror, nostalgia, insurance fraud, terrible disguises, and two grown men providing the kind of commentary that would get them permanently removed from a movie theater.One TV episode. Two microphones. Zero idea what's coming next.Don't just listen to Movie Torture — WATCH IT WITH US!Welcome to Movie Torture — we review the bad movies so you don't have to… but this time, you're coming along for the ride!

I scream, you scream, and Mark screams because Brad somehow thinks this movie is a masterpiece.This week on Movie Torture, Brad and Mark dive into Eli Roth's Ice Cream Man (2026), where a creepy, silent ice cream vendor serves up frozen treats that turn innocent kids into murderous little psychopaths. It's got killer kids, buckets of gore, questionable parenting, and a plot that makes about as much sense as buying a used DVD in a grocery store parking lot for 25 cents.Before the blood starts flowing, Who Buys This Crap? returns with bargain-bin DVDs, suspicious Craigslist sellers, and a very serious investigation into whether Cher movies can smell like cigarettes. Meanwhile, Jacob fills in for an absent MTD and wastes no time heckling from the chat.But the real insanity begins when Brad and Jacob imagine Mark going to prison, where his only claim to fame is being a former contestant on FOX's The Floor. What follows is one of the funniest bits in Movie Torture history, as Mark's imaginary prison reputation takes a turn that makes the ice cream man look downright friendly.And somewhere between severed heads, Eli Roth's questionable decisions, and Brad defending the indefensible, Brad and Mark find themselves on completely opposite sides of the ice cream truck.Will this frozen nightmare earn Movie Gold or leave someone screaming Movie Torture?Two hosts. One ice cream truck. One imaginary prison sentence. Absolutely zero agreement.Grab a cone, turn off your brain, and enjoy the meltdown. This episode gets messy.

This week on Movie Torture, Brad, Mark, and MTD head to Raccoon City for the brand-new Resident Evil—a movie packed with zombies, mutant monsters, flying body parts, a very determined organ courier, and enough chaos to make everyone question why anyone would willingly live in this town.Brad knows absolutely nothing about the video games, Mark attempts to explain the lore, and MTD checks in from the beach while somehow getting dragged into the movie because our hero drives what appears to be MTD’s old Subaru.Along the way, the guys pitch their own version of Resident Evil starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mark Wahlberg, debate the survival skills of a man who suddenly becomes an expert marksman, make an official pact to take each other out if any of them become zombies, and wonder how a $65 million zombie movie somehow turned into one of the wildest theater experiences they’ve had all year.Plus, before they even get to the movie, Brad brings another round of “Who Buys This Crap?” featuring overpriced VHS tapes, secret words, John Travolta, Andy Griffith, and collectibles that absolutely nobody was asking for.Zombies. Subarus. Organs. Schwarzenegger impressions. Questionable survival decisions. And MTD watching the whole disaster unfold from the chat.Welcome to Raccoon City. Try not to get eaten.

This week on Movie Torture, Brad, Mark, and MTD take on Netflix’s The Whisper Man—a movie featuring Robert De Niro, Adam Scott, Michelle Monaghan, and a surprise appearance from Batman himself, Michael Keaton.The guys break down the movie’s painfully predictable mystery, try to figure out where Netflix keeps finding all this money, and wonder why Adam Scott basically disappears halfway through his own movie.But as usual, the movie is only half the conversation. Brad discovers MTD actually likes Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, the guys go down a rabbit hole about dogs, Facebook Marketplace, Tarantino movies, and legacy sequels—and a brand-new Movie Torture segment is born: “Who Buys This Crap?”Plus, there’s Michael Keaton, De Niro impressions, Netflix slander, and one VERY weird scene at the end that absolutely has to be discussed.We watch the bad movies so you don’t have to.

This week on Movie Torture, Brad, Mark, and MTD take on Practical Magic—a movie that promises witches, curses, romance, and supernatural chaos, but leaves the guys with a whole lot of questions.Along the way, they try to figure out where the movie’s massive budget went, recreate what may have been the strangest Hollywood pitch meeting of 1998, debate whether anyone actually does witchcraft in this witch movie, and somehow wander into Liam Neeson, The Thin Red Line, Salem being the Myrtle Beach of witchcraft, and Brad’s questionable decision to pay actual money to see Polish Wedding.Plus, there’s a detective from Tucson, margaritas, a death beetle, MTD trying to keep everyone on track, and enough tangents to make you forget what movie they’re supposed to be reviewing.Grab your broomstick and join us as we try to answer one very important question:Where is the practical magic?