E235: Failure is Required from Here’s What I Learned with Jacki Hayes

Do your deep thoughts turn in to thought spirals? Today we’re talking about rumination: what it is, when it’s a problem, and what to do when your thoughts turn anxious, negative, or obsessive.  I used to spend a lot of my energy what if-ing, worrying, and planning for the 37 possibilities that could possibly occur. If this is you, too, you don’t have to stay in that thought prison!  Let’s talk about how rumination interplays with ADHD, how to use it for your good, and what to do when it turns into a problem.   Work with Patricia to get unstuck, exceed your goals, and be happy with ADHD.   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-247-rumination-adhd-stop-obsessive-negative-thought-spirals ************** Stop anxiety in its tracks!  Join me in my upcoming workshop: The ADHD Anti-Anxiety Workshop. In less than an hour, I'll teach you 3 ways to stop anxiety and immediately feel more relaxed and calm.  Cherry on top - it’s free. For now. Sign up today: patriciasung.com/workshop 

Sad, mad, annoyed, happy, sad, crying, mad, tired. All within an hour!  While hormones may be invisible to us, they sure do wreak havoc on our lives! Linda is here to teach us what's going on inside that drives our mood and energy in more ways than we can count.  For ADHD Awareness Month, we’re talking to a new ADHD guest expert every week.  Today’s guest is Linda Roggli.  Linda is a professional ADHD coach for ADHD women 40-and-better, a retreat facilitator, organizing expert and award-winning author. She created and hosts the annual online ADHD Women's Palooza and the ADHD Couple's Palooza. Her book, "Confessions of an ADDiva: Midlife in the Non-linear Lane" won first prize for women's issues in the prestigious Next Generation Independent book awards. She is former vice president of ADDA and continues to host its webinar series. She lives and works under the pine trees of the Piedmont of North Carolina with four ADHD Shelties, one cat formerly known as feral and one OCD husband, plus 13 cackling chickens. In this episode, Linda and I discuss the intricacies of hormone production and fluctuations, and what it means for our daily lives. She explains what's going on during perimenopause and menopause to shed some light on this rarely discussed topic that affects everyone with ovaries. (That's a lot of people for something we don't talk about enough!) Let’s jump into a much-needed discussion on estrogen levels and how they affect your ADHD from puberty to menopause, so you can live well as a woman with ADHD. Find Linda Roggli here: addiva.net Instagram: @lroggli Facebook: @Linda-Roggli   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-246-menopause-hormones-adhd-linda-roggli    It can feel super intimidating to show up to a party where you don’t know anyone. Well, I don’t want that fear to keep you from finding your people.  I want to make this super low risk for you to come, try it out, and get a sneak peek before you join our ADHD mom community.  You’re invited to the next Successful Mama Meetup Open House! Join us on Zoom on November 6th to body double for the first 30 minutes, then hangout and meet the other moms in the community for the second half. (Hint hint, we’re pretty amazing IMHO.) No charge, no pressure. Just come hang out! Let me know you wanna come right here and I’ll send you the zoom link.  And since it's on Zoom, everyone can come no matter where you live. Self-diagnosis and ADHD-curious moms welcome.  It’s time to hang out with other moms who get you and make you feel like you’re at home. So come in your comfy clothes and let’s hang out! See you soon!

Parenting with ADHD for ADHD is difficult. I mess it up a lot.  I apologize a lot. I’m working on it. And I bet you are, too.  For ADHD Awareness Month, we’re talking to a new ADHD guest expert every week. Today’s episode holds conflict resolution skills for our parenting tool belts. Our guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, is founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, where she and her staff work with individuals with ADHD (and their families) to learn strategies and develop new skills to live effectively with ADHD. Dr. Rosier is also the president of the ADHD Coaches Organization. She is a popular conference and keynote speaker, is a frequent guest on podcasts, and has published numerous articles about living with ADHD. She lives in West Michigan. In this episode, Dr. Rosier and I talk about different types of thinking, finishing big projects, how we can use our strengths to be most efficient, and where we can ask for help to make our lives easier. We dive into her new book, You, Me, and our ADHD Family, and she shares some great tips on resolving conflict in ADHD families. Let’s chat about parenting with Tamara as we dive into parenting strengths and nurturing relationships over tasks for a happier ADHD family. Find Dr. Tamara Rosier here: www.miadhd.com Instagram: @dr.tamararosier Facebook: @BrainNotBroken LinkedIn: @tamara-rosier-phd Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-245-conflict-resolution-for-adhd-family-dr-tamara-rosier   It can feel super intimidating to show up to a party where you don’t know anyone. Well, I don’t want that fear to keep you from finding your people.  I want to make this super low risk for you to come, try it out, and get a sneak peek before you join our ADHD mom community.  You’re invited to the next Successful Mama Meetup Open House! Join us on Zoom on November 6th to body double for the first 30 minutes, then hangout and meet the other moms in the community for the second half. (Hint hint, we’re pretty amazing IMHO.) No charge, no pressure. Just come hang out! Let me know you wanna come right here and I’ll send you the zoom link.  And since it's on Zoom, everyone can come no matter where you live. Self-diagnosis and ADHD-curious moms welcome.  It’s time to hang out with other moms who get you and make you feel like you’re at home. So come in your comfy clothes and let’s hang out! See you soon!  

***Note that today’s episode is not for little ears, so grab your headphones or listen away from the kids. Intimacy is more than what happens in the bedroom. When things are not going well in the bedroom, it shows up in everyday life too.  Relationship problems fester when ignored, seeping into the way you and your partner prioritize each other and communicate in your relationship. Throw ADHD in the mix and you’ve got advanced relationship needs, too. For ADHD Awareness Month, we’re talking to a new ADHD guest expert every week.  Today’s guest is Ari Tuckman, PsyD, a psychologist, author, international presenter and ADHD thought leader. He has been widely quoted in media and has appeared on countless podcasts. He is the conference committee co-chair CHADD. He is the author of “ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship”  In this episode, Dr. Tuckman and I discuss frequent struggles in ADHD relationships, including awkward conversations about intimacy, and where you might struggle with communication. We talk about real life solutions and suggestions on how to stay connected and prioritize your relationship.  You’re certainly not alone in these relationship struggles.  Let’s jump into a much-needed conversation about how to keep your romantic partnership strong in the trying stages of life and be present in the little moments that matter, so that you can both work toward a lasting and fulfilling relationship for both partners. Find Dr. Tuckman here: Website:  adultADHDbook.com   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-244-prioritizing-intimate-moments-adhd-couples-communication-relationships-dr-ari-tuckman   It can feel super intimidating to show up to a party where you don’t know anyone. Well, I don’t want that fear to keep you from finding your people.  I want to make this super low risk for you to come, try it out, and get a sneak peek before you join our ADHD mom community.  You’re invited to the next Successful Mama Meetup Open House! Join us on Zoom on November 6th to body double for the first 30 minutes, then hangout and meet the other moms in the community for the second half. (Hint hint, we’re pretty amazing IMHO.) No charge, no pressure. Just come hang out! Let me know you wanna come right here and I’ll send you the Zoom link.  And since it's on Zoom, everyone can come no matter where you live. Self-diagnosis and ADHD-curious moms welcome.  It’s time to hang out with other moms who get you and make you feel like you’re at home. So come in your comfy clothes and let’s hang out! See you soon!

Parenting a child with ADHD or neurodiversity brings many challenges and stresses, but connecting with other parents going through similar experiences can help you feel less isolated and lonely.  How can you best support both your ADHD child and yourself? For ADHD Awareness Month, we’re talking to a new ADHD guest expert every week.  Today’s guest is IngerShaye Colzie, MSW, LSW. IngerShaye provides executive ADHD coaching, individualized coaching and group coaching. In private sessions she creates a partnership tailored to your specific needs and goals, providing dedicated support and guidance. Within group sessions, she provides a safe space for black women to gain access to resources while connecting with the ADHD community. In this episode, IngerShaye and I discuss viewing parenting from the perspective of after your ADHD child reaches young adulthood. She’s sharing her hard-earned wisdom from twenty years of parenting on what truly matters and how we can do our best when we’re in the thick of it. IngerShaye talks about navigating the balancing act of setting expectations and providing structure, while also giving children autonomy and allowing them to learn from mistakes. Join us in a much needed conversation about advocating for your child in school and how you can be less hard on yourself as you do your best to take care of your children.  Making memories is just as important as all of the other things we do as parents. Let’s not forget to enjoy the ride, too. Find IngerShaye Colzie here: Website: ingershaye.com Instagram: @ingershaye Facebook: @blackwomenwithadhd   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-243-parenting-your-adhd-child-to-adulthood-ingershaye-colzie    It can feel super intimidating to show up to a party where you don’t know anyone. Well, I don’t want that fear to keep you from finding your people.  I want to make this super low risk for you to come, try it out, and get a sneak peak before you join our ADHD mom community.  You’re invited to the next Successful Mama Meetup Open House! Join us on Zoom on November 6th to body double for the first 30 minutes, then hangout and meet the other moms in the community for the second half. (Hint hint, we’re pretty amazing IMHO.) No charge, no pressure. Just come hang out! Let me know you wanna come right here and I’ll send you the zoom link.  And since it's on Zoom, everyone can come no matter where you live. Self-diagnosis and ADHD-curious moms welcome.  It’s time to hang out with other moms who get you and make you feel like you’re at home. So come in your comfy clothes and let’s hang out! See you soon!

You're not imagining it.  Your ADHD symptoms can change as you age.  ADHD in older adults can be very different than when you were younger and it's definitely not researched enough yet!  You don't need to qualify as a senior citizen before your age affects your ADHD, so youngin’s and elders alike, let's listen in.  For ADHD Awareness Month, we’re talking to a new ADHD guest expert every week.  Today’s guest is David W. Goodman, M.D., an expert in ADHD in older adults. David W. Goodman, M.D. is Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Norton School of Medicine, State University of New York-Upstate. An internationally recognized expert, he has presented over 750 lectures to medical specialists, authored peer-reviewed scientific papers, conducted clinical research on several of the ADHD medications now on the market, serves as a consultant to the NFL, widely quoted in national media, teaches 4th-year psychiatric residents at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and serves on the executive committee of APSARD (American Professional Society for ADHD and Related Disorders).  In this episode, Dr. Goodman shares a great refresher on the basics of ADHD and how to determine if you've met with a qualified diagnostician to get your ADHD assessment. He dives into the nuances of how ADHD can be confused with other disorders, conditions, and comorbidities. Then we uncover how ADHD can change through your lifespan and how hormonal shifts in perimenopause and menopause affect your ADHD symptoms.  I'm also over the moon that Dr. Goodman is currently working with his fellow experts to redefine the symptoms checklist for ADHD diagnoses in adults.  Let’s dive into a much-needed conversation about how you change over your lifetime, as we look at ADHD in older adults and perimenopause. Find David W. Goodman here: https://addadult.com/   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-242-managing-adhd-perimenopause-older-adults-dr-david-goodman   It can feel super intimidating to show up to a party where you don’t know anyone. Well, I don’t want that fear to keep you from finding your people.  I want to make this super low risk for you to come, try it out, and get a sneak peek before you join our ADHD mom community.  You’re invited to the next Successful Mama Meetups Open House! Join us on Zoom on November 6th to body double for the first 30 minutes, then hangout and meet the other moms in the community for the second half. (Hint hint, we’re pretty amazing IMHO.) No charge, no pressure. Just come hang out! Let me know you wanna come right here and I’ll send you the zoom link.  And since it's on Zoom, everyone can come no matter where you live. Self-diagnosis and ADHD-curious moms welcome.  It’s time to hang out with other moms who get you and make you feel like you’re at home. So come in your comfy clothes and let’s hang out! See you soon!  

When you go to a party, no matter the occasion or fanciness level, people often gravitate towards the kitchen.  They circle up near the host at the grill or around the kitchen island, chatting while leaning against the counter and snacking on crackers. Even when they could be sitting in a comfy chair, people gravitate towards the heartbeat of the party. The kitchen. This is how I want my community to feel… casually hanging around the kitchen counter, with snacks and drinks. Come and go as you please. Showing up as yourself, in whatever you’re wearing that day. No pressure.  I want you to feel like someone is taking care of you. Guiding you. Feeding you snacks and cleaning them up. Giving you a big hug when you walk in and out the door.  (Because honestly, I’m pretty peeved you’re not getting the care you deserve.) Having YOUR people in your corner is more than a nicety. It gives you sturdiness and stability. It’s self-care for tired moms.  You’re invited to hangout around my kitchen island, figuratively speaking.  Join us in creating a space where you can be you, laugh, talk, and even let out a mom sigh or two, because we've all been there. Plus, you'll get to enjoy activities like body doubling and small group discussions where you can find the peas for your pod. You don’t have to juggle everything, including the mental load, on your own.  It’s been so good for the moms (and me, too!) and I want you to come too!  Our Successful Mama Meetup community meets every Wednesday on Zoom.  Come hang out!  Join our next Open House by signing up here and I’ll email you the invite: patriciasung.com/openhouse  It’s totally free to try out. So, grab your earbuds and tune in to find out how we're making Successful Mama Meetups the support system you didn't know you needed—but definitely deserve. After all, who runs the world? Moms!  Want to try out Successful Mama Meetups now? Use the coupon code EPISODE241 for a 50% discount on your first month’s membership. Sign up here: patriciasung.com/meetup   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-241-low-cost-adhd-support-group-for-moms    

There is a 50-75% chance that your child will have ADHD when you, their parent, have ADHD. That means everything multiplies exponentially - both the struggles and the wins! Parenting is already a tough job, and ADHD adds extra flavor, spunk, and responsibility onto both our and our kids’ plates.  How can we raise our ADHD children well?  Meet Tracy Otsuka, author & host of the ADHD for Smart Ass Women podcast & book.  Tracy Otsuka, JD, is a certified ADHD coach and the host of the ADHD for Smart Ass Women podcast. Over the past decade, she has empowered thousands of clients (from doctors and therapists to C-suite executives and entrepreneurs) to see their neurodivergence as a strength–not a weakness. Tracy leverages her analytical skills from being a lead counsel at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission to identify the right questions to ask her clients so they can boost their productivity, improve their finances, save failing relationships and live happier lives. Tracy’s expertise and experience as an adult living with ADHD are regularly sought out by top tier media including Inc, Forbes, ADDitude magazine, and The Goal Digger Podcast. When she’s not sharing her thought leadership around ADHD on other platforms, she hosts her own podcast which ranks #1 in its category and has over 5 million downloads across 160 countries. She also moderates a Facebook group with nearly 100,000 members. A married mother of two, Tracy lives in Sonoma County outside of San Francisco.  We’re often told that people who have degrees or do well in school couldn’t possibly have ADHD. Giant Eye Roll! While Tracy excelled in school, including a law degree, but it wasn’t until she was late-diagnosed with ADHD that she knew it was because she worked harder than everyone else and implemented some serious organization and structure. Today we’re discussing how both Tracy and her son Marcus struggled with undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia in school, affecting their grades and confidence. Tracy focused on supporting Marcus' interests and passions rather than grades, which helped him get into NYU and find his path to success.  Tracy also shares her hard-earned wisdom around communication, understanding strengths and weaknesses, and not passing on generational trauma to her children as part of how her family is able to manage 3 of 4 members having ADHD. With both her son and daughter reaching young adulthood, Tracy is on the other side of motherhood as an empty nester and is shining a light on what truly matters as you raise your ADHD kids well. Find Tracy Otsuka here: https://adhdforsmartwomen.com/   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-240-raising-adhd-children-tracy-otsuka-smart-women   Curious how ADHD shows up frequently in women? Download this free checklist of ADHD symptoms to help you feel confident at your diagnosis assessment or in your own knowledge of ADHD.   I’ve got a podcast for you to check out! I’m honored to partner with Understood.org’s podcast, In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently this month. In each episode, you’ll hear from people sharing their own stories and perspectives on how to navigate and support those who have challenges with reading, math, ADHD, or dyslexia, and more. Listen today for support on how to better support yourself and your child.   Our annual ADHD Moms Luxury Weekend Retreat is coming up October 11-13, 2024 in Houston, Texas! You're officially invited :) “Gift yourself the opportunity to meet like-minded people (literally), make instant friendships, and the space to finally be yourself.” –ADHD Mama T.H. I’ll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy. Put it on your calendar now. Because you deserve to take care of yourself too. Grab your all-inclusive ticket here: patriciasung.com/retreat Last day to get your ticket: Tuesday, September 24th!

Feeling like your body is staging a mutiny? Join the club!  I’ve been dealing with autoimmune issues for over a decade.  The majority of my clients also have autoimmune and chronic health issues, from chronic fatigue, celiac disease, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, to arthritis… the list goes on.  I don’t think that’s a coincidence! It’s not just the physical toll that illness takes on you, but also the mental battle. I grappled often with the impact my health had on my parenting. While I’m sharing a lot of my struggles today, it’s not a whine-fest. I’m also sharing insights on how I see the relationship between autoimmune issues, inflammation, and ADHD. Plus, I’m dishing what has helped me lower my stress levels and take care of myself so that I could take care of my family as best I could, even when all I had were scraps. Self-care isn't selfish; it's a lifeline for the whole family. Although I can’t heal you with my words, I hope to provide an empathetic space and support, shedding light on the intricate dance of health, stress, and parenting with chronic illness.  You’re not alone, Successful Mama. Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor. This is not medical advice. Please consult your healthcare team for specifics on your individual care. I'm sharing my own experience with autoimmune disease and working with others who also have ADHD and chronic illness.    Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-239-are-autoimmune-disease-inflammation-stress-and-adhd-related   I’ve got a podcast for you to check out! I’m honored to partner with Understood.org’s podcast, In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently this month. In each episode, you’ll hear from people sharing their own stories and perspectives on how to navigate and support those who have challenges with reading, math, ADHD, or dyslexia, and more. Listen today for support on how to better support yourself and your child.   Super stressed and need a break? We’re learning more about your stress response and how it relates to treating your ADHD symptoms at our annual ADHD Moms Luxury Weekend Retreat, October 11-13, 2024 in Houston, Texas!  “Honestly, this was one the best weekends I've had since becoming a mom. I've never felt so seen and understood. I would hop on a plane and go again. No hesitation! I'll follow y’all anywhere, moms.” –ADHD Mama J.Q. I’ll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy. I take care of you while you learn how to take even better care of yourself, in a way that’s sustainable for real momlife.  Because you can take care of your family when you’re in a healthy place. Sign up here: https://patriciasung.com/retreat Last day to get your ticket: Tuesday, September 24th!

Have you ever lost it on your kids and your partner gives you some side eye along with, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?” While yes, your child is being rude, you’re mostly grumpy because your shirt is itchy and it’s hot outside. And then you beat yourself up because you think, “what IS wrong with me?” because you turned something little into a yelling fest?!? Sigh. On today's episode of "Motherhood in ADHD," we're diving headfirst into the whirlwind of dealing with hypersensitivity, overstimulation, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Join me as we unravel the mysteries of feeling like a walking nerve on edge and tackle the tough task of managing stress like the patient moms we truly want to be. We're breaking down the nitty-gritty of setting boundaries, learning to navigate criticism without losing our cool, and finding that sweet spot of personal growth that brings the confidence to handle it all.  So grab your latte, snag a comfy spot, and let's dive into hypersensitivity, overstimulation, and all the mama magic in between! If you’d like more support like this, tailored to what moms need, the next round of Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching starts September 12th.  In 3 months together, we’ll get your emotional regulation tools sharpened and your daily schedule sorted, so that you can connect home to what matters to you, start trusting yourself again, and build the life you want to live. Register now, as there are only a couple of spots left: patriciasung.com/lighthouse   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-238-setting-boundaries-navigating-criticism-rsd-hypersensitivity-overstimulation-adhd I’ve got a podcast for you to check out! I’m honored to partner with Understood.org’s podcast, In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently this month. In each episode, you’ll hear from people sharing their own stories and perspectives on how to navigate and support those who have challenges with reading, math, ADHD, or dyslexia, and more. Listen today for support on how to better support yourself and your child.